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A 

yt 

Life 

for a 

Love 

K- ' 









BY 


L. T. MEADE 

Author of “A Girl of the People,” “Frances Kane's Fortune,” Etc- 


Authorised Edition 


NEW YORK 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

SUCCESSORS TO 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY 

150 Worth Street, corner Mission Place 

Every work in this series is published by arrangement with the author. 


Issued Weekly. Annual Subscription, $15.00. March 2, 1891. 
Entered at New York Post Office as second-class matter. 


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On Circumstantial Evidence 


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Florence Marry at 

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Was Ever Woman in this 


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Meade 

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Comedy of a Country House. 



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CONTINUED ON THIRD PAGE OF COVER 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE 




XorelPs International Series, IRc. 152. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE 


i 


BY 

L. T. MEADE 


AUTHOR OF 

“A GIRL OF THE PEOPLE,” “ FRANCES TvANE’S FORTUNE,” ETC. 



NEW YORK 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 

SUCCESSORS TO 

JOHN \Y. LOVELL COMPANY 

I WORTH ST., COR. MISSION PLACE 


P 



9 




Copyright, 1891, 

BY 

UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY 


< 


( 





< ( 
f>* 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


CHAPTER I. 

The time was July, and the roses were out in great pro- 
fusion in the rectory garden. The garden was large, 
somewhat untidily kept, but it abounded in all sweet old- 
fashioned flowers ; there was the invariable tennis-court, 
empty just now, and a sweet sound of children laughing and 
playing together, in a hay-field near by. The roses were 
showering their petals all over the grass, and two girls, 
sisters evidently, were pacing up the broad walk in the 
centre of the garden arm-in-arm. They were dark-eyed 
girls, with chestnut, curling hair, rosy lips full of curves 
and smiles, and round, good-humored faces. They were 
talking eagerly and excitedly one to the other, not taking 
the smallest notice of the scene around them — not even 
replying when some children in the hay-field shouted their 
names, but coming at last to a full stand-still before the 
open window of the old-fashioned rectory study. Two 
men were standing under thedeep-mullioned window ; one 
tall, slightly bent, with silvery-white hair, aquiline features, 
and dark brown eyes like the girls. He was the Rector of 
Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, and the man he was addressing was 
his only son, and the brother of the eager bright-looking 
girls. 


6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ I can’t understand it, Gerald,” he was saying. “ No, 
don't come in at present, my dears ; ” he waved his white, 
delicate hand to his daughters. “ We’ll join you in the 
tennis-court presently. Yes, Gerald, as I was saying, it 
seems the most incomprehensible and unheard-of arrange- 
ment.” 

The girls smiled gently, first into their brother’s face, 
then at one another. They moved away, going through a 
little shrubbery, and passing out into a large kitchen garden, 
where Betty, the old cook, was now standing, picking 
raspberries and currants into a pie-dish. 

“ Betty,” said Lilias, the eldest girl, “ has Martha dusted 
our trunks and taken them upstairs yet ? And has Susan 
sent up the laces and the frilled things ? We want to set 
to work packing, as soon as ever the children are in bed.” 

“ Bless your hearts, then,” said old Betty, laying her pie- 
dish on the ground, and dropping huge ripe raspberries into 
it with a slow deliberate movement, “ if you think that 
children will go to bed on the finest day of the year any- 
time within reason, you’re fine and mistook, that’s all. 
Why, Miss Joey, she was round in the garden but now, 
and they’re all a-going to have tea in the hay-field, and no 
end of butter they’ll eat, and a whole batch of my fresh 
cakes. Oh, weary, weary me, but children’s mouths are 
never full — chattering, restless, untoward things are child- 
ren. Don’t you never go to get married, Miss Marjory.” 

“ I’ll follow your example, Betty,” laughed back Mar- 
jory Wyndham. “ I knew that would fetch the old thing,” 
she continued, turning to her sister. “ She does hate to 
be reminded that she’s an old maid, but she brings it on 
herself by abusing matrimony in that ridiculous fashion.” 

“ It’s all because of Gerald,” answered Lilias — “ she is 
perfectly wild to think of Gerald’s going away from us, and 
taking up his abode in London with those rich Pagets. I 
call it odious, too — I almost feel to-night as if I hated Va- 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


7 


lentine. If Gerald had not fallen in love with her, things 
would have been different. He’d have taken Holy Orders, 
and he’d have been ordained for the curacy of Jewsbury- 
on-the-W.old, and then he need never have gone away. Oh, 
I hate — I detest to think of the rectory without Gerald.” 

“ Oh, Lilias,” replied Marjory, “ you really are — you 
really — you really are ” 

“ What, miss ? Speak out, or I’ll shake you, or pinch 
you, or do something malicious. I warn you that I am 
quite in the mood.” 

“ Then I’ll stand here,” said Marjory, springing to the 
other side of a great glowing bed of many-colored sweet- 
williams. “ Here your arm can’t reach across these. I 
will say of you, Lilias Wyndham, that you are without ex- 
ception the most contradictory and inconsistent person of 
my acquaintance. Here were you, a year ago, crying and 
sobbing on your knees because Gerald couldn’t marry 
Valentine, and now, when it’s all arranged, and the wedding 
is to be the day after to-morrow, and we have got our pro- 
mised trip to London, and those lovely brides-maid dresses 
— made by Valentine’s own express desire at Elise’s — you 
turn round and are grumpy and discontented. Don’t you 
know, you foolish silly Lilias, that if Gerald had never 
fallen in love with Valentine Paget he’d have met someone 
else, and if he was father’s curate, those horrid Mortimer 
girls and those ugly Pelhams would have one and all tried 
to get him. We can’t keep Gerald to ourselves for ever, 
so there’s no use fretting about the inevitable, say I.” 

Lilias’ full red lips were pouting ; she stooped, and reck- 
lessly gathering a handful of sweet-williams, flung them at 
her sister. 

“ I own to being inconsistent,” she said. “ I own to 
being cross — I own to hating Valentine for this night at 
least, for it just tears my heart to give Gerald up.” 

There were real tears now in the bright, curly-fringed 
eyes and the would-be-defiant voice trembled. 


8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Marjory shook the sweet-william petals off her dress. 

“ Come into the house,” she said in a softened tone. 
“ Father and Gerald must have finished that prosy discus- 
sion by now. Oh, do hark to those children’s voices ; 
what rampageous, excitable creatures they are. Lily, did 
we ever shout in such shrill tones ? That must be Augusta : 
no one else has a voice which sounds like the scraping of 
a coal-scoop in an empty coal-hod. Oh, of course that 
high laugh belongs to Joey. Aren’t, they feeding, and 
wrangling, and fighting ? I am quite sure, Lil, that Betty 
is right, and ihey won’t turn in for hours ; we had better 
go and do our packing now.” 

“ No, I see Gerald,” exclaimed Lilias. And she flew up 
the narrow box-lined path to meet her brother. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


9 


CHAPTER II. 

Gerald Wyndham was not in the least like his rosy, 
fresh-looking sisters. He was tall and slenderly made, with 
very thick and rat.her light-brown hair, which stood up 
high over his low, white forehead — his eyes were large, but 
were deeply set, they were grey, not brown, in repose were 
dreaming in expression, but when he spoke, or when any 
special thought came to him, they grew intensely earnest, 
luminous and beautiful. The changing expression of his 
eyes was the chief charm of a highly sensitive and refined 
face — a face remarkable in many ways, for the breadth of 
his forehead alone gave it character, but with some weak 
lines about the finely cut lips. This weakness was now, 
however, hidden by a long, silken moustache. Lilias and 
Marjory thought Gerald’s face the most beautiful in the 
world, and most people acknowledged him to be handsome, 
although his shoulders were scarcely broad enough for his 
height, and his whole figure was somewhat loosely hung 
together. 

“ Here you are at last,” exclaimed Lilias, linking her 
hand in her brother’s arm. “ Here, take his other arm, 
Maggie. Oh, when, and oh, when, and oh, when shall we 
have him to ourselves again, I wonder ? ” 

11 You little goose,” said Gerald. He shook himself as 
if he were half in a dream, and looked fondly down into 
Lilias’ pretty dimpled, excitable face. “ Well, girls, are the 
trunks packed, and have you put in plenty of finery? I 
promise you Mr. Paget will give a dinner-party every night 
— you’ll want heaps of fine clothes while you stay at 
Queen’s Gate.” 

Marjory began to count on her fingers. 


io 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ We arrive on Wednesday,” she said. “On Wednes- 
day evening, dinner number one, we wear our white Indian 
muslins, with the Liberty sashes, and flowers brought up 
from the dear old garden. Thursday evening, dinner num- 
ber two, and evening of wedding day, our bridesmaids’ 
toggery must suffice; Friday, dinner number three, those 
blue nun’s veiling dresses will appear and charm the eyes. 
That’s all. Three dresses for three dinners, for it’s home, 
sweet home again on Saturday — isn’t it, Lilias ? ” 

“ Of course,” said Lilias, “ that is, I suppose so,” she 
added, glancing at her brother. 

“ Valentine wanted to know if you would stay in town 
for a week or ten days, and try to cheer up her father,” 
said Gerald. “Mr. Paget and Valentine have scarcely 
been parted for a single day since she was born. Valen- 
tine is quite in a state at having to leave him for a month, 
and she thinks two bright little girls like you may comfort 
him somewhat.” 

“ But we have our own father to see to,” pouted Marjory ; 
“ and Sunday school, and choir practising, and the library 
books ” 

“ And I don’t see how Valentine can mind leaving her 
father — if he were the very dearest father in the world — 
when she goes away with you,” interrupted Lilias. 

Gerald sighed, just the faintest shadow of an impatient 
sigh, accompanied by the slightest shrug of his shoulders. 

“ Augusta can give out the library books,” he said. 
“ Miss Queen can manage the choir. I will ask Jones to 
take your class, Lilias, and Miss Peters can manage yours 
with her own, Marjory. As to the rector, what is the use 
of having five young daughters, if they cannot be made 
available for once in a way ? And here they come, and 
there’s the governor in the midst of them. He doesn’t 
look as if he were likely to taste the sweets of solitude, eh, 
Marjory ? ” 


A LIFE FOk A LOVE. 


It 


Not at that moment, certainly, for a girl hung on each 
arm, and a smaller girl sat aloft on each square shoulder, 
while a fifth shouted and raced, now in front, now behind, 
pelting this moving pyramid of human beings with flowers, 
and screaming even more shrilly than her sisters, with eager 
exclamation and bubbling laughter. 

“ There’s Gerry,” exclaimed Augusta. 

She was the tallest of the party, with a great stretch of 
stockinged legs, and a decided scarcity of skirts. She flew 
at her brother, flung her arms round his neck and kissed 
him rapturously. 

“ You darling old Gerry — don’t we all just hate and 
detest that horrible Valentine Paget.” 

“ Hush, Gussie,” responded Gerald, in his quiet voice. 
“ You don’t know Valentine, and you pain me when you 
talk of her in that senseless fashion. Here, have a race 
with your big brother to the other end of the garden. 
Girls,” turning to his elder sisters — “ seriously speaking I 
should like you to spend about a fortnight with the Pagets. 
And had you not better go and pack, for we must catch 
the eleven o’clock train to-morrow morning. Now, Gussie 
— one, two, three, and away.” 

Two pairs of long legs, each working hard to come off 
victorious in the race, flew past the group — the rector and 
the little girls cheered and shouted — Marjory and Lilias, 
laughing at the sight, turned slowly and went into the 
house ; Gerald won the race by a foot or two, and Gussie 
flung herself panting and laughing on the grass at the other 
end of the long walk. 

“ Well done, Augusta,” said her brother. “ You study 
athletics to a purpose. Now, Gussie, can’t you manage to 
give away the library books on Sunday ? ” 

“ I ? You don’t mean it ? ” said Augusta. Her black 
eyes sparkled; she recovered her breath, and the full 
dignity of her five feet five and a-half of growth on the 


M 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


instant. “ Am I to give away the library books, Gerry ? ” 

“ Yes, I want Lilias to stay in London for a few days 
longer than she intended.” 

“ And Marjory too ? ” 

“ Of course. The girls would not like to be parted.” 

“ Galuptions ! Won’t I have a time of it all round ! 
Won’t I give old Peters a novel instead of his favorite 
Sunday magazines ? And won’t I smuggle Pailey’s Evi- 
dences of Christianity into the hand of Alice Jones, the 
dressmaker. She says the only books she cares for are 
Wilkie Collins’ ‘ Woman in White,’ and the ‘ Dead Secret,’ 
so she’ll have a lively time of it with the Evidences. Then 
there’s ‘Butler’s Analogy,’ it isn’t in the parish library, 
but I’ll borrow it for once from father’s study. That will 
exactly suit Rhoda Fleming. Oh, what fun, what fun. I 
won’t take a single story-book with me, except the ‘ Woman 
in White,’ for Peters. He says novels are ‘ rank poison,’ so 
he shall have his dose.” 

“ Now look here, Gussie,” said Gerald, taking his sister’s 
two hands in his, and holding them tight — “ you’ve got to 
please me about the library books, and not to play pranks, 
and make things disagreeable for Lilias when she comes 
back. You’re thirteen now, and a big girl, and you ought 
to act like one. You’re to make things comfortable for the 
dear old pater while we are all away, and you’ll do it if 
you care for me, Gussie.” 

“ Care for you ! ” echoed Augusta. “ I love you, Gerry. 
I love you, and I hate ” 

“ No, don’t say that,” said Gerald, putting his hand on 
the girl’s mouth.” 

Gussie looked droll and submissive. 

“ It is so funny,” she exclaimed at length. 

u You can explain that as we walk back to the house,” 
responded her brother. 

“ Why, Gerry, to see you so frightfully in love ! You 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


! 3 

are, aren’t you ? You have all the symptoms — oh, before 
1 — ” 

“ I love Valentine,” responded Gerald. “ That is a sub- 
ject I cannot discuss with you, Augusta. When you know 
her you will love her too. I am going to bring her here in 
the autumn, and then I shall want you all to be good to her, 
and to let her feel that she has a great number of real sisters 
at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, who will be good to her if she 
needs them, by-and-bye.” 

“ As if she ever could need us,” responded Gussie. 
“ She’ll have you. Yes, I’ll do my best about the books — 
good-night, Gerald. Good-night, dear old darling king. 
That’s Miss Queen’s voice. Coming, Miss Queen, coming ! 
Good-night, old Gerry. My love to that Val of yours. Oh, 
what a nuisance it is to have ever to go to bed.” 

Gussie’s long legs soon bore her out of sight, and Gerald 
stepped into the silent and now empty study. To an 
initiated eye this room bore one or two marks of having 
lately witnessed a mental storm. Close to the rector’s 
leather armchair Lay a pile of carefully torn-up papers — the 
family Bible, which usually occupied a place of honor on 
his desk, had been pushed ruthlessly on one side, and a 
valuable work on theology lay wide open and face down- 
wards on the floor. Otherwise the room was in perfect 
order — the only absolutely neat apartment in the large old 
house. Not the most daring of all the young Wyndhams 
would disturb a volume here, or play any wild pranks in 
the sacred precincts of the rector’s study. As Gerald now 
entered the room and saw these signs of mental disquiet 
round Mr. Wyndham’s chair, the pleasant and somewhat 
cheerful look left his face, his eyes grew dark, earnest and 
full of trouble, and flinging himself on the sofa, he shaded 
them with his white long fingers. There was an oil paint- 
ing of a lady over the mantel-piece, and this lady had 
Gerald’s^ face. From her he inherited those peculiar and 


14 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


sensitive eyes, those somewhat hollow cheeks, and that 
noble and broad white brow. From hen, too, came the lips 
which were curved and beautiful, and yet a little, a little 
wanting in firmness. In Mrs. Wyndham the expressive 
mouth only added the final touch of womanliness to a 
beautiful face. In her son it would have revealed, could it 
have been seen, a nature which might be led astray from 
the strictest paths of honor. 

Wyndham sat motionless for a few moments, then spring- 
ing to his feet, he paced restlessly up and down the empty 
study. 

u Everything is fixed and settled now,” he said, under 
his breath. “ I’m not the first fellow who has sold himself 
for the sake of a year’s happiness. If my mother were 
alive, though, I couldn’t have done it, no, not even for 
Valentine. Poor mother ! She felt sure I’d have taken 
Holy Orders, and worked on here with the governor in this 
sleepy little corner of the world. It’s a blessing she can’t 
be hurt by anything now, and as to the governor, he has 
seven girls to comfort him. No, if I’m sorry for any- 
one it’s Lilias, but the thing’s done now. The day 
after to-morrow Val will be mine. A whole year ! My 
God, how short it is. My God, save and pity me, for 
afterwards comes hell.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


*5 


CHAPTER III. 

The human face has been often spoken of as an index of 
the mind. There are people who boldly declare that they 
know a man by the height of his forehead, by the set of 
his eyes, by the shape of his head, and by the general ex- 
pression of his countenance. Whether this rule is true or 
not, it certainly has its exceptions. As far as outward 
expression goes some minds remain locked, and Satan him- 
self can now and then appear transformed as an angel of 
light. 

Mortimer Paget, Esq., the head and now sole represen- 
tative of the once great ship-broking firm of Paget Bro- 
thers, was one of the handsomest and most striking-look- 
ing men in the city. On more than one occasion sculptors 
of renown had asked to be permitted to take a cast of his 
head to represent Humanity, Benevolence, .Integrity, or 
some other cardinal virtue. He had a high forehead, calm 
velvety brown eyes, perfectly even and classical features, 
and firm lips with a sweet expression. His lips were per- 
fectly hidden by his silvery moustache, and the shape of 
his chin was not discernible, owing to his long flowing 
beard. But had the beard and moustache both been re- 
moved, no fault could have been found with the features 
now hidden — they were firmly and well-moulded. On this 
beautiful face no trace of a sinister cast lurked. 

Mortimer Paget in his business transactions was the 
soul pf honor. No man in the city was more looked up to 
than he. He was very shrewd with regard to all money 
matters, but he was also generous and kind. The old 
servants belonging to the firm never cared to leave him ; 


i6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


when they died off he pensioned their widows and pro- 
vided for their orphans. He was a religious man, of the 
evangelical type, and he conducted his household in every 
way from a religious point of view. Family prayers were 
held night and morning in the great house in Queen’s 
Gate, and the servants were expected each and all to 
attend church twice on Sundays. Mr. Paget had found a 
church where the ritual was sufficiently low to please his 
religious views. To this church he went himself twice on 
Sundays, invariably accompanied by a tall girl, richly 
dressed, who clung to his side and read out of the same 
book with him, singing when he sang, and very often slip- 
ping her little hand into his, and closing her bright eyes 
when he napped unconsciously during the prosy sermon. 

This girl was his only child, and while he professed to 
be actuated by the purest love for both God and his fellow 
creatures, the one being for whom his heart really beat 
warmly, the one being for whom he could gladly have 
sacrificed himself was this solitary girl. 

Valentine’s mother had died at her birth, and since that 
day Valentine and her father had literally never been 
parted. She was his shadow, like him in appearance, and 
as far as those who knew her could guess like him in 
character. 

The house in Queen’s Gate was full of all the accom- 
paniments of wealth. It was richly and splendidly fur- 
nished ; the drawing-rooms were spacious, the reception- 
rooms were all large. Valentine had her own bou- 
doir, her own special school-room, her own bedroom 
and dressing-room. Her father had provided a suite 
of rooms for her, each communicating with the other, 
but except that she tossed off her handsome dresses in the 
dressing-room, and submitted at intervals during tb£ day 
with an unwilling grace to the services of her maid, and 
except that she laid her bright little curling head each 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


17 


evening on the softest of down-pillows, Valentine’s suite of 
rooms saw very little of their young mistress. 

There was an old library in the back part of the house 
— an essentially dull room, with windows fitted with 
painted glass, and shelves lined with books, most of them 
in tarnished and worm-eaten bindings, where Mr. Paget 
sat whenever he was at home, and where in consequence 
Valentine was to be found. Her sunny head, with its 
golden wavy hair, made a bright spot in the old room. 
She was fond of perching herself on the top of the step- 
ladder, and so seated burrowing eagerly into the contents 
of some musty old volume. She devoured the novels of 
Smollett and Fielding, and many other books which were 
supposed not to be at all good for her, in this fashion — 
they did her no harm, the bad part falling away, and not 
touching her, for her nature was very pure and bright, and 
although she saw many shades of life in one way or 
another, and with all her expensive education, was allowed 
to grow up in a somewhat wild fashion, and according to 
her own sweet will, yet she was a perfectly innocent and 
unsophisticated creature. 

When she was seventeen, Mr. Paget told her that he 
was going to inaugurate a new state of things. 

“ You must go into society, Val,” he said. “ In these 
days the daughters of city men of old standing like myself 
are received everywhere. I will get your mother’s third 
cousin, Lady Prince, to present you at the next Drawing- 
room, and then you must go the usual round, I suppose. 
We must get some lady to come here to chaperon you, 
and you will go out to balls and assemblies, and during the 
London season turn night into day.” 

Val was seated on the third rung of the step-ladder 
when her father made this announcement. She sprang 
lightly from her perch now, and ran to his side. 


2 


i8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


u I won’t go anywhere without you, dad ; so that’s 
settled. Poor old man ! — dear old man ! ” 

She put her arms round his neck, and his white mous- 
tache and beard swept across her soft, peach-like cheek. 

“ But I hate going out in the evening, Val. I’m getting 
an old man — sixty next birthday, my dear — and I work 
hard all day. There’s no place so sweet to me in the 
evening as this worm-eaten, old armchair ; — I should find 
myself lost in a crowd. Time was when I was the gayest 
of the gay. People used to speak of me as the life and 
soul of every party I went to, but that time is over for me, 
Val ; for you it is beginning.” 

“You are mistaken, father. I perch myself on the arm 
of this wretched, worm-eaten, old chair, and stay here with 
you, or I go into society with you. It’s all the same to 
me — you can please yourself.” 

“ Don’t you know that you are a very saucy lass, miss ? ” 

“ Am I ? I really don’t care — I go with you, or I stay 
with you — that’s understood. Dad — father dear — that’s 
always to be the way, you understand. You and I are to 
be always together — all our lives. You quite see what I 
mean ? ” 

“ Yes, my darling. But some day you will have a hus- 
band, Val. I want you to marry, and have a good husband, 
child; and then we’ll see if your old father still comes 
first.” 

Valentine laughed gaily 

“ We’ll see,” she repeated. “ Father, if you are not 
awfully busy, I must read you this bit out of Roderick 
Random — listen, is not it droll ? ” 

She fetched the volume with its old-fashioned type and 
obsolete s’es, and the two faces so alike and so beautiful, 
and so full of love for one another, bent over the page. 

Valentine Paget had her way, and when she made her 
debut in the world of fashion she was accompanied by no 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


19 


other chaperon than her handsome father. A Mrs. John- 
stone, a distant relative of Valentine’s mother had been 
asked to come to drive with the young lady in the Parks, 
and to exercise a very mild surveillance over her conduct 
generally, when she received her visitors at five o’clock 
tea, but in the evenings Mr. Paget alone took her into 
society. The pair were striking enough to make an instant 
success. Each acted as a foil and heightenerto the beauty 
of the other. Mortimer Paget was recognized by some of 
his old cronies — fair ladies who had known him when he 
was young, reproached him gently for having worn so well, 
professed to take a great interest in his girl, and watched 
her with narrow, critical, but not unkindly eyes. The girl 
was fresh and naive , perfectly free and untrammelled, a 
tiny bit reckless, a little out of the common. Her handsome 
face, her somewhat isolated^ position, and her reputed 
fortune, for Mortimer Paget was supposed to be one of the 
richest men in the city, soon made her the fashion. Valen- 
tine Paget, in her first season, was spoken about, talked 
over, acknowledged to be a beauty, and had, of course, 
plenty of lovers. 

No one could have taken a daughter’s success with 
more, apparent calmness than did her father. He never 
interfered with her — he never curbed her light and graceful, 
although somewhat eccentric, ways ; but when any particu- 
lar young man had paid her marked attention for more 
than two nights running, had anyone watched closely they 
might have seen a queer, alert, anxious look come into the 
fine old face. The sleepy brown eyes would awake, and 
be almost eagle-like in the keenness of their glance. No 
one knew how it was done, but about that possible suitor 
inquiries of the closest and most delicate nature were 
instantly set on foot ; and as these inquiries, from Mr. 
Paget’s point of view, in each case proved eminently 
unsatisfactory, when next the ardent lover met the beauti- 


20 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


ful Miss Paget, a thin but impenetrable wall of ice seemed 
to have started up between them. Scarcely any of Valen- 
tine’s lovers came to the point of proposing for her; 
they were quietly shelved, they scarcely knew how, long 
before matters arrived at this crisis. Young men who in 
all respects seemed eligible of the eligible — men with good 
names and rent-rolls, alike were given a sort of invisible 
cotige. The news was therefore received as a most startling 
piece of information at the end of Valentine’s first season, 
that she was engaged, with the full consent and approval 
of her most fastidious father, to about the poorest man of 
her acquaintance. 

Gerald Wyndham was the only son of a country clergy- 
man — he was young, only twentyrtwo ; he was spoken about 
as clever, but in the eyes of Valentine’s friends seemed to 
have no one special thing # to entitle him to aspire to the 
hand of one of the wealthiest and most beautiful girls of 
their acquaintance. 

It was reported among Mr. Paget’s friends that this 
excellent, honorable and worthy gentleman must surely 
have taken leave of his senses, for Gerald Wyndham had 
literally not a penny, and before his engagement to Valen- 
tine, the modest career opening up before him was that of 
Holy Orders in one of its humblest walks. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


21 


CHAPTER IV. 

Wyndham before his engagement was one of the most 
boyish of men. All the sunshine, the petting, the warmth, 
the love, which encircled him as the prime favorite of many 
sisters and .an adoring father at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, 
seemed to have grown into his face. His deep grey-blue 
changeful eyes were always laughing — he was witty, and he 
said witty and laughable things by the score. The young 
man had plenty of talent, and a public school and universi- 
ty education had developed these abilities to a fine point of 
culture. His high spirits, and a certain Irish way which he 
inherited from his mother, made him a universal favorite, 
but at all times he had his grave moments. A look, a word 
would change that beaming, expressive face, bring sadness 
to the eyes, and seriousness to the finely curved lips. The 
shadows passed as quickly as they came. Before Wynd- 
ham met Valentine they were simply indications of the 
sensitiveness of a soul which was as keenly strung to pain 
as to joy. 

It is a trite saying that what is easily attained is esteemed 
of little value. Valentine found lovers by the score ; in 
consequence, the fact of a man paying her attention, look- 
ing at her with admiration, and saying pretty nothings in 
her ear, gave her before her first season was over only a 
slightly added feeling ‘of ennui. At this juncture in her 
life she was neither in love with her lovers nor with society. 
She was younger than most girls when they make their 
entrance into the world, and she would infinitely have 
preferred the sort of half schoolroom, half nursery existence 
she used to lead. She yawned openly and wished for bed 


22 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


when she was dragged out night after night, and when fresh 
suitors appeared she began really to regard them as a 
weariness to the flesh. 

Gerald Wyndham did not meet Valentine in quite the 
ordinary fashion. 

On a certain hot day in July, she had been absolutely 
naughty, the heat had enervated her, the languor of summer 
was over her, and after a late dinner, instead of going duti- 
fully upstairs to receive some final touches from her maid, 
before starting for a great crush at the house of a city 
magnate near by, she had flown away to the library, turned 
on the electric light, and mounting the book-ladder 
perched herself on her favorite topmost rung, took down 
her still more favorite “Evelina,” and buried herself in its 
fascinating pages. Past and present were both alike for- 
gotten by the young reader, she hated society for herself, 
but she loved to read of Evelina’s little triumphs, and Lord 
Orville was quite to her taste. 

“ If I could only meet a man like him,” she murmured, 
flinging down her book, and looking across the old library 
with her starry eyes, “ Oh, father, dear, how you startled 
me ! Now, listen, please. I will not go out to-night — I am 
sleepy — I am tired — I am yawning dreadfully. Oh, what 
have I said ? — how rude of you, sir, to come and startle 
me in that fashion ! ” 

For Valentine’s light words had not been addressed to 
Mr. Paget, but to a young man in evening dress, a perfect 
stranger, who came into the room, and was now looking up 
and actually laughing at her. 

“ How rude of you,” said Valentine, and she began hast- 
ily to descend from her elevated position. In doing so she 
slipped, and would have fallen if Wyndham had not come 
to the rescue, coolly lifting the enraged young lady into his 
arms and setting her on the floor. 

“ Now I will beg your pardon as often as you like,” he 
said. “ I was shown in here by a servant. I am waiting 


23 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 

for Mr. Paget — I was introduced to him this morning — my 
father turns out to be an old friend, and he was good enough 
to ask me to go with you both to the Terrells to-night.” 

“Delightful!” said Valentine. “I’ll forgive you, of 
course ; you’ll take the dear old man, and I’ll stay snugly 
at home. I’m so anxious to finish ‘ Evelina.’ Have you 
ever read the book ? — Don’t you love Lord Orville ? ” 

“ No, I love Evelina best,” replied Gerald. 

The two pairs of eyes met, both were full of laughter, and 
both pairs of lips were indulging in merry peals of mirth 
when Mr. Paget entered the room. 

“ There you are, Val,” he said. “ You have introduced 
yourself to Wyndham. Quite right. Now, was there ever 
anything more provoking ? I have just received a tele- 
gram.” Here Mr. Paget showed a yellow envelope. “ I 
must meet a business man at Charing Cross in an hour, on 
a matter of some importance. I can’t put it off, and so, 
Val, I don’t see how I am to send you to the Terrells all 
alone. It is too bad — why, what is the matter, child ? ” 

“ Too delightful, you mean,” said Valentine. “ I wasn’t 
going. I meant to commit high treason to-night. I was quite 
determined to — now I needn’t. Do you mean to go to the 
Terrells by yourself, Mr. Wyndham ? ” 

“ The pleasure held out was to go with you and your 
father,” responded Wyndham, with an old-fashioned bow, 
and again that laughing look in his eyes. 

Mr. Paget’s benevolent face beamed all over. 

“ Go up to the drawing-room, then, young folks, and 
amuse yourselves,” he said. “ Our good friend, Mrs. John- 
stone, will bear you company. Val, you can sing some- 
thing to Wyndham to make up for his disappointment. 
She sings like a bird, and is vain of it, little puss. Yes, go 
away, both of you, and make the best of things.” 

“The best of things is to remain here,” said Valentine. 
“ I hate the drawing-room, and that dear, good Mrs. John- 


24 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


stone, if she must act chaperon, can bring her knitting down 
here. I am so sorry for you, Mr. Wyndham, but I don’t 
mean to sing a single song to-night. Had you not better 
go to the Terrells ? ” 

“ No, I mean to stay and read 1 Evelina,’” replied the 
obdurate young man. 

Mr. Paget laughed again. 

“ I will send our good friend, Mrs. Johnstone, to make 
tea for you,” he said, and he hurried out of the room. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


2 S 


CHAPTER V. 

This was the very light and airy beginning of a friendship 
which was to ripen into serious and even appalling results. 
Wyndham was a man who found it very easy to make girls 
like him. He had so many sisters of his own that he under- 
stood their idiosyncrasies, and knew how to humor their 
little failings, how to be kind to their small foibles, and how 
to flatter their weaknesses. More than one girl had fallen 
in love with this handsome and attractive young man. 
Wyndham was aware of these passionate attachments, but 
as he could not feel himself particularly guilty in having 
inspired them, and as he did not in the slightest degree 
return them, he did not make himself unhappy over what 
could not be cured. It puzzled him not a little to know 
why girls should be so silly, and how hearts could be so 
easily parted with — he did not know when he questioned 
his own spirit lightly on the matter that the day of retribu- 
tion was at hand. He lost his own heart to Valentine with- 
out apparently having made the smallest impression upon 
this bright and seemingly volatile girl. 

On that very first night in the old library Wyndham left 
his heart at the gay girl’s feet. He was seriously in love. 
Before a week was out he had taken the malady despe- 
rately, and in its most acute form. It was then that a 
change came over his face, it was then for the first time 
that he became aware of the depths of his own nature. 
Great abysses of pain were opened up to him — he found 
himself all sensitiveness, all nerves. He had been proud 
of his rather athletic bringing-up, of his intellectual train- 
ing. He had thought poorly of other men who had given 


26 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


up all for the sake of a girl’s smile, and for the rather 
doubtful possession of a girl’s fickle heart. He did not 
laugh at them any longer. He spent his nights pacing his 
room, and his days haunting the house at Queen’s Gate. If 
he could not go in he could linger near the house. He could 
lounge in the park and see Valentine as she drove past, 
and nodded and smiled to him brightly. His own face 
turned pale when she gave him those quick gay glances. 
She was absolutely heart-whole — a certain intuition told him 
this, whereas he — he found himself drivelling into a state 
bordering on idiotcy. 

Almost all men have gone through similar crises, but 
Wyndham at this time was making awful discoveries. He 
was finding out dify by day the depths of weakness as well 
as pain within him. 

“ I’m the greatest fool that ever breathed,” he would say 
to himself. “ What would Lilias say if she saw me now ? 
How often she and I have laughed over this great momen- 
tous matter — how often we have declared that we at least 
would never lose ourselves in so absurd a fashion. Poor 
Lilias, I suppose her turn will come as mine has come — I 
cannot understand myself — I really must be raving mad. 
How dare I go to Mr. Paget and ask him to give me Valen- 
tine ? I have not got a halfpenny in the world. This 
money in my pocket is my father’s — I have to come to him 
for every sixpence ! I am no better off than my little sister 
Joan. When I am ordained, and have secured the curacy 
of Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, I shall have exactly <£160 a 
year. A large sum truly. And yet I want to marry Valen- 
tine Paget — the youngest heiress of the "season — the most 
beautiful — the most wealthy ! Oh, of course I must be mad 
— quite mad. I ought to shun her like the plague. She 
does not in the least care for me — not in the least. I often 
wonder if she has got a heart anywhere. She acts as a sort 
of siren to me — luring me on — weakening and enfeebling 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


*7 


my whole nature. She is a little flirt in her way, but an 
unconscious one. She means nothing by that bright look 
in her eyes, and that sparkling smile, and that gay clear 
laugh. I wonder if any other man has felt as badly about 
her as I do. Oh, I ought to shun her — I am simply mad 
to go there as I do. When I get an invitation — when I have 
the ghost of a chance of seeing her — it seems as if thousands 
of invisible ropes pulled me to her side. What is to come 
of it all? Nothing — nothing but my own undoing. I can 
never marry her — and yet I must — I will. I would go 
through fire and water to hold her to my heart for a moment. 
There, I must have been quite mad when I said that — 1 
didn’t mean it. I’m sane now, absolutely sane. I know 
what I’ll do. I won’t dine there to-night. I’ll send an 
excuse, and I’ll run down to the old rectory until Monday, 
and get Lilias to cure me.” 

The infatuated young man seized a sheet of notepaper, 
dashed off an incoherent and decidedly lame excuse to 
Mr. Paget, and trembling with fear that his resolution 
would fail him even at the eleventh hour, rushed out and 
dropped the letter into the nearest pillar-box. This action 
was bracing, he felt better, and in almost gay spirits, for 
his nature was wonderfully elastic. He took the next train 
to Jewsbury, and arrived unexpectedly at the pleasant old 
rectory late on Saturday evening. 

The man who is made nothing of in one place, and finds 
himself absolutely the hero of the hour in another, cannot 
help experiencing a very soothed sensation. Valentine 
Paget had favored Gerald with the coolest of nods, the 
lightest of words, the most indifferent of actions. She met 
him constantly, she was always stumbling up against him, 
and when she wanted him to do anything for her she issued 
a brief and lordly command. Her abject slave flew to do 
her bidding. 

Now at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold the slave was in the posi- 
tion of master, and he could not help enjoying the change. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


28 


“ Augusta, wheel that chair round for Gerald. Sit there, 
Gerald, darling — oh, you are in a draught. Shut the door, 
please, Marjory. Joan, run to the kitchen, and tell Betty 
to make some of Gerald’s favorite cakes for supper. Is 
your tea quite right, Gerry ; have you sugar enough — and 
— and cream ? ” 

Gerald briefly expressed himself satisfied. Lilias was 
superintending the tea-tray with a delicate flush of pleasure 
on her cheeks, and her bright eyes glancing moment by 
moment in admiration at her handsome brother. Marjory 
had placed herself on a footstool at the hero’s feet, and 
Augusta, tall and gawky, all stockinged-legs, and abnor- 
mally thin long arms, was standing at the back of his 
chair, now and then venturing to caress one of his crisp 
light waves of hair with the tips of her fingers. 

“It is too provoking!” burst from Marjory, — “you 
know, Lilias, we can’t put Gerald into his old room, it is 
being papered, and you haven’t half-finished decorating the 
door. Gerry, darling, you might have let us know you 
were coming and we’d have worked at it day and night. 
Do you mind awfully sleeping in the spare room ? We’ll 
promise to make it as fresh as possible for you ? ” 

“ I’ll — I’ll — fill the vases with flowers — ” burst spasmo- 
dically from Augusta. “ Do you like roses or hollyhocks 
best in the tall vases on the mantel-piece, Gerry ? ” 

a By the way, Gerald,” remarked the rector, who was 
standing leaning against the mantel-piece, gazing compla- 
cently at his son and daughters, “ I should like to ask 
your opinion with regard to that notice on Herring’s book 
in the Saturday. Have you read it ? It struck me as over 
critical, but I should like to have your opinion.” 

So the conversation went on, all adoring, all making much 
of the darling of the house. Years afterwards, Gerald 
Wyndham remembered that summer’s evening, the scent 
of the roses coming in at the open window, the touch of 
Marjory’s little white hand as it rested on his knee, the 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


29 


kind of half-irritated, half-pleased thrill which went through 
him when Augusta touched his hair, the courteous and 
proud look on the rector’s face when he addressed him, 
above all the glow of love in Lilias’ beautiful eyes. He 
remembered that evening — he was not likely ever to forget 
it, for it was one of the last of his happy boyhood, before 
he took upon him his manhood’s burden of sin and sorrow 
and shame. 

After tea Lilias and Gerald walked about the garden arm- 
in-arm. 

“ I am going to confess something to you,” said the 
brother. “ I want your advice, Lilly. I want you to cure 
me, by showing me that I am the greatest fool that ever 
lived.” 

“ But you are not, Gerald ; I can’t say it when I 
look up to you, and think there is no one like you. You 
are first in all the world to me — you know that, don’t 
you ? ” 

“ Poor Lil, that is just the point — that is where the arrow 
will pierce you. I am going to aim a blow at you, dear. 
Take me down from your pedestal at once — I love some- 
one else much, much better than I love you.” 

Lilias’ hand as it rested on Gerald’s arm trembled very 
slightly. He looked at her, and saw that her lips were 
moving, and that her eyes were looking downwards. 
She did not make any audible sound, however, and he went 
on hastily : — 

“ And you and I, we always promised each other that 
such a day should not come — no wonder you are angry 
with me, Lil.” 

“ But I’m not, dear Gerald — I just got a nasty bit of 
jealous pain for a minute,, but it is over. I always knew 
that such a day would come, that it would have to come — 
if not for me, at least for you. Tell me about her, Gerry. 
Is she nice — is she half — or a quarter nice enough for 
you?” 


3o 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Then Gerald launched into his subject, forgetting what 
he supposed could only be a very brief sorrow on Lilias’ 
part in the enthralling interest of his theme. Valentine 
Paget would not have recognized the portrait which was 
drawn of her, for this young and ardent lover crowned her 
with all that was noble, and decked her with attributes 
little short of divine. 

“ I am absolutely unworthy of her,” he said in conclu- 
sion, and when Lilias shook her head, and refused to 
believe this latter statement, he felt almost angry with 
her. 

The two walked about and talked together until dark- 
ness fell, but, although they discussed the subject in all its 
bearings, Gerald felt by no means cured when he retired to 
rest, while Lilias absolutely cried herself to sleep. 

Marjory and she slept in little white beds, side by side. 

“ Oh, Lil, what's the matter?” exclaimed the younger 
sister, disturbed out of her own sweet slumbers by those 
unusual tokens of distress. 

“ Nothing much,” replied Lilias, “ only — only — I am a 
little lonely — don’t ask me any questions, Maggie, I’ll be 
all right in the morning.” 

Marjory was too wise to say anything further, but she 
lay awake herself and wondered. What could ail Lilias ? 
— Lilias, the brightest, the gayest of them all. Was she 
fretting about their mother. But it was seven years now 
since the mother had been taken away from the rectory 
children, and Lilias had got over the grief which had nearly 
broken her child-heart at the time. 

Marjory felt puzzled and a little fearful, — the evening be- 
fore had been so sweet, — Gerald had been so delightful. 
Surely in all the world' there was not a happier home than 
Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. Why should Lilias cry, and say 
that she was lonely ? 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE . 


3 1 


CHAPTER VI. 

On Monday morning Wyndham returned to town. His 
father had strained a point to give his only son the season in 
London, and Gerald was paying part of the expenses by 
coaching one or two young fellows for the next Cambridge 
term. He had just concluded his own University course, 
and was only waiting until his twenty-third birthday had 
passed, to be ordained for the curacy which his father was 
keeping for him. Gerald’s birthday would be in Septem- 
ber, and the rectory girls were looking forward to this date 
as though it were the beginning of the millennium. 

“ Even the cats won’t fight, nor the dogs bark when 
Gerald is in the room,” whispered little Joan. “ I ’spect 
they know he don’t like it.” 

Wyndham returned to London feeling both low and ex- 
cited. His conversation with Lilias and the rather pallid 
look of her face, the black shadows under her eyes, and 
the pathetic expression which the shedding of so many 
tears had given to them, could not cure him nor extinguish 
the flame which was burning into his heart, and making all 
the other good things of life seem but as dust and ashes to 
his taste. 

He arrived in town, went straight to his lodgings, prepa- 
ratory to keeping his engagement with one of his young 
pupils, and there saw waiting for him a letter in the firm 
upright handwriting of Mortimer Paget. He tore the 
envelope open in feverish haste. The lines within were 
very few 

“Dear Wyndham, 

“ Val and I were disappointed at your not putting in an appearance at 
Jier dinner-party last night, but no doubt you had good reasons for going 


32 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


into the country. This note will meet you on your return. Can you 
come and lunch with me in the City on Monday at two o’clock ? Come 
to my place in Billiter-square. I shall expect you and won’t keep you 
waiting. I have a matter of some importance I should like to discuss 
with you. — Yours, my dear Wyndham, sincerely, 

“ Mortimer Paget.” 

Wyndham put the letter into his pocket, flew to keep 
his appointment with his pupil, and at two o’clock precisely 
was inquiring for Mr. Paget at the offices of the shipping 
firm in Billiter-square. 

Mortimer Paget was now head of the large establishment. 
He was the sole surviving partner out of many, and on him 
alone devolved the carrying out of one of the largest 
business concerns in the city. 

Wyndham never felt smaller than when he entered those 
great doors, and found himself passed on from one clerk 
to another, until at last he was admitted to the ante-room 
of the chief himself. 

Here there was a hush and stillness, and the young man 
sank down into one of the easy chairs, and looked around 
him expectantly. He was in the ante-chamber of one of 
the great kings of commerce, the depressing influence of 
wealth when we have no share in it came over him. He 
longed to turn and fly, and but that his fingers, even now, 
fiddled with Mr. Paget’s very pressing note he would have 
done so. What could the great man possibly want with 
him ? With his secret in his breast, with the knowledge 
that he, a poor young expectant curate, had dared to lift 
up his eyes to the only daughter of this great house, he 
could not but feel ill at ease. 

When Wyndham was not at home with any one he in- 
stantly lost his charm. He was painfully conscious of this 
himself, and felt sure that he would be on stilts while he ate 
his lunch with Mr. Paget. Nay more, he was almost sure 
that that astute personage would read his secret in his eyes. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


33 


A clerk came into the room, an elderly man, with red- 
dish whiskers, small, deep-set eyes, and thin hair rapidly 
turning white. He stared inquisitively at young Wyndham, 
walked past him, drew up the blinds, arranged some papers 
on the table, and then as he passed him again said in a quick, 
half-frightened aside : 

“ If I was you, young man, I’d go.” 

The tone in which this was said was both anxious and 
familiar. Wyndham started aside from the familiarity. 
His face flushed and he gazed haughtily at the speaker. 

“ Did you address me ? ” he said. 

“ I did, young man, don’t say nothing, for the good 
Lord’s sake, don’t say nothing. My name is Jonathan 
Helps. I have been here man and boy for close on forty 
years. I know the old house. Sound ! no house in the 
whole city sounder, sound as a nut, or as an apple when 
it's rotten at the core. You keep that to yourself, young 
man — why I’d venture every penny I have in this yer es- 
tablishment. I’m confidential clerk here ! I’am a rough 
sort — and not what you’d expect from a big house, nor 
from a master like Mr. Paget. Now, young man, you go 
away, and believe that there ain’t a sounder house in all the 
city than that of Paget, Brake and Carter. I, Jonathan 
Helps, say it, and surely I ought to know.” 

An electric bell sounded in the other room. Wiping his 
brow with his handkerchief as though the queer words he 
had uttered had cost him an effort, Helps flew to answer 
the summons. 

“ Ask Mr. Wyndham to walk in and have lunch served 
in my room,” said an authoritative voice. “ And see here, 
Helps, you are not to disturb us on any excuse before 
three o’clock.” 

Shutting the door behind him, Helps came back again 
to Gerald’s side. 

“ If you don’t want to run away at once you’re to go in 

3 


34 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


there,” he said. “ Remember, there isn’t a sounder house 
in all London than that of Paget, Brake and Carter. 
Paget’s head of the whole concern now. Don’t he boss 
it over us though ! Oh, you’re going in ? — you’ve made 
up your mind not to run away. Surely in vain is the net 
spread in the sight of any bird. Good Lord, if that ain’t 
the least true word that David ever writ. Well, here you 
are. Don’t forget that this house is sound — sound as an 
apple when it is — Mr. Wyndham, sir.” 

“You seem to have got a very extraordinary clerk,” 
said Gerald, when he had shaken hands with his host, who 
had expressed himself delighted to see him. 

“ Helps ? ” responded Mr. Paget. “ Yes, poor fellow — 
has he been entertaining you — telling you about the sound- 
ness of the house, eh ? Poor Helps — the best fellow in the 
world, but just a little — a very little — touched in the head.” 

“ So I should think,” said Gerald, laughing ; u he com- 
pared me to a bird in the fowler’s net, and all kinds of 
ridiculous similes. What a snug room you have here.” 

“ I am glad you think it so. I have a still snugger 
room at the other side of this curtain, which I hope to 
introduce to you. Come along and see it. This was fur- 
nished at Val’s suggestion. She comes here to have lunch 
with me once a week. Friday is her day. Will you come 
and join us here next Friday at two o’clock? ” 

“ I — I shall be delighted,” stammered Wyndham. 

“ She has good taste, hasn’t she, little puss ? All these 
arrangements are hers. I never saw any one with a better 
eye for color, and she has that true sympathy with her 
surroundings which teaches her to adapt rooms to their 
circumstances. Now, for instance, at Queen’s Gate we 
are all cool greys and blues — plenty of sunshine comes 
into the house at Queen’s Gate. Into this room the sun 
never shows his face. Val accordingly substitutes for his 
brightness golden tones and warm colors. Artistic, is it 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


35 


not ? She is very proud of the remark which invariably 
falls from the lips of each person who visits this sanctum 
sanctorum, that it does not look the least like an office.” 

“ Nor does it,” responded Gerald. “ It is a lovely 
room. What a beautiful portrait that is of your daughter 
— how well those warm greys suit her complexion.” 

“ Yes, that is Richmond’s, he painted her two years ago. 
Sit down at this side of the table, Wyndham, where you 
can have a good view of the saucy puss. Does she not 
look alive, as if she meant to say something very imperti- 
nent to us both. Thanks, Helps, you can leave us now. 
Pray see that we are not disturbed.” 

Helps withdrew with noiseless slippered feet. A cur- 
tain was drawn in front of the door, which the clerk closed 
softly after him. 

“ Excellent fellow, Helps,” said Mr. Paget, “ but mor- 
tal, decidedly mortal. If you will excuse me, Wyndham, 
I will take the precaution of turning the key in that door. 
This little room, Val’s room, I call it, has often been privi- 
leged to listen to state secrets. That being the case one 
must take due precautions against eaves-droppers. Now, 
my dear fellow, I hope you are hungry. Help yourself to 
some of those cutlets — I can recommend this champagne. ’» 

The lunch proceeded, the elder man eating with real 
appetite, the younger with effort. He was excited, his 
mind was full of trouble — he avoided looking at Valentine’s 
picture, and wished himself at the other side of those 
locked doors. 

“ You don’t seem quite the thing,” said Mr. Paget, 
presently. “ I hope you have had no trouble at home, 
Wyndham. Is your father well ? Let me see, he must be 
about my age — we were at Trinity College, Cambridge, 
some time in the forties.” 

“ My father is very well, sir,” said Gerald, “ He is a 
hale man, he does not look his years.” 


3 ^ 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


11 Have some more champagne ? I think you told me 
you had several sisters.” 

“ Yes, there are seven girls at home.” 

“ Good heavens — Wyndham is a lucky man. Fancy 
seven Valentines filling a house with mirth ! And you are 
the only son — and your mother is dead.” 

“ My mother is not living,” responded Wyndham with a 
flush. “ And — yes, I am the only son. I won’t have any 
more champagne, thank you, sir.” 

“ Try one of these cigars — I can recommend them. 
Wyndham, I am going to say something very frank. I 
have taken a fancy to you. There, I don’t often take 
fancies. Why, what is the matter, my dear fellow? ” 

Gerald had suddenly risen to his feet, his face was 
white. There was a strained, eager, pained look in his 
eyes. 

“ You wouldn’t, if you knew,” he stammered. “ I — I 
have made a fool of myself, sir. I oughtn’t to be sitting 
here, your hospitality chokes me. I — I have made the 
greatest fool of myself in all Christendom, sir.” 

“ I think I know what you mean,” said Mr. Paget, also 
rising to his feet. His voice was perfectly calm, quiet, 
friendly. 

“ I am not sorry you have let it out in this fashion, my 
poor lad. You have — shall I tell you that I know your 
secret, Wyndham ? ” 

“ No, sir; don’t let us talk of it. You cannot rate me 
for my folly more severely than I rate myself. I’ll go away 
now if you have no objection. Thank you for being kind 
to me. Try and forget that I made an ass of myself.” 

“ Sit down again, Wyndham. I am not angry — I don’t 
look upon you as a fool. I should have done just the 
same were I in your shoes. You are in love with Valen- 
tine — you would like to make her your wife.” 

“ Good heavens, sir, don’t let us say anything more 
about it.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


37 


“ Why not ? Under certain conditions I think you 
would make her a suitable husband. I guessed your secret 
some weeks ago. Since then I have been watching you 
carefully. I have also made private inquiries about you. 
All that I hear pleases me. I asked you to lunch with me, 
to-day, on purpose that we should talk the matter over.” 

Mr. Paget spoke in a calm, almost drawling, voice. The 
young man opposite to him, his face deadly white, his 
hands nervously clutching at a paper-knife, his burning 
eyes fixed upon the older man’s face, drank in every word. 
It was an intoxicating draught, going straight to Gerald 
Wyndham’s brain. 

“ God bless you ! ” he said, when the other had ceased 
to speak. He turned his head away, for absolute tears of 
joy had softened the burning feverish light in his eyes. 

“ No, don’t say that, Wyndham,” responded Mr. Paget, 
his own voice for the first time a little shaken. “ We’ll 
leave God altogether out of this business, if you have no 
objection. It is simply a question of how much a man 
will give lip for love. Will he sell himself, body and soul, 
for it ? That is the question of questions. I know all 
about you, Wyndham ; I know that you have not a penny to 
bless yourself with ; I know that you are about to embrace 
a beggarly profession. Oh, yes, we’ll leave out the reli- 
gious aspect of the question. A curacy in the Church of 
England is a beggarly profession in these days. I know 
too that you are your father’s only son, and that you have 
seven sisters, who will one day look to you to protect them. 
I know all that ; nevertheless I believe you to be the kind 
of man who will dare all for love. If you win Valentine, 
you have got to pay a price for her. It is a heavy one — 
I won’t tell you about it yet. When you agree to pay 
this price, for the sake of a brief joy for yourself, for 
necessarily it must be brief ; and for her life-long good 
and well-being, then you rise to be her equal in every 




A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


sense of the word, and you earn my undying gratitude, 
Wyndham.” 

“ I don’t understand you, sir. You speak very darkly, 
and you hint at things which — which shock me.” 

“I must shock you more before you hold Valentine in 
your arms. You have heard enough for to-day. Hark, 
someone is knocking at the door.” 

Mr. Paget rose to open it, a gay voice sounded in the 
passage, and the next moment a brilliant, lovely apparition 
entered the room, 

“ Val herself! ” exclaimed her father. “ No, my darling, 
I cannot go for a drive with you just now, but you and 
Mrs. Johnston shall take Wyndham. You will like a drive 
in the park, Wyndham. You have got to scold this young 
man, Val, for acting truant on Saturday night. Now go 
off, both of you, I am frightfully busy. Yes, Helps, com- 
ing, coming. Valentine, be sure you ask Mr. Wyndham 
home to tea. If you can induce him to dine, so much the 
better, and afterwards we can go to the play together.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


39 


CHAPTER VII. 

On a certain evening about ten days after the events re- 
lated in the last chapter, Valentine Paget and her father 
were seated together in the old library. Good-natured 
Mrs. Johnstone had popped in her head at the door, but 
seeing the girl’s face bent over a book, and Mr. Paget ap- 
parently absorbed in the advertisement sheet of the Times, 
she had discreetly withdrawn. 

“ They look very snug,” soliloquized the widowed and 
childless woman with a sigh. “ I wonder what Mortimer 
Paget will do when that poor handsome Mr. Wyndham 
proposes for Val ? I never saw anyone so far gone. Even 
my poor Geoffrey long ago, who said his passion consumed 
him to tatters — yes, these were poor dear Geoffrey’s very 
words — was nothing to Mr. Wyndham. Val is a desper- 
ately saucy girl — does not she see that she is breaking that 
poor fellow’s heart ? Such a nice young fellow, too. He 
looks exactly the sort of young man who would commit 
suicide. Dear me, what is the world coming to ? That 
girl seems not in the very least troubled about the matter. 
How indifferent and easy-going she is ! I know / could 
not calmly sit and read a novel when I knew that I was 
consuming the vitals out of poor dear Geoffrey. But it’s 
all one to Val. I am very much afraid that girl is develop- 
ing into a regular flirt. How she did go on and amuse 
herself with Mr. Carr at the cricket match to-day Adrian 
Carr has a stronger face than poor young Wyndham — not 
half as devoted to Val — I doubt if he even admires her, 
and yet how white Gerald Wyndham turned when he 
walked her off across the field. Poor Val — it is a great 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


40 

pity Mr. Paget spoils her so dreadfully. It is plain to be 
seen she has never had the advantage of a mother’s bring- 
ing up.” 

Mrs. Johnstone entered the beautifully-furnished draw- 
ing-room, seated herself by the open window, and taking 
up the third volume of a novel, soon forgot Valentine’s 
love affairs. 

Meanwhile that young lady with her cheeks pressed on 
her hands, and her eyes devouring the final pages of “ Jane 
Eyre,” gave no thought to any uncomfortable combina- 
tions. Her present life was so full and happy that she did 
not, like most girls, look far ahead — she never indulged in 
day-dreams, and had an angel come to her with the pro- 
mise of any golden boon she liked to ask for, she would 
have begged of him to leave her always as happy as she 
was now. 

She came to the last page of her book, and, drumming 
with her little fingers on the cover, she raised her eyes in 
a half-dreaming fashion. 

Mr. Paget had dropped his sheet of the Times — his hand 
had fallen back in the old leathern arm-chair — his eyes were 
closed — he was fast asleep. 

In his sleep this astute and careful and keen man of 
business dropped his mask — the smiling smooth face 
showed wrinkles, the gay expression was succeeded by a 
care worn look — lines of sadness were about the mouth, and 
deep crow’s-feet wrinkled and aged the expression round the 
eyes. 

The mantle of care had never yet touched Valentine. 
For the first time in all her life a pang of keen mental pain 
went through her as she gazed at her sleeping father. For 
the first time in her young existence the awful possibility 
stared her in the face that some time she might have to live 
in a cold and dreary world without him. 

“ Why, my father looks quite old,” she half stammered. 
“ Old, and — yes, unhappy. What does it mean? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


4i 


She rose very gently, moved her chair until it touched 
his, and then nestling up close to him laid her soft little 
hand on his shoulder. 

Paget slept on, and the immediate contact of Valentine’s 
warm, loving presence, made itself felt in his dreams — his 
wrinkles disappeared, and his handsome lips again half 
smiled. Val laid her hand on his — she noticed the altered 
expression, and her slightly roused fears slumbered. There 
was no one to her like her father. She had made a mistake 
just then in imagining that he looked old and unhappy. 
No people in all the world were happier than he and she. 
He was not old — he was the personification in her eyes of 
all that was manly and strong and beautiful. 

The tired man slept on, and the girl, all her fears at rest, 
began idly to review the events of the past day. There 
had been gay doings during that long summer’s afternoon, 
and Valentine, in the prettiest of summer costumes, had 
thoroughly enjoyed her life. She had spent some hours at 
Lords, and had entered with zest into the interest of the 
Oxford and Cambridge Cricket Match. She lay back in 
her chair now with her eyes half closed, reviewing in a lazy 
fashion the events of the bygone hours. A stalwart and 
very attractive young man in cricketing flannels mingled 
in these dreams. He spoke to her with strength and 
decision. His dark eyes looked keenly into her face, he 
never expressed the smallest admiration for her either by 
look or gesture, but at the same time he had a way of 
taking possession of her which roused her interest, and 
which secured her approbation. She laughed softly to 
herself now at some of the idle nothings said to her by 
Adrian Carr, and she never once gave a thought to Wynd- 
ham, who had also been at Lords. 


4 * 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER VIII. 

“ Val, child, what are you humming under your breath ? ” 
said her father, suddenly rousing himself from his slumbers 
and looking into his daughter’s pretty face. “Your voice 
is like that of a bird, my darling. I think it has gained in 
sweetness a good deal lately. Have you and Wyndham 
been practising much together. Wyndham has one of the 
purest tenor voices I ever heard in an amateur.” 

“ Oh, what a worry Mr. Wyndham is,” said Valentine, 
rising from her seat and shaking out her muslin dress. 
“ Everybody talks to me of his perfections. I’m perfectly 
tired of them. I wish he wouldn’t come here so often. 
No, I was not thinking of any of his songs. I was hum- 
ming some words Mr. Carr sings — ‘ Bid me to Live ’ — you 
know the words — I like Mr. Carr so much — don’t you, 
dad, dear ? ” 

“ Adrian Carr — yes,” replied Mr. Paget in a slow delibe- 
rate voice. “ Yes, a good sort of fellow, I’ve no' doubt. I 
heard some gossip about him at my club yesterday — what 
was it? Oh, that he was engaged, or about to be engaged, 
to Lady Mabel Pennant. You know the Pennants, don’t 
you, Val? Have you seen Lady Mabel ? She is one of 
the youngest, I think.” 

“Yes, she’s a fright,” responded Valentine, with a decided 
show of temper in her voice. 

Her face had flushed too, she could not tell why. 

“ I did not know Lady Mabel was such a plain girl,” 
responded Mr. Paget drily. “ At any rate it is a good con- 
nection for Carr. He seems a fairly clever fellow. Valen- 
tine, my child, I have something of importance to talk to 
you about. Don’t let us worry about Carr just now — I have 


A life for a love. 


43 


something to say to you, something that I’m troubled to 
have to say. You love your old father very much, don’t 
you, darling ? ” 

“ Love you, daddy ! Oh, you know — need you ask ? 
I was frightened about you a few minutes ago, father. 
When you were asleep just now, your face looked old, and 
there were lines about it. It frightens me to think of you 
ever growing old.” 

“ Sit close to me, my dear daughter. I have a great deal 
to say. We will leave the subject of my looks just at 
present. It is true that I am not young, but I may have 
many years before me yet. It greatly depends on you.” 

“ On me, father ? ” 

“ Yes. I will explain to you by-and-bye. Now I want 
to talk about yourself. You have never had a care all your 
life, have you, my little Val ? ” 

“ I don’t think so, daddy — at least only pin-pricks. You 
know I used to hate my spelling lessons long ago, and 
Mdlle. Lacount used to worry me over the French irregular 
verbs. But such things were only pin-pricks. Yes, I am 
seventeen, and I have never had a real care all my life.” 

“ You are seventeen and four months, Valentine. You 
were born on the 14th of February, and your mother and 
I called you after St. Valentine. Your mother died when 
you were a week old. I promised her then that her baby 
should never know a sorrow if I could help it.” 

“ You have helped it, daddy ; I am as happy as the day 
is long. I don’t wish for a thing in the wide world. I just 
want us both to live together as we are doing now. Of 
course we will — why not ? Shall we go up to the drawing- 
room now, father ? ” 

“ My dear child, in a little time. I have not said yet 
what I want to say. Valentine, you were quite right when 
you watched my face as I slumbered. Child, I have got a 
care upon me. I can’t speak of it to anybody — only it 


44 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


could crush me — and — and — part us, Valentine. If it fell 
upon you, it — it — would crush you, my child.” 

Mr. Paget rose. Valentine, deadly white and frightened, 
clung to him. She was half crying. The effect of such 
terrible and sudden words nearly paralyzed her ; but when 
she felt the arm which her father put round her tremble, 
she made a valiant and brave effort — the tears which filled 
her brown eyes were arrested, and she looked up with cour- 
age in her face. 

“ You speak of my doing something,” she whispered. 
“What is it? Tell me. Nothing shall part us. I don’t 
mind anything else, but nothing shall ever part us.” 

“ Val, I have not spoken of this care to any one but 
you.” 

“ No, father.” 

“ And I don’t show it in my face as a rule, do I ? ” 

“ Oh, no ! Oh, no ! You always seem bright and cheer- 
ful.” 

Her tears were raining fast now. She took his hand and 
pressed it to her lips. 

“ But I have had this trouble for some time, my little 
girl.” 

“ You will tell me all about it, please, dad ? ” 

“ No, my darling, you would not understand, and my 
keenest pain would be that you should ever know. You 
can remove this trouble, little Val, and then we need not 
be parted. Now, sit down by my side.” 

Mr. Paget sank again into the leathern armchair. He 
was still trembling visibly. This moment through which 
he was passing was one of the most bitter of his life.” 

“ You will not breathe a word of what I have told you 
to any mortal, Valentine ? ” 

“ Death itself should not drag it from me,” replied the 
girl. 

She set her lips, her eyes shone fiercely. Then she looked 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


45 

at her trembling father, and they glowed with love and 
pity. 

“ I can save you,” she whispered, going on her knees 
by his side. “ It is lovely to think of saving you. What 
can I do ? ” 

“ My little Val — my little precious darling ! ” 

“ What can I do to save you, father ? ” 

“ Valentine, dear — you can marry Gerald Wyndham.” 

Valentine had put her arms round her father’s neck, now 
they dropped slowly away — her eyes grew big and 
frightened. 

“ I don’t love him,” she whispered. 

“ Never mind, he loves you — he is a good fellow — he 
will treat you well. If you marry him you need not be 
parted from me. You and he can live together here — 
here, in this house. There need be no difference at all, 
except that you will have saved your father.” 

Paget spoke with outward calmness, but the anxiety 
under his words made them thrill. Each slowly uttered 
sentence fell like a hammer of pain on the girl’s head. 

“ I don’t understand,” she said again in a husky tone. 
“ I would, I will do anything to save you. But Mr. Wynd- 
ham is poor and young — in some things he is younger than 
I am. How can my marrying him take the load off your 
heart, father? Father, dear, speak.” 

11 1 can give you no reason, Valentine, you must take it 
on trust. It is all a question of your faith in me. I do not 
see any loophole of salvation but through you, my little 
girl. If you marry Wyndham I see peace and rest ahead, 
otherwise we are amongst the breakers. If you do this 
thing for your old father, Valentine, you will have to do it 
in the dark, for never, never, I pray, until Eternity comes, 
must you know what you have done.” 

Valentine Paget had always a delicate and bright color 
in her cheeks. It was soft as the innermost blush of a rose, 


46 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE t 


and this delicate and lovely color was one of her chief 
charms. Now it faded, leaving her young face pinched 
and small and drawn. She sank down on the hearthrug, 
clasping her hands in her lap, her eyes looking straight 
before her. 

“ I never wanted to marry,” she said at last. “ Certainly 
not yet, for I am only a child. I am only seventeen, but 
other girls of seventeen are old compared to me. When you 
are only a child, it is dreadful to marry some one you don’t 
care about, and it is dreadful to do a deed in the dark. If you 
trusted me, father — if you told me all the dreadful truth 
whatever it is, it might turn me into a woman — an old 
woman even — but it would be less bad than this. This 
seems to crush me — and oh, it does frighten me so dread- 
fully.” 

Mr. Paget rose from his seat and walked up and down 
the room. 

“ You shan’t be crushed or frightened,” he said. “ I 
will give it up.” 

“ And then the blow will fall on you ? ” 

“ I may be able to avert it. I will see. Forget what I 
said to-night, little girl.” # 

Mortimer Paget’s face just now was a good deal whiter 
than his daughter’s, but there was a new light in his eyes 
— a momentary gleam of nobility. 

“ I won’t crush you, Val,” he said, and he meant his 
words. 

“And / won’t crush you,” said the girl. 

She went up to his side, and, taking his hand, slipped his 
arm round her neck. 

“ We will live together, and I will have perfect faith in 
you, and I’ll marry Mr. Wyndham. He is good — oh, yes, 
he is good and kind ; and if he did not love me so much, if 
he did not frighten me with just being too loving when I 
don’t care at all, I might get on very well with him. Now 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


47 


dismiss your cares, father. If this can save you, your little 
Yal has done it. Let us come up to the drawing-room. 
Mrs. Johnstone must think herself forsaken. Shall I sing 
to you to-night, daddy, some of the old-fashioned songs ? 
Come, you have got to smile and look cheerful for Val’s 
sake. If I give myself up for you, you must do as much 
for me. Come, a smile if you please, sir. ‘ Begone, dull 
care.’ You and I will never agree.” 


48 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER IX. 

It was soon after this that Valentine Paget’s world became 
electrified with the news of her engagement. Wyndham 
was congratulated on all sides, and those people who had 
hitherto not taken the slightest notice of a rather boyish 
and unpretentious young man, now found much to say in 
his favor. 

Yes, he was undoubtedly good-looking — a remarkable 
face, full of interest — he must be clever too — he looked it. 
And then as to his youth — why was it that people a couple 
of months ago had considered him a lad, a boy — why, he 
was absolutely old for his two-and-twenty years. A grave 
thoughtful man with a wonderfully sweet expression. 

* It was plain to be seen that Wyndham, the expectant 
curate of Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, and Wyndham, the pro- 
mised husband of Valentine Paget, were totally different 
individuals. Wyndham’s prospects were changed, so was 
his appearance — so, in very truth, was the man himself. 

Where he had been too young he was now almost too 
old, that was the principal thing outsiders noticed. But 
at twenty-two one can afford such a change, and his gravity, 
his seriousness, and a certain proud thoughtful look, which 
could not be classified by any one as a sad look, was vastly 
becoming to Wyndham. 

His future father-in-law could not make enough of him, 
and even Valentine caught herself looking at him with a 
shy pride which was not very far removed from affection. 

Wyndham had given up the promised curacy — this was 
one of Mr. Paget’s most stringent conditions. On the day 
he married Valentine he was to enter the great shipping 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


49 


firm of Paget, Brake and Carter as a junior partner, and in 
the interim he went there daily to become acquainted — the 
world said — with the ins and outs of his new profession. 

It was all a great step in the direction of fortune and 
fame, and ]the Rectory people ought, of course, to have 
rejoiced. 

They were curious and unworldly, however, at Jewsbury- 
on- the- Wold, and somehow the news of the great match 
Gerald was about to contract brought them only sorrow and 
distress. Lilias alone stood out against the storm of woe 
which greeted the receipt of Wyndham’s last letter. 

“ It is a real trouble,” she said, her voice shaking a good 
deal ; “ but we have got to make the best of it. It is for 
Gerald’s happiness. It is selfish for us just to fret because 
we cannot always have him by our side.” 

“ There’ll be no millennium,” said Augusta in a savage 
voice. “ I might have guessed it. That horrid selfish, selfish 
girl has got the whole of our Gerald. I suppose he’ll make 
her happy, nasty, spiteful thing ; but she has wrecked the 
happiness of seven other girls — horrid creature ! I might 
have known there was never going to be a millennium. 
Where are the dogs ? Let me set them fighting. Get out of 
that, madame puss — you and Rover and Drake will quar- 
rel now to the end of the chapter, for Gerald is never 
coming home to live.” 

Augusta’s sentiments were warmly shared by the younger 
girls, and to a great extent she even secured the sympathy 
ofMarjory and the rector. 

“ I don’t understand you, Lilias,” said her pet sister. “ I 
thought you would have been the worst of us all.” 

“ Oh, don’t,” said Lilias, tears springing to her eyes. 
“ Don’t you see, Marjory, that I really feel the worst, so I 
must keep it all in ? Don’t let us talk it over, it is useless. 
If Valentine makes Gerald happy I have not a word to say, 
and if I am not glad I must pretend to be glad for his sake.” 

4 


5 ° 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ Poor old Lil ! ” said Marjory. 

And after this little speech she teased her sister no 
more. 

A fortnight after his engagement Gerald came to the rec- 
tory for a brief visit. He was apparently in high spirits, 
and never made himself more agreeable to his sisters. He 
had no confidential talks, however, with Lilly, and they all 
noticed how grave and quiet and handsome he had grown. 

“ He’s exactly like my idea of the god Apollo,” remarked 
Augusta. u No wonder that girl is in love with him. Oh, 
couldn’t I just pull her hair for her. I can’t think how 
Lilly sits by and hears Gerald praise her ! I’d like to give 
her a piece of my mind, and tell her what I think of her 
carrying off our ewe-lamb. Yes, she’s just like David in 
the Bible, and I only wish I were the prophet Nathan, to 
go and have it out with her ! ” 

Augusta was evidently mixed in her metaphors, for it 
was undoubtedly difficult to compare the same person to 
Apollo and a ewe-lamb. Nevertheless, she carried her 
audience with her, and when now and then Gerald spoke of 
Valentine he received but scant sympathy. 

On the day he went away, the rector called Lilias into 
his study. 

“ My dear,” he said, “ I want to have a little - talk with 
you. What do you think of all this ? Has Gerald made 
you many confidences ? You and he were always great 
chums. He was reserved with me, remarkably so, for he 
was always such an open sort of a lad. But of course you 
and he had it all out, my dear.” 

“ No, father,” replied Lilias. “ That is just it. We hadn’t 
anything out.” 

“ What — eh — nothing ? And the boy is in love. Oh, 
yes, anyone can see that — in love, and no confidences. 
Then, my dear, I was afraid of it — now I am sure — there 
must be something wrong. Gerald is greatly changed, 
Lilias.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


5i 


“ Yes,” said Lilias. “ I can’t quite define the change, 
but it is there.” 

“ My dear girl, he was a boy — now he is a man. I don’t 
say that he is unhappy, but he has a good weight of respon- 
sibility on his shoulders. He was a rather heedless boy, 
and in the matter of concealment or keeping anything back, 
a perfect sieve. Now he’s a closed book. Closed ? — 
locked I should say. Lilias, neither you nor I can under- 
stand him. I wish to God your mother was alive ! ” 

“ He told me,” said Lilias, “ that he had talked over 
matters with you — that — that there was nothing much to 
say — that he was perfectly satisfied, and that Valentine was 
like no other girl in the wide world. To all intents and 
purposes Gerald was a sealed book to me, father ; but I 
don’t understand your considering him so, for he said that 
he had spoken to you very openly.” 

“ Oh, about the arrangements between him and Paget. 
Yes, I consider it a most unprecedented and extraordinary 
sort of thing. Gerald gives up the Church, goes into Paget’s 
business — early next summer marries his daughter, and on 
the day of his wedding signs the deeds of partnership. He 
receives no salary — not so much as sixpence— but he and 
his wife take up their abode at the Pagets’ house in Queen’s 
Gate, Paget making himself responsible for all expenses. 
Gerald, in lieu of providing his wife with a fortune, makes 
a marriage settlement on her, and for this purpose is re- 
quired to insure his life very heavily — for thousands, I am 
told — but the exact sum is not yet clearly defined. Paget 
undertakes to provide for the insurance premium. I call 
the whole thing unpleasant and derogatory, and I cannot 
imagine how the lad has consented. Liberty ? What will 
he know of liberty when he is that rich fellow’s slave ? 
Better love in a cottage, with a hundred a year, say I.” 

“ But, father, Mr. Paget would not have given Val to 
Gerald to Jive in a cottage with her — and Gerald, he has 


52 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


consented to this — this that you call degradation, because 
he love’s Val so very, very much.” 

u I suppose so, child. I was in love once myself — your 
mother was the noblest and most beautiful of women ; that 
lad is the image of her. Well, so he never confided in you, 
Lil ? Very strange, I call it very strange. I tell you what, 
Lilias, I’ll run up to town next week, and have a talk with 
Paget, and see what sort of girl this is who has bewitched 
the boy. That’s the best way. I’ll have a talk with Paget, 
and get to the bottom of things. I used to know him long 
ago at Trinity. Now run away, child. I must prepare my 
sermon for to-morrow.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


53 


CHAPTER X. 

At this period of her life Valentine was certainly not in 
the least in love with the man to whom she was engaged — 
she disliked caresses and what she was pleased to call 
honeyed words of flattery. Wyndham, who found himself 
able to read her moods like a book, soon learned to ac- 
commodate himself to her wishes. He came to see her 
daily, but he kissed her seldom — he never took her hand, 
nor put his arm round her slim waist ; they sat together 
and talked, and soon discovered that they had many sub- 
jects of interest in common — they both loved music, they 
both adored novels and poetry. Wyndham could read 
aloud beautifully, and at these times Valentine liked to lie 
back in her easy chair and steal shy glances at him, and 
wonder, as she never ceased to wonder, from morning to 
night, why he loved her so much, and why her father 
wanted her to marry him. 

If Valentine was cold to this young man, she was, how- 
ever, quite the opposite to the rector of Jewsbury-on-the- 
Wold. Mr. Wyndham came to town, and of course par- 
took of the hospitality of the house in Queen’s Gate. In 
Valentine’s eyes the rector was old, older than her father — 
she delighted for her father’s sake in all old men, and being 
really a very loveable and fascinating girl soon won the 
rector’s heart. 

“ I’m not a bit surprised, Gerald,” the good man said to 
his son on the day of his return to his parish duties. 
“ She’s a wilful lass, and has a spirit of her own, but she’s 
a good girl, too, and a sweet, and a young fellow might do 
worse than lose his heart to her. Valentine is open as the 


54 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


day, and when she comes to me as a daughter, I’ll give 
her a daughter’s place in my heart. Yes, Valentine is all 
right enough, and I’ll tell Lilias so, and put her heart at rest, 
poor girl, but I’m not so sure about Paget. I think you 
are putting yourself in a very invidious position, if you 
will allow me to say so, my boy, coming into Paget’s 
house as a sort of dependent, even though you are his girl’s 
husband. I don’t like the sound of it, and you won’t care 
for the position, Gerald, when you’ve experienced it for a 
short time. However — oh, there’s my train — yes, porter, 
yes, two bugs and a rag — I mean two bags and a rug — 
Here, this way, this way. Dear, dear, how confused one 
gets! Yes, Gerald, what was I saying? Oh, of course 
you’re of age, my boy, you are at liberty to choose for 
yourself. Yes, I like the girl thoroughly. God bless you, 
Gerry ; come down to the old place whenever you have a 
spare Saturday.” 

The younger Wyndham smiled in a very grave fashion, 
saw to his father’s creature comforts, as regarded wraps, 
newspapers, etc., tipped the porter, who had not yet done 
laughing at the reverend gentleman’s mistake, and left the 
station. 

He hailed a cab and drove at once to his future father- 
in-law’s business address. He was quite at home now in 
the big shipping office, the several clerks regarding him 
with mixed feelings of respect and envy. Gerald had a 
gracious way with everyone, he was never distant with his 
fellow-creatures, but there was also a slight indescribable 
touch about him which kept those who were beneath him 
in the social scale from showing the smallest trace of 
familiarity. He was sympathetic, but he had a knack of 
making those who came in contact with him treat him as a 
gentleman. The clerks liked Wyndham, and with one ex- 
ception were extremely civil to him. Helps alone held 
himself aloof from the new-comer, watching him far more 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE, 


55 


anxiously than the other clerks did, but, nevertheless, keep- 
ing his own counsel, and daring whenever he had the 
opportunity to use covert words of warning. 

On his arrival, to-day, Wyndham sent a message to the 
chief, asking to see him as soon as convenient. While he 
waited in the ante-room, for in reality he had little or 
nothing to do in the place, the door was opened to admit 
another visitor, and then Adrian Carr, the young man whom 
Valentine had once spoken of with admiration, stepped 
across the threshold. The two young men were slightly 
acquainted, and while they waited they chatted together. 

Carr was a great contrast to Wyndham — he was rather 
short, but thin and wiry, without an atom of superfluous 
flesh anywhere — his shoulders were broad, he was firmly 
knit and had a very erect carriage. Wyndham, tall, loosely 
built, with the suspicion of a stoop, looked frail beside the 
other man. Wyndham’s dark grey eyes were too sensitive 
for perfect mental health. His face was pallid, but at times 
it would flush vividly — his lips had a look of repression 
about them — the whole attitude of the man to a very keen 
observer was tense and watchful. 

Carr had dark eyes, closely cropped hair, a smooth face 
but for his moustache, and a keen, resolute, bold glance. 
He was not nearly as handsome as Wyndham, beside Wynd- 
ham he might even have been considered commonplace, 
but his every gesture, his every glance betokened the per- 
fection of mental health and physical vigor. 

After a few desultory nothings had been exchanged be- 
tween the two, Carr alluded to Wyndham’s engagement, 
and offered him his congratulations. He did this with a 
certain guardedness of tone which caused Gerald to look 
at him keenly. 

“ Thank you — yes, I am very lucky,” he replied. “ But 
can we not exchange good wishes, Carr ? I heard a 
rumor somewhere, that you also were about to be mar- 
ried.” 


56 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Carr laughed. 

“ These rumors are always getting about/’ he said, “ half 
of them end in smoke. In my case you yourself destroyed 
the ghost of the chance of such a possibility coming 
about.” 

“ I ? What do you mean ? ” said Wyndham. 

“ Nothing of the least consequence. As matters have 
turned out I am perfectly heart-whole, but the fact is, the 
only girl I ever took the slightest fancy to is going to be 
your wife. Oh, I am not in love with her ! You stopped 
me in time. I really only tell you this to show you how 
much I appreciate the excellence of your taste.” 

Wyndham did not utter a word, and just then Helps 
came to say that Mr. Paget would see Mr. Carr for a few 
moments. Carr instantly left the room, and Wyndham 
went over to the dusty window, leant his elbow against one 
of the panes, and peered out. 

Apparently there was nothing for him to see — the win- 
dow looked into a tiny square yard, in the centre of which 
was a table, which contained a dish of empty peapods, and 
two cabbages in a large basin of cold water. Not a soul 
was in the yard, and Wyndham staring out ought in the 
usual order of things soon to have grown weary of the 
objects of his scrutiny. Far from that, his fixed gaze 
seemed to see something of peculiar and intense interest. 
When he turned away at last, his face was ghastly white, 
and taking out his handkerchief he wiped some drops of 
moisture from his forehead. 

“ My master will see you now, sir,” said Helps, in a 
quiet voice. He had been watching Wyndham all the 
time, and now he looked up at him with a queer significant 
glance of sympathy. 

“ Oh, ain’t you a fool, young man ? ” he said. “ Why, 
nothing ain’t worth what you’re a-gwine through. 

“ Is Carr gone ? ” asked Wyndham. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


57 


i( Oh yes, sir, he’s a gent as knows what he’s after. No 
putting his foot into holes with him. He knows what 
ground he’ll walk on. Come along, sir, here you are.” 

Helps always showed Wyndham into the chief s presence 
with great parade. Mr. Paget was in a genial humor. When 
he greeted the young man he actually laughed. 

“ Sit down, Gerald ; sit down, my dear boy. Now, you’ll 
never guess what our friend Adrian Carr came to see me 
about. ’Pon my word, it’s quite a joke — you’ll never guess 
it, Gerald.” 

“ I’m sure of that, sir. I never guessed a riddle in my 
life.” 

Something in the hopeless tone in which these few words 
were uttered made Mr. Paget cease smiling. He favored 
Gerald with a lightning glance, then said quietly : 

“ I suppose I ought not to have laughed, but somehow 
I never thought Carr would have taken to the job. He 
wants me to introduce him to your father, Gerald. He is 
anxious to be ordained for the curacy which you have 
missed. Fancy a man like Carr in the Church ! He says 
he never thought of such a profession until you put it into 
his head — now he is quite keen after it. Well, perhaps he 
will make an excellent clergyman — I rather fancy I should 
like to hear him preach.” 

“ If I were you,” said Gerald, “ I would refuse to give 
him that introduction.” 

“Refuse to give it him ! My dear boy, what do you 
mean? I am not quite such a churl. Why, I have given it 
him. I wrote a long letter to your excellent father, saying 
all sorts of nice things about Carr, and he has taken it 
away in his pocket. Her Majesty’s post has the charge of 
it by this time, I expect. What is the matter, Wyndham ? 
You look quite strange.” 

“ I feel it, sir — I don’t like this at all. Carr and I have 
got mixed somehow. He takes my curacy, and he confessed 


58 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


that but for me he’d have gone in for Val. Now you see 
what I mean. He oughtn’t to have the curacy.” 

Mr. Paget looked really puzzled. 

“ You are talking in a strange way, Gerald,” he said. “ If 
poor Carr was unfortunate enough to fall in love with a 
girl whom you have won, surely you don’t grudge him that 
poor little curacy too. My dear lad, you are getting posi- 
tively morbid. There, I don’t think I want you for any- 
thing special to day. Go home to Val — get her to cheer 
your low spirits.” 

“ She cannot,” replied Gerald. “ You don’t see, sir, 
because you won’t. Carr is not in love with Valentine, 
and Valentine is not in love with him, but they both might 
be. I have heard Val talk of him — once. I heard him 
speak of her — to day. By-and-bye, sir — in the future, they 
may meet. You know what I mean. Carj ought not to go to 
Jewsbury-on-the-Wold — it is wrong. I will not allow it. I 
will myself write to the rector. I will take the responsi- 
bility, whoever gets my old berth it must not be Adrian 
Carr.” 

Wyndham rose as he spoke — he looked determined, all 
trace of weakness or irresolution left his face. Paget had 
never before seen this young man in his present mood. 
Somehow the sight gave him intense pleasure. A latent 
fear which he had scarcely dared to whisper even to his 
own heart that Wyndham had not sufficient pluck for what 
lay before him vanished now. He too rose to his feet, and 
laid his hand almost caressingly on the lad’s shoulder. 

“ My boy, you have no cause to fear in this matter. In 
the future I myself will take care of Valentine, but I love 
you for your thoughtfulness, Gerald.” 

“ You need not, sir. I have something on my mind which 
I must say now. I have entered into your scheme. I 
have ” 

“ Yes, yes — let me shut and lock the door, my boy.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


59 

Wyndham, arrested in his speech, drew one or two heavy 
breaths. 

He spoke again in a sort of panting way. His eyes grew 
bright and almost wild. 

“ I have promised you,” he continued. “ I’ll go through 
with it. It’s a million times worse fate for me than if I had 
killed someone, and then was hung up by the neck until I 
died. That, in comparison to this, would be — well, like 
the sting of a gnat. I’ll go through with it, however, and 
you need not be afraid that I’ll change my mind. I do it 
solely and entirely because I love your daughter, because 
I believe that the touch of dishonor would blight her, 
because unfortunately for herself she loves you better than 
any other soul in the world. If she did not, if she gave 
me even half of the great heart which she bestows upon 
you, then I would risk all, and feel sure that dishonor and 
poverty with me would be better than honor and riches 
with you. You’re a happy man during these last six weeks, 
Mr. Paget. You have found your victim, and you see a 
way of salvation for yourself, and a prosperous future for 
Valentine. She won’t grieve long — oh, no, not long for 
the husband she never loved — but look here, you have to 
guard her against the possibility in the future of falling in 
love with another — of being won by another man, who will 
ask her to be his wife and the mother of his children. 
Though she does not love me, she must remain my widow 
all her days, for if she does not, if I hear that she, thinking 
herself free, is about to contract marriage with another, I 
will return — yes, I will return from the dead — from the 
grave, and say that it shall not be, and I will show all the 
world that you are — what you have proved yourself to be 
to me — a devil. That is all. I wanted to say this to you. 
Carr has given me the opportunity. I won’t see Val to- 
day, for I am upset — to-morrow I shall have regained my 
composure.” 


6o 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XI. 

Wyndham was engaged to Valentine Paget very nearly a 
year before their wedding. One of the young lady’s stipu- 
lations was that under no circumstances would she enter 
into the holy estate of matrimony before she was eighteen. 
Paget made no objection to this proviso on Val’s part. 
In these days he humored her slightest wish, and no hap- 
pier pair to all appearance could have been seen driving 
in the Park, or riding in the Row, than this handsome 
father and daughter. 

“ What a beautiful expression he has,” remarked many 
people. And when they said this to the daughter she 
smiled, and a sweet proud light came into her eyes. 

“ My father is a darling,” she would say. “ No one 
knows him as I do. I believe he is about the greatest and 
the best of men.” 

When Val made enthusiastic remarks of this kind, 
Wyndham looked at her sorrowfully. She was very fond 
of him by this time — he had learned to fit himself to her 
ways, to accommodate himself to her caprices, and 
although she frankly admitted that she could not for an 
instant compare him to her father, she always owned that 
she loved him next best, and that she thought it would be 
a very happy thing to be his wife. 

No girl could look sweeter than Val when she made little 
speeches of this kind, but they had always a queer effect 
upon her lover, causing him to experience an excitement 
which was scarcely joy, for nothing could have more fatally 
upset Mr. Paget’s plans than Valentine really to fall in love 
with Wyndham. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


61 


The wedding day was fixed for the first week in July, 
and Valentine was accompanied to the altar by no less than 
eight bridesmaids. It was a grand wedding — quite one of 
the events of the season, and those who saw it spoke of 
the bride as beautiful, and of the bridegroom as a grave, 
striking-looking man. 

If a man constantly practises self-repression there comes 
a time when, in this special art, he almost reaches per- 
fection. Wyndham had come to this stage, as even Lilias, 
who read her brother like a book, could see nothing amiss 
with him on his wedding day. All, therefore, went merrily 
on this auspicious occasion, and the bride and bridegroom 
started for the continent amid a shower of blessings and 
good wishes. 

“ Gerald, dear, I quite forgive you,” said Lilias, as at the 
very last minute she put her arms round her brother’s 
neck. 

“ What for, Lilly ? ” he asked, looking down at her. 

Then a shadow of great bitterness crossed the sunshine 
of his face. He stooped and kissed her forehead. 

“ You don’t know my sin, so you cannot forgive it, Lilly/’ 
he continued. 

“ Oh, my darling, I know you,” she said. “ I don’t 
think you could sin. I meant that I have learned already 
to love Valentine a little, and I am not surprised at your 
choice. I forgive you fully, Gerald, for loving another girl 
better than your sister Lilias. Good-bye, dear old Gerry. 
God bless you ! ” 

“ He won’t do that, Lilly — he can’t. Oh, forgive me, 
dear, I didn’t mean those words. Of course I’m the hap- 
piest fellow in the world.” 

Gerald turned away, and Lilias kissed Valentine, and 
then watched with a queer feeling of pain at her heart as 
the bridal pair amid cheers and blessings drove away. 

Gerald’s last few words had renewed Lilias’ anxiety. She 


62 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


felt restless in the great, grand house, and longed to be 
back in the rectory. 

“What’s the matter, Lil?” said Marjory; “your face 
is a yard long, and you are quite white and have dark lines 
under your eyes. For my part I did not think Gerald’s 
wedding would be half so jolly, and what a nice unaffected 
girl Valentine is.” 

“ Oh, yes, I’m not bothering my head about her,” said 
Lilias. “ She’s all right, just what father said she was. I 
wish we were at home again, Maggie.” 

“Yes, of course, so do I, v said Marjory. “But then we 
can’t be, for we promised Gerald to try and make things 
bright for Mr. Paget. Isn’t he a handsome man, Lilly ? I 
don’t think I ever saw anyone with such a beaming sort of 
benevolent expression.” 

“ He is certainly very fond of Valentine, and she of 
him,” answered Lilias. “ No, I did not particularly notice 
his expression. The fact is I did not look at anyone much 
except our Gerald. Marjory, I think it is an awful thing 
for girls like us to have an only brother — he becomes 
almost too precious. Marjory, I cannot sympathize with 
Mr. Paget. I wish we were at home. I know our dear 
old dad will want us, and there is no saying what mess 
Augusta will put things into.” 

“ Father heard from Mr. Carr on the morning we left,” 
responded Marjory. “ I think he is coming to the rectory 
on Saturday. If so, father won’t miss us : he’ll be quite 
taken up showing him over the place.” 

“ I shall hate him,” responded Lilias, in a very tart 
voice. “Fancy his taking our Gerald’s place. Oh, 
Maggie, this room stifles me. — can’t we change our 
dresses, and go out for a stroll somewhere ? Oh, what 
folly you talk of it’s not being the correct thing ! What 
a hateful place this London is ! Oh, for a breath of the 
air in the garden at home. Yes, what is it, Mrs. John- 
stone ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


63 


Lilias’ pretty face looked almost grumpy, and a de- 
cidedly discontented expression lurked in the dark, sweet 
eyes she turned upon the good lady of the establishment. 

“ Lilly has an attack of the fidgets/’ said Marjory. “ She 
wants to go out for a walk.” 

“ You shall both come in the carriage with me, my dears. 
I was coming in to propose it to you. We won’t dine until 
quite late this evening.” 

“ Delightful,” exclaimed Marjory, and the two girls ran 
out of the room to get ready. Mrs. Johnstone followed 
them, and a few moments later a couple of young men 
who were staying in the house sauntered lazily into the 
drawing-room. 

“What do you think of Wyndham’s sisters, Exham ?” 
said one to the other. 

Exham, a delicate youth of about nineteen, gave a long 
expressive whistle. 

“ The girls are handsome enough,” he said. “ But not 
in my style. The one they call Lilias is too brusque. As 
to Wyndham, well — ” 

“ What a significant ‘ well/ old fellow — explain yourself.” 

“ Nothing,” returned Exham, who seemed to draw out 
of any further confidences he was beginning to make. 
“ Nothing — only, I wouldn’t be in Wyndham’s shoes.” 

The other man, whose name was Power, gave a short 
laugh. 

“ You need not pretend to be so wise and close, Exham, ” 
he retorted. “ Anyone can see with half an eye that 
Wyndham’s wife is not in love with him. All tlTe same, 
Wyndham has not done a bad thing for himself — stepping 
into a business like this. Why, he’ll have everything by- 
and-bye. I don’t see how he can help it.” 

“ Did you hear that funny story, ” retorted Exham, 
“ about Wyndham’s life being insured ? ” 

“ No, what? — Most men insure their lives when they 
marry.” 


64 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“Yes, but this is quite out of the common. At four 
offices, and heavily. It filtered to me through one of the 
clerks at the office. He said it was all Paget’s doing.” 

“ What a villain that clerk must be to let out family 
secrets,” responded Power. “ I don’t believe there’s any- 
thing in it, Exham. Ah, here comes the young ladies. 
Yes, Mrs. Johnstone, I should like to go for a drive very 
much.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


65 


CHAPTER XII. 

Some people concern themselves vey much with the mys- 
teries of life, others take what good things fall into their 
way without question or wonder. These latter folk are 
not of a speculating or strongly reasoning turn ; if sorrow 
arrives they accept it as wise, painful, inevitable — if joy 
visits them they rejoice, but with simplicity. They are 
the people who are naturally endowed with faith — faith 
first of all in a guiding providence, which as a rule is 
accompanied by a faith in their fellow men. The world is 
kind to such individuals, for the world is very fond of 
giving what is expected of it — to one hate and distrust, to 
another open-handed benevolence and cordiality. People 
so endowed are usually fortunate, and of them it may be 
said, that it was good for them to be born. 

All people are not so constituted — there is such a thing 
as a noble discontent, and the souls that in the end often 
attain to the highest, have nearly suffered shipwreck, have 
spent with St. Paul a day and a night in the deep — being 
saved in the end with a great deliverance — they have often 
on the road been all but lost. Such people often sin very 
deeply — temptation assails them in the most subtle forms, 
many of them go down really into the deep, and are never 
in this life heard of again — they are spoken of as “ lost,” 
utterly lost, and their names are held up to others as 
terrible warnings, as examples to be shunned, as reprobates 
to be spoken of with bated breath. 

It may be that some of these so-called lost souls will 
appear as victors in another state ; having gone into the 
lowest depths of all they may also attain to the highest 

5 


66 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


heights ; this, however, is a mystery which no one can 
fathom. 

Gerald Wyndham was one one of the men of whom no 
one could quite say it was good for him to have been 
born. His nature was not very easily read, and even his 
favorite sister Lilias did not quite know him. From his 
earliest days he was so far unfortunate as never to be able 
to take things easily ; even in his childhood this character- 
istic marked him. Sorrows with Gerald were never trivial ; 
when he was six years old he became seriously ill because 
a pet canary died. He would not talk of his trouble, nor 
wail for his pet like an ordinary child, but sat apart, and 
refused to eat, and only his mother at last could draw him 
away from his grief, and show him it was unmanly to be 
rebellious. 

His joys were as intense as his woes — he was an intense 
child in every sense of the word ; eager, enthusiastic, with 
many noble impulses. All might have gone well with him 
but for a rather strange accompaniment to his special 
character ; he was as reserved as most such boys would be 
open. It was only by the changing expression of his eyes 
that on many occasions people knew whether a certain 
proposition would plunge him in the depths of woe or 
raise him to the heights of joy. He was innately very un- 
selfish, and this characteristic must have been most strongly 
marked in him, for his father and his mother and his 
seven sisters did their utmost to make him the reverse. 
Lilias said afterwards that they failed ignobly. Gerald 
would never see it, she would say. Talk of easy-chairs 
— he would stand all the evening rather than take one 
until every other soul in the room was comfortably provid- 
ed. Talk of the best in anything, — you might give it to 
Gerald, but in five minutes he would have given it away to 
the person who wanted it least. It was aggravating beyond 
words, Lilias Wyndham often exclaimed, but before you 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


67 


could even attempt to make old Gerry decently comfort- 
able you had to attend to the wants of even the cats and 
dogs. 

Wyndham carrying all his peculiarities with him went to 
school and then to Cambridge. He was liked in both 
places, and was clever enough to win distinction, but for 
the same characteristic which often caused him at the last 
moment to fail, because he thought another man should 
win the honor, or another schoolboy the prize. 

His mother wished him to take holy orders, and although 
he had no very strong leaning in that direction he expressed 
himself satisfied with her choice, and decided for the first 
few years of his life as deacon and priest to help his father 
at the dear old parish of Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. 

Then came his meeting with Valentine Paget, the com- 
plete upheaval of every idea, the revolution which shook 
his nature to its depths. His hour had come, and he took 
the malady of young love — first, earnest, passionate love — 
as anyone who knew him thoroughly, and scarcely anyone 
did know the real Wyndham, might have expected. 

One pair of eyes, however, looked at this speaking face, 
and one keen mental vision pierced down into the depths 
of an earnest and chivalrous soul. Mortimer Paget had 
been long looking for a man like Wyndham. It was not a 
very difficult matter to make such a lad his victim, hence 
his story became one of the most sorrowful that could be 
written, as far as this life is concerned. Had his mother, 
who was now in her grave for over seven years, known 
what fate lay before this bright beautiful boy of hers, she 
would have cursed the day of his birth. Fortunately for 
mothers, and sisters too, the future lies in darkness, for 
knowledge in such cases would make daily life unendur- 
able. 

Valentine and her husband extended their wedding tour 
considerably over the original month. They often wrote 


68 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


home, and nothing could exceed the cheerfulness of the 
letters which Mr. Paget read with anxiety and absorbing 
interest — the rectory folks with all the interest minus the 
anxiety. Valentine frankly declared that she had never 
been so happy in her life, and it was at last, at her father’s 
express request, almost command, that the young couple 
consented to take up their abode in Queen’s Gate early in 
the November which followed their wedding. They spent 
a fortnight first at the old rectory, where Valentine ap- 
peared in an altogether new character, and commenced 
her career by swearing an eternal friendship with Augusta. 
She was in almost wild spirits, and they played pranks 
together, and went everywhere arm-in-arm, accompanied 
by the entire bevy of little sisters. 

Lilias and Marjory began by being rather scandalized, 
but ended by thoroughly appreciating the arrangement, as it 
left them free to monopolize Gerald, who on this occasion 
seemed to have quite recovered his normal spirits. He 
was neither depressed nor particularly exultant, he did not 
talk a great deal either about himself or his wife, but was 
full of the most delighted interest in his father’s and sis-* 
ters’ concerns. The new curate, Mr. Carr, was now in full 
force, and Gerald and he found a great deal to say to one 
another. The days were those delicious ones of late au- 
tumn, when nature quiet and exhausted, as she is after her 
time of flower and fruit, is in her most soothing mood. The 
family at the rectory were never indoors until the shades 
of night drove them into the long, low, picturesque, untidy 
drawing-room. 

Then Gerald sang with his sisters — they had all sweet 
voices, and his was a pure and very sympathetic tenor. Val- 
entine’s songs were not the same as those culled from old 
volumes of ballads, and selected from the musical mothers’ 
and grandmothers’ store, which the rectory folk delighted 
in. Hers were drawing-room melodies of the present day, 
fashionable, but short-lived. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


69 


The first night the young bride was silent, for even Au- 
gusta had left her to join the singers round the piano. 
Gerald was playing an accompaniment for his sisters, and 
the rector, standing in the back ground, joined the swell of 
harmony with his rich bass notes. Valentine and Carr, 
who was also in the room, were the silent and only listen- 
ers. Valentine wore a soft white dress, her bright wavy 
locks of golden hair were a little roughened, and her starry 
eyes were fixed on her husband. Carr, who looked almost 
monastic in his clerical dress, was gazing at her — her lips 
were partly open, she kept gentle time to the music with 
her little hand. A very spirited glee was in full tide, when 
there came a horrid discordant crash on the piano — every- 
one stopped singing, and Gerald, very white, went up to 
Val, and took her arm. 

“ Come over here and join us,” he said almost roughly. 

“ But I don't know any of that music, Gerald, and it is 
so delicious to listen.” 

“ Folly,” responded her husband. “ It looks absurd to 
see two people gaping at one. I beg your pardon, Carr — 
I am positively sensitive, abnormally so, on the subject of 
being stared at. Girls, shall we have a round game ? I 
will teach Val some of Bishop's melodies to-morrow morn- 
ing.” 

“I am going home,” said Carr, quietly. “ I did not 
know that anyone was looking at you except your wife, 
Wyndham. Good-night ? ” 

It was an uncomfortable little scene, and even the inno- 
cent, unsophisticated rectory girls felt embarrassed without 
knowing why. Marjory almost blamed Gerald afterwards, 
and would have done so roundly, but Lilias would not 
listen to her. 

At the next night's concert, Valentine sang almost as 
sweetly as the others, but Carr did not come back to the 
rectory for a couple of days. 


70 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ I evidently acted like a brute, and must have ap- 
peared one,” said Gerald to himself. “ But God alone 
knows what all this means to me.” 

It was a small jar, the only one in that happy fortnight, 
when the girls seemed to have quite got their brother back, 
and to have found a new sister in pretty, bright Valentine. 

It was the second of November when the bride and 
bridegroom appeared at a big dinner party made in their 
honor at the house in Queen’s tate. 

All her friends congratulated Valentine on her improved 
looks, and told Wyndham frankly that martrimony had made 
a new man of him. He was certainly bright and pleasant, 
and took his part quite naturally as the son of the house. 
No one could detect the shadow of a care on his face, and 
as to Val, she sat almost in her father’s pocket, scarcely 
turning her bright eyes away from his face. 

“ I always thought that dear Mr. Paget the best and 
noblest and most Christian of men,” remarked a certain 
Lady Valery to her daughter as they drove home that even- 
ing. “ I am now more convinced of the truth of my views 
than ever.” 

“ Why so, mother ? ” asked her daughter. 

“ My dear, can you not see for yourself? He gave that 
girl of his — that beautiful girl, with all her fortune — to a 
young man with neither position nor money, simply and 
entirely because she fell in love with him. Was there ever 
anything more disinterested? Yes, my dear, talk to me 
of every Christian virtue embodied, and I shall invariably 
mention my old friend, Mortimer Paget.” 


7i 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XIII. 

“ Valentine,” said her husband, as they stood together 
by the fire in their bedroom that night, “ I have a great 
favor to ask of you.” 

“ Yes, Gerald — a favor ! I like to grant favors. Is it 
that I must wear that soft white dress you like so much 
to-morrow evening ? Or that I must sing no songs but the 
rectory songs for father’s visitors in the drawing-room. 
How solemn you look, Gerald. What is the favor ? ” 

Gerald’s face did look careworn. The easy light-hearted 
expression which had characterized it downstairs had left 
him. When Valentine laid her hand lovingly on his 
shoulder, he slipped his arm round her waist, however, and 
drew her fondly to his side. 

“ Val, the favor is this,” he said. “ You can do any- 
thing you like with your father. I want you to persuade 
him to let us live in a little house of our own for a time, 
until, say next summer.” 

Valentine sprang away from Gerald’s encircling arm. 

“ I won’t ask that favor,” she said, her eyes flashing. “ It 
is mean of you, Gerald. I married you on condition that 
I should live with my father.” 

“ Very well, dear, if you feel it like that, we won’t say 
anything more about it. It is not of real consequence.” 

Gerald took a letter out of his pocket, and opening the 
envelope began leisurely to read its contents. Valentine 
still, however, felt ruffled and annoyed. 

“ It is so queer of you to make such a request,” she said. 
“ I wonder what father would say. He would think I had 
taken leave of my senses, and just now too when I have 


72 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


been away from him for months. And when it is such a 
joy, such a deep, deep joy, to be with him again/’ 

“ It is of no consequence, darling. I am sorry I men- 
tioned it. See, Valentine, this letter is from a great friend 
of mine, a Mrs. Price — she wants to call on you; she is 
coming to-morrow. You will be at home in the afternoon, 
will you not ? ” 

Valentine nodded. 

“ I will be in,” she said. Then she added, her eyes fill- 
ing with tears — “ You don’t really want to take me away 
from my father, Gerald ? ” 

“ I did wish to do so, dear, but we need not think of it 
again. The one and only object of my life is to make you 
happy, Val. Now go to bed, - and to sleep, dearest. I am 
going downstairs to have a smoke.” 

The next morning, very much to her surprise, Mr. Paget 
called his daughter into his study, and made the same pro- 
position to her which Gerald had made the night before. 

“ I must not be a selfish old man, Val,” he said. “ And 
I think it is best for young married folks to live alone. I 
know how you love me, my child, and I will promise to pay 
you a daily visit. Or at least when you don’t come to me, I 
will look you up. But all things considered, it is best for 
your husband and you to have your own house. Why, 
what is it, Valentine, you look quite queer, child.” 

“ This is Gerald’s doing,” said Valentine — her face had 
a white set look — never before had her father seen this 
expression on it. “ No, father, I will not leave you ; I 
refuse to do so ; it is breaking our compact; it is unfair.” 

She went up to him, and put her arms round his neck, 
and again her golden locks touched his silvered head, and 
her soft cheek pressed his. 

“ Father darling, you won’t break your own Val’s heart 
— you couldn’t ; it would be telling a lie. I won’t live away 
from you — I won’t, so there.” 


A LIFE F#F A LOVE. 


73 


Just at this moment Wyndham entered the room. 

“ What is it, sir ? ” he said, almost fiercely. “ What are 
you doing with Val? Why, she is crying. What have you 
been saying to her ? ” 

“ My father said nothing,” answered Valentine for him. 
(t How dare you speak to my father in that tone ? It is you, 
Gerald ; you have been mean and shabby. You went to 
my father to try to get him on your side — to try and get 
him — to try and get him to aid you in going away — to live 
in another house. Oh, it was a mean, cowardly thing to do, 
but you shan’t have your way, for I’m not going ; only 
I’m ashamed of you, Gerald, I’m ashamed of you.” 

Here Valentine burst into a tempest of angry, girlish 
tears. 

“ Don’t be silly, Val,” said her husband, in a quiet voice. 
“ I said nothing about this to Mr. Paget. I wished for it, 
but as I told you last night, when you disapproved, I gave 
it up. I don’t tell lies. Will you explain to Valentine, 
please, sir, that I’m guiltless of anything mean, or, as she 
expresses it, shabby, in this matter.” 

“ Of course, Wyndham — of course, you are,” said Paget. 
“ My dear little Val, what a goose you have made of your- 
self. Now run away, Wyndham, there’s a good fellow, and 
I’ll soothe her down. You might as well go to the office 
for me. Ask Helps for my private letters, and bring them 
back with you. Now, Valentine, you and I are going to 
have a drive together. Good-bye, Wyndham.” 

Wyndham slowly left the room — Valentine’s head was 
still on her father’s shoulder — as her husband went away 
he looked back at her, but she did not return his glance. 

“ The old man is right,” he soliloquized bitterly. “ I 
have not a chance of winning her heart. No doubt under 
the circumstances this is the only thing to be desired, and 
yet it very nearly maddens me.” 

Wyndham did not return to Queen’s Gate until quite 
late ; he had only time to run up to his room and change 


74 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


his dress hastily for dinner. Valentine had already gone 
downstairs, and he sighed heavily as he noticed this, or 
he felt that unwittingly he had managed to hurt her in her 
tenderest feelings that morning. 

“ If there is much of this sort of thing,” he said to him- 
self, “ I shall not be so sorry when the year is up. When 
once the plunge is over I may come up another man, and 
anything is better than perpetually standing on the brink.” 
Yet half an hour later Wyndham had completely changed 
his mind, for when he entered the drawing-room, a girlish 
figure jumped up at once out of an easy-chair, and ran to 
meet him, and Valentine’s arms were flung about his neck 
and several of her sweetest kisses printed on his lips. 

“ Forgive me for being cross this morning, dear old dar- 
ling. Father has made me see everything in quite a new 
light, and has shown me that I acted quite like a little 
fiend, and that you are very nearly the best of men. And 
do you know, Gerry, he wishes us so much to live alone, 
and thinks it the only right and proper thing to do, that I 
have given in, and I quite agree with him, quite. And we 
have almost taken the sweetest, darlingest little bijou resi- 
dence in Park-lane that you can imagine. It is like a doll’s 
house compared to this, but so exquisite, and furnished 
with such taste. It will feel like playing in a baby-house 
all day long, and I am almost in love with it already. You 
must come with me and see it the first thing in the morn- 
ing, Gerry, for if we both like it, father will arrange at once 
with the agent, and then, do you know the very first thing 
I mean to do for you, Gerry ? Oh, you need not guess, I’ll 
tell you. Lilias shall come up to spend the winter with us. 
Oh, you need not say a word. I’m not jealous, but I can 
see how you idolize Lilias, Gerry.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


75 


- CHAPTER XIV. 

At the end of a week the Wyndhams were settled in their 
new home, and Valentine began her duties as wife and 
housekeeper in earnest. She, too, was more or less impul- 
sive, and beginning by hating the idea she ended by adopt- 
ing it with enthusiasm. After all it was her father’s plan, 
not Gerald’s, and that in her heart of hearts made all the 
difference. 

For the first time in her life, Valentine had more to get 
through than she could well accomplish. Her days, there- 
fore, just now were one long delight to her, and even Gerald 
felt himself more or less infected by her high spirits. It 
was pretty to see her girlish efforts at house-keeping, and 
even her failures became subjects of good-humored merri- 
ment. Mr. Paget came over every day to see her, but he 
generally chose the hours when her husband was absent, 
and Wyndham and his young wife were in consequence 
able to spend many happy evenings alone. 

By-and-bye this girlish and thoughtless wife was to look 
back on these evenings, and wonder with vain sighs of 
unavailing regret if life could ever again bring her back 
such sweetness. Now she enjoyed them unthinkingly, for 
her time for wakening had not come. 

When the young couple were quite settled in their own 
establishment, Lilias Wyndham came up from the country 
to spend a week with them. Nothing would induce her 
to stay longer away from home. Although Valentine 
pleaded and coaxed, and even Gerald added a word or two 
of entreaty, she was quite firm. 


76 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ No,” she said, “ nothing would make me become the 
obnoxious sister-in-law, about whom so much has been 
written in all the story books I have ever read.” 

“ Oh, Lilias, you darling, as if you could ! ” exclaimed 
Val, flying at her and kissing her. 

“ Oh, yes, my dear, I could,” calmly responded Lilly 
— “ and I may just as well warn you at once that my ways 
are not your ways in a great many particulars, and that 
you’d find that out if I lived too long with you. No, I’m 
going home to-morrow — to my o\yn life, and you and 
Gerald must live yours without me. I am ready to come, 
if ever either of you want me, but just now no one does 
that as much as Marjory and my father.” 

Lilias returned to Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, and Valentine 
for some days continued to talk of her with enthusiasm, 
and to quote her name on all possible Occasions. 

“ Lilias says that I’ll never make a good housekeeper, 
unless I bring my wants into a fixed allowance, Gerald. 
She says I ought to know what I have got to spend each 
week, and not to exceed it, whether it is a large or small 
sum. She says that’s what she and Marjory always do. 
About how much do you think I ought to spend a week on 
house-keeping, Gerry ? ” 

“ I don’t know, darling. I have not the most remote 
idea.” 

“ But how much have we to spend altogether? We are 
very rich, are we not ? ” 

“ No, Valentine, we are very poor. In fact we have got 
nothing at all.” 

“ Why, what a crease has come between your brows ; 
let me smooth it out — there, now you look much nicer. 
You have got a look of Lilias, only your eyes are not so 
dark. Gerald, I think Lilias so pretty. I think she is the 
very sweetest girl I ever met. But what do you mean by 
saying we are poor ? Of course we are not poor. We 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


77 


would not live in a house like this, and have such jolly, 
cosy, little dinners if we were poor. Why, I know that 
champagne that we have a tiny bottle of every evening is 
really most costly. I thought poor people lived in attics, 
and ate bread and American cheese. What do you mean 
by being poor, Gerald ? ” 

“ Only that we have nothing of our own, dearest ; we 
depend on your father for everything.” 

“ You speak in quite a bitter tone. It is sweet to de- 
pend on my father. But doesn’t he give us an allow- 
ance ? ” 

“ No, Valentine, I just take him all the bills, and he pays 
them.” 

“ Oh, I don’t like that plan. I think it is much more 
important and interesting to pay one’s own bills, and I can 
never learn to be a housekeeper if I don’t understand the 
value of money. I’ll speak to father about this when he 
comes to-morrow. I’ll ask him to give me an allowance.” 

“ I wouldn’t,” replied Gerald. He spoke lazily, and 
yawned as he uttered the words. 

“ There’s no use in taking up things that one must leave 
off again,” he added, somewhat enigmatically. Then he 
opened a copy of Browning which lay near, and forgot 
Valentine and her troubles, at least she thought he forgot 
her. 

She looked at him for a moment, with a half-pleased, 
half-puzzled expression coming into her face. 

“ He is very handsome and interesting,” she murmured 
under her breath. “ I like him, I certainly do like him, 
not as well as my father of course — I’m not sorry I married 
him now. I like him quite as well as I could ever have 
cared for the other man — the man who wore white flannels 
and had a determined voice, and now has been turned into 
a dreadful prosy curate. Yes, I do like Gerald. He per- 
plexes me a good deal, but that is interesting. He is 


78 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


mysterious, and that is captivating — yes, yes — yes. Now, 
what did he mean by that queer remark about my house- 
keeping — ‘ that it wasn’t worth while ? ’ I hope he’s not 
superstitious — if anything could be worth while it would 
be well for a young girl like me to learn something useful 
and definite. I’ll ask him what he means.” 

She drew a footstool to her husband’s side, and taking 
one of his hands laid her cheek against it. Wyndham 
dropped his book and smiled down at her. 

“ Gerry, do you believe in omens ? ” she asked. 

Gerald gave a slight start. Circumstances inclined him 
to superstition — then he laughed. He must not encourage 
his wife in any such folly. 

“ I don’t quite understand you, my love,” he replied. 

“ Only you said it was not worth my while to learn to 
housekeep. Why do you say that ? I am very young, 
you are young. If we are to go on always together, I ought 
to become wise and sensible. I ought to have knowledge. 
What do you mean, Gerald ? Have you had an omen ? 
Do you think you will die ? Or perhaps that I shall die? 
I should not at all like it. I hope — I trust — no token of 
death has been sent to you about me.” 

“ None, my very dearest, none. I see before you a life 
of — of peace. Peace and plenty — and — and — honor — a 
good life, Valentine, a guarded life.” 

“ How white you are, Gerald. And why do you say 
‘ you ’ all the time ? The life, the peaceful life, and it 
sounds rather dull, is for us both, isn’t it? ” 

“ I don’t know — I can’t say. You wouldn’t care, would 
you, Val — I mean — I mean ” 

“ What ? ” 

Valentine had risen, her arms were thrown round 
Gerald’s neck. 

“ Are you trying to tell me that I could be happy now 
without you ? ” she whispered. “ Then I couldn’t, darling. 
I don’t mind telling you I couldn’t. I — I ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


79 


“ What, Val, what ? ” 

“ I like you, Gerald. Yes, I know it — I do like you — 
much.” 

It ought to have been the most dreadful sound to him, 
and yet it wasn’t. Wyndham strained his wife to his heart. 
Then he raised his eyes, and with a start Valentine and he 
stepped asunder. 

Mr. Paget had come into the room. He had come in 
softly, aiid he must have heard Valentine’s words, and seen 
that close embrace. 

With a glad cry the girl flew to his side, but when he 
kissed her his lips trembled, he sank down on the nearest 
chair like a man who had received a great shock. 


So 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XV. 

“ I’m afraid I can’t help it, sir,” said Wyndham. 

Mr. Paget and his son-in-law were standing together in 
the very comfortable private room before alluded- to in the 
office of the former. 

Wyndham was standing with his back to the mantel- 
piece ; Valentine’s lovely picture was over his head. Her 
eyes, which were almost dancing with life, seemed to have 
something mocking in them to Mr. Paget, as he encoun- 
tered their gaze now. As eyes will in a picture, they fol- 
lowed him wherever he moved. He was restless and ill at 
ease, and he wished either that the picture might be re- 
moved, or that he could take up Wyndham’s position with 
his back to it. 

“ I tell you,” he said, in a voice that betrayed his per- 
turbation, “ that you must help it. It’s a clear breaking 
of contract to do otherwise.” 

“You see,” said Wyndham, with a slow smile, “you 
under-rated my attractions. I was not the man for your 
purpose after all.” 

“ Sit down for God’s sake, Wyndham. Don’t stand 
there looking so provokingly indifferent. One would think 
the whole matter was nothing to you.” 

“ I am not sure that it is much ; that is, I am not at all 
sure that I shall not take my full meed of pleasure out of 
the short time allotted to me.” 

“ Sit down, take that chair, no, not that one — that — ah, 
that’s better. Valentine’s eyes are positively uncomfort- 
able the way they pursue me this evening. Wyndham, you 
must feel for me — you must see that it will be a perfectly 
awful thing if my — my child loses her heart to you.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


81 


“Well, Mr. "Paget, you can judge for yourself how mat- 
ters stand. I — I cannot quite agree with you about what 
you fear being a catastrophe.” 

“You must be mad, Wyndham — you must either be 
mad, or you mean to cheat me after all.” 

“ No, I don’t. I have a certain amount of honor left — 
not much, or I shouldn’t have lent myself to this, but the 
rag remaining is at your service. Seriously now, I don’t 
think you have grave cause for alarm. Valentine is affec- 
tionate, but I am not to her as you are.” 

.“You are growing dearer to her every day. I am not 
blind, I have watched her face. She follows you with her 
eyes — when you don’t eat she is anxious, when you look 
dismal — you have an infernally dismal face at times, Wynd- 
ham — -she is puzzled. It wasn’t only what I saw last night. 
Valentine is waking up. It was in the contract that she 
was not to wake up. I gave you a child for your wife. 
She was to remain a child when ” 

“ When she became my widow,” Wyndham answered 
calmly. 

“ Yes. My God, it is awful to think of it. We must go 
in, we daren’t turn back, and she may suffer, she may suffer 
horribly, she has a great heart — a deep heart. It is play- 
ing with edged tools to make it live.” 

“ Can’t you shorten the time of probation ? ” asked Wynd- 
ham. 

“ I wish to heaven I could, but I am powerless. Wynd- 
ham, my good friend, my son — something must be done.” 

“Don’t call me your son,” said the younger man, rising 
and shaking himself. “ I have a father who besides you 
is — there, I won’t name what I think of you. I have a 
mother — through your machinations I shall never see her 
face any more. Don’t call me your son. You are very 
wise, you have the wisdom of a devil, but even you can 
overreach yourself. You thought you had found every- 

6 


82 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


thing you needed, when you found me — the weak young 
fool, the despairing idiotic lover. Poor? Yes, cursedly 
poor, and with a certain sense of generosity, but nothing 
at all in myself to win the heart of a beautiful young girl. 
You should have gone down to Jewsbury-on-the-Wold for 
a little, before you summed up your estimate of my char- 
acter, for the one thing I have always found lying at my 
feet is — love. Even the cats and dogs loved me — those to 
whom I gave nothing regarded me with affection. Alack — 
and alas — my wife only follows the universal example.” 

“ But it must be stopped, Wyndham. You cannot fail 
to see that it must be stopped. Can you not help me — 
can you not devise some plan ? ” 

Wyndham dropped his head on his hands. 

“ Hasten the crisis,” he said. “ I want the plunge over ; 
hasten it.” 

There came a tap at the room door. Mr. Paget drew 
back the curtain which stood before it, slipped the bolts, 
and opened it. 

“ Ah, I guessed you were here ! ” said Valentine's gay 
voice ; “ yes, and Gerald too. This is delightful,” added 
she, as she stepped into the room. 

“ What is it, Val ? ” asked her father. “ I was busy — I 
was talking to your husband. I am very much occupied 
this afternoon. I forgot it was the day you generally called 
for*me. No, I’m afraid I can’t go with you, my pet.” 

Valentine was looking radiant in winter furs. 

“ I’ll go with Gerald, then,” she said. “ He’s not too 
busy.” 

She smiled at him. 

“ No, my dear, I’ll go with you,” said the younger man. 
“ I don’t think, sir,” he added, turning round, with a des- 
perately white but smiling face, “ that we can advance 
business much by prolonging this interview, and if you 
have no objection, I should like to take a drive with my 
wife as she has called.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


83 


Valentine instinctively felt that these smoothly spoken 
words were meant to hide something. She glanced from 
the face of one man to another ; then she went up to her 
father and linked her hand in his arm.” 

“ Come, too, daddy/’ she said. You used always to 
be able to make horrid business wait upon your own Valen- 
tine’s pleasure.” 

Mr. Paget hesitated for a moment. Then he stooped 
and lightly kissed his daughter’s blooming cheek. 

“ Go with your husband, dear,” he said, gently. “ I am 
really busy, and we shall meet at dinner time.” 

“ Yes, we are to dine with you to-night — I’ve a most 
important request to make after dinner. You know what 
it is, Gerry. Won’t father be electrified ? Promise before- 
hand that you’ll grant it, dad.” 

“Yes, my child, yes. Now run away both of you. I 
am really much occupied.” 

Valentine and her husband disappeared. Mr. Paget 
shut and locked the door behind them — he drew the velvet 
curtains to insure perfect privacy. Then he sank down in 
his easy-chair to indulge in anxious meditation. 

He thought some of those hard thoughts, some of those 
abstruse, worrying, almost despairing thoughts, which add 
years to a man’s life. 

As he thought the mask dropped from his handsome 
face ; he looked old and wicked. 

After about a quarter-of-an-hour of these meditations, he 
moved slightly and touched an electric bell in the wall. 
His signal was answered in about a minute by a tap at the 
room door. He slipped the bolts again, and admitted his 
confidential clerk, Helps. 

“ Sit down, Helps. Yes, bolt the door, quite right. Now, 
sit down. Helps, I am worried.” 

“ I’m sorry to observe it, sir,” said Helps. “ Worries 
is nat’ral, but not agreeable. They come to the good and 


8 4 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


they come to the bad alike ; worries is like the sun — they 
shines upon all.” 

“ A particularly agreeable kind of glare they make,” 
responded Mr. Paget, testily. “ Your similes are remark- 
able for their aptitude, Helps. Now, have the goodness 
to confine yourself to briefly replying to my questions. 
Has there been any news from India since last week ? 

“ Nothing fresh, sir.” 

“No sign of stir ; no awakening of interest — of — of — 
suspicion ? ” 

“ Not yet, sir. It isn’t to be expected, is it? ” 

“ I suppose not. Sometimes I get impatient, Helps.” 

“You needn’t now, sir. Your train is, so to speak, laid. 
Any moment you can apply the match. Any moment, Mr. 
Paget. Sometimes, if you’ll excuse me for speaking of 
that same, I have a heart in my bosom that pities the vic- 
tim. You shouldn’t have done it from among the clergy, 
Mr. Paget, and him an only son, too.” 

“ Hush, it’s done. There is no help .now. Helps, you 
are the only soul in the world who knows everything. 
Helps, there may be two victims.” 

Helps had a sallow face. It grew sickly now. 

“ I don’t like it,” he muttered. “ I never did approve 
of meddling with the clergy — he was meant for the Church, 
and them is the Lord’s anointed.” 

“ Don’t talk so much,” thundered Mr. Paget. “ I tell 
you there are two victims — and one of them is my child. 
She is falling in love with her husband. It is true — it is 
awful. It must be prevented. Helps, you and I have got 
to prevent it.” 

Helps sat perfectly still. His eyes were lowered ; they 
were following the patterns of the carpet. He moved his 
lips softly. 

“ It must be prevented,” said Mr. Paget. “ Why do 
you sit like that ? Will you help me, or will you not ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 85 

Helps raised his greeny-blue eyes with great delibera- 
tion. 

“ I don’t know that I will help you, Mr. Paget,” he 
replied ; and then he lowered them again. 

“You won’t help me? You don’t know what you are 
saying, Helps. Did you understand my words ? I told 
you that my daughter was falling in love with that scamp 
Wyndham.” 

“ He ain’t a scamp,” replied the clerk. u He’s in the 
conspiracy, poor lad, he’s the victim of the conspiracy, 
but he’s no scamp. Now I never liked it. I may as well 
own to you, Mr. Paget, that I never liked your meddling 
with the clergy. I said, from the first, as no good would 
come of it. It’s my opinion, sir — ” here Helps rose, and 
raising one thin hand shook it feebly at his employer, “ it’s 
my opinion as the Lord is agen you — agen us both for that 
matter. We can’t do nothing if He is, you know. I had 
a dream last night — I didn’t like'the dream, it was a homin- 
ous dream. I didn’t like your scheme, Mr. Paget, and I 
don’t think I’ll help you more’n I have done.” 

“ Oh, you don’t? You are a wicked old scoundrel. You 
think you can have things all your own way. You are a 
thief. You know the kind of accommodation thieves get 
when their follies get found out. Of course, it’s inexpen- 
sive, but it’s scarcely agreeable.” 

Helps smiled slightly. 

“ No one could lock me up but you, and you wouldn’t 
dare,” he replied. 

These words seemed somehow or other to have a very 
calming effect on Mr. Paget. He did not speak for a full 
moment, then he said quietly — 

“ We won’t go into painful scenes of the past, Helps. 
Yes, we have both committed folly, and must stand or fall 
together. We have both got only daughters— it is our life’s 
work to shield them from dishonor, to guard them from 


86 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


pain. Suppose, Helps, suppose your Esther was in the 
position of my child ? Suppose she was learning to love 
her husband, and you knew what that husband had before 
him, how would you feel, Helps ? Put yourself in my place, 
and tell me how you’d feel.” 

“ It ’ud all turn on one point,” said Helps. “ Whether 
I loved the girl or myself most. Ef I saw that the girl was 
goin^ deep in love with her husband — deep, mind you — 
mortal deep — so I was nothing at all to her beside him, 
why then, maybe, I’d save the young man for her sake, and 
go under myself. I might do that, it ’ud depend on how 
much I loved.” 

“ Nonsense ; you would bring dishonor and ruin on her. 
How could she ever hold up her head again ? ” 

“ Maybe he’d comfort her through it. There’s no say- 
ing. Love, deep love, mind you, does wonders.” 

Mr. Paget began to pace up and down the room. 

“ You are the greatest old fool I ever came across,” he 
said. “ Now, mind you, your sentiments with regard to 
your low-born daughter are nothing at all to me. No- 
blesse oblige doesn’t come into the case with you as it does 
with my child. Dishonor shall never touch her ; it would 
kill her. She must be guarded against it. Listen, Helps. 
We have talked folly and sentiment enough. Now to busi- 
ness. That young man must not rise in my daughter’s 
esteem. There is such a thing — listen, Helps, come close 
— such a thing as blackening a man’s character. You think 
it over — you’re a crafty old dog. Go home and look at 
Esther, and think it over. God bless me, I’d not an idea 
how late it was. Here’s a five pound note for your pretty 
girl, Helps. Now go home and think it over.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*7 


CHAPTER XVI. 

Helps buttoned on his great coat, said a few words to one 
of the clerks, and stepped out into the foggy night. He 
hailed a passing omnibus, and in the course of half-an-hour 
found himself fumbling with his latch-key in the door of a 
neat little house, which, however, was at the same moment 
thrown wide open from within, and a tall girl with a pale 
face, clear grey eyes, and a quantity of dark hair coiled 
about her head stood before him. 

“ It’s father, Cherry,” she said to a little cousin who 
popped round the corner. “ Put the sausages on, and dish 
up the potatoes. Now don’t be awkward. I’m glad you’re 
in good time, father — here, give us a kiss. Do I look nice 
in this dress ? I made it all myself. Here, come up to 
the gas, and have a good look at it. How does it fit ? 
Neat, eh?” 

The dress was a dark green velveteen, made without 
attempt at ornament, but fitting the slim and lissom figure 
like a glove# 

11 It’s neat, but plain, sure-ly,” replied Helps, looking 
puzzled, proud, and at the same time dissatisfied. “ A 
bit more color now, — more flouncing — Why, what’s the 
matter, Essie ? How you do frown, my girl.” 

“ Come in out of the cold, father. Oh, no, not the 
kitchen, I’ve ordered supper to be laid in the dining-room. 
Well, perhaps the room it does smoke, but that will soon 
clear off. Now, father, I want to ask you an important 
question. Do I look like a lady in this dress ? ” 

She held herself very erect, the pure outline of her grand 
figure was shown to the best advantage, her massive head 


88 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


had a queenly pose, and the delicate purity of her com- 
plexion heightened the effect. Her accent was wrong, her 
words betrayed her — could she have become dumb, she 
might have passed for a princess. 

“ Do I look like a lady ? ” she repeated. 

Little Helps stepped back a pace or two — he was 
puzzled and annoyed. 

“ You look all right, Essie,” said. “ A lady ? Oh, well 
— but you ain’t a lady, my girl. Look here, Esther, this 
room is mortal cold — I’d a sight rather have my supper 
cosy in the kitchen.” 

“ You can’t then, father. You must take up with the 
genteel ways. After supper we’re going into the drawing- 
room, and I’ll play to you on the pianner, pa ; I have been 
practising all day. Perhaps, too, we’ll have company — * 
there’s no saying.” 

“ Company ? ” repeated Helps. “ Who — what ? ” 

“ Oh, I’m not going to say, maybe he won’t come. I met 
him in the park — I was skating with the Johnsons, and I 
fell, and he picked me up. I might have been hurt but for 
him. Then he heard George Johnson calling me by my 
name, and it turned out that he knew you. Oh, wasn’t 
he a swell, and didn’t he look it 1 And hadn’t he a name 
worth boasting of ! ‘ Mr. Gerald Wyndham.’ Why, what’s 
the matter, father ? He said that he had often promised 
to look you up some evening, to bring you some stupid 
book or other. He said maybe he would come to-night. 
That’s why I had the drawing-room and dining-room all 
done up. He said perhaps he’d call, and took off his hat 
most refined. I took an awful fancy to him — his ways was 
so aspiring. He said he might come to-night, but he wasn’t 
sure. I didn’t know you had young men like that at your 
office, father. And what is the matter? — why, you’re quite 
white ! ” 

“ I never talk of what goes on at the place of business,” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


89 


replied Helps, in quite a brusque voice for him. “ And as 
to that young gent, Esther, he's our Miss Valentine's hus- 
band.” 

“ Married ? Oh, lor, he didn’t look it ! And who is 
1 our Miss Valentine ? ’ if I may be bold enough to ask.” 

“ Mr. Paget’s daughter. I said I didn’t mention matters 
connected with the place of business.” 

“ You always were precious close, father. But you’re a 
dear, good, old dad, all the same, and Cherry and I would 
sooner die than have you scolded about anything. Cherry, 
my fine beau’s a married man — pity, aint it ? I thought 
maybe he’d suit me.” 

li Then you needn’t have lit the fire in the drawing-room,” 
answered Cherry, a very practical and stoutly-built little 
maid of fifteen. 

“ Maybe I needn’t, but there’s no harm done. I sup- 
pose I can talk to him, even if he is married. Won’t I draw 
him out about Miss Valentine, and tell him how father 
always kept her a secret from us.” 

“ Supper’s ready, uncle,” said Cherry. “ Oh, bother that 
fire ! It’s quite out. Don’t the sausages smell good, uncle ? 
I cooked them myself.” 

The three sat down to the table, poor Helps shivering 
not a little, and casting more than one regretful glance at 
the warm and cosy kitchen. He was feeling depressed for 
more than one reason this evening, and a sense of dismay 
stole over him at Esther’s having accidentally made Wynd- 
ham’s acquaintance. 

“ It’s a bad omen,” he said, under his breath, “ and 
Esther’s that contrary, and so taken up with making a 
lady of herself, and she’s beautiful as a picter, except when 
she talks folly. 

“ I liked that young man from the first,” he murmured. 
“ I took, so to speak, a fancy to him, and warned him, 
and I quoted scripter to him. All to no good. The glint 


go 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


of a gel’s eye was too much for him, he sold himself for her 
— body and soul he sold himself for her. Still, I went 
on keeping up a fancy for him, and I axed him to look 
me up some evening, and have a pipe — he’s wonderful on 
words too — he can derivate almost as many as I can. I’m 
sorry now I asked him — Esther’s that wilful, and as beau- 
tiful as a picter. She talks too much to young men that’s 
above her. She’s set on being a lady. Mr. Wyndham’s 
married, of course, but Esther wouldn’t think nothing of 
trying to flirt with him for all that.” 

“ Esther,” he said, suddenly, raising his deep-set eyes, 
and fixing them on his daughter, “ ef the young man calls, 
it’s to see me, mind you — he’s a married man, and he has 
got the most beautiful wife in the world, and he loves her. 
My word, I never heard tell of nobody loving their wife so 
much ! ” 

Esther’s big grey eyes opened wide. 

“ How you look at me, dad,” she said, “ One would 
think I wanted to steal Mr. Wyndham from his wife ! I’m 
glad he loves her, it’s romantic, it pleases me.” 

“ And there’s his ring at the door,” suddenly exclaimed 
Cherry. “ Esther was right to prepare the drawing-room. 
I’m glad he have come. I like to look at handsome gents, 
particular when they are in love.” 

Gerald’s arrival was accidental after all. He and his wife 
were dining in Queen’s Gate, and after dinner he remem- 
bered his adventure on the ice, and told the story in an 
amusing way. 

“ A most beautiful girl, but with such an accent and 
manner,” he said. “ And who do you think she turned 
out to be, sir?” he added, turning to his father-in-law. 
“ Why, your cracked clerk’s daughter. She told me her 
name was Esther Helps, and I found they were father and 
daughter.” 

“ Has old Helps got a daughter? ” exclaimed Valentine. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


91 

a How funny that I should never have known it. I have 
always been rather fond of old Helps.” 

“ He has an only daughter, as I have an only daughter,” 
replied Mr. Paget. Valentine was sitting close to him ; he 
put his arm around her waist as he spoke. 

“ How queer that I should never have known,” conti- 
nued Valentine. “ And her name is Esther ? It is a pretty 
name. And you say that she is handsome, Gerry ? What 
is she like ? ” 

“ Tall and pale, with an expressive face,” replied Wynd- 
ham, lightly. “ She is lady-like, and even striking-looking 

until she opens her lips — then ” he made an expressive 

grimace. 

“ Poor girl, as if she could help that,” replied Val. “ She 
has never been educated, you know. Her father is poor, 
and he can’t give her advantages. Does old Helps love 
his daughter very much, dad ? ” 

“ I suppose so, Val. Yes, I think I may say I am sure 
he does.” 

“ I am so interested in only girls with fathers,” continued 
Mrs. Wyndham. “ I wish I had seen Esther Helps. I 
hope you were kind to her, Gerald.” 

“ I picked her up, dear, and gave her to her friends. 
By-the-way, I said I’d call to see old Helps this evening. 
He has a passion for the derivation of words, and I have 
Trench’s book on the subject. Shall I take Esther a mes- 
sage from you, Val? ” 

“ Yes, say something nice. I am not good at making 
up messages. • Tell her I am interested in her, and the 
more she loves her father, the greater my interest must be. 
See, this is *much better than any mere message — take her 
this bunch of lilies — say I sent them. Now, Gerald, is it 
likely I should be lonely ? Father and I are going to have 
two hours all to ourselves.” 

But as Valentine said these light words, her hand lin- 
gered on her husband’s shoulder, and her full brown eyes 


92 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


rested on his face. Something in their gaze made his heart 
throb. He put his arm round her neck and kissed her 
forehead. 

“ I shan’t be two hours away,” he said. 

He took up the flowers, put “ Trench on Words ” into 
his pocket, and went out. 

Wyndham had a pleasant way with all people. His words, 
his manner, his gentle courteous smile won for him hearts 
in all directions. He was meant to be greatly beloved ; 
he was born to win the most dangerous popularity of all — 
that which brought to him blind and almost unreasoning 
affection. 

He was received at No. 5 Acadia Terrace with enthu- 
siasm. Esther and Cherry were open-eyed in their admi- 
ration, and Helps, a little sorrowful — somehow Helps if he 
wasn’t cynical was always sorrowful — felt proud of the visit. 

Gerald insisted on adjourning to the kitchen. He and 
Helps had a long discussion on words — Cherry moved 
softly about, putting everything in order — Esther sat silent 
and lovely, glancing up now and then at Gerald from un- 
der her black eyelashes. Valentine’s flowers lay in her 
lap. They were dazzlingly white, and made an effective 
contrast to her dark green dress. It was a peaceful little 
scene — nothing at all remarkable about it. Gerald felt 
more contented than he had done for many a day. Who 
would have thought that out of such innocent materials 
mischief of the deadliest sort might be wrought to him and 
his. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


93 


CHAPTER XVII. 

When Wyndham came back to Queen’s Gate his wife 
met him with sparkling eyes. 

“ How much time can you give me to-morrow ? ” she 
said. “ I want to go out with you. I have been speaking 
to father, and he accedes to all our wishes — he will give us 
an income. He says he thinks a thousand a year will be 
enough. Oh, he is kind, and I feel so excited. Don’t let 
us drive, let us walk home, Gerry. I know the night is fine, 
I feel that everything is bright just now, and you will come 
with me to-morrow, won’t you, Gerry ? Father, could you 
spare Gerald from business to-morrow ? You know it is 
so important.” 

Mr. Paget was standing a little in the shadow, his face 
was beaming, his eyes smiling. When Valentine turned to 
him, he laid his hand lightly on her shoulder. 

“You are an inconsistent little girl,” he said. “You 
want to become a business woman yourself. You want to 
be practical, and clever, and managing, and yet you en- 
courage that husband of yours to neglect his work.” 

Gerald flushed. 

“ I don’t neglect my work,” he said. “ My heavy work 
has never a chance of being neglected, it is too crushing.” 

Valentine looked up in alarm, but instantly Mr. Paget’s 
smiling face was turned to the young man, and his other 
hand touched his arm. 

“ Your work to-morrow is to go with your wife,” he said 
gently. “ She wants to shop — to spend — to learn saving 
by expenditure. You have to go with her to give her the 
benefit of your experience. Look out for cheap sales, my 
dear child — go to Whiteley’s, and purchase what you don’t 


94 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


want, provided it is a remnant, and sold under cost price. 
Save by learning, Val, and, Gerald, you help her to the best 
of your ability. Now good-night, my children, good-night, 
both of you, bless you.” 

“ It almost seemed to me,” said Valentine, as they walked 
home together — it was a starry night and she clung affec- 
tionately to her husband’s arm — “ it almost seemed to me 
that father was put out with you, and you with him. He 
was so sweet while you were out, but although he smiled 
all the time after you returned I don’t think he was really 
sweet, and you didn’t speak nicely to him, Gerald, about 
the work I mean. Is the work at the office very heavy, 
Gerald? You never spend more than about two hours a 
day there.” 

“ The work is heavy, Val, and it will grow more so. I 
don’t complain, however — I have not the shadow of a right 
to complain. I am sorry I spoke to your father so as to vex 
you, dearest — I won’t do so again.” 

“ I want you to love him, Gerry ; I want you to feel for 
him a little bit, as I do, as if he were the first of men, you 
understand. Don’t you think you could try. I wish you 
would.” 

“You see I have my own father, darling.” 

“ Oh yes, but really now — the rector is a nice old man, 
but, Gerry, if you were to speak from your inmost heart, 
without any prejudice, you know ; if you could detach 
from your mind the fact that you are the son of the rector, 
you would not compare them, Gerry, you could not.” 

“ As you say, Valentine, I could not. They stand on 
different pedestals. Now let us change the subject. So 
you are the happy possessor of a thousand a year.” 

“ We both possess that income, Gerry. Is not it sweet 
of father — he felt for me at once. He said he was proud 
of me, that I was going to make a capital wife — he said you 
were a lucky fellow, Gerry.” 

“ Yes, darling, so I am, so I am.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


95 


tl Then he spoke of a thousand a year to begin with. He 
mentioned a lot more, but he said a thousand was an in- 
come on which I might begin to learn to save. And he gave 
me a cheque for the first quarter to-night. He said we had 
better open a banking account. As soon as we get in, I’m 
going to give you the cheque, I’m afraid to keep it. Father 
said we might open a separate account in his bank.” 

“ My father has always banked at the Westminster,” 
said Gerald. “ It would suit me best to take the money 
there.” 

They had reached the house by this time. Gerald opened 
the door with a latch-key, and the two went into the pretty, 
cosy drawing-room. Valentine threw off her white fur wrap, 
and sank down into an easy-chair. Her dinner dress was 
white, and made in a very simple girlish fashion — her hair, 
which was always short and curled in little rings about her 
head and face, added to the extreme youth of her appear- 
ance. She raised her eyes to her husband, who stood by 
the mantel-piece. The expression she wore was that of a 
happy, excited, half-spoiled child, a creature who had been 
somebody’s darling from her birth. This was the predomi- 
nating expression of her face, and yet — and yet — Gerald 
seemed to read something more in the gaze of the sweet 
eyes to-night ; a question was half coming into them, the 
dawn of a possible awakening might even be discerned in 
them. 

“ My darling,” he said, suddenly coming up to her, put- 
ting his arm about her, and kissing her with passion, “ I 
love you better than my life — better — better than my hope 
of heaven. Can you love me a little, Valentine — just a 
little?” 

“ I do love you, Gerald.” But she spoke quietly, and 
without any answering fire. 

His arms dropped, the enthusiasm went out of his face ; 
he went back again to his old position with his back to the 
fire. 


9 6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ What kind of girl is Esther Helps, Gerald? ” 

“A beautiful girl.” 

“ As beautiful as I am ? ” 

“ In her way quite as beautiful.” 

“ Why do you say ‘ in her way ? ’ Beauty must always 
be beauty.” 

“ It has degrees, Esther Helps is not a lady.” 

Valentine was silent for half a minute. 

“ I should like to know her,” she said then. “ I wonder 
how much she cares for old Helps.” 

“ Look here, Valentine, Esther Helps is not the least like 
you. I don’t know that she has any romantic attachment 
for that old man. She is a very ordinary girl — a most 
commonplace person with just a beautiful face.” 

“ How queerly you speak, Gerald. As if it were some- 
thing strange for an only daughter to be attached to her 
father.” 

“The amount of attachment you feel, darling, is uncom- 
mon.” 

“ Is it ? Well, I have got a very uncommon father.” 

“ My dear Valentine, God knows you have.” 

Gerald sank down into a chair by the fire. He turned 
his face, dreary, white and worn, to the blaze. Valentine 
detected no hidden sarcasm in his tones. After a time she 
took the cheque out of her purse and handed it to him. 

“ Here, Gerry, you will put this into your bank to-mor- 
row, won’t you ? We will open an account in our joint 
names, won’t we ? And then we can calculate how much 
we are to spend weekly and monthly. Oh, won’t it be 
interesting and exciting. So much for my clothes, so 
much for yours, so much for servants, so much for food 
— we need not spend much on food, need we ? So much 
for pleasures — I want to go to the theatre at least twice 
a week — oh, we can manage it all and have something to 
spare. And no debts, remember, Gerry — ready money will 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


97 


be our system. We’ll go in omnibuses, too, to save cabs 
— I shall love to feel that I am doing for a penny what 
might cost a shilling. Gerald darling, do you know that 
just in one way you have vexed my father a little ? ” 

“ Vexed him — how, Valentine? ” 

“ He says it is very wrong of you to croak, and have 
gloomy prognostications. You know you said it was not 
worth while for me to learn to housekeep. Just as if 
you were going to die, or I were going to die. Father was 
quite vexed when I told him. Now you look vexed, Gerry. 
Really between such a husband and such a father, a poor 
girl may sometimes feel puzzled. Well, have you nothing 
to say ? ” 

“I’m afraid I have nothing to say, Valentine.’* 

“ Then you won’t croak any more.” 

“ Not for you — I have never croaked for you.” 

“ Nor for yourself.” 

“ I cannot promise. Sometimes fits of depression come 
over me. There, good-night, sweet. Go to bed. I am 
not sleepy. I shall read for a time. Your future is all 
right, Valentine.” 


98 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE * 


CHAPTER XVIII. 

“ I don’t like it,” said Lilias. 

She was sitting in the sunny front parlor, the room which 
was known as the children’s room at the rectory. An open 
letter lay on her dark winter dress ; her sunny hair was 
piled up high on her shapely head, and her eyes, wistful 
and questioning, were raised to Marjory’s brisker, brighter 
face, with a world of trouble in them. 

The snow lay thick outside, covering the flower beds 
and the grassy lawn, and laying in piles against the low 
rectory windows. Marjory was standing by a piled up 
fire, one of those perfect fires composed of great knobs of 
sparkling coal and well dried logs of wood. She, too, had 
on a dark dress, but it was nearly covered by a large hol- 
land apron with a bib. Her sleeves were protected by 
cuffs of the same, on her hands she wore chamois leather 
gloves with the tips cut off. She looked all bright, and 
active, and sparkling, and round her on the table and on 
the floor lay piles and bales of unbleached calico, of coarse 
red flannel, of bright dark blue and crimson merino. In 
one of Marjory’s capable hands was a large pair of cutting- 
out scissors, and she paused, holding this implement 
slightly open, to Listen to Lilias’ lugubrious words. 

“ If you must croak to-day,” she said, “ get it over 
quickly, and come and help me. Twenty-four blue frocks 
and twenty-four red to be ready by the time the girls come 
at four o’clock, besides the old women’s flannel and this 
unlimited supply of unbleached calico. If there is a thing 
which ruffles my equanimity it is unbleached calico, it fluffs 
so, and makes one so messy. Now, what do you want to 
gay, Lilias ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


99 


“ I’m troubled,” said Lilias, “ it’s about Gerald. I’ve the 
queerest feeling about him — three times lately I’ve dreamt 
— intangible dreams, of course, but all dark and forebod- 
ing.” 

“ Is that a letter from Gerry in your lap, Lilias ? ” 

“ No, it is from Val — a nice little letter, too, poor child. 
I am sure she is doing her best to be a good wife to Gerald. 
Do you know that she has taken up housekeeping in real 
earnest.” 

“ Does she say that Gerald is ill ? ” 

“ No, she scarcely mentions his name at all.” 

“ Then what in the name of goodness are you going into 
the dismals for on this morning of all mornings. Twenty- 
four blue frocks and twenty-four red between noon and 
four o’clock, and the old women coming for them to the 
moment. Really, Lilias, you are too provoking. You are 
not half the girl you were before Gerald’s marriage. I 
don’t know what has come to you. Oh, there’s Mr. Carr 
passing the window, I’ll get him to come in and help us. 
Forgive me, Lil, I’ll just open this window a tiny bit and 
speak to him. How do you do, Mr. Carr ? You can step 
in this way — you need not go round through all the slush 
to the front door. There, you can wipe your feet on that 
mat. Lilias, say ‘ how do you do ’ to Mr. Carr, that is if 
you are not too dazed.” 

a How do you do, Miss Wyndham ? How do you do, 
Miss Lilias ? ” said Carr in a brisk tone. “ It is very good 
of you both to let me into this pleasant room after the cold 
and snow outside. And how busy you are ! Surely, Miss 
Wyndham, your family don’t require such a vast amount 
of re-clothing.” 

“ Yes,” said Marjory, “ these bales of goods are for my 
shivering widows,” and she pointed to the red flannel and 
unbleached calico. “ And those are for my pretty or- 
phans— our pretty orphans, Lilly darling, twenty-four 


100 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


in the West Refuge, twenty-four in the East ; the Easterns 
are apparelled in red, the Westerns in blue. Now, Mr. 
Carr, I’ll put it to you as our spiritual pastor, is it right 
for Lilias to sit and croak instead of helping me with all 
this prodigious work ? ” 

“ But croaking for nothing is not Miss Lilias’ way,” said 
Carr, favoring her with a quick glance, a little anxious, a 
little surprised. 

Lilias sprang up with almost a look of vexation. Valen- 
tine’s letter fell unheeded on the floor. 

“ You are too bad, Maggie,” she said, with almost a 
forced laugh. “ I suppose there are few people in this 
troublesome world who are not now and then attacked 
with a fit of the blues. But here goes. I’ll shake them 
off. I’ll help you all I can.” 

“You must help too,” said Marjory in a gay voice, 
turning to Carr. “ Please take off your great coat — put it 
anywhere. Now then, are your hands strong ? are your 
arms steady? You have got to hold this bale of red 
merino while Lily cuts dress lengths from it. Don’t forget, 
Lil, nine lengths of three-and-a-half yards each, nine 
length of four yards each, and six lengths of five yards each. 
Oh, thank you, Mr. Carr, that will be a great assistance.” 

Carr was a very energetic, wide-awake, useful man. He 
could put his hands to anything. No work, provided it 
was useful, was derogatory in his eyes — he was always 
cheerful, always bright and obliging. Even Gerald Wynd- 
ham could scarcely have made a more popular curate at 
Jewsbury-on-the-Wold than did this young man. 

“ If anything could provoke me about him, it is that he 
is too sunny,” Marjory said one day to her sister. 

Lilias was silent. It occurred to her, only she was not 
sure, that in those dark, quick, keen eyes there could come 
something which might sustain and strengthen on a day of 
clouds as well as sunshine. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


lot 


It came now, when Marjory suddenly left the room, and 
Carr abruptly let the great bale of merino drop at his 
feet. 

“ Are you worried about anything ? ” he asked, in that 
direct fashion of his which made people trust him very 
quickly. 

Lilias colored all over her face. 

“ I suppose I ought not to be silly,” she said, “ but my 
brother — you see he is my only brother — his marriage has 
made a great gulf between us.” 

Carr looked at her sharply. 

“ You are not jealous ? ” he said. 

“ I don’t know — we used to be great chums. I think if 
I were sure he was happy I should not be jealous ? ” 

Carr walked to the fireplace. 

“ It would not be folly if you were,” he said. “ All 
sisters must face the fact of their brothers taking to them- 
selves wives, and, of course, loving the wives best. It is 
the rule of nature, and it would be foolish of you to fret 
against the inevitable.” 

He spoke abruptly, and with a certain coldness, which 
might have offended some girls. Lilias' slow earnest answer 
startled him. 

“ I don’t fret against the inevitable,” she said. “ But I 
do fret against the intangible. There is a mystery about 
Gerald which I can’t attempt to fathom. I know it is there, 
but I can’t grapple with it in any direction.” 

“You must have some thought about it, though, or it 
would not have entered into your head.” 

“ I have many thoughts, but no clues. Oh, it would 
take me a long, long time to tell you what I fear, to bring 
my shad^ wy dread into life and being. I have just had a 
letter from Valentine, a sweet nice letter, and yet it seems 
to me full of mystery, although I am sure she does not know 
it herself. Yes, it is all intangible — it is kind of you to 
listen to me. Marjory would say I was talking folly.” 


102 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ You are talking as if your nerves were a little out of 
sorts. Could you not have a change ? Even granted that 
there is trouble, and I don’t suppose for an instant that 
anything of the kind is in store for your brother, it is a great 
waste of life to meet it half way.” 

Lilias smiled faintly. 

“Iam silly,” she said. .And just then Marjory came 
into the room, followed by Augusta, and the cutting out 
proceeded briskly. 

Carr was an invaluable help. Some people would have 
said that he was a great deal too gay and cheerful — a great 
deal too athletic and well-knit and keen-eyed for a curate. 

This was not the case ; he made an excellent clergyman, 
but he had a great sense of the fitness of things, and he 
believed fully in a time for everything. 

Helping three merry girls to cut out red and blue merino 
frocks, on a cold day in January, seemed to him a very 
cheerful occupation. Gay laughter and light and innocent 
chatter filled the room, and Lilias soon became one of the 
merriest of the party. 

In the midst of their chatter the rector entered. 

“ I want you, Carr,” he said, abruptly ; he was usually 
a very polite man, almost too ceremonious. Now his 
words came with a jerk, and the moment he had uttered 
them he vanished. 

As Carr left the room in obedience to this quick sum- 
mons, Lilias’ face became once more clouded. 

The rector was pacing up and down his study. When 
Carr entered he asked him to bolt the door. 

“ Is anything the matter, sir ? ” asked the young man. 

Mr. Wyndham’s manner was so perturbed, so unlike 
himself, that it was scarcely wonderful that Carr should 
ask this question. It received, however, a short and sharp 
reply. 

“ I hope to goodness, Carr, you are not one of those 
imaginative people who are always foreboding a lion in the 


A LIFE FOR A 1,0 VF. 


103 


path. What I sent for you was — well ” the rector 

paused. He raised his eyes slowly until they rested upon 
the picture of Gerald’s mother ; the face very like Gerald’s 
seemed to appeal to him ; his lips trembled. 

“I can’t keep it up, Carr,” he said, with an abandon 
which touched the younger man to the heart. “ I’m not 
satisfied about my son. Nothing wrong, oh, no — and yet 
— and yet — you understand, Carr, I have only one son — a 
lot of girls, God bless them all ! — and only one son.” 

Carr came over and stood by the mantel-piece. If he 
felt any surprise, he showed none. His words came out 
gently, and in a matter-of-fact style. 

“ If you have any cause to be worried, Mr. Wyndham — 
and — and — you think I can help you, I shall be proud to 
be trusted.” Then his thoughts flew to Lilias, and his 
firm, rather thin lips, took a faint smile. 

“ I have no doubt I am very foolish,” replied the rector. 
“ I had a letter this morning from Gerald. He tells me in 
it that he is going to Australia in March, on some special 
business for his father-in-law’s firm — you know he is a 
partner in the firm. His wife is not to accompany him.” 

The rector paused. 

Carr made no answer for a moment. Then he said, feel- 
ing his way — 

“This will be a trial for Mrs. Wyndham.” 

“ One would suppose so. Gerald doesn’t say anything 
on the subject.” 

“ Well,” said the rector, “ how does it strike you? Per- 
haps I’m nervous — Lilly, poor girl, is the same, and Marjory 
laughs at us both. How does this intelligence strike you 
as an outsider, Carr? Pray give me your opinion.” 

“ Yes,” said Carr, simply. “ I do not think my opinion 
need startle anyone. Doubtless, sir, you know facts which 
throw a different complexion on the thing. It all seems to 
me a commonplace affair. In big business houses part- 


104 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


ners have often to go away at short notice. It will certainly 
be a trial for Mrs. Wyndham to do without her husband. 
I don’t like to prescribe change of air for you, Mr. Wynd- 
ham, as I did for Miss Lilias just now, but I should like 
to ask you if your nerves are quite in order? ” 

The rector laughed. 

“ You are a daring fellow to talk of nerves to me, Carr,” 
he said. “ Have not I prided myself all my life on having 
no nerves ? Well, well, the fact is, a great change has 
come over the lad’s face. He used to be such a boy, too 
light-hearted, if anything, too young, if anything, for his 
years — the most unselfish fellow from his birth. Give away ? 
Bless you, there was nothing Gerald wouldn’t give away. 
Why, look here, Carr, we all tried to spoil the boy amongst 
us — he was the only one- -and his mother taken away 
when he so young — and he the image of her. Yes, all the 
girls resemble me, but Gerald is the image of his mother. 
We all tried to teach him selfishness, but we couldn’t. Now, 
Carr, you will be surprised at what I am going to say, but 
if a man can be unselfish to a fault, to a fault mind you — 
to the verge of a crime — it’s my son Gerald. I know this, 
I have always seen it in him. Now my boy’s father-in-law, 
Mortimer Paget, is as selfish as my lad is the reverse. Why 
did he want a poor lad like mine to marry his rich and 
only daughter? Why did he make him a partner in his 
house of business, and why did he insure my boy’s life ? 
Insure it heavily ? Answer me that. My boy would have 
taken your place here, Carr ; humbly but worthily would 
he have served the Divine Master, no man happier than he. 
Is he happy now ? Is he young for his years now ? Tell 
me, Carr, what you really think ? ” 

“ I don’t know, sir. I have not looked at things from 
your light. You are evidently much troubled, and I am 
deeply troubled for you. I don’t know Wyndham very 
well, but I know him a little. I think that marriage and 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


I°S 


the cares of a house of business and all his fresh respon- 
sibilities may be enough to age your son’s face. As to the 
insurance question, all business is so fluctuating that Mr. 
Paget was doubtless right in securing his daughter and her 
children from possible want in the future. See here, Mr. 
Wyndham, I am going up to town this evening for two or 
three days. Shall I call at Park-lane and bring you my 
own impressions with regard to your son ? ” 

“ Thank you, Carr, that is an excellent thought, and 
what is more you shall escort Lilias or Marjory up to town. 
They have a standing invitation to my boy’s house, and a 
little change just now would do — shall I say Lilias ? — 
good.” 

*•' Miss Lilias wants a change, sir. She is affected like 
yourself with, may I call it, an attack of the nerves.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOV£ t 


106 


CHAPTER XIX. 

Valentine really made an excellent housekeeper. Nobody 
expected it of her ; her friends, the ladies, old and young, the 
girls, married or otherwise, who knew Valentine as they 
supposed very intimately, considered the idea of settling 
this remarkably ignorant young person down with a fixed 
income and telling her to buy with it, and contrive with it, 
and make two ends meet with it, quite one of the best jokes 
of the day. 

Valentine did not regard it as a joke at all. She honestly 
tried, honestly studied, and honestly made a success as 
housekeeper and household manager. 

She was a most undeveloped creature, undeveloped both 
in mind and heart ; but she not only possessed intense 
latent affections, but latent capacities of all sorts. She 
scarcely knew the name of poverty, she had no experience 
with regard to the value of money, but nature had given 
her an instinct which taught her to spend it wisely and 
well. She found a thousand a year a larger income than 
she and Gerald with their modest wants needed. She 
scarcely used half of what she received, and yet her home 
was cheerful, her servants happy, her table all that was com- 
fortable. 

When she brought her housekeeping books to her hus- 
band to balance at the end of the first month, he looked at 
her with admiration, and then said in a voice of great sad- 
ness : — 

“ God help me, Valentine, have I made a mistake alto- 
gether about you ? Am I dreaming, Valentine, are you 
meant for a poor man’s wife after all ? ” 


A LIFE FOk A LOVF. 


fo *j 

“ For your wife, whether rich or poor,” she said ; and 
she knelt down by his side, and put her hand into his. 

She had always possessed a sweet and beautiful face, 
but for the last few weeks it had altered ; the sweetness had 
not gone, but resolution had grown round the curved 
pretty lips, and the eyes had a soft happiness in them. 

“ Pretty, charming creature ! ” people used to say of her. 
“ But just a trifle commonplace and doll-like.” 

This doll-like expression was so longer discernible in 
Valentine. 

Gerald touched her hair tenderly. 

“ My little darling ! ” he said. His voice shook. Then 
he rose abruptly, with a gesture which was almost rough. 
“ Come upstairs, V^l j the housekeeping progresses admir- 
ably. No, my dear, you made a mistake, you were never 
meant for a poor man’s wife.” 

Valentine kissed his brow : she looked at him in a 
puzzled way. 

“ Do you know,” she said, laying her hands on his, with 
a gesture half timid, half appealing ; “ don’t go up to the 
drawing-room for a moment, Gerald, I want to say a thing, 
something I have observed. I am loved by two men, by 
my father and by you. I am loved by them very much — 
by both of them very much. Oh, yes, Gerald, I know 
what you feel for me, and yet I can’t make either of them 
happy. My father is not happy. Oh, yes, I can see — love 
isn’t blind. I never remembered my father quite, quite 
happy, and he is certainly less so than ever now. He tries 
to look all right when people are by ; even succeeds, for 
he is so unselfish, and brave, and noble. But when he is 
alone — ah, then. Once he fell asleep when I was in the 
room, he looked terrible in that sleep ; his face was haggard 
— he sighed — there was moisture on his brow. When he 
woke he asked me to marry you. I didn’t care for you 
then, Gerald, but I said yes because of my father. He said 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


108 

if I married you he would be perfectly happy. I did so — 
he is not happy.” 

Gerald did not say a word. 

“ And you aren’t happy, dear,” she continued, coming a 
little nearer to him. “ You used to be ; before we were 
engaged you had such a gay face. I could never call you 
gay since, Gerald. You are so thin, and sometimes at night 
I lie awake, and I hear you sigh. Why, what is the matter, 
Gerald ? You look ghastly now. Am I hurting you ? I 
wouldn’t hurt you, darling.” 

Wyndham turned round quickly. He had been white 
almost to fainting, now a great light seemed to leap out of 
his eyes. 

“ What did you say ? What did you call me ? Say it 
again.” 

“ Darling.” 

“ Then I thank my God — everything has not been in 
vain.” 

He sank down on the nearest chair and burst into tears. 
Tragedies go on where least expected. The servants in the 
servants’ hall thought their young master and mistress 
quite the happiest people in the world. Were they not gay, 
young, rich ? Did they not adore one another ? Gerald’s 
devotion to Valentine was almost a joke with them, and 
Valentine’s increasing regard for him was very observable 
to those watchful outsiders. 

Certainly the pair stayed in a good deal in the evenings, 
and why to-night in particular did they linger so long in 
the dining-room, rather to the inconvenience of the kitchen 
regime. But presently their steps were heard going up- 
stairs, and then Valentine accompanied Gerald’s violin on 
the piano. 

Wyndham played very well for an amateur, so well that 
with a little extra practice he might almost have taken his 
place as a professional of no mean ability. .He had exqui- 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


1 09 


site taste and a sensitive ear. Music always excited him, 
and perhaps was not the safest recreation for such a highly 
strung nature. 

Valentine could accompany well ; she, too, loved music, 
but had not her husband’s facility nor grace of execution. 
In his happiest moments Gerald could compose, and 
sometimes even improvise with success. 

During their honeymoon it seemed to him one day as he 
looked at the somewhat impassive face of the girl for whom 
he had sold himself body and soul — as he looked and felt that 
not yet at least did her heart echo even faintly to any beat 
of his, it occurred to him that he might tell his story in its 
pain and its longing best through the medium of music. 
He composed a little piece which, for want of another title, 
he called “ Waves.” It was very sweet in melody, and had 
some minor notes of such pathos that when Valentine first 
heard him play it on the violin she burst into tears. He 
told her quite simply then that it was his story about her, 
that all the sweetness was her share, all the graceful mel- 
ody, the sparkling joyous notes which coming from Gerald’s 
violin seemed to speak like a gay and happy voice, repre- 
sented his ideal of her. The deeper notes and the pain 
belonged to him ; pain must ever come with love when it 
is strongest, she would understand this presently. 

Then he put his little piece away — he only played it once 
for her when they were in Switzerland ; he forgot it, but 
she did not. 

To-night, after her confession, when they went up to the 
drawing-room, his heart immeasurably soothed and healed, 
and hers soft with a wonderful joy which the beginning of 
true love can give, he remembered u Waves,” and thought 
he would play it for her again. It did not sound so melan- 
choly this time, but strange to say the gay notes were not 
quite so gay, the warble of a light heart had deepened. 
As Wyndham played and Valentine sat silent, for she 


iio 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


offered no accompaniment to this little fugitive piece, he 
found that he must slightly reconstruct the melody. The 
minor keys were still minor, but there was a ring of victory 
through them now ; they were solemn, but not despairing. 

“ He that loseth his life shall find it,” Wyndham said 
suddenly, looking full into her eyes. 

The violin slipped from his hand, coming down with a 
discordant crash, the door was flung open by the servant, 
as Lilias Wyndham and Adrian Carr came into the room. 

In a minute all was gay bustle and confusion. Gerald 
forgot his cares, and Valentine was only too anxious to 
show herself as the hospitable and attentive hostess. 

A kind of improvised meal between dinner and tea was 
actually brought up into the drawing-room. Lilias ate 
chicken and ham holding her plate on her lap. Carr, more 
of a stranger, was not allowed to feel this fact. In short, 
no four could have looked merrier or more free from 
trouble. 

“ It is delightful to have you here — delightful, Lilias,” 
said Valentine, taking her sister-in-law’s hand and squeez- 
ing it affectionately. 

“ Do you know, Lil,” said Gerald, “ that this little girl- 
wife of mine, with no experience whatever, makes a most 
capable housekeeper. With all your years of knowledge 
I should not like you to enter the lists with her.” 

“ With all my years of failure, you mean,” answered 
Lilias. “I always was and always will be the most 
incompetent woman with regard to beef and mutton and 
pounds, shillings and pence who walks this earth.” 

She laughed as she spoke ; her face was cloudless, her 
dark eyes serene. For one moment before he went away 
Carr found time to say a word to her. 

“ Did I not tell you it was simply a case of nerves ? ” 
he remarked. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Ill 


CHAPTER XX. 

Esther Helps was certainly neither a prudent nor a care- 
ful young woman. She meant no harm, she would have 
shuddered at the thought of actual sin, but she was reck- 
less, a little defiant of all authority, even her father’s most 
gentle and loving control, and very discontented with her 
position in life. 

Morning, noon, and night, Esther’s dream of dreams, 
longing of longings, was to be a lady. She had some little 
foundation for this desire. The mother who had died at 
her birth had been a poor half-educated* little governess, 
whose mother before her had been a clergyman’s daughter. 
Esther quickly discovered that she was beautiful, and her 
dream of dreams was to marry a gentleman, and so go 
back to that station in life where her mother had moved. 

Esther had no real instincts of ladyhood. She spoke 
loudly, her education had been of a very flashy and super- 
ficial order. From the time she left the fourth-rate board- 
ing-school where her father alone had the means to place 
her, she had stayed at home and idled. Idling was very 
bad for a character like hers ; she was naturally active and 
energetic — she had plenty of ability, and would have made 
a capital shopwoman or dressmaker. But Esther thought 
it quite beneath her to work, and her father, who could 
support her at home, was only too delighted to have her 
there. He was inordinately proud of her — she was the one 
sunbeam in his dull, clouded timorous life. He adored 
her beauty, he found no fault with her Cockney twang, and 
he gave her in double measure the love which had lain 
buried for many years with his young wife. 


112 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Esther, therefore, when she left school, sat at home, and 
made her own dresses, and chatted with her cousin Cherry, 
who was an orphan, and belonged to Helps’ side of the 
house. Cherry was a very capable, matter-of-fact hearty 
little girl, and Esther thought it an excellent arrangement 
that she should live with them, and take the drudgery and 
the cooking, and in short all the household work off her 
hands. Esther was very fond of Cherry, and Cherry, in 
her turn, thought there was never anyone quite so grand 
and magnificent as her tall, stately cousin. 

“ Well, Cherry,” said Esther, as the two were going to 
bed on the night after Wyndham’s visit, “ what do you 
think of him ? Oh, I needn’t ask, there’s but one thing 
to be thought of him.” 

“ Elegant, I say,” interrupted Cherry. She was looking 
particularly round and dumpy herself, and her broad face 
with her light grey eyes was all one smile. “ An elegant 
young man, Essie — a sort of chevalier, now, wouldn’t you 
say so ? ” 

“It’s just like you, Cherry, you take up all your odd 
moments with those poetry books. Mr. Wyndham ain’t a 
chevalier — he’s just a gentleman, neither more nor less — 
a real gentleman, oh dear. I call it a cruel disappoint- 
ment, Cherry,” and she heaved a profound sigh. 

“ What’s a disappointment? ” asked unsuspicious Cherry, 
as she tumbled into bed. 

“ Why, that he’s married, my dear. He’d have suited 
me fine. Well, there’s an end of that.” 

Cherry thought there was sufficiently an end to allow 
her to drop off to sleep, and Esther, after lying awake for 
a little, presently followed her example. 

The next day she was more restless than ever, once or 
twice even openly complaining to Cherry of the dullness 
of her lot, and loudly proclaiming her determination to 
become a lady in spite of everybody. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


"3 


“ You can’t, Essie,” said her father, in his meek, though 
somewhat high-pitched voice, when he overheard some of 
her words that evening. “ It ain’t your lot, child — you 
warn’t born in the genteel line ; there’s all lines and all 
grooves, and yours is the narrowing one of the poverty- 
struck clerk’s child.” 

“ I think it’s mean of you to talk like that, father,” said 
Esther, her eyes flashing. “ It’s mean of you, and unkind 
to my poor mother, who was a lady born.” 

“ I don’t know much about that,” replied Helps, look- 
ing more despondent than ever. “ She was the best of 
little wives, and if she was born a lady, which I ain’t going 
to deny, for I don’t know she warn’t a lady bred, I mind 
me she thought it a fine bit of a rise to leave off teaching 
the baker’s children, and come home to me. Poor little 
Essie — poor, dear little Essie. You don’t take much after 
her, Esther, my girl.” 

“ If she was spiritless, and had no mind for her duties, 
which were in my opinion to uphold her station in life, I 
don’t want to take after her,” answered Esther, and she 
flounced out of the room. 

Helps looked round in an appealing way at Cherry. 

“ I don’t want to part with her,” he said, “but it will be 
a good thing for us all when Essie is wed. I must try and 
find some decent young fellow who will be likely to take a 
fancy to her. Her words fret me on account of their am- 
bition, Cherry, child.” 

“ I wouldn’t be put out if I was you, uncle,” responded 
Cherry in her even, matter-of-fact voice. “ Esther is took 
up with a whim, and it will pass. It’s all on account of 
the chevalier.” 

“ The what, child ? ” 

“ The chevalier. Oh, my sakes alive, there’s the milk 
boiling all over the place, and my hearth done up so beau- 
tiful. Here, catch hold of this saucepan, uncle, while I fetch 

8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


114 

a cloth to wipe up. My word, ain’t this provoking. I 
thought to get time to learn a verse or two out of the 
poetry book to-night ; but no such luck — I’ll be brushing 
and blacking till bed-time.” 

In the confusion which ensued, Helps forgot to ask 
Cherry whom she meant by the chevalier. 

A few days after this, as Helps was coming home late, 
he was rather dismayed to find his daughter returning also, 
accompanied by a young man who was no better dressed 
than half the young men with whom she walked, but who 
had a certain air and a certain manner which smote upon 
the father’s heart with a dull sense of apprehension. 

“ Essie, my girl,” he said, when she had bidden her 
swain good-bye, and had come into the house, with her eyes 
sparkling and her whole face looking so bright and beau- 
tiful, that even Cherry dropped her poetry book to gaze 
in admiration. “ Essie,” said Helps, all the tenderness of 
the love he bore her trembling in his voice, “ come here. 
Kiss your old father. You love him, don’t you? ” 

“ Why, dad, what a question. I should rather think I 
did.” 

“ You wouldn’t hurt him now, Essie ? You wouldn’t 
break his heart, for instance ? ” 

“ I break your heart, dad? Is it likely? Now, what 
can the old man be driving at ? ” she said, looking across 
at Cherry. 

“ It’s this,” responded Helps, “ I want to know the name 
of the fellow — yes, the — the fellow, who saw you home just 
now ? ” 

“ Now, father, mightn’t he be Mr. Gray, or Mr. Jones, 
or Mr. Abbott ; some of those nice young men you bring 
up now and then from the city ? Why mightn’t he be one 
of them, father ? ” 

“ But he wasn’t, my dear. The young men you speak of 
are honest lads, every one of them. I wouldn’t have no 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


"5 


sort of objection to your walking with them, Esther. It 
wasn’t none of my friends from the city I saw you with to- 
night, Essie.” 

“ And why shouldn’t this be an honest fellow, too ? ” 
answered Esther, her eyes sparkling dangerously ? 

“ I don’t know, my dear. I didn’t like the looks of him. 
What’s his name, Essie, my love ? ” 

“ Captain Herriot, of the Hussars.” 

11 There ! Esther, you’re not to walk with Captain 
Herriot any more. You’re not to know him. I won’t 
have it — so now.” 

“ Highty-tighty ! ” said Esther. “ There are two to say 
a word to that bargain, father. And pray, why may I walk 
with Mr. Jones and not with Captain Herriot ? Captain 
Herriot’s a real gentleman, and Mr. Jones ain’t.” 

“ And that’s the reason, my child. If Jones walked with 
you, he’d maybe — yes, I’m sure of it — he’d want all his 
heart and soul to make you his honest wife some day. Do 
you suppose Captain Herriot wants to make you his wife, 
Essie ? ” 

“ I don’t say. I won’t be questioned like that.” Her 
whole pale face was in a flame. “ Maybe we never thought 
of such a thing, but just to be friends, and to have a plea- 
sant time. It’s cruel of you to talk like that, father.” 

“ Well, then, I won’t, my darling, I won’t. Just promise 
you’ll have nothing more to say to the fellow. I’d believe 
your word against the world, Essie.” 

11 Against the world? Would you really, dad? I 
wouldn’t, though, if I were you. No, I ain’t going to make 
a promise I might break.” She went out of the room, she 
was crying. 

A short time after this, indeed the very day after Lilias 
Wyndham’s visit to London, Gerald noticed that Helps 
followed his every movement as he came father languidly 
in and out of the office, with dull imploring eyes. The 


116 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


old clerk was particularly busy that morning, he was kept 
going here, there, and everywhere. Work of all kinds, 
work of the most unexpected and unlooked for nature 
seemed to descend to-day with the force of a sledge hammer 
on his devoted head. 

Gerald saw that he was dying to speak to him, and at 
the first opportunity he took him aside, and asked him if 
there was anything he could do for him. 

“ Oh, yes, Mr. Wyndham, you can, you can. Oh, thank 
the good Lord for bringing you over to speak to me when 
no one was looking. You can save Esther for me — that’s 
what you can do, Mr. Wyndham. No one can save her 
but you. So you will, sir; oh, you will. She’s my only 
child, Mr. Wyndham.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


117 


CHAPTER XXI. 

“ I will certainly do what I can,” responded Wyndham, 
in his grave, courteous voice. 

He was leaning against the window-ledge in a careless 
attitude ; Helps, looking up at him anxiously, noticed how 
pale and wan his face was. 

“ Ah,” he responded, rising from his seat, and going up 
to the younger man. “ ’Tis them as bears burdens knows 
how to pity. Thank the Lord there’s compensation in all 
things. Now look here, Mr. Wyndham, this is how things 
are. You have seen my Essie, she’s troublesome and 
spirited — oh, no one more so. ” 

Helps paused. 

“ Yes, answered Gerald, in a quiet, waiting voice. He 
was not particularly interested in the discussion of Esther 
Helps’ character. 

“ And she’s beautiful, Mr. Wyndham. Aye, there’s her 
curse. Beautiful and hambitious and not a lady, and dying 
to be one. You understand, Mr. Wyndham — you must 
understand.” 

Wyndham said nothing. 

“ Well, a month or so ago I found out there was a gen- 
tleman — at least a man who called himself a gentleman — 
walking with her, and filling her head with nonsense. His 
name was Herriot, a captain in the Hussars. I told 
her she was to have nought to say to him, but I soon found 
that she disobeyed me. Then I had to spy on her — you 
may think how I felt, but it had to be done. I found that 
she walked with him, and met him at all hours. I made 
inquiries about his character, and I found he was a 
scoundrel, a bad fellow out and out. He’d be sure to break 


1 1 8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


my Essie’s heart if he did no worse. Then I was in a 
taking, for the girl kept everything in, and would scarcely 
brook me so much as to look at her. I was that upset 
that I took Cherry into my confidence She’s a very good 
girl, is Cherry — the Lord hasn’t cursed her with no beauty. 
Last week she brought me word that Esther was going to 
the Gaiety with Captain Herriot, that he had taken two 
stalls and they were to have a fine time. She said Esther 
was almost out of her mind with delight, as it was always 
her dream to be seen at the theatre, beautifully dressed, 
with a real gentleman. She had shown the tickets to 
Cherry, and Cherry was smart enough to take the numbers 
and keep them in the back of her head. She told me, and 
I can tell you, Mr. Wyndham, I was fit to kill someone. I 
went straight off to the Gaiety office, and by good luck or 
the grace of God, I found there was a vacant stall next 
to Esther’s — -just one, and no more. I paid for that stall, 
here’s the ticket in my pocket.” 

“ Yes,” said Wyndham. “ and you mean to go with 
Esther to-night ? A very good idea — excellent. But how 
will she take it ? ” 

“ How will she take it, Mr. Wyndham? I feel fit to pull 
my grey hairs out. How would she have taken it, you 
mean ? For it’s all a thing of the past, sir. Oh, I had it all 
planned fine. I was to wait until she and that fellow had 
taken their places, and then I’d come in quite natural, and 
sit down beside her, and answer none of her questions, 
only never leave her, no, not for a quarter of a minute. 
And if he spoke up, the ruffian, I had my reply for him. I’d 
stay quiet enough till we got outside, and then just one 
blow in the middle of his face — yes, just one, to relieve a 
father’s feelings. Then home with my girl, and I think it’s 
more than likely we wouldn’t have been troubled with no 
more of Captain Herriot’s attentions.” 

Helps paused again. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . li$ 

“You speak in the past tense,” said Gerald. “Why 
cannot^you carry out this excellent programme ? ” 

“ That’s it, sir, that’s what about maddens me. 1 came 
to the office this morning, and what has happened hasn’t 
happened this three months past. There’s business come 
in of a nature that no one can tackle but myself. Business 
of a private character, and yet what may mean the loss or 
gain of thousands. Oh, I can’t explain it, Mr. Wyndham, 
even though you are a partner ; there are things that con- 
fidential clerks know that are hid from junior partners. I 
can’t leave here till eleven o’clock to-night, Mr. Wyndham, 
and if you don’t help me Esther may be a lost girl. Yes, 
there’s no mincing matters — lost, beyond hope. Will you 
help me, Mr. Wyndham ? I’ll go mad if my only girl, my 
beautiful girl, comes to that.” 

“ I ? Can I help you ? ” asked Wyndham. There was 
hesitation and distress in his voice. He saw that he was 
going to be asked to do something unpleasant. 

“ You can to this, sir. You can make it all right. Bless 
you, sir, who’s there to see ? And you go with the best 
intentions. You go in a noble cause. You can afford to 
risk that much, Mr. Wyndham. I want you to take my 
place at the Gaiety to-night ; take my ticket and go there. 
Talk pleasant to Esther : not much, but just a little, 
nothing to rouse her suspicions. Let her think it was just 
a coincidence your being there. Then, just at the end, 
give her this letter from me. I’ve said a thing in it that 
will startle her. She’ll get a fright and turn to you. Put 
her into a cab then, and bring her here. You can sit on 
the box if you like. That’s all. Put her into my arms 
and your task is done. Here’s the ticket and the letter. 
Do it, Mr. Wyndham, and God will bless you. Yes, yes, 
my poor young sir — He’ll bless you.” 

“ Don’t talk of God when you speak of me,” said Wynd- 
ham. “ Something has happened which closes the door of 


120 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


religion for me. The door between God and me is closed. 
I am still open, however, to the call of humanity. You 
want me to go to the Gaiety to-night to save your daughter. 
It is very probable that if I went I should save her. I am 
engaged, however, for to-night. My sister is in town. We 
are going to make a party to the Haymarket.” 

“ Oh, sir, what of that ? Send a telegram to say you 
have an engagement. Think of Esther. Think what it 
means if you fail me now.” 

“ I do think of it, Helps. I will do what you want. 
Give me the letter and the theatre ticket.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


121 


CHAPTER XXII. 

Valentine was delighted to have Lilias as her companion. 
She was in excellent spirits just now, and Lilias and she 
enjoyed going about together. They had adventures 
which pleased them both, such simple adventures as 
come to poorer girls every day — a ride in an omnibus to 
Kew, an excursion up the river to Battersea in a penny 
steamer, and many other mild intoxicants of this nature. 
Sometimes Gerald came with them, but oftener they went 
alone. They laughed and chatted at these times, and 
people looked at them, and thought them two particularly 
merry good-looking school-girls. 

Valentine was very fond of going to the theatre, and of 
course one of the principal treats in store for Lilias was a 
visit to the play. Valentine decided that they would goto 
some entertainment of a theatrical character nearly every 
evening. On the day of Helps’ strange request to Wynd- 
ham they were to see Captain Swift at the Haymarket. 
Mr. Paget had taken a box for the occasion, and Val- 
entine’s last injunction to her husband was to beg of him 
to be home in good time so that they might have dinner 
in peace, and reach the Haymarket before the curtain 
rose. 

Lilias and she trotted about most of the morning, and 
sat cosily now in the pretty drawing-room in Park Lane, 
sipping their tea, examining their purchases, or chatting 
about dress, and sundry other trivial matters after the 
fashion of light-hearted girls. 

Presently Valentine pulled a tiny watch out of her 

belt. 


122 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ Gerald is late,” she said. “ He promised faithfully to 
be in to tea, and it is now six o’clock. We dine at half- 
past. Had we not better go and dress, Lilias ? ” 

Lilias was standing on the hearthrug, she glanced at 
the clock, then into the ruddy flames, then half-impatiently 
towards the door. 

“ Oh, wait a moment or two,” she said. “ If Gerald 
'promised to come he is safe to be here directly. I never 
met such a painfully conscientious fellow ; he would not 
break his word even in a trifle like this for all the world. 
Give him three minutes longer. You surely will not take 
half-an-hour to dress.” 

“ How solemnly you speak, Lilias,” responded Val- 
entine. “ If Gerald is late, that could scarcely be con- 
sidered a breaking of his word. I mean in a promise of 
that kind one never knows how one may be kept. That 
is always understood, of course.” 

There came a pealing ring and a double knock at the 
door, and a moment after the page entered with a telegram 
which he handed to his mistress. Valentine tore the yellow 
envelope open, and read the contents of the pink sheet. 

“ No answer, Masters,” she said to the boy. Then she 
she turned to Lilias. “ Gerald can’t go with us to-night. 
He is engaged. You see, of course, he would not break 
his word, Lilias. He is unavoidably- prevented coming. 
It is too bad.” 

Some of the brightness went out of her face, and her 
spirits went down a very little. 

(i Well, it can’t be helped,” she said, “ only I am disap- 
pointed.” 

“ So am I, awfully disappointed,” responded Lilias. 

Then the two went slowly upstairs to change their 
dresses. 

When they came down again, Mr. Paget, who was to 
dine with them, was waiting in the drawing-room. There 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


123 


was a suppressed excitement, a suppressed triumph in his 
eyes, which, however, only made him look more particu- 
larly bright and charming. 

When Valentine came in in the pure white which gave her 
such a girlish and even pathetically innocent air, he went 
up and kissed her almost fiercely. He put his arm round 
her waist and drew her close to him, and looked into 
her eyes with a sense of possession which frightened her; 
For the first time in all her existence she half shrank from 
the father whom she idolized. She was scarcely conscious 
of her own shrinking, of the undefinable something which 
made her set herself free, and stand on the hearthrug by 
Lilias’ side. 

“ I don’t see your husband, my pet,” said Mr. Paget. 
“ He ought to have come home long before now, that is, if 
he means to come with us to-night.” 

“ But he doesn’t, father,” said Valentine. “ That’s just 
the grief. I had a telegram from him, half-an-hour ago ; 
he is unavoidably detained.” 

Mr. Paget raised his eyebrows. 

“ Not at the office,” he said, in a markedly grave voice, 
and with another significant raise of his brows. “ That I 
know, for he left before I did. Ah, well, young men will 
be young men.” 

Neither Valentine nor Lilias knew why they both flushed 
lip hotly, and left a wider space between them and Valen- 
tine’s handsome father. 

He did not take the least notice of this movement on 
both their parts, but went on in a very smooth, cheerful 
voice. 

“ Perhaps Gerald does not miss as much as he thought,” 
he said. u Since I saw you this morning, Val, our pro- 
gramme has been completely altered. We go to Captain 
Swift to-morrow night. I went to the office and exchanged 
the box. To-night we go to the Gaiety. I have been 


124 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


fortunate in securing one of the best boxes in the whole 
house, and Monte Christo Junior is well worth seeing.” 

“ I don’t know that I particularly care for the Gaiety, 
father,” said Valentine. “ How very funny of you to 
change our programme.” 

“ Well, the fact is, some business friends of mine who 
were just passing through town were particularly anxious 
to see Captain Swift , so as I could oblige them, I did. It 
is all the better for your husband, Valentine ; he won’t miss 
this fine piece of drama.” 

“No, that is something to be thankful for,” responded 
Valentine. “ But I’m sorry you selected the Gaiety as an 
exchange. I don’t think Lilias will care for Monte Christo . 
However, it can’t be helped now, and dinner waits. Shall 
we go downstairs ? ” 

Mr. Paget and his party were in good time in their 
places. Valentine took a seat rather far back in the box, 
but her father presently coaxed her to come to the 
front, supplied both her and Lilias with opera glasses, and 
encouraged both girls to look about them, and watch the 
different people who were gradually filing into their places 
in the stalls. 

Mr. Paget himself neither wore glasses nor aided his 
vision with an opera glass. His face was slightly flushed, 
and his eyes, keen and bright, travelled round the house, 
taking in everything, not passing over a single individual. 

Valentine was never particularly curious about her neigh- 
bors, and as Lilias knew no one, they both soon leant back 
in their chairs, and talked softly to one another. 

The curtain rose, and each girl bent forward to see and 
enjoy. The rest of the house was now comparatively dark, 
but just before the lights were lowered, Mr. Paget might 
have been heard to give a faint quick sigh of relief. 

A tall girl in cream-color and soft furs walked slowly 
down the length of stalls, and took her place in such a 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


125 


position that Valentine could scarcely look down without 
seeing her. This girl’s beauty was so marked that many 
eyes were turned in her direction as she appeared. She 
was very regal looking, very quiet and dignified in manner. 
Her features were classical and pure in outline, and her 
head, with its wealth of raven black hair, was splendidly 
set. 

She was accompanied by a tall, fairly good-looking man 
who sat next to her. 

When the curtain rose and the lights were lowered the 
stall at her other side was vacant. 

Mr. Paget felt his heart beat a trifle too fast. Would 
that stall be full or empty when the curtain dropped at the 
close of the first act? Would his heart’s desire, his wicked 
and treacherous heart’s desire be torn from him in the very 
moment of apparent fruition. Suppose Gerald did not put 
in an appearance at the Gaiety? Suppose at the eleventh 
hour he changed his mind and resolved to leave Esther 
Helps to her fate ? Suppose — pshaw ! — where was the use 
of supposing? To leave a girl to her fate would not be his 
chivalrous fool of a son-in-law’s way. No, it was all right ; 
even now he could dimly discern a faint commotion in the 
neighborhood of Esther Helps — the kind of commotion 
incident on the arrival of a fresh person, the gentle soft 
little movement made by the other occupants of the stalls 
to let the new comer, who was both late and tiresome, take 
his reserved seat in comfort. Mr. Paget sank back in his 
seat with a sensation of relief; he had not listened for 
nothing behind an artfully concealed curtain that morning. 

The play proceeded. Much as he had said about it 
beforehand, it had no interest for Mr. Paget. He scarcely 
troubled to look at the stage. There was no room in his 
heart that moment for burlesque : he was too busily engaged 
over his own terrible life’s drama. On the result of this 
night more or less depended all his future happiness. 


126 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ If she turns back to me after what she sees to-night 
then I can endure/’ he said to himself. “ I can go on to 
the bitter end — if not — well, there are more expedients 
than one for a ruined man to throw up the sponge.” 

The curtain fell, the theatre was in a blaze of light ; 
Valentine and Lilias sank back in their seats and began to 
fan themselves. They had been pleased and amused. 
Lilias, indeed, had laughed so heartily that the tears came 
to her eyes. 

“ I hate to cry when I laugh,” she said, taking out her 
handkerchief to wipe them away. “ It’s a tiresome trick 
we all have in our family, Gerald and all.” 

She had a habit of bringing in Gerald’s name whenever 
she spoke of her family, as if he were the topmost stone, 
the crowning pride and delight. 

Mr. Paget had his back slightly turned to the girls. Once 
more he was devouring the stalls with his eager bright eyes. 
Yes, Gerald Wyndham was in his stall. He was leaning 
back, not exerting himself much ; he looked nonchalant and 
strikingly handsome. Mr. Paget did not wish him to appear 
too nonchalant when Valentine first caught sight of him. 
No — ah, that was better. Esther was turning to speak to 
him. By Jove, what a face the girl had ! 

Mr. Paget had often seen Helps’ only daughter, for he 
found it convenient occasionally to call to see Helps at 
Acadia Villa. But he had never before seen her dress 
becomingly, and he was positively startled at the pure, high 
type of her beauty. At this distance her common accent, 
her poor uneducated words, could not grate. All her ges- 
tures were graceful ; she looked up at Gerald, said some- 
thing, smiled, then lowered her heavy black lashes. 

It was at that moment, just as Wyndham was bending 
forward to reply to her remark, and she was leaning 
slightly away from her other cavalier, so that he scarcely 
seemed to belong to her party, that Valentine, tired of doing 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


127 


nothing, came close to her father, and allowed her eyes to 
wander round the house. Suddenly she uttered a surprised 
exclamation. 

“ Look, father, look J Is that Gerald ? Who is with him ? 
Who is he talking to ? How is it that he comes to be here ? 
Yes, it is Gerald ! Oh, what a lovely girl he is talking 
to ! ” 

Valentine’s words were emphatic and slightly agitated, 
for she was simply overpowered with astonishment, but 
they were spoken in a low key. Lilias did not hear them. 
She was reading her programme over for the twentieth 
time, and wondering when the curtain would rise and the 
play go on. 

“ Look, father,” continued Valentine, clutching her 
father’s arm. “Isn’t that Gerald? How strange of him to 
be here. Who can he be talking to ? I don’t know her — 
do you ? Do you see him, father ? Won’t you go down and 
tell him we are here, and bring him up — and — and — the 
lady who is with him. Go, please, father t you see where he 
is, don’t you ? ” 

“ I do, my child. I have seen him for some time past. 
Would you like to come home, Valentine ? ” 

“ Home ! What in the world do you mean ? How queer 
you look ! Is there anything wrong ? Who is with Gerald ? 
Who is he talking to ? How lovely she is. I wish she 
would look up again.” 

“ That girl is not a lady, Valentine. She is Esther Helps 
— you have heard of her. Yes, now I understand why 
your husband could not come with us to the Haymarket 
to-night. My poor child ! Don’t look at them again, 
Valentine, my darling.” 

Valentine looked full into her father’s eyes ; full, long, 
and steadily she gazed. Then slowly, very slowly, a crimson 
flood of color suffused her whole face ; it receded, leaving 
her deathly pale. She moved away from her father and 
took a back seat behind Lilias. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


12S 

The curtain rose again, the play continued. Lilias was 
excited, and wanted to pull Valentine to the front. 

“ No,” she said. “ My head aches ; I don’t care to look 
any more.” 

She sat back in her seat, very white and very calm. 

“ Would you like to come home ? ” said her father, bend- 
ing across to her, and speaking in a voice which almost 
trembled with the emotion he felt. 

“ No,” she said in reply, and without raising her eyes. 
“ I will sit the play out till the end.” 

When the curtain fell again she roused herself with an 
effort and coaxed Lilias to come into the back of the box 
with her. The only keen anxiety she was conscious of was 
to protect her husband from Lilias’ astonished eyes. 

Mr. Paget felt well satisfied. He had managed to convey 
his meaning to his innocent child’s heart ; an insinuation, 
a fall of the voice, a look in the eyes, had opened up a gulf 
on the brink of which Valentine drew back shuddering. 

“ I was only beginning to love him ; it doesn’t so much 
matter,” she said many times to herself. Even now she 
thought no very bad things of her husband ; that is no 
very bad things according to the world’s code. To her, 
however, they were black. He had deceived her — he had 
made her a promise and broken it. Why ? Because he 
liked to spend the evening with another girl more beauti- 
ful than herself. 

“ Oh, no, I am not jealous,” said Valentine, softly under 
her breath. “ I won’t say anything to him either about it, 
poor fellow. It does not matter to me, not greatly. I was 
only beginning to love him. Thank God there is always 
my dear old father.” 

When the curtain rose for the final act of the play, 
Valentine moved her chair so that she could slightly lean 
against Mr. Paget. He took her hand and squeezed it. 
He felt that he had won the victory. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


129 


CHAPTER XXIII. 

Gerald had found his task most uncongenial. In the first 
place he was disappointed at not spending the evening with 
Valentine and Lilias. In the second the close proximity of 
such a girl as Esther Helps could not but be repugnant to 
him. Still she was a woman, a woman in danger, and her 
father had appealed to him to save her. Had he been or- 
dained for the Church, such work — ah, no, he must not think 
of what his life would have been then. After all, it was good 
of the distracted father to trust him, and he must not 
betray the trust. 

He went to the theatre and acquitted himself with extreme 
tact and diplomacy. When Gerald chose to exert himself 
his manner had a quieting effect, a compelling, and almost 
a commanding effect on women. Esther became quiet and 
gentle ; she talked* to Captain Herriot, but not noisily ; she 
laughed, her laugh was low and almost musical. Nowand 
then her quick eyes glanced at Wyndham ; she felt thirsty 
for even his faintest approval — he bestowed it by neither 
word nor movement. 

As they were leaving the theatre, however, and the gallant 
captain, who inwardly cursed that insufferable prig who 
happened to have a slight acquaintance with his beautiful 
Esther, grew cheerful under the impression that now his 
time for enjoyment was come, Gerald said in a low, grave 
voice : — 

“ Your father has given me a letter for you. Pray be 
quiet, don’t excite yourself. It is necessary that you should 
go to your father directly. Allow me to see you into a cab. 
Your father is waiting for you— it is urgent that you should 
join him at once.” 


9 


130 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Scarcely knowing why she did it, Esther obeyed. She 
murmured some eager agitated words to Captain Herriot ; 
she was subdued, frightened, shaken ; as Gerald helped her 
into a cab he felt her slim fingers tremble in his. He took 
his seat upon the box beside the driver, and ten minutes 
later had delivered Esther safely to her father. His task 
was done, he did not wait to hear a word of Helps’ profuse 
thanks. He drew a sigh of relief as he hurried home. 
Soon he would be with his wife — the wife whom he idolized 
— the wife who was beginning to return his love. Suppose 
her passion went on and deepened ? Suppose a day 
came when to part from him would be a sorer trial than 
poverty or dishonor ! Oh, if such a day came — he might 
— ah, he must not think in that direction. He pushed his 
hand through his thick hair, leant back in his cab, and 
shut his eyes. 

When he reached the little house in Park-lane he found 
that the lights in the drawing-room were out, and the gas 
turned low in the hall. He was later even than he had 
intended to be. The other theatre-goers had returned 
home and gone to bed. He wondered how they had 
enjoyed Captain Swift. For himself he had not the least 
idea of what he had been looking at at the Gaiety. 

He let himself in with a latch-key, and ran up at once to 
his room. He wanted to kiss Valentine, to look into her 
eyes, which seemed to him to grow sweeter and softer 
every day. He opened the door eagerly and looked round 
the cheerful bedroom. 

Valentine was not there. 

He called her. She was not in the dressing-room. 

“ She is with Lilias,” he said to himself. “ How these 
two young things love to chatter.” 

He sat down in an easy chair by the fire, content to 
wait until, his wife should return. He was half inclined to 
tell her what he had been doing ; he had a great longing 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


* 3 * 

to confide in her in all possible ways, for she had both 
brains and sense, but he restrained himself. The subject 
was not one he cared to discuss with his young wife, and, 
besides, the secret belonged to Esther and to her father. 

He made up his mind to say nothing about it. He had 
no conception then what this silence was to cost him, and 
how different all his future life might have been had he 
told his wife the truth that night. 

Presently Valentine returned. Her face was flushed, 
and her eyes had an unquiet troubled expression. She 
had been to Lilias with a somewhat strange request. 

“ Lilias, I want you to promise me something, to ask no 
questions, but just like a kind and truthful sister to make 
me a faithful promise.” 

“ You look strange, Valentine ; what do you want me to 
promise ? ” 

“ Will you promise it ? ” 

“ If I can, I will promise, to please you ; but I never 
make promises in the dark.” 

“ Oh, there’s Gerald’s step, I must go. Lilias, I’ve a very 
particular reason, I cannot explain it to you. I want you 
not to tell Gerald, now or at any time, that we were at the 
Gaiety to-night.” 

“ My dear Val, how queer ! Why shouldn’t poor Gerald 
know ? And you look so strange. You are trembling.” 

“ I am. I’m in desperate earnest. Will you promise ? ” 

" Yes, yes, you silly child, if you set such store on an 
utterly ridiculous promise you shall have it. Only if I were 
you, Valentine, I wouldn’t begin even to have such tiny 
little secrets as that from my husband. I wouldn’t, Val ; 
it isn’t wise — it isn’t really.” 

Valentine neither heard nor heeded these last words. 
She gave Lilias a hasty, frantic kiss, and rushed back to 
her own room. 

“Now,” she said to herself, “now — now — now— if he 
tells me everything, every single thing, all may be well. I 


* 3 2 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


won’t ask him a question ; but if he tells, tells of his own 
accord, all may be quite well yet. Oh, how my heart 
beats ! It is good I have not learned to love him any 
better.” 

Gerald rose up at her entrance and went to meet her 
eagerly. 

“ Ah, here’s my bright little wife,” he said. “ Give me a 
kiss, Valentine.” 

She gave it, and allowed him to fold her in his arms. She 
was almost passive, but her heart beat hard — she was so 
eagerly waiting for him to speak. 

“Sit down by the fire, darling. I don’t like long even- 
ings spent away from you, Val. How did you enjoy Cap- 
tain Swift ? ” 

“ We didn’t go to the Haymarket; no, we are going to- 
morrow. Father thought it a pity you should miss such a 
good play.” 

“Then where did you go? You and Lil did not stay at 
home the whole evening? ” 

“ No, father took us to another theatre. I can’t tell you 
the name ; don’t ask me. I hate theatres — I detest them. 
I never want to go inside one again as long as I live ! ” 

“ How strongly you talk, my dear little Val. Perhaps 
you found it dull to-night because your husband was not 
with you.” 

She moved away with a slight little petulant gesture. 
When would he begin to speak ? 

Gerald wondered vaguely what had put his sweet-tem- 
pered Valentine out. He stirred the fire, and then stood 
with his back to it. She looked up at him, his face was 
very grave, very calm. Her own Gerald — he had a nice 
face. Surely there was nothing bad behind that face. Why 
was he silent? Why didn’t he begin to tell his story ? Well 
she would — she would — help him a little. 

She cleared her throat, she essayed twice to find her 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


*33 

voice. When it came out at last it was small and timo- 
rous. 

“Was it — was it business kept you from coming with 
me to-night, Gerry ? ” 

“ Business ? Yes, my darling, certainly.” 

Her heart went down with a great bound. But she would 
give him another chance. 

“Was it — was it business connected with the office P ” 

“ You speak in quite a queer voice, Valentine. In a 
measure it was business connected with the office — in a 
measure it was not. What is it, Valentine ? What is it, 
my dear? ” 

She had risen from her seat, put her arms round his neck, 
and laid her soft young head on his shoulder. 

“ Tell me the business, Gerry. Tell your own Val. 

He kissed her many times. 

“ It doesn’t concern you, my dear wife,” he said. “ I 
would tell you gladly, were I not betraying a trust. I had 
some painful work to do to-night, Valentine. Yes, business, 
certainly. I cannot tell it, dear. Yes, what was that you 
said ? ” 

For she had murmured “ Hypocrite ! ” under her breath. 
Very low she had said it, too faintly for him to catch the 
word. But he felt her loving arms relax. He saw her 
face grow grave and cold, something seemed to go out of 
her eyes which had rendered them most lovely. It was 
the wounded soul going back into solitude, and hiding its 
grief and shame in an inmost recess of her being. 

Would Gerald ever see the soul, the soul of love, in his 
wife’s eyes again ? 


*34 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


CHAPTER XXIV. 

A few days after the events related in the .ast chapter Mr. 
Paget asked his son-in-law to have a few minutes’ private 
conversation with him. Once more the young man found 
himself in that inner room at the rich merchant’s office 
which represented more or less a torture-chamber to him. 
Once more Valentine’s untroubled girlish innocent eyes 
looked out of Richmond’s beautiful picture of her. 

Wyndham hated this room, he almost hated that picture ; 
it had surrounded itself with terrible memories. He 
turned his head away from it now as he obeyed Mr. Paget’s 
summons. 

“ It’s this, Gerald,” said his father-in-law. “ When a 
thing has to be done the sooner the better. 1 mean no- 
body cares to make a long operation of the drawing of a 
tooth for instance ! ” 

“An insufficient metaphor,” interrupted Wyndham 
roughly. “ Say, rather, the plucking out of a right eye, or 
the cutting off a right hand. As you say, these operations 
had better be got quickly over.” 

“ I think so — I honestly think so. It would convenience 
me if you sailed in the Esperance on the 25 th of March 
for Sydney. There is a bond fide reason for your going. 
I want you to sample ” 

“Hush,” interrupted Wyndham. “The technicalities 
and the gloss and all that kind of humbug can come later. 
You want me to sail on the 25th of March. That is the 
main point. When last you spoke of it, I begged of you 
as a boon to give me an extension of grace, say until May 
or June. It was understood by us, although there was no 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


135 


sealed bond in the matter, that my wife and I should spend 
a year together before this — this temporary parting took 
place. I asked you at one time to shorten my season of 
grace, but a few weeks ago I asked you to extend it.” 

“ Precisely, Wyndham, and I told you I would grant 
your wish, if possible. I asked you to announce to your 
own relatives that you would probably have to go away in 
March, for a time ; but I said I would do my utmost to 
defer the evil hour. I am sorry to say that I cannot do so. 
I have had news from India which obliges me to hasten 
matters. Such a good opportunity as the business which 
takes you out in the Esptra?ice will pfobably not occur 
again. It would be madness not to avail ourselves of it. 
Do not you think so ? My dear fellow, do take a chair.” 

“ Thank you, I prefer to stand. This day — what is this 
day ? ” He raised his eyes ; they rested on the office 
calendar. “ This day is the 24th of February. A spring- 
like day, isn’t it ? Wonderful for the time of year. I have, 
then, one month and one day to live. Are these Valen- 
tine’s violets ? I will help myself to a few. Let me say 
good-morning, sir.” 

He bowed courteously — no one could be more courteous 
than Gerald Wyndham — and left the room. 

His astonished father in-law almost gasped when he 
found himself alone. 

“ Upon my word,” he said to himself, “ there’s something 
about that fellow that’s positively uncanny. I only trust 
I’ll be preserved from being haunted by his ghost. My 
God ! what a retribution that would be. Wyndham would 
be awful as a ghost. I suppose I shall have retribution 
some day. I know I’m a wicked man. Hypocritical, cun- 
ning, devilish. Yes, I’m all that. Who’d have thought that 
soft-looking lad would turn out to be all steel and venom. 

I hate him — and yet, upon my soul, I admire him. He 
does more for the woman he loves than I do — than I could 
do. The woman we both love . His wife — my child.” 


136 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ There, I’ll get soft myself if I indulge in these thoughts 
any longer. Now is the time for him to go. Valentine 
has turned from him; any fool can see that. Now is the 
time to get him out of the way. How lucky that I over- 
heard Helps that day. Never was there a more oppor- 
tune thing.” 

Mr. Paget went home early that evening. Valentine 
was dining with him. Lately, within the last few weeks, 
she often came over alone to spend the evening with her 
father. 

“ Where’s your husband, my pet ? ” the old man used to 
say to her on these occasions. 

And she always answered him in a bright though some- 
what hard little voice. 

“ Oh, Gerald is such a book-worm — he is devouring one 
of those abstruse treatises on music. I left him buried in 
it,” or, “ Gerald is going out this evening,” or, “ Gerald 
isn’t well, and would like to stay quiet, so ” — the end was 
invariably the same — “ I thought I’d come and have a cosy 
chat with you, dad.” 

“ And no one more welcome — no one in all the wide 
world more welcome,” Mortimer Paget would answer, 
glancing, with apparent pleased unconcern, but with secret 
anxiety, at his daughter’s face. 

The glance always satisfied him ; she looked bright and 
well — a little hard, perhaps — well, the blow must affect her 
in some way. What had taken place at the Gaiety would 
leave some results even on the most indifferent heart. The 
main result, however, was well. Valentine’s dawning love 
had changed to indifference. Had she cared for her hus-. 
band passionately, had her whole heart been given into his 
keeping, she must have been angry ; she must have 
mourned. 

As, evening after evening, Mr. Paget came to this coni 
elusion, he invariably gave vent to a sigh of relief. He 
never guessed that if he could wear a mask, so also could 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*37 


his child. He never even suspected that beneath Valen- 
tine’s gay laughter, under the soft shining of her clear eyes, 
under her smiles, her light easy words, lay a pain, lay an 
ache, which ceased not to trouble her day and night. 

Mr. Paget came home early. Valentine was waiting for 
him in the drawing-room. 

“We shall have a cosy evening, father,” she said. “ Oh, 
no, Gerald can’t come. He says he has some letters to 
write. I think he has a headache, too. I’d have stayed 
with him, only he prefers being quiet. Well, we’ll have a 
jolly evening together. Kiss me, dad.” 

He did kiss her, then she linked his hand in her arm, 
and they went downstairs and dined together, as they used 
to do in the old days before either of them had heard of 
Gerald Wyndham. 

“ Let us come into the library to-night,” said Valentine. 
“ You know there is no room like the library to me.” 

“ Nor to me,” said Mr. Paget brightly. “ It reminds me 
of when you were a child, my darling.” 

“ Ah, well, I’m not a child now, I’m a woman.” 

She kept back the sigh which rose to her lips. 

“ I think I like being a child best, only one never can 
have the old childish time back again.” 

“ Who knows, Val ? Perhaps we may. If you have 
spoiled your teeth enough over those filberts, shall we go 
mto the library? I have something to tell you — a little 
bit of news.” 

“ All right, you shall tell it sitting in your old arm- 
chair. ” 

She flitted on in front, looking quite like the child she 
more or less still was. 

“ Now isn’t this perfect ? ” she said, when the door was 
shut, Mr. Paget established in his arm-chair, and the two 
pairs of eyes fixed upon the glowing fire. “ Isn’t this 
perfect ? ” 


38 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“Yes, my darling — perfect. Valentine, there is no love 
in all the world like a father’s for his child.” 

“No greater love has come to me,” replied Valentine 
slowly; and now some of the pain at her heart, notwith- 
standing all her brave endeavors, did come into her face. 
“No greater love has come to me, but I can imagine, yes, 
I can imagine a mightier.” 

“ What do you mean, child ? ” 

“ For instance — if you loved your husband perfectly, 
and he — he loved you, and there was nothing at all between 
— and the joy of all joys was to be with him, and you were 
to feel that in thought — in word — in deed — you were one, 
not two. There, what am I saying? The wildest non- 
sense. There isn’t such a thing as a love of that sort. 
What’s your news, father?” 

“ My dear child, how intensely you speak ! ” 

“ Never mind ! Tell me what is your news, father.” 

Mr. Paget laughed, his laugh was not very comfortable. 

“ Has Gerald told you anything, Valentine ? ” 

“ Gerald ? No, nothing special ; he had a headache this 
evening.” 

“You know, Val — at least we often talked the matter 
over — that Gerald might have to go away for a time. He 
is my partner, and partners in such a firm as mine have 
often to go to the other side of the world to transact 
important business.” 

“ Yes, you and Gerald have both spoken of it. He’s not 
going soon, is he ? ” 

“ That’s it, my pet. The necessity has arisen ra'ther 
suddenly. Gerald has to sail for Sydney in about a 
month.” 

Valentine was sitting a little behind her father. He could 
not see the pallor of her face ; her voice was quite clear 
and quiet. 

“ Poor old Gerry,” she said ; “ he won’t take me, will he, 
father ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 1 39 

“ Impossible, my dear — absolutely. You surely don’t 
want to go.” 

“ No, not particularly.” 

Valentine yawned with admirable effect. 

“ She really can’t care for him at all. What a wonderful 
piece of luck,” muttered her father. 

I daresay Gerald will enjoy Sydney,” continued his 
wife. “ Is he likely to be long away ? ” 

“ Perhaps six months — perhaps not so long. Time is 
always a matter of some uncertainty in cases of this kind.” 

“ I could come back to you while he is away, couldn’t I, 
dad ? ” 

“ Why, of course, my dear one, I always intended that. 
It would be old times over again — old times over again for 
you and your father, Valentine.” 

“ Not quite, I think,” replied Valentine. “ We can’t 
go back really. Things happen, and we can’t undo them. 
Do you know, father, I think Gerald must have infected 
me with his headache. If you don’t mind, I’ll go home.” 

Mr. Paget saw his daughter back to Park lane, but he 
did not go into the house. Valentine rang the bell, and 
when Masters opened the door she asked him where her 
husband was. 

“ In the library, ma’am ; you can hear him can’t you? 
He’s practising of the violin.” 

Yes, the music of this most soul-speaking, soul-stirring 
instrument filled the house. Valentine put her finger to 
her lips to enjoin silence, and went softly along the passage 
which led to the library. The door was a little ajar — she 
could look in without being herself seen. Some sheets of 
music were scattered about on the table, but Wyndham was 
not playing from any written score. The queer melody 
which he called Waves was filling the room. Valentine 
had heard it twice before — she started and clasped her 
hands as its passion, its unutterable sadness, its despair, 


140 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


reached her. Where were the triumph notes which had 
come into it six weeks ago ? 

She turned and fled up to her room, and locking the 
door, threw herself by her bedside and burst into bitter 
weeping. 

“ Oh, Gerald, I love you ! I do love you ; but I’ll never 
show it. No, never, until you tell me the truth.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


I41 


CHAPTER XXV. 

“ Yes,” said Augusta Wyndham, “ if there is a young man 
who suits me all round it’s Mr. Carr. Yes,” she said, 
standing very upright in her short skirts, with her hair in 
a tight pig-tail hanging down her back, and her determined, 
wide open, bright eyes fixed upon an admiring audience 
of younger sisters. “ He suits me exactly. He’s a kind 
of hail-fellow-well-met ; he has no nonsensical languishing 
airs about him ; he preaches nice short sermons, and 
never bothers you to remember what they are about after- 
wards ; he’s not bad at tennis or cricket, and he really can 
cannon quite decently at billiards ; but for all that, if you 
think, you young ’uns, that he’s going to get inside of 
Gerry, or that he’s going to try to pretend to know better 
than Gerry what I can or can’t do, why you’re all finely 
mistaken, so there ! ” 

Augusta turned on her heel, pirouetted a step or two, 
whistled in a loud, free, unrestrained fashion, and once 
more faced her audience. 

“ Gerry said that I could give out the library books. 
Now is it likely that Mr. Carr knows more of my capacities 
after six months’ study than Gerry found out after fifteen 
years ? ” 

“ But Mr. Carr doesn’t study you , Gus. It’s Lilias he’s 
always looking at,” interrupted little Rosie. 

“You’re not pretty, are you, Gus?” asked Betty. 
“ Your cheeks are too red, aren’t they ? And nurse says 
your eyes are as round as an owl’s ! ” 

“ Pretty ! ” answered Augusta, in a lofty voice. “ Who 
cares for being pretty ? Who cares for being simply pink 


142 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


and white ? I’m for intellect. I’m for the marcn of mind. 
Gerry believes in me. Hurrah for Gerry ! Now, girls, off 
with your caps, throw them in the air, and shout hurrah for 
Gerry three times, as loud as you can ! ” 

“ What an extraordinary noise the children are making 
on the lawn,” said Lilias to Marjory. “ I hear Gerald’s 
name. What can they be saying about Gerald ? One 
would almost think he was coming down the avenue to see 
the state of excitement they are in ! Do look, Meg, do.” 

“ It’s only one of Gussie’s storms in a tea-cup,” res- 
ponded Marjory, cheerfully. “ I am so glad, Lil, that you 
found Gerald and Val hitting it off so nicely. You con- 
sider them quite a model pair for affection and all that, 
don’t you, pet? ” 

“ Quite,” said Lilias. “ My mind is absolutely at rest. 
One night Val puzzled me a little. Oh, nothing to speak 
off — nothing came of it, I mean. Yes, my mind is abso- 
lutely at rest, thank God ! What are all the children doing, 
Maggie ? They are flying in a body to the house. What 
can it mean ? ” 

“ We’ll know in less than no time,” responded Marjory, 
calmly. And they did. 

Four little girls, all out of breath, all dressed alike, all 
looking alike, dashed into the drawing-room, and in one 
breath poured out the direful intelligence that Augusta had 
mutinied. 

“ Mr. Carr forbade her to give away the library books,” 
they said, “ and she has gone up now to the school-room 
in spite of him. She’s off ; she said Gerry said she might 
do it, long ago. Isn’t it awful of her ? She says beauty’s 
nothing, and she’s only going to obey Gerry,” continued 
Betty. “What shall we do? She’ll give all the books 
away wrong, and Mr. Carr will be angry.” 

They all paused for want of breath. Rosie went up and 
laid her fat red hand on Lilias’ knee. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 143 

“ I said it was you he stared at,” she remarked. “ You 
wouldn’t like him to be vexed, would you ? ” 

The words had scarcely passed her lips before the door 
was opened, and the object of the children’s universal 
commiseration entered. A deep and awful silence took 
possession of them. Lilias clutched Rosie’s hand, and felt 
an inane desire to rush from the room with her. 

Too late. The terrible infant flew to Adrian Carr, and 
clasping her arms around his legs, looked up into his face. 

“ Never mind,” she said, “ it is wrong of Gussie, but it 
isn’t Lilias’ fault. She wouldn’t like to vex you, ’cause you 
stare so at her.” 

“ Nursie says that you admire Lilias ; do you ? ” asked 
Betty. 

“Oh, poor Gussie*!” exclaimed the others, their interest 
in Lilias and Carr being after all but a very secondary 
matter. “ We all do hope you won’t do anything dreadful 
to her. You can, you know. You can excommunicate 
her, can’t you ? ” 

“ But what has Augusta done ? ” exclaimed Carr, turning 
a somewhat flushed face in the direction not of Lilias, but 
of Marjory. “ What a frightful confusion — and what 
does it mean ? ” 

Marjory explained as well as she was able. Carr had 
lately taken upon himself to overhaul the books of the lend- 
ing library. He believed in literature as a very elevating 
lever, but he thought that books should not only be 
carefully selected in the mass, but in lending should be 
given with a special view to the needs of the individual who 
borrowed, Before Gerald’s marriage Marjory had given 
away the books, but since then, for various reasons, they 
had drifted into Augusta’s hands, and through their means 
this rather spirited and daring young lady had been able to 
inflict a small succession of mild tyrannies. For instance, 
poor Miss Yates, the weak-eyed and weak-spirited village 


144 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


dressmaker, was dosed with a series of profound and dull 
theology ; and Macallister, the sexton and shoemaker, a 
canny Scot, who looked upon all fiction as the “ work of the 
de’il,” was put into a weekly passion with the novels of 
Charles Reade and Wilkie Collins. 

These were extreme cases, but Augusta certainly had 
the knack of giving the wrong book to the wrong person. 
Carr heard mutterings and grumbling. The yearly sub- 
scriptions of a shilling a piece diminished, and he thought it 
full time to take the matter in hand. He himself would 
distribute the village literature every Saturday, at twelve 
o’clock. 

The day and the hour arrived, and behold Miss Augusta 
Wyndham had forestalled him, and was probably at this 
very moment putting “The Woman* in White ” into the 
enraged Macallister’s hand. Carr’s temper was not alto- 
gether immaculate ; he detached the children’s clinging 
hands from his person, and said he would pursue the truant, 
publicly take the reins of authority from her, and send her 
home humiliated. He left the rectory, walking fast, and 
letting his annoyance rather increase than diminish, for 
few young men care to be placed in a ridiculous situation, 
and he could not but feel that such was his in the present 
instance. 

The school-house was nearly half a mile from the rectory, 
along a straight and dusty piece of road; very dusty it 
was to-day, and a cutting March east wind blew in Carr’s 
face and stung it. He approached the school-house — no, 
what a relief — the patient aspirants after literature were 
most of them waiting outside. Augusta, then, could not 
have gone into the school-room. 

“ Has Miss Augusta Wyndham gone upstairs ? ” he asked 
of a rosy-cheeked girl who adored the “ Sunday At Home.’> 

“ No, please, sir. Mr. Gerald’s come, please, Mr. Carr, 
sir,” raising two eyes which nearly blazed with excitement. 
“ He shook ’ands with me, he did, and with Old Ben, there ; 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


*45 


and Miss Augusta, she give a sort of a whoop, and she 
had her arms round his neck, and was a-hugging of him 
before us all, and they has gone down through the fields 
to the rectory.” 

“ About the books,” said Carr ; “ has Miss Augusta 
given you the books ? ” 

** Bless your ’eart, sir,” here interrupted Old Ben, “ we 
ain't of a mind for books to-day. Mr. Gerald said he’d 
come up this evening to the Club, and have a chat with us 
all, and Sue and me, we was waiting here to tell the news. 
Litteratoor ain’t in our line to-day, thank you, sir.” 

“ Here’s Mr. Macallister,” said Sue. “ Mr. Macallister, 
Mr. Gerald’s back. He is, truly. I seen him, and so did 
Old Ben.” 

“ And he’ll be at the Club to-night,” said Ben, turning 
his wrinkled face upwards towards the elongated visage of 
the canny Scot. 

“ The Lord be praised for a’ His mercies,” pronounced 
Macallister, slowly, with an upward wave of his hand, as if 
he were returning thanks for a satisfying meal. “ Na, na, 
Mr. Carr, na books the day.” 

Finding that his services were really useless, Carr went 
away. The villagers were slowly collecting from different 
quarters, and all faces were broadening into smiles, and all 
the somewhat indifferent sleepy tones becoming perceptibly 
brighter, and Gerald Wyndham’s name was passed from 
lip to lip. Old Miss Bates wiped her tearful eyes, as she 
hurried home to put on her best cap. Widow Simpkins 
determined to make up a good fire in her cottage, and not 
to spare the coals ; the festive air was unmistakeable. Carr 
felt smitten with a kind of envy. What wonders could not 
Wyndham have effected in this place, he commented, as he 
walked slowly back to his lodgings. Later in the day he 
called at the rectory to find the hero surrounded by his 
adoring family, and bearing his honors gracefully. 

10 


146 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Gerald was talking rather more than his wont ; for some 
reason or other his face had .more color than usual, his eyes 
were bright, he smiled, and even laughed. Lilias ceased 
to watch him anxiously, a sense of jubilation filled the 
breast of every worshipping sister, and no one thought of 
parting or sorrow. 

Perhaps even Gerald himself forgot the bitterness which 
lay before him just then ; perhaps his efforts were not all 
efforts, and that he really felt some of the old home peace 
and rest with its sustaining power. 

You can know a thing and yet not always realize it. 
Gerald knew that he should never spend another Saturday 
in the old rectory of Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. That Lilias’ 
bright head and Lilias’ tender, steadfast earnest eyes would 
be in future only a memory. He could never hope again 
to touch that hair, or answer back the smile on that 
beloved and happy face. The others, too — but Lilias, 
after his wife, was most dear of all living creatures to 
Gerald. Well, he must not think ; he resolved to take 
all the sweetness, if possible, out of this Saturday and Sun- 
day. He resolved not to tell any of his people of the com- 
ing parting until just before he left. 

The small sisters squatted in a semicircle on the floor 
round their hero ; Augusta, as usual, stood behind him, 
keeping religious guard of the back of his head. 

“ If there is a thing I simply adore,” that vigorous young 
lady was often heard to say, “ it’s the back of Gerry’s 
head.” 

Lilias sat at his feet, her slim hand and arm lying across 
his knee ; Marjory flitted about, too restless and happy to 
be quiet, and the tall rector stood on the hearth-rug with his 
back to the fire. 

“ It is good to be home again,” said Gerald. Whereupon 
a sigh of content echoed from all the other throats, and it 
was at this moment that Carr came into the room, 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*47 


“ Come in, Carr, come in,” said the rector. “ There’s a 
place for you, too. You’re quite like one of the family, 
you know. Oh, of course you are, my dear fellow, of 
course you are. We have got my son back, unexpectedly. 
Gerald, you know Carr, don’t you.” 

Gerald stood up, gave Carr’s hand a hearty grip, and 
offered him his chair. 

“ Oh, not that seat, Gerry,” groaned Augusta, “ it’s the 
only one in the room I can stand at comfortably. I can’t 
fiddle with your curls if I stand at the back of any other 
chair.” 

Gerald patted her cheek. 

“ Then perhaps, Carr, you’ll oblige Augusta by occupy- 
ing another chair. I am sorry that I am obliged to with- 
hold the most comfortable from you.” 

Carr was very much at home with the Wyndhams by 
now. He pulled forward a cane chair, shook his head at 
Augusta, and glanced almost timidly at Lilias. He feared 
the eight sharp eyes of the younger children if he did more 
than look very furtively, but she made such a sweet picture 
just then that his eyes sought hers by a sort of fascination. 
For the first time, too, he noticed that she had a look of 
Gerald. Her face lacked the almost spiritualized expres- 
sion of his, but undoubtedly there was a likeness. 

The voices, interrupted for a moment by the curate’s 
entrance, soon resumed their vigorous flow. 

“ Why didn’t you bring my dear little sister Valentine 
down, Gerald ? ” It was Lilias who spoke. 

He rewarded her loving speech by a flash, half of plea- 
sure, half of pain in his eyes. Aloud he said : — 

“ We thought it scarcely worth while for both of us to 
come. I must go away again on Monday.” 

A sepulchral groan from Augusta. Rosie, Betty and Joan 
exclaimed almost in a breath : — 

“ And we like you much better by yourself.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


148 

“ Oh, hush, children,” said Marjory. “ We are all very 
fond of Val.” 

“ You have brought a great deal of delight into the village, 
Wyndham,” said Carr, and he related the little scene which 
had taken place around the school-house. “ I’d give a good 
deal to be even half as popular,” he said with a sigh. 

“ You might give all you possessed in all the world, and 
you wouldn’t succeed,” snapped Gussie. 

“ Augusta, you really are too rude,” said Lilias with a 
flush on her face. 

“ No, I’m not, Lil. Oh, you needn’t stare at me. I like 
him, and he knows it,” nodding with her head in the direc- 
tion of Adrian Carr ; “ but you have to be born in a place, 
and taught to walk in it, and you have had to steal apples 
in it and eggs out of birds’ nests, and to get nearly drowned 
when fishing, and to get some shot in your ankle, and 
you’ve got to know every soul in all the country round, and 
to come back from school to them in the holidays, and for 
them first to see your moustache coming ; and then, beyond 
and above all that, you’ve got just to be Gerry , to have his 
way of looking, and his way of walking, and his way of 
shaking your hand, and to have his voice and his heart, to 
be loved as well. So how could Mr. Carr expect it ? ” 

“ Bravo, Augusta,” said Adrian Carr. “ I’d like you 
for a friend better than any girl I know.” 

“ Please,, Gerry, tell us a story,” exclaimed the younger 
children. They did not want Augusta to have all the talk- 
ing. 

“ Let it be about a mouse, and a cricket on the hearth, 
and a white elephant, and a roaring bull, and a grizzly 
bear.” 

‘‘And let the ten little 'nigger-boys come into it,” said 
Betty. 

“ And Bo-Peep,” said Rosie. 

“ And the Old Man who wouldn’t say his prayers,” ex- 
claimed Joan. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


149 


“ And let it last for hours,” exclaimed they all. 

Gerald begged the rest of the audience to go away, but 
they refused to budge an inch. So the story began. All 
the characters appeared in due order ; it lasted a long time, 
and everybody was delighted. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


HO 


CHAPTER XXVI. 

Lilias Wyndham never forgot that last Sunday with 
Gerald spent at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. The day in itself 
was perfect, the air blew softly from the west, the sun 
shone in a nearly cloudless heaven ; the gentle breezes, the 
opening flowers, the first faint buds of spring on tree and 
hedge-row seemed all to give a foretaste of summer. No- 
body knew, none could guess, that in one sense they fore- 
told the desolation of dark winter. 

It was in this light that Wyndham himself regarded the 
lovely day. 

“ I leap from calm to storm,” he said to himself. “ Never 
mind, I will enjoy the present bliss ! ” 

He did enjoy it, really, not seemingly. He took every 
scrap of sweetness out of it, almost forgetting Valentine for 
the time being, and living over again the days when he 
was a light-hearted boy. 

He went to church twice, and sat in the corner of the 
square family pew which had always been reserved for him. 
As of old, Lilias sat by his side, and when the sermon came 
he lifted little Joan into his arms, and she fell asleep with 
her golden head on his breast. The rector preached and 
Gerald listened. It was an old-fashioned sermon, somewhat 
long for the taste of the present day. It had been carefully 
prepared, and was read aloud, for the benefit of the con- 
gregation, in a clear, gentlemanly voice. 

Gerald almost forgot that he was a man with an unusual 
load of suffering upon him, as he listened to the time- 
honored softly-flowing sentences. 

“ Blessed are the pure in heart,” was the rector’s text, 
and it seemed to mo-re than one of that little village con- 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. I51 

gregation that he was describing his own son when he drew 
his picture of the man of purity. 

In the evening Carr preached. He was as modern as 
the rector was the reverse. He used neither M.S. nor 
notes, and his sermon scarcely occupied ten minutes. 

“ To die is gain,” was his text. There were some in 
the congregation who scarcely understood the vigorous 
words, but they seemed to one weary man like the first 
trumpet notes of coming battle. They spoke of a fight 
which led to a victory. Wyndham remembered them by- 
and-bye. 

It was the custom at the rectory to have a kind of open 
house on Sunday evening, and to-night many of Gerald’s 
friends dropped in. The large party seemed a happy one. 
The merriment of the night before had deepened into some- 
thing better. Lilias spoke of it afterwards as bliss. 

“ Do you remember,” she said to Marjory, in the deso- 
late days which followed, “ how Gerald looked when he 
played the organ in the hall ? Do you remember his face 
when we sang ‘ Sun of my soul ? ’ ” 

The happiest days come to an end. The children went 
to bed, the friends one by one departed. Even Lilias and 
Marjory kissed their brother and bade him good-night. 
He was to leave before they were up in the morning. This 
he insisted on, against their will. 

“ But we shall see you soon in London,” they both said, 
for they were coming up in a few weeks to stay with an 
aunt. Then they told him to kiss Valentine for them, and 
went upstairs, chatting lightly to one another. 

The rector and his son were alone. 

“ We have had a happy day,” said Gerald, abruptly. 

“ We have, my son. It does us all good to have you 
with us, Gerald. I could have wished — but there’s no good 
regretting now. Each man must choose his own path, 
and you seem happy, my dear son ; that is the main thing.” 


152 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ I never thought primarily of happiness,” responded 
Gerald. “ Did you listen to Carr’s sermon to-night? He 
proved his case well. To die is sometimes gain.” 

The rector, who was seated by the fire, softly patted his 
knee with one hand. 

“ Yes, yes,” he said, “ Carr proved his case ably. He’s 
a good fellow. A little inclined to the broad church, don’t 
you think ? ” 

“ Perhaps so.” 

Gerald stood up. His face had suddenly grown deadly 
white. 

u Father, I kept a secret from you all day. I did not 
wish to do anything to mar the bliss of this perfect Sunday. 
You — you'll break it to Lilias and Maggie, and the younger 
children. I’m going to Sydney on Wednesday. I came 
down to say good-bye.” 

He held out his hand. The rector stood up and grasped 
it. 

“ My dear lad — my boy. Well — well — you’ll come back 
again. Of course, I did know that you expected to go 
abroad on business for your firm. My dear son. Yes, my 
boy — aye — you’ll come back again soon. How queer you 
look, Gerald. Sit down. I’m afraid you’re a little over- 
done.” 

“ Good-bye, father. You’re an old man, and Sydney is 
a long way off. Good-bye. I have a queer request to 
make. Grant it, and don’t think me weak or foolish. Give 
me your blessing before I go.” 

Suddenly Wyndham fell on his knees, and taking his 
father’s hand laid it on his head. 

“ I am like Esau,” he said. “ Is there not one blessing 
left for me ? ” 

The rector was deeply moved. 

“ Heaven above bless you, my boy,” he said. “ Your 
mother’s God go with you. There, Gerald, you are mor- 


bid. You will be back with me before the snows of next 
winter fall. But God bless you, my boy, wherever you are 
and whatever you do ! ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOPE, 


t 5 4 


CHAPTER XXVII. 

Valentine was sitting in her pretty drawing-room. It 
was dinner time, but she had not changed her dress. She 
was too young, too fresh, and unused to trouble, for it yet 
to leave any strong marks on her face. The delicate color 
in her cheeks had slightly paled, it is true, her bright hair 
was in confusion, and her eyes looked larger and more 
wistful than their wont, but otherwise no one could tell 
that her heart was beating heavily and that she was listen- 
ing eagerly for a footstep. 

Seven o’clock came — half-past seven. This was Gerald’s 
last night at home ; he was to sail in the Esperance for 
Sydney to-morrow. Valentine felt stunned and cold, 
though she kept on repeating to herself over and over : — 

“ This parting is nothing. He’s sure to be home in six 
months at the latest. Six months at the very latest. In 
these days there is really no such thing as distance. What 
is a six months’ parting ? Besides, it is not as if I were 
really in love with him. Father asked me the question 
direct last night, and I said I wasn’t. How could I love 
him with all my heart when I remember that scene at the 
Gaiety ? Oh, that scene ! It burns into me like fire, and 
father’s look — I almost hated father that night. I did 
really. Fancy, Valentine hating her father ! Oh, of course 
it passed. There is no one like my father. Husbands 
aren’t like fathers, not in the long run. Oh, Gerald, you 
might have told me the truth ? I’d have forgiven you, I 
would really, if you had told me the truth. Oh, why don’t 
you come ? Why don’t you come ? You might be in time 
this last evening. It is a quarter to eight now. I am 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*55 


impatient — I am frightened. Oh, there’s a ring at the 
hall door. Oh, thank God. No, of course, Gerald, I don’t 
love you — not as I could have loved — and yet I do — I do 
love you — I do ! ” 

She clasped her hands — a footstep was on the stairs. 
The door was opened, Masters brought her a thick letter 
on a salver. 

“ Has not Mr. Wyndham come ? Was not that ring Mr. 
Wyndham’s ? ” 

“ No, madam, a messenger brought this letter. He said 
there was no answer.” 

The page withdrew, and V alentine tore open the envelope. 
A letter somewhat blotted, bearing strong marks of agita- 
tion, but in her husband’s writing, lay in her hand. Her 
eager eyes devoured the contents. 

“ I can’t say good-bye, my darling — there are limits even 
to my endurance — I can’t look at you and hear you say 
‘ Good-bye, Gerald.’ I bade you farewell this morning 
when you were asleep. I am not coming home to-night, 
but your father will spend the evening with you. You love 
him better than me, and 1 pray the God of all mercy that 
he may soften any little pang that may come to you in this 
separation. When you are reading this I shall be on my 
way to Southampton. I have bid your father good-bye^ 
and he will tell you everything there is to tell about me. 
The Esperance sails at noon to-morrow, and it is a good 
plan to be on board in good time. I cannot tell you, 
Valentine, what my own feelings are. I cannot gauge my 
love for you. I don’t think anything could probe it to its 
depths. I am a sinful man, but I sometimes hope that 
God will forgive me, because I have loved as much as the 
human heart is capable of loving. You must remember 
that, dear. You must always know that you have inspired 
in one man’s breast the extreme of love ! 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


* 5 6 

“ Good-bye, my darling. It is my comfort to know that 
the bitterness of this six months’ separation falls on me. 
If I thought otherwise, if I thought even for a moment that 
you cared more for your husband than you do for the world’s 
opinion, or for riches, or for honor, that you would rather 
have him with poverty and shame, that he was more to you 
even than the father who gave you your being, then I would 
say even now, at the eleventh hour, 1 fly to me, Valentine. 
Let us go away together on board the Esperance , and forget 
all promises and all honor, and all truth.’ Yes, I would say 
it. But that is a mad dream. Forget this part of my letter, 
Valentine. It has been wrung from a tortured and almost 
maddened heart. Good-bye, my wife. Be thankful that 
you have not it in you to love recklessly. 

“ Your husband, 

“ Gerald Wyndham.” 

“ But I have ! ” said Valentine. She raised her eyes. 
Her father was in the room. 

“ Yes, I can love— I too can give back the extreme of 
love. Father, I am going to my husband. I am going to 
Southampton. What’s the matter? What are you looking 
at me like that for ? Why did you send Gerald away with- 
out letting him come to say good-bye ? Not that it matters, 
for I am going to him. I shall take the very next train to 
Southampton.” 

“ My darling,” began Mr. Paget. 

“ Oh, yes, father, yes. But there’s no time for loving 
words just now. I’ve had a letter from my husband, and 
I’m going to him. I’m going to Sydney with him. Yes — 
you can’t prevent me ! ” 

“You are talking folly, Valentine,” said Mr. Paget. 
“ You are excited, my child ; you are talking wildly. Going 
with your husband? My poor little girl. There, dear, 
there. He’ll soon be back. You can’t go with him, you 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


»57 


know, my love. Show me his letter. What has he dared 
to say to excite you like this ? ” 

“ No, you shan’t see a word of his dear letter. No, not 
for all the world. I understand him at last, and I love him 
with all my heart and soul. Yes, I do. Oh, no, I don’t 
love you as I love my husband.” 

Mr. Paget stepped back a pace or two. There was no 
doubting Valentine’s words, no doubting the look on her 
face. She was no longer a child. She was a woman, a 
woman aroused to passion, almost to fury. 

“ I am going to my husband,” she said. And she took 
no notice of her father when he sank into the nearest chair 
and pressed his hand to his heart. 

“ I have got a blow,” he said. “ I have got an awful 
blow.” 

But Valentine did not heed him. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE, 


158 


CHAPTER XXVIII. 

“ Yes, my darling,” said Mr. Paget, two hours later ; his 
arms were round his daughter, and her head was on his 
shoulder. “ Oh, yes, my dear one, certainly, if you wish 
it.” 

“ And you’ll go with me, father ? Father, couldn’t you 
come too? Couldn’t we three go? Yes, that would be 
nice, that would be happiness.” 

“ A good idea,” said Mr. Paget, reflectively. “ But 
really, Val, really now, don’t you think Wyndham and I 
rather spoil you? You discover at the eleventh hour that 
you can’t live without your husband, that as he must cross 
to the other side of the world, you must go there too. And 
now in addition I have to accompany you. Do you think 
you are worth all this ? That any girl in the world is worth 
all this?” 

“ Perhaps not, father.” 

Valentine was strangely subdued and quiet 

“ I suppose it would be selfish to bring you,” she said ; 
“ and we shall be back in six months.” 

“ True,” said Mr. Paget in a thoughtful voice ; “ and 
even for my daughter’s sake my business must not go 
absolutely to the dogs. Well, child, a wilful woman — you 
know the proverb — a wilful woman must have her way. I 
own I’m disappointed. I looked forward to six months 
all alone with you. Six months with my own child — a last 
six months, for of course I always guessed that when Wynd- 
ham came back you’d give yourself up to him body and 
soul. Oh, no, my dear, I’m not going to disappoint you. 
A wife fretting and mourning for her husband is the last 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


! 59 


person I should consider a desirable companion. Run 
upstairs now and get your maid to put your things together. 
I shall take you down to Southampton by an early train in 
the morning, and in the meantime, if you’ll excuse me, 
Valentine, I’ll go out and send a telegram to your hus- 
band.” 

“ To tell him that I’m coming ? ” 

“ Yes, are you not pleased ? ” 

“ No, don’t do that.- I will meet him on board the boat. 
I know exactly what the scene will be. He’ll be looking 
— no, I shan’t say how he’ll be looking — but I’ll steal up 
behind him, and slip my hand through his arm, and then 
— and then ! Father, kiss me. I love you for making me 
so happy.” 

Mr. Paget pressed his lips to his daughter’s forehead. 
For a brief moment his eyes looked into hers. She 
remembered by-and-bye their queer expression. Just now, 
however, she was too overwrought and excited to have 
room for any ideas except the one supreme longing and 
passion which was drawing her to her husband. 

“ Shall we have dinner ? ” said Mr. Paget after another 
pause. 

Valentine laughed rather wildly. 

“ Dinner ? I can’t eat. Had not you better go home 
and have something ? Perhaps I did order dinner, but I 
can’t remember. My head feels queer; I can’t think pro- 
perly. Go home and have something to eat, father. You 
can come back later on. I am* going upstairs now to 
pack.” 

She left the room without a word, and Mortimer Paget 
heard her light step as she ran up to her bedroom. He 
began to talk vehemently to himself. 

“ Does that child, that little girl, whom I reared and 
fostered — that creature whom I brought into existence — 
think she will checkmate me now at the supreme moment. 


i6o 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


No, there are limits. I find that even my love for Val- 
entine has a bottom, and I reach it when I see the pri- 
soner’s cell, solitary confinement, penal servitude, looming 
large on the horizon. Even your heart must suffer, little 
Valentine, to keep such a fate as that from my door. Poor 
little Val !. Well, the best schemes, the most carefully laid 
plans sometimes meet with defeat. It did not enter into 
my calculations that Val would fall madly in love with that 
long-faced fellow. Pah ! where’s her taste ? What men 
women will admire. Well, Valentine, you must pay the 
penalty, for my plans cannot be disturbed at the eleventh 
hour ! ” 

Mr. Paget went softly out of the house, but he did not 
go, as Valentine innocently supposed, home to dinner. No, 
he had something far more important to attend to. Some- 
thing in which he could be very largely assisted by that 
confidential clerk of his, Jonathan Helps. 

Meanwhile, Valentine and her maid were having a busy 
time. Dresses were pulled out, trunks dusted and brought 
into the middle of the room, and hasty preparations were 
made for a journey. 

Valentine’s low spirits had changed to high ones. She 
was as happy as some hours ago she had been miserable. 
Her heart was now at rest, it had acknowledged its own 
need — it had given expression to the love which was fast 
becoming its life. 

<f You are surprised, Suzanne,” said Mrs. Wyndham to 
her maid. “ Yes, it is a # hurried journey. I had no idea 
of going with Mr. Wyndham, but he — poor fellow — he 
can’t do without me, Suzanne, so I am going. I shall join 
him on board the Esperance in the morning. You can 
fancy his surprise — his pleasure. Put in plenty of dinner 
dresses, Suzanne. Those white dresses that Mr. Wynd- 
ham likes — yes, that is right. Of course I shall dress every 
evening for dinner on board the Esperance. I wonder if 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


161 


many other ladies are going. Not that it matters — I shall 
have my husband. What are you saying, Suzanne ? ” 

“ That it is beautiful to lof,” replied the maid, looking 
up with adoring eyes at her pretty animated young mis- 
tress. 

She was both young and pretty herself, and she sympa- 
thized with Valentine, and admired her immensely for her 
•sudden resolve. 

“Yes, love is beautiful,” answered Valentine gravely. 
Her eyes filled with sudden soft tears of happiness. “ And 
there is something better even than love,” she said, look- 
ing at Suzanne, and speaking with a sudden burst of confi- 
dence. “ The highest bliss of all is to give jov to those 
who love you.” 

“And you will do that to-morrow, madame,” replied 
Suzanne fervently. “ Oh, this lof, so beautiful, so rare — 
you will lay it at monsieur’s feet — he is goot, monsieur is, 
and how great is his passion for madame.” 

The young Swiss girl flitted gaily about, and by-and-bye 
the packing even for this sudden voyage was accomplished. 

“ You will take me with you, madame ? ” said Suzanne. 

“ No, Suzanne, there is no time to arrange that, nor 
shall I really want you. We may have to rough it a little, 
my husband and I ; not that we mind, it will be like a 
continual picnic — quite delicious.” 

“ But madame must be careful of her precious nealth.” 

The color flushed into Valentine’s cheeks. 

“ My husband will take care of me,” she said. “ No, 
Suzanne, I shall not take you with me. You will stay 
here for the present, and my father will arrange matters 
for you. Now you can go downstairs and have some 
supper. I shall not want you again to-night.” 

The girl withdrew, and Valentine stood by the fire, gaz- 
ing into its cheerful depths, and seeing many happy dream 
pictures. 


11 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


162 

“ Yes, I shall certainly go with him. Even if what I 
dread and hope and long for is the case, I shall be with 
him. I can whisper it first to him. I ought to be with 
him — I ought to be with my husband then. Why did 
Suzanne speak about my health? No one will take such 
care of me as Gerald. Even my father cannot approach 
Gerald for tenderness, for sympathy when one is out of 
sorts. How soothing is Gerald’s hand ; how quieting. 
Once I was ill for a few hours. Only a bad headache, but 
it went when he made me lie very still, and when he 
clasped my two hands in one of his. Yes, I quite believe 
in Gerald. Even though I do not understand that night 
at the Gaiety, still I absolutely believe in my husband. He 
is too noble to tell a lie ; he had a reason for not explaining 
what looked so strange that night. He had a right reason, 
probably a good and great one. Perhaps I’ll ask him again 
some day. Perhaps when he knows there’s a little — little 
child coming he’ll tell me himself. Oh, God, kind, good, 
beautiful God, if you are going to give me a child of my 
very own, help me to be worthy of it. Help me to be 
worthy of the child, and of the child’s father.” 

Mr. Paget’s ring was heard at the hall door, and Valen- 
tine ran down to meet him. He had made all arrange- 
ments he told her. They would catch the 8.5 train in the 
morning from Waterloo, and he would call for her in a cab 
at a sufficiently early hour to catch it. 

His words were brief, but he was quite quiet and busi- 
ness-like. He kissed his daughter affectionately, told her 
to go to bed at once, and soon after left the house. 

Valentine gave directions for the morning and went back 
to her room. She got quickly into bed, for she was deter- 
mined to be well rested for what lay before her on the 
following day. She laid her head on the pillow, closed her 
eyes, and prepared to go to sleep. Does not everybody 
know what happens on these occasions ? Does not each 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


163 


individual who in his or her turn has especially desired for 
the best and most excellent reason a long sleep, a deep 
sleep, an unbroken and dreamless sleep found it recede 
further and further away — found eyes more watchful — brain 
more active, limbs more restless, as the precious moments 
fly by ? How loud the watch ticks, how audible are the 
minutest sounds ! 

It was thus with Valentine Wyndham that night. No 
sleep came near her, and by slow degrees as the fire grew 
faint and the night deepened in silence and solemnity, her 
happy excitement, her childish joy, gave place to vague 
apprehensions. All kinds of nameless terrors came over 
her. Suppose an accident happened to the train? Sup- 
pose the Esperaiice sailed before its time ? Above all, and 
this idea was agonizing, was so repellant that she abso- 
lutely pushed it from her — suppose her father was deceiv- 
ing her.' She was horrified as this thought came, and came. 
It would come, it would not be banished. Suppose her 
father was deceiving her ? 

She went over in the silence of the night the whole scene 
of that evening. Her own sudden and fierce resolve, her 
father’s opposition, his disappointment — then his sudden 
yielding. The more she thought, the more apprehensive 
she grew ; the more she pondered, the longer, the more 
real grew her fears. At last she could bear them no 
longer. 

She lit a candle and looked at her watch. Three o’clock. 
Had ever passed a night so long and dreadful ? There 
would not be even a ray of daylight for some time. She 
could not endure that hot and restless pillow. She would 
get up and dress. 

All the time she was putting on her clothes the dread 
that her father was deceiving her kept strengthening — 
strengthening. At last it almost reached a panic. What 
a fool she had been not to go to Southampton the night 


1 64 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


before. Suppose Gerald’s ship sailed before she reached 
it or him. 

Suddenly an idea came like a ray of light. Why should 
she wait for her father ? Why should she not take an earlier 
train to Southampton ? The relative depths of Valentine’s 
two loves were clearly shown when she did not reject this 
thought. It mattered nothing at all to her at this supreme 
moment whether she offended her father or not. She 
determined to go to Southampton by the first train that 
left Waterloo that morning. She ran downstairs, found a 
time-table, saw that a train left at 5.50, and resolved to 
catch it. She would take Suzanne with her, and leave 
a message for her father ; he could follow by the 8.5 train 
if he liked. 

She went upstairs and woke her maid. 

11 Suzanne, get up at once. Dress yourself, and come to 
me, to my room.” 

In an incredible short time Suzanne had obeyed this 
mandate. 

“ I am going to take you with me to Southampton, 
Suzanne. I mean to catch the train which leaves here at 
ten minutes to six. We have plenty of time, but not too 
much. Can you make some coffee for us both ? And then 
either you or Masters must find a cab.” 

Suzanne opened her bright eyes wide. 

“ I will go with you, my goot madam,” she said to herself. 
“ The early hour is noting, the strangeness is noting. 
That olt man — I hate that olt man ! I will go alone with 
you, mine goot mistress, to find the goot husband what is 
so devoted. Ach ! Suzanne does not like that olt man ! ” 

Coffee was served in Valentine’s bedroom. Mistress 
and maid partook of it together. Masters was aroused, 
was fortunate enough in procuring a cab, and at five 
o’clock, for Valentine’s impatience could brook no longer 
delay, she and Suzanne had started together for Waterloo. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


l*>5 

Once more her spirits were high. She had dared some- 
thing for Gerald. It was already sweet to her to be brave 
for his sake. 

Before she left she wrote a short letter to her father — a 
constrained little note — for her fears stood between her 
and him. 

She and Suzanne arrived at Waterloo long before the 
train started. 

“ Oh, how impatient I am ! ” whispered Mrs. Wyndham 
to her maid. “ Will time never pass ? I am sure all the 
clocks in London must be wrong, this last night has been 
like three.” 

The longest hours, however, do come to an end, and 
presently Valentine and Suzanne found themselves being 
whirled out of London, and into the early morning of a 
bright clear March day. 

The two occupied a compartment to themselves. Suzanne 
felt wide awake, talkative, and full of intense curiosity ; 
but Valentine was strangely silent. She ceased either to 
laugh or to talk. She drew down her veil, and establishing 
herself in a corner kept looking out at the swiftly passing 
landscape. Once more the fear which had haunted her 
during the night returned. Even now, perhaps, she would 
not be in time ! 

Then she set to work chiding herself. She must be 
growing silly. The Esperance did not leave the dock until 
noon, and her train was due at Southampton soon after 
eight. Of course there would be lots of time. Even her 
father who was to follow by the later train could reach the 
Esperance before she sailed. 

The train flew quickly through the country, the slow 
moments dropped into space one by one. Presently the 
train slackened speed — presently it reached its destination. 

Then for the first time Valentine’s real difficulties began. 
She had not an idea from which dock the Esperance was 


1 66 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


to sail. A porter placed her luggage on a fly. She and 
Suzanne got in, and the driver asked for directions. No, 
the Esperance was not known to the owner of the hackney 
coach. 

When the porter and the cabman.questioned Mrs. Wynd- 
ham she suddenly felt as if she had come up against a 
blank wall. There were miles of ships all around. If she 
could afford no clue to the whereabouts of the Esperance 
the noon of another day might come before she could reach 
the dock where it was now lying at anchor. 

At last it occurred to her to give the name of her father’s 
shipping firm. It was a great name in the city, but neither 
the porter nor the cabman had come under its influence. 
They suggested, however, that most likely the firm of Paget 
Brothers had an office somewhere near. They said fur- 
ther that if there was such an office the clerks in it could 
give the lady the information she wanted. 

Valentine was standing by her cab, trying not to show 
the bewilderment and distress which had seized her, when 
a man who must have been listening came up, touched his 
hat, and said civilly : — 

“ Pardon, madam. If you will drive or walk down to 
the quay, this quay quite close, there is an office, you cannot 
fail to see it, where they can give you the information you 
desire, as they are always posted up with regard to the out- 
going and in-coming vessels. That quay, quite near, 
cabby. Messrs. Gilling and Gilling’s office.” 

He touched his hat again and vanished, being rewarded 
by Valentine with a look which he considered a blessing. 

“Now,” she. said, “now, I will give you double fare, 
cabman, treble fare, if you will help me to get to the Es- 
perance in time ; and first of all, let us obey that good 
man’s directions and go to Messrs. Gilling and Gilling.” 

The quay was close, and so was the office. In two 
minutes Valentine was standing, alas, by its closed doors. 


i LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


167 

A sudden fierce impatience came over her, she rang the 
office bell loudly. Three times she rang before any one an- 
swered her summons. Then a rather dishevelled and 
sleepy-looking boy opened the door wide enough to poke 
his head out and asked, her her business. 

“ I want to get news of the ship called the Esperance .” 

“ Office don’t open till nine.” 

He would have pushed the door to, but Suzanne stepping 
forward deftly put her foot in. 

“ Mine goot boy, be civil,” she said. “ This lady has 
come a long way, and she wants the tidings she asks very 
sore.” 

The office boy looked again at Valentine. She certainly 
was pretty ; so was Suzanne. But the office really did not 
open till nine, and the boy could not himself give any 
tidings. 

“ You had better step in,” he said. “ Mr. Jones will be 
here at nine. No, I don’t know nothing about the ship.” 

It was now twenty-five minutes past eight. Valentine 
sank down on the dusty chair which the boy pushed for- 
ward for her, and Suzanne stood impatiently by her side. 

Outside, the cabman whistled a cheerful air and stamped 
his feet. The morning was cold ; but what of that ? He 
himself was doing a good business ; he was certain of an 
excellent fare. 

“Suzanne,” said Valentine suddenly. “Do you mind 
going outside and waiting in the cab. I cannot bear any- 
one to stare at me just now.” 

Suzanne obeyed. She was not offended. She was too 
deeply interested and sympathetic. 

The slow minutes passed. Nine o’clock sounded from a 
great church near, and then more gently from the office 
clock. At three minutes past nine a bilious-looking clerk 
came in and took his place at one of the desks. He started 
when he saw Valentine, opened a ledger, and pretended to 
be very busy. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


1 68 

“ Can you tell me, at once, please, from which dock the 
Esperance sails ? ” asked Mrs. Wyndham. 

Her voice was impressive, and sharp with pain and wait- 
ing. The clerk thought he might at least stare at her. Things, 
were slow and dull at this hour of the morning, and she was 
a novelty. He could have given the information at once, 
but it suited him best to dawdle over it. Valentine could 
have stamped with her increasing impatience. 

The clerk, turning the leaves of a big book slowly, at last 
put his finger on an entry. 

“ Esperance sails for Sydney 25th inst., noon. Albert 
and Victoria Docks.” 

“ Thank you, thank you,” said Valentine. “ Are these 
docks far away ? ” 

“ Three miles off, madam.” 

“ Thank you.” 

She was out of the office and in the cab almost before he 
had time to close his book. 

“ Drive to the Albert and Victoria Docks, instantly, 
coachman. I will give you a sovereign if you take me there 
in less than half an hour.” 

Never was horse beaten like that cabby’s, and Valen- 
tine, the most tender-hearted of mortals, saw the whip 
raised without a pang. Now she was certain to be in time ; 
even allowing for delay she would reach the Esperance 
before ten o’clock, and it did not sail until noon. Yes, 
there was now not the most remote doubt she was in good 
time. And yet, and yet — still she felt miserable. Still her 
heart beat with a strange overpowering sense of coming 
defeat and disaster. Good cabman — go faster yet, and 
faster. Ah, yes, how they were flying ! How pleasant it 
was to be bumped and shaken, and jolted — to feel the 
ground flying under the horse’s feet, for each moment 
brought her nearer to the Esperance and to Gerald. 

At last they reached the dock. Valentine sprang out of 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 169 

the cab. A sailor came forward to help with her luggage. 
Valentine put a sovereign into the cabman’s hand. 

“Thank you,” she said, “ oh, thank you. Yes, I am in 
good time.” 

Her eyes were full of happy tears, and the cabman, a 
rather hardened old villain, was surprised to find a lump 
rising in his throat. 

“ Which ship, lady ? ” asked the sailor, touching his 
cap. 

“ The Esperance , one of Paget Brothers’ trading vessels. 
I want to go on board at once ; show it to me. Suzanne, 
you can follow with the luggage^ Show me the Esperance, 
good man, my husband is waiting for me.” 

“ You don’t mean the Experiatice , bound for Sydney ? ” 
asked the man. “ One of Paget Brothers’ big ships ? ” 

“ Yes, yes ; do you know her ? Point her out to me.” 

“ Ay, I know her. I was helping to lade her till twelve 
last night.” 

“Just show her to me. I am in a frightful hurry. She 
is here — this is the right dock.” 

“ Ay, the Albert and Victoria. The Experiance sailing 
for Sydney, noon, on the 25th.” 

“ Well, where is she ? I will go and look for her by 
myself.” 

“ You can’t, lady, she’s gone.” 

“ What — what do you mean ? It isn’t twelve o’clock. 
Suzanne, it isn’t twelve o’clock.” 

“ No, lady.” 

The old sailor looked compassionate enough. 

“ Poor young thing,” he soliloquized under his breath, 
“ some one has gone and done her. The Experia?ice was to 
sail at noon,” he continued, “ and she’s a bunny tidy ship, 
too. I was lading her up till midnight ; for last night there 
came an order, and the captain — Captain Jellyby’s is his 
name — he was all flustered and in a taking, and he said we 


VjO 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


was to finish and lade up, and she was to go out of port 
sharp at eight this morning. She did, too, sharp to the 
minute. I seen her weigh anchor. That’s her, lady — look 
out there — level with the horizon — she’s a fast going ship 
and she’s making good way. Let me hold you up, lady — 
now, can you see her now ? That's the ExperianceT 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


iji 


CHAPTER XXIX. 

The Esperance was a well-made boat ; she was about four 
thousand tons, with improved engines which went at great 
speed. She was a trading ship, one of the largest and 
most important of those belonging to Paget Brothers, but 
she sometimes took out emigrants, and had room for a few 
saloon passengers ; old travellers, who knew what comfort 
was, sometimes preferred to go in such ships as the Espe- 
rance to the more conventional lines of steamers. There 
was less crowding, less fuss ; there was also more room 
and more comfort. The meals were good and abundant, 
and the few passengers, provided they were in any sense 
of the word congenial spirits, became quickly friends. 

Gerald, as one of the members of the firm, was of course 
accommodated with the very best the Esperance could 
offer. He had a large state room, well furnished, to him- 
self ; he was treated with every possible respect, and even 
consulted with regard to trivial matters. Only, however, 
with regard to very trivial matters. 

When he arrived at Southampton on the evening of the 
24th, he went at once on board the Esperance. 

“We shall sail at noon to-morrow,” he said to the cap- 
tain. 

Captain Jellyby was a pleasant old salt, with a genial, 
open, sunburnt face, and those bright peculiar blue eyes 
which men who spend most of their lives on the sea often 
have, as though the reflection of some of its blue had got 
into them. 

“ At noon to-morrow,” replied the captain. “ Yes, and 
that is somewhat late ; but we shan’t have finished coaling 
before.” 


VJ2 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ But we stop at Plymouth surely ? ” 

“ Well, perhaps. I cannot positively say. We may be 
able to go straight on to Tenerifle.” 

Gerald did not make any further comments. He re- 
tired to his cabin and unpacked one or two things, then 
he went into the saloon, and taking up a book appeared 
to be absorbed with its contents. 

In reality he was not reading. He had written a despe- 
rate letter that morning, and he was upheld even now in 
this moment of bitterness by a desperate hope. 

Suppose Valentine suddenly found her slumbering heart 
awake? Suppose his words, his wild, weak and foolish 
words, stung it into action ? Suppose the wife cried out 
for her husband, the awakened heart for its mate. Suppose 
she threw all prudence to the winds, and came to him ? 
She could reach him in time. 

He could not help thinking of this as he sat with his hand 
shading his eyes, pretending to read in the state saloon of 
the Esperance, the vessel which was to carry him away to 
a living death. 

If Valentine came, oh yes, if Valentine came, there 
would be no death. There might be exile, there might be 
poverty, there might be dishonor, but no death. It would 
be all life then — life, and the flush of a stained victory. 

He owned to himself that if the temptation came he 
would take it. If his wife loved him enough to come to 
him he would tell her all. He would tell her of the cruel 
promise wrung from him, and ask her if he must keep it. 

The hours flew by ; he raised his head and looked at the 
clock. Nine, it was striking nine. He heard a sound on 
board, and his pulses quickened. It passed — it was 
nothing. The clock struck ten, it was a beautiful starlight 
night. All the other passengers who had already come on 
board were amusing themselves on deck. 

Gerald was alone in the saloon. Again there was a 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


173 

sound a little different from the constant cries of the 
sailors. 

Captain Jellyby’s name was shouted, and there was a 
rush, followed by renewed activity. Gerald rose slowly, 
shut his book, and went on deck. It was a dark night 
although the sky was clear and full of stars. A man in an 
overcoat and collar turned well up over his ears brushed 
past Wyndham, made for the gangway and disappeared. 

“ Good heavens — how like that man was to old Helps.” 
soliloquized Gerald. 

He stayed on deck a little longer ; he thought his imagin- 
ation had played him a trick, for what could bring Helps 
on board the Esperance . Presently the captain joined 
him. 


1 74 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XXX. 

“ I am sorry, Mr. Wyndham,” said Captain Jellyby, “ to 
have to offer you on your very first night on board my 
good ship very broken slumbers. We shall be lading with 
coals all night. Are you easily disturbed by noise ! But 
I need scarcely ask, for that noise would almost rouse the 
dead.” 

Gerald smiled. 

“ A broken night is nothing,” he said ; u at least to me. 
I suppose there always is a great commotion the last night 
before a vessel sails on a long voyage.” 

“ Not as a rule — at least that isn’t my way. We meant 
to break off and have a quiet time at midnight, and start 
operations again at six o’clock in the morning. But I’ve 
had directions from head quarters which oblige me to 
quicken my movements. Doocid inconvenient, too ! ” 

“ What do you mean ? ” said Gerald, the pulses round 
his heart suddenly quickening. “ We sail at noon to- 
morrow.” 

“ We sail at eight in the morning, my good sir, and I, 
for one, call it doocid inconvenient. (Yes, Cadgers, what 
do you want? Get all hands possible on board.) I beg 
your pardon, Mr. Wyndham. (Yes, Cadgers.) Back with 
you presently, sir.” 

The captain disappeared, and Wyndham went down to 
his cabin. 

What did this sudden change mean ? Who had given 
the order? Was that really Helps who had been on board? 
Well, Wyndham was in a manner master on this vessel. It 
was his own, part of his property ; he had been told over 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*75 


and over again by his father-in-law that on this voyage, 
this pleasant voyage, he could give his own orders, and 
short of anything which would jeopardize the safety of the 
boat, the captain would humor his wishes. He would 
countermand an order which was putting everybody out ; 
he did not choose to leave his native shore before the time 
specified — noon on the following day. In such a short life 
as his even four hours were of moment. He would not 
lose the four hours of hope, of the possibility of hope yet 
left to him. 

He went on deck, sought out the captain where he was 
standing, shouting out hoarse directions to gangs of ener- 
getic looking sailors. 

“ A word with you, Captain Jellyby,” he said. “ There is 
some mistake in the order which you have received. I 
mean that I am in a position to cancel it. I do not wish 
the Esperance to sail before noon to-morrow.” 

His voice was very distinct and penetrating, and the 
sailors stopped work and looked at him. Astonishment 
was written legibly on their faces. 

“ Lade away boys, work with a will,” said the captain. 
Then he put his hand on Gerald’s shoulder, turned him 
round, and walked a pace or two away. 

“ I quite understand your position, Mr. Wyndham,” he 
said. “ And in all possible matters I shall yield you due 
deference. But ” 

“ Yes,” said Wyndham. 

“ But — we sail at eight to-morrow morning, sharp.” 

“ What do you mean ? Who has given you the order ? ” 

“ I am not prepared to say. My orders are explicit. 
Another time, when Captain Jellyby can meet the wishes 
of Mr. Wyndham with a clear conscience, his orders shall 
also be explicit.” 

The captain bowed, laid his hand across his heart and 
turned awa. 


76 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Wyndham went back to his own cabin, and was tor- 
tured all night by a desire, sane or otherwise, he could not 
tell which, to leave the Esperance and return to London 
and Valentine. 

The lading of the vessel went on ceaselessly, and sharp 
at eight the following morning she weighed anchor and 
steamed away. Wyndham had lain awake all night, but at 
seven in the morning he fell into a doze. The doze deep- 
ened into quietness, into peaceful and refreshing slumber : 
the lines departed from his young face ; he had not un- 
dressed, but flung himself as he was on his berth. When 
the Esperance was flying merrily through the water, Cap- 
tain Jellyby had time to give Wyndham a thought. 

“ That is a nice lad,” he said to himself. He has a nice 
face, young too. I don’t suppose he has seen five-and- 
twenty, but he knows what trouble means. My name 
is not Jack Jellyby if that young man does not know 
what pretty sharp trouble means. Odd, too, for he’s 
rich and has married the chief’s daughter, and what a 
fuss the chief made about his reception here. No ex- 
pense to be spared ; every comfort given, every attention 
shown, and his orders to be obeyed within reason. 
Ay, my pretty lad, there’s the rub — within reason. You 
looked keen and vexed enough last night when I had to 
hasten the hour for the departure of the Espera?ice. I 
wonder what the chief meant by that. Well, I’ll go and 
have a look at young Wyndham ; he may as well come with 
me and see the last of his native shore. As the morning is 
fine it will be a pretty sight.” 

The captain went and begged for admission to Wynd- 
ham’s cabin. There was no answer, so he opened the 
door and poked his red smiling face round. 

“ Bless me, the boy’s asleep,” he said ; and he came up 
and took a good look at his new passenger. 

Gerald was dreaming now, and a smile played about his 
lips. Suddenly he opened his eyes and said : — 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


77 


“ Yes, Valentine, yes, I’m coming ! ” and sprang to his 
feet. 

The captain was standing with his legs a little apart, 
looking at him. The vessel gave a lurch, and Wyndham 
staggered. 

“ Are we off?” he said. “Good God, are we really 
off?” 

“ We were off an hour ago, young sir. Come up on 
deck and see what a pretty coast line we have just here.” 

Wyndham put his hand to his forehead. 

“ I have been cheated,” he said suddenly. “ Yes. I’ve 
been cheated. I can’t speak about it ; things weren’t 
clear to me last night, but I had a dream, and I know now 
what it all means. I woke with some words on my lips. 
What did I say, captain ? ” 

“ You called to some fellow of the name of Valentine — 
your brother, perhaps.” 

“ I haven’t a brother. The person to whom I called was 
a woman — my wife. She was coming on board. She 
would have sailed with me if we had waited. Now it is 
too late.” 

The captain raised his shaggy brows the tenth of an 
inch. 

“ They must be sending him on this voyage on account 
of his health,” he mentally soliloquized. “ Now I see day- 
light. A little touched, poor fellow. Pity — nice fellow. 
Well, the chief might have trusted me. Of course I must 
humor him, poor lad. Come on deck,” he said aloud. 
“ It’s beastly close down here. You should have the port- 
hole open, the sea is like glass. Come on deck and get 
a breath of fresh air. Isn’t Valentine a rather uncommon 
name for a woman? Yes, of course, I heard you were 
married. Well, well, you’ll be home again in six months. 
Now come on deck and look around you.” 

“ Look here, captain,” said Gerald suddenly. “ I can't 

12 


7 « 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


explain matters. I daresay you think me queer, but you’re 
mistaken.” 

“ They all go on that tack,” muttered the captain. 
“ Another symptom. Well, I must humor him. I don’t 
think you queer,” he said, aloud. “ You’re finely mistaken. 
You had a dream, and you called on your wife, whom you 
have just parted from. What more natural ? Bless you, 
I know all about it. I was married myself.” 

“ And you left your wife ? ” 

“ I left her, and what is worse she left me. She went 
up to the angels. Bless her memory, she was a young 
thing. I see her yet, as she bade me good-bye. Come on 
deck, lad.” 

“ Yes ; come on deck,” said Gerald hoarsely. 

All that day he was silent, sitting mostly apart and by 
himself. 

But the captain had his eye on him. In the evening he 
came again to Captain Jellyby. 

“ You touch at Plymouth, don’t you? ” 

“ Sometimes.” 

“ This voyage, I mean.” 

“ No.” 

“ I wish you to stop at Plymouth.” 

“ Look here, my lad. ‘ No ’ is the only word I can give 
you. We don’t touch land till we get to Teneriffe. Go and 
lie down and have a sleep. We shall have a calm sea to- 
night, and you look fagged out.” 

“ Ar.e you a man to be bribed ? ” began Wyndham. 

“I am ashamed of you. I am not.” 

The captain turned his back on him. Wyndham caught 
him by his shoulder. 

“ Are you a man to be moved to pity ? ” 

“ Look here, my lad, I can pity to any extent ; but if you 
think any amount of compassion will turn me from my 
duty, you’re in the wrong box. It’s my duty, clear as the 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


179 


sky above, to go straight on to Teneriffe, and on I shall go. 
You understand?” 

“ Yes,” said Gerald, “ I understand. Thank you, cap- 
tain, I won’t bother you further.” 

His voice had altered, his brow had cleared. He 
walked away to the further end of the deck, whistling a 
light air. The captain saw him stop to pay some small 
attention to a lady passenger. 

“ Bless me, if I understand the fellow ! ” he muttered. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


180 


CHAPTER XXXI. 

When a die has been cast — cast irrevocably — as a rule 
there follows a calm. It is sometimes the calm of peace, 
sometimes that of despair ; but there is always a stillness, 
effort is over, words don’t avail, actions are paralyzed. 

Gerald Wyndham sat on deck most of that evening. 
There was a married lady, a certain Mrs. Harvey, on board, 
she was going to Australia with her husband and one little 
girl. She was about thirty, and very delicate. Gerald’s 
face took her fancy, and they struck up an acquaintance. 

The evening was so calm, so mild, the water so still, the 
sky above so clear that the passengers brought wraps and 
lingered long on deck. Mrs. Harvey talked all the time 
to Gerald. He answered her not only politely but with 
interest. She was an interesting woman, she could talk 
well, she had great sympathy, and she wanted to draw 
Wyndham out. In this she failed, although she imagined 
she succeeded. He learned much of her history, for she 
was very communicative, but when she joined her husband 
downstairs later that evening she could not tell him a single 
thing about their fellow-passenger. 

“ He has a nice face,” they both remarked, and they 
wondered who he was. 

It did not occur to them to speak of him as sad-looking. 
On the contrary, Mrs. Harvey spoke of his cheerful smile 
and of his strong appreciation of humor. 

“ It is delightful to meet a man who can see a joke,” she 
said. “ Most of them are so dense.” 

a I wonder which family of Wyndhams he belongs to,” 
remarked the husband. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


181 


“ I wonder if he is married,” added the wife. 

Then they both resolved that they would find out to- 
morrow. But they did not, for the next day Wyndham 
did not come on deck at all. He stayed in his own cabin, 
and had one or two interviews with the captain. 

“ You know very little about me, Captain Jellyby,” he 
said, once. 

“ I know that you are married to Miss Paget,” replied 
the captain, “ and I am given to understand that she is a 
very charming young lady.” 

“ I want you to keep the fact of my marriage to your- 
self.” 

The captain looked a little surprised. 

“ Certainly, if you wish it,” he said. 

“ I do wish it. I am knocked over to-day, for the fact is, 
I — I have gone through some trouble, but I don’t mean 
to inflict my troubles on you or my fellow-passengers. 
I hope I shall prove an acquisition rather than otherwise 
on board the Esperance. But what I do not want, what 
would be particularly repellant to me, is that the other 
saloon passengers should gossip about me. When they 
find that I don’t talk about myself, or my people, or my 
wife, they will become curious, and ply you with questions. 
Will you be mum on the subject? ” 

“ Mum as the grave,” said the captain rising and 
stretching himself. “ Lord, we’ll have some fun over 
this. If there are a deadly curious, gossiping, wrangling, 
hole picking set in this wide world, it’s the saloon pas- 
sengers on board a boat of this kind. I’ll make up a 
beautiful mystery about you, my fine fellow. Won’t they 
enjoy it ! Why, it will be the saving of them.” 

“ Make up any mystery you like,” replied Wyndham, 
“only don’t tell them the truth. That is, I mean, what 
you know of the truth.” 

“ And that’s nothing,” muttered the captain to himself 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


182 

as he went away. “ Bless me, he is a queer fellow. 
Touched — he must be touched.” 

Gerald spent twenty-four hours in God only knows what 
deep waters of mental agony. The other passengers 
thought he was suffering from an attack of sea-sickness, 
for they were just now meeting the heavy channel sea, 
and the captain did not undeceive them. They passed 
Plymouth before Gerald again appeared on deck, and 
when he once more joined his fellow-passengers they 
were outside the Bay of Biscay. 

Gerald had not suffered from any bodily discomfort, 
but others on board the Esperance were less fortunate, and 
when he once more took his place in the saloon, and went 
up on deck, he found that work, which all his life long 
seemed to fall to his share, once more waiting for him. 
It was the work of making other people comfortable. 
The Harveys’ little girl was very weak and fretful. She 
had gone through a bad time, but when Wyndham lifted 
her in his arms, sat down with her in a sheltered part of 
the deck, .and told her some funny fairy tales, his influ- 
ence worked like the wand of a good magician. She 
smiled, told Mr. Wyndham he was a very nice man, gave 
him a kiss, and ran downstairs presently to eat her supper 
with appetite. 

Little Cecily Harvey was not the only person who came 
under Wyndham’s soothing influence. During this first 
evening he found himself more or less in the position of 
a sort of general sick-nurse. But the next day people 
were better, and then he appeared in another role. He 
could entertain, with stories, with music, with song. He 
could recite ; above all tilings he could organize, and had 
a knack of showing off other people to the best advantage. 
Long before a week had passed, Wyndham was the most 
popular person on board. He was not only popular with 
saloon passengers, but with the emigrants. There were 


A LTFE FOR A LOVE . 


1*3 

several on board, and he often spent some hours with 
them, playing with the children, and talking with the 
mothers, or, rather, getting the mothers to talk to him. 

They were flying south now, and every day the air grew 
more balmy and the sea smoother. The emigrants, boys 
and girls, fathers and mothers, used to lie out on the deck 
in the sun, and a very pretty picture they made ; the 
children rolling about laughing and playing, and the 
mothers, most of them were young mothers, looking on 
and regarding them with pride. 

There was scarcely an emigrant mother on board that 
ship who had not confided her story, her hopes and her 
fears to Wyndham, before the voyage was over. 

Soon that thing happened which had happened long ago 
at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, which had happened in the 
small house in Park-lane, which had happened even with 
the odds against him to his wife — everybody loved Wynd- 
ham. Hearts warmed as he came near, eyes brightened 
when they looked at him. He was in the position of a 
universal favorite. That sometimes is a dangerous position. 
But not in his case, for he was too unselfish to make 
enemies. 

All this time, while his life was apparently drifting, while 
the hours were apparently gliding on to no definite or 
especial goal, to a landing at Melbourne — to a journey 
across a new Continent — while his days were going by to 
all intents and purposes like anybody else’s days, he knew 
that between him and them lay an immeasurable gulf. He 
knew that he was not drifting, but going very rapidly 
down a hill. The fact is, Wyndham knew that the end, 
as far as he was concerned, was near. 

His father-in-law had planned one thing, but he had 
planned another. He told no one of this, he never 
whispered this to a living creature, but his own mind was 
inexorably made up. He knew it when he bade his father 


184 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


good-bye* that last Sunday ; when he looked at Lilias and 
Marjory, and the other children, he knew it ; he knew it 
when he kissed his wife’s cheek that last morning when 
she slept. In his own way he could be a man of iron will. 
His will was as iron in this special matter. Only once 
had his determination been shaken, and that was when he 
pleaded with Valentine, and when he hoped against hope 
that she would listen to his prayer. The last lingering 
sparks of that hope died away when the captain refused 
to touch at Plymouth. After that moment his own fixed 
will never wavered. 

His father-in-law had asked him for half a death; he 
should have a whole one. That was all. Many another 
man had done what he meant to do before. Still it was 
the End — the great End. No one could go beyond it. 

He made his plans very carefully ; he knew to effect his 
object he must be extremely careful. He would die, but it 
must never be supposed, never breathed by mortal soul 
that he had passed out of this world except by accident. 
He knew perfectly what the captain thought of him during 
the first couple of days of his residence on board the 
Esperance. 

“ Captain Jellyby is positive that I am touched in the 
head,” thought Wyndham. “ I must undo that suspicion.” 

He took pains, and he succeeded admirably. Wyndham 
was not only a favorite on board, but he was cheerful, he 
was gay. People remarked not on his high but on his 
good spirits. 

“ Sueh a merry, light-hearted fellow,” they said of him. 

Wyndham overheard these remarks now and then. The 
captain openly delighted in him. 

“ The ship will never be lucky again when you leave 
her,” he said. “ You’re worth a free passage to any cap- 
tain. Why you keep us all in good humor. Passengers, 
emigrants, sailors and all. Here, come along. I thought 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


I8 S 

you rather a gloomy young chap when first I set eyes on 
you ; but now — ah, well, you were homesick. Quite 
accountable. Here, I have a request from the second 
mate, and one or two more of the jack tars down there. 
They want you to sing them a song after supper. They 
say it isn’t fair that we should have you to ourselves in the 
saloon.” 

Gerald laughed, said he would be happy to oblige the 
sailors, and walked away. 

“ As jolly a chap as ever I laid eyes on,” muttered the 
captain. “ I liked him from the first, but I was mistaken 
in him. I thought him gloomy. Not a bit. I wonder 
his wife could bear to let him out of her sight. I wouldn’t 
if I were a lass. There, hark to him now ! Bless me, we 
are having a pleasant voyage this time.” 

So they were. No one was ill ; the amount of rough 
weather was decidedly below the average, and cheerfulness 
and contentment reigned on board. 

The ship touched at Teneriffe, but only for a few hours, 
and then sped on her way to the Cape. It was now getting 
very hot, and an awning was spread over the deck. Under 
this the saloon passengers sat, and smoked and read. No 
one suspected, no one had the faintest shadow of a suspi- 
cion that black care lurked anywhere on board that happy 
ship, least of all in the breast of*the merriest of its crew, 
Gerald Wyndham. 

The Esperance reached the Cape in safety, there some 
of the passengers, Gerald amongst them, landed, for the 
captain intended to lie at anchor for twenty-four hours. 
Then again they were away, and now they were told they 
must expect colder weather for they were entering the 
Southern Ocean, and were approaching high latitudes of 
polar cold. They would have to go through the rough 
sea of the “ Roaring Forties,” and then again they would 
emerge into tropical sunshine. 


1 86 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Soon after they left the Cape, little Cecily Harvey fell 
ill. She caught a chill and was feverish, and the doctor 
and her mother forbade her to go on deck. She was only 
eight years old, a pretty, winsome child. Gerald felt a 
special tenderness for her, 'for she reminded him of his own 
little sister Joan. During this illness she often lay for 
hours in his arms, with her little feverish cheek pressed 
against his, and her tiny hot hand comforted by his firm 
cool clasp. 

“ Mr. Wyndham,” she said on one of these occasions, 
“ I wish you wouldn’t do it.” 

“ Do what, Cecily ? ” 

“ Run up the rigging as you do. I heard one of the 
sailors talking to Mrs. Meyrich the other day, and he said 
you were too daring, and some day you’d have a slip, and 
be overboard, if you did not look sharp.” 

“ Oh, I’ll take care of myself, Cecily. At one time I 
thought of being a sailor, and I was always climbing, always 
climbling at home. There isn’t the least fear. I’m not 
rash. I’m a very careful fellow.” 

“Are you? Pm glad of that. Had you tall trees at your 
home ? ” 

Gerald gave the little hand a squeeze. 

“ They were like other trees,” he said. “ Don’t let us 
talk of them.” 

“ Mustn’t we ? I’m sorry. I wanted to hear all about 
your home.” 

“ I haven’t a home, Cecily. Once I had one, but you can 
understand that it is painful to speak of what one has 
lost.” 

“ I’m very sorry for you, dear Mr. Wyndham. Did you 
lose a little sister, too ? Is that why you squeeze me so 
tight ? ” 

“ I have lost many little sisters ; we won’t talk of them, 
either. What is the matter, Cecily ? Do you feel faint ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


187 

“ No, but I hate this rough, choppy sea. I want it to be 
smooth again as it used to be. Then I can go on deck, 
and lie under the awning, and you can sit near me, and tell 
me stories. Will you ? ” 

Gerald did not answer. 

“ Will you, Mr. Wyndham ? ” 

“ I can lie to everyone else but not to the child/’ mut- 
tered Gerald. 

He roused himself, and sought to divert her attention. 

“ We are in the * Roaring Forties ’ now,” he said. “ Isn’t 
that a funny name ? The sea is always very choppy and 
rough here, but it won’t last long. You will soon be in 
pleasant weather and smooth seas again. 

Cecily was not satisfied, and Gerald presently left her 
and went on deck. 

The weather was not pleasant just now, it was cold and 
squally, always veering about and causing a choppy and 
disagreeable motion with the ship. Some of the ladies 
took again to their beds, and went through another spell 
of sea-sickness ; the thore fortunate ones sat and chatted 
in the great saloon — not one of them ventured on deck. 
Gerald, who was not in the least indisposed in body, found 
plenty to do in his role of general cheerer and comforter. 
When he was not nursing little Cecily he spent some time 
with the emigrants, amongst whom he was a great favorite. 

On this particular day a round-faced young woman of 
five and twenty, a certain Mrs. Notley, came up to him 
the moment he appeared on the lower deck. 

“ They do say it, sir, and I thought I’d speak to you, so 
that you wouldn’t mind. They do say you’re over rash 
in helping the sailors — over rash, and none so sure-footed 
as you think yourself.” 

“Folly,” said Gerald, laughing good-humoredly. “So 
I can’t run up a rope or tighten a rigging without people 
imagining that I am putting my precious life in jeopardy. 


1 88 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Don’t you listen to any foolish tales, Mrs. Notley. I’m a 
great deal too fond of myself to run any risks. I shan’t 
slip, if that’s what you mean — for that matter I have 
always been climbing, since I was a little chap no bigger 
than that urchin of yours there.” 

“ Ay, sir, that’s all very well, but it’s different for all that 
on board ship ; there may come a lurch when you least 
look for it, and then the surest-footed and the surest-handed 
is sometimes outwitted. You’ll excuse my mentioning of 
it, sir, but you’re a bonny young gentleman, and you has 
the goodwill of everyone on board.” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Notley, I like to hear you say so. 
It is pleasant to be liked.” 

** Ah, sure you are that, and no mistake, and you’ll for- 
give me mentioning it, sir, but you’ll be careful, won’t you ? 
You ain’t married for sure, for your face is too lightsome 
for that of a married man. But maybe you has a mother 
and a sweetheart, and you might think of them, sir, and 
not be over daring.” 

Wyndham’s face grew suddenly white. 

“ As it happens I have neither a mother nor sweetheart,” 
he said. Then he turned away somewhat abruptly, and 
Mrs. Notley feared she had offended him. 

The sailors prophesied “ dirty weather ; ” they expected 
it, for this was the roughest part of the voyage. Gerald 
was very fond of talking to the sailors and getting their 
opinions. He strolled over to where a group of them were 
standing now, and they pointed to some ugly looking 
clouds, and told him that the storm would be on them by 
night. 

Nothing very bad, or to be alarmed at, they said, still 
a rough and nasty sea. with a bit of a gale blowing. The 
women and children wouldn’t like it, poor things, and it 
would be a dark night too, no moon. 

Gerald asked a few more questions. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


189 


“I have a great anxiety to see a storm,” he said. “ If 
it gets realiy stormy, I’ll come up ; I can shelter beside 
the man at the wheel.” 

“ Better not, sir,” one or two said. “ The vessel is sure 
to lurch over a good bit, and it takes more sea-weather 
legs than yours to keep their footing at such a time.” 

“ All the same,” remarked a burly-looking sailor, who 
was to take his place at the wheel for some hours that 
night, and thought Gerald’s company would be a decided 
acquisition, “ I could put the gent into a corner where he’d 
be safe enough round here, and it’s something to see a gale 
in these parts — something to live for — not that there’ll be 
much to-night, only a bit of a dirty sea ; but still ” 

“ Expect me, Loggan, if it does come,” said Wyndham. 
He laughed and turned away. He walked slowly along 
the upper deck. Captain Jellyby came up and had a word 
with him. 

“ Yes, we’re in for a dirty night,” he remarked. 

Then Wyndham went downstairs. He chatted for a 
little with the ladies in the saloon. Then he went into his 
own cabin. He shut the door. The time had arrived — 
the hour had come. 

He felt wonderfully calm and quiet ; he was not excited, 
nor did his conscience smite him with a sense of any special 
wrong-doing. Right or wrong he was going to do some- 
thing on which no blessing could be asked, over which no 
prayer could be uttered. He had been brought up in a 
house where prayers had been many ; he had whispered his 
own baby prayers to his mother when he was a little child. 
Well, well, he would not think of these things now. The 
hour was come, the moment for action was ripe. There 
was a little daylight, and during that time he meant to 
occupy himself with one last task ; he would write a letter 
to his wife, a cheerful, bright everyday letter, to the wife 
for whose sake he was about to rush unbidden into the 




i 9 o A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 

arms of death. He had a part to act, and this letter was 
in the programme. To make all things safe and above 
suspicion he must write it, and leave it carelessly on his 
table, so that the next ship they touched should convey it 
to her. 

He took out a sheet of foreign notepaper, and wrote 
steadily. His hand did not shake, he covered the whole 
sheet of paper ; his words were bright, contented ; no 
shadow of gloom touched them. They were full of antici- 
pation, of pleasure in the moment — of pleasure in the 
coming reunion. 

The writing of this letter was the very hardest task of 
the man’s whole life. When it was over great drops of 
sweat stood on his forehead. He read it steadily from 
beginning to end, however, and his only fear was that it 
was too bright, and that she might see through it, as in a 
mirror, the anguish beneath. 

The letter was written, and now Wyndham had nothing 
to do. He had but to sit with his hands before him, and 
wait for the gathering darkness and the ever-increasing 
gale. 

He sat for nearly an hour in his own cabin, he was past 
any consecutive thought now ; still, so great was the con- 
straint he was able to put over himself that outwardly he 
was quite calm. Presently he went into the saloon. Cecily 
Harvey alone was there, all the ladies having gone in to 
dinner. She sprang up with a cry of delight when she saw 
Gerald. 

“ Mr. Wyndham, have you come to stay with me ? Why 
aren’t you at dinner ? How white you look.” 

“ I am not hungry, Cecily. I thought you would be 
alone, and I came out to see you. I wanted you to give 
me a kiss.” 

“ Of course I will — of course I will,” said the affection- 
ate child, throwing her arms around his neck, 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


191 

You remind me of one of the little sisters I have lost,” 
he said hurriedly. “ Thank you, Cecily, thank you. Be 
a good child, always.. I would say ‘ God bless you ’ if I 
dared.” 

“ Why don’t you dare ? You are a good man, a very 
good man, the best I know.” 

“ Hush, Cecily, you don’t know what you are talking 
about. Give me another kiss. Thank you sweet little 
girl.” 

He went back again to his own cabin. The longing for 
compassion at this crucial moment had made him run a 
risk in talking so to Cecily. He blamed himself, but 
scarcely regretted the act. 

It was certainly going to be a dirty night, and already 
the sailors were busy overhead. The good ship creaked 
and strained as she fought her way through the waters. 
The ladies loudly expressed their uneasiness, and the 
gentleman-gassengers fought down some qualms which 
they considered unmanly. 

Wyndham rose from his seat in the dark, pressed his 
lips to the letter he had written to his wife, suddenly he 
started, reeled a step and fell back. 

There is no accounting for what happened — but happen 
it did. 

Valentine herself stood beside him , stretched out her 
arms to him, uttered a brief cry, and then vanished. 

He felt like a madman ; he pressed his hands to his head 
and rushed on deck. 

“Stand there, Mr. Wyndham, there,” said the sailor 
Loggan. “ You’ll be safe enough. Oh, yes, more than 
one wave will wash us. Shall I lash you to the wheel, sir ? 
Maybe it would be safer.” 

“ No, no, thank you.” 

The voice was quite quiet and calm again. 


192 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Certainly the night was a rough one, but between and 
under the loud voice of the storm, Loggan and his com- 
panion exchanged some cheerful phrases. 

“No, sir, I ain’t never afeared.” 

“ What if you were to go to the bottom ? ” 

“ The will of the good God be done, sir. I’d go a-doing 
of my duty.” 

“ You’re an honest fellow, Loggan; shake hands with 
me.” 

“ That I will, Mr. Wyndham. What are you doing 
with that rope, sir ? It’s cold, it’s slippery — oh, the knot 
has got loose, I’ll call a mail to tighten it, sir ; let me — let 
me. You’ll be over, sir, if you don’t look out ; we’re going 
to lunge this way. Take care, sir — take car z—for God's 
sake , take care ! ” 

Wyndham took care. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


*93 


CHAPTER XXXII. 

The summer came early that year. The rectory was a 
charming place in the summer, and on this particular 
bright day in June one of the numerous school-feasts was 
in course of preparation, and all the young Wyndhams 
were working with a will and energy which could scarcely 
be surpassed. The feast was in full progress ; the village 
children consumed tea and buns, as only village children 
can. Augusta was refusing to help the babies to any 
more ; Joan and Betty were half-crying because she 
snatched the rich currant buns out of their hands ; Mar- 
jory was leading the most obstreporous members of her 
flock away to the other end of the long meadow, where 
they could play orange and lemons, nuts in May, and 
other festive games ; and Lilias, as she helped to pack 
away the remnants of the feast, was answering some ques- 
tions of Carr’s. 

“We ought to have heard by now,” she was saying. 
“ My father is a little uneasy, but I am not — at least, of 
course, I am anxious for Valentine. The suspense must 
be very trying for her ! ” 

“ When did your brother’s ship sail ? ” 

“ On the 25th of March.” 

“And this is the 15th of June. Th z Esperance must 
have been reported at Lloyd’s long ago.” 

“ How stupid of me never to think of that,” said Lilias, 
her face brightening. “ But would they not put the arri- 
vals in the papers ? I have certainly looked and never 
seen it.” 

“ You have probably overlooked it. I will write and in- 
quire for you. The Esperance , even allowing for delays, 


194 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


has probably reached its destination some weeks ago. On 
the other hand it would be scarcely possible for you to 
have had a letter from your brother. Yes, you are right 
not to be anxious ; I will go and have a chat witli your 
father presently. Is Mrs. Wyndham well? ” 

“ I think so — fairly well. She is coming to stay with us 
next week. ,> 

Carr strolled away. 

“ What a nice comfortable young man he is turning 
into,” said Marjory, who came up at that moment. “ Ah, 
yes, your face is brighter already for having had an inter- 
view with him. Whisper no secrets to me. I know — I 
know.” 

Lilias’ clear brown skin was transfused with color. 

“ Don’t be silly, Marjory,” she said. “ I don’t mind 
owning that Mr. Carr is a comfortable person to talk to. 
He has just been removing my fears about Gerald.” 

“ Oh, I thought you had no fears.” 

“ Well, father’s fears, then. He has been saying things 
to me which will remove my father’s fears completely.” 

“ That is right — Heaven be praised. You and the rector 
are nothing but a pair of old croaks lately. Hey-ho ! I 
am perfectly weary of your long faces and your apprehen- 
sions. Thank goodness. Val is coming ; she’ll wake us up 
a little.” 

Lilias opened her dark eyes. 

“ I did not know you cared so much for Valentine,” she 
said. 

“ I admired her very much the last time I saw her. 
That was a month ago — she seemed so spirited and cour- 
ageous. I used to think her something of a doll, but she’s 
a woman now, and a fine one. Perhaps it’s the thought of 
the baby coming.” 

“ Or perhaps,” said Lilias, “ she has found out at last 
\vhat our Gerald is.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


195 


“ Both, most likely,” said Marjory. “ Anyhow, she’s 
changed ; and the funniest part is that that old man ’* 

“ What old man, Marjory ? ” 

“ Don’t interrupt me — her father. I always call him 
that old man — well, I think he’s afraid of her. She doesn’t 
pet him the way she used, but she’s very gentle with him. 
Oh, she’s a good bit altered ; there’s something in her now.” 

“ I suppose there was always something in her,” said 
Lilias. “ For Gerald ” — her lips trembled — “ gave up so 
much for her.” 

“ No more than any man gives up for any woman,” said 
Marjory. “ A man shall leave his father and mother. Oh, 
yes, poor old Lil, I know how you felt it. You always 
made an idol of Gerald. I suppose you’ll marry some 
day ; you are so pretty — and h’m — h’m — there’s somebody 
waiting for somebody — there, I don’t want to tease, only 
when you do marry, my pretty sister, I wonder if he’ll 
come inside Gerald in your heart.” 

lt I won’t marry until I love some one even better than 
my only brother,” replied Lilias in a grave voice. “ That 
time has not come yet,” she added, and then she turned 
away. 

The games went on as fast as ever ; Marjory romped 
with the merriest. Lilias was graver than her sister, not 
so fond of pastimes, perhaps not quite so generally popu- 
lar. She went into the house, sat down by the organ in 
the hall and began to play. She had almost as much 
talent as Gerald ; her fingers wandered over the keys, she 
was in a dreamy mood, and her thoughts were carrying her 
back to a bygone scene — to Gerald’s face on that Sunday 
night. She heard again the rich tones of his voice, and 
heard his words : — 

“ Till in the ocean of Thy love 
We loose ourselves in Heaven above.” 


196 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 




“ Oh, Gerald,” she said with a kind of sob, “ things have 
been hard for me since you went away. It was not your 
marriage alone, I had prepared myself for that ; but it was 
more — it was more. The Church of God — you gave that 
up. Yes, yes. There has been a shut door between us, 
Gerald, since you and Valentine first met; and where are 
you now — where are you now ? ” 

“ Lilias,” said little Joan running in breathlessly, a father 
wants you in his study, quickly. I don't think he’s quite 
well. He has just had a letter, and he looks so queer.” 

“ I’ll go to him at once,” said Lilias. 

She could be apprehensive enough, but in real danger, 
in times of real anxiety, her head could be cool and her 
steps firm. 

“ Yes, father,” she said, motioning the frightened little 
Joan away. 

She shut the library door behind her. 

“ Yes, father. What is it? Jo says that you have got 
a letter, and that you want me.” 

“Oh, I don’t suppose it’s anything,” said the rector. 
“ That is, I don’t mean to be uneasy. Here’s the letter, 
Lilias. You ought to read it, perhaps. It’s from Paget. 
Pie is evidently nervous himself, but I don’t suppose there 
is any need. Read it, and tell me what you think.” 

The rector thrust a sheet of paper into his daughter’s 
hand. Then went over to one of his book shelves and 
pretended to be busy rummaging up some folios. Lilias 
read as follows : — 

“ My Dear Sir, — I write on a subject of some little anxiety. I 
did not wish to trouble you before it was necessary, but now I confess 
that we — I refer to my house of business— have cause to feel uneasiness 
with regard to the fate of the Esperance . She is quite a month overdue at 
Sydney ; even allowing for all possible delays, she is at least that time 
overdue. The last tidings of her were from the Cape, and it is feared 
from their date that she must have encountered rough weather in the 
Southern Ocean. Nothing is known, however, and every hour we look 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*97 


for a cable announcing her arrival at Melbourne if not at Sydney. It 
is possible she may have been injured, which will account for the delay, 
but I scarcely apprehend anything worse. I ought scarcely to say that 
I am anxious ; up to the present there is no real cause to apprehend 
anything worse than an accident to the vessel. Vessels are often a 
month behind their time, and all is satisfactorily explained at the end. 
I am now troubling you with regard to another matter. I do not want 
my daughter and your son’s wife to be needlessly alarmed. It is most 
important that her mind should be kept free from apprehension until 
after the birth of their child. You kindly asked her to go to see you. 
Can you have her at the rectory at once ? And will you send Lilias 
to fetch her ? I know you and yours will keep all fears from her, and, 
poor child, she reads my face like a book. 

Yours faithfully, 

“ Mortimer Paget.” 

“ Well, Lilias,” said the rector. “ Well ? He’s a little 
over nervous, isn’t he, eh ? Vessels are often a month 
overdue. Eh, Lilias ? But of course they are. Somehow 
I’m not nervous since I got that letter. I was before, but 
not now.” 

He rubbed his hands together as he spoke. 

“ It’s summer now, and we’ll have Gerald back before 
the next snow comes. I told the boy so when he bid me 
good-bye ; he was a bit upset that night after you girls 
went to bed. Poor fellow, I had quite to cheer him ; he’s 
a very affectionate lad. No, I’m not nervous, and I won- 
der at Paget. But what do you think, Lilias ? ” 

Lilias folded up the letter, and put it back in her old 
father’s hand. Then she stole her arm round his neck, 
and kissed him. 

“ We will be brave,” she said. “ If we have fears we 
won’t speak of them ; we have got to think of Valentine 
now, not of ourselves.” 

The rector almost shook Lilias’ hand from his neck. 

“ Fears,” he said, in a light and cheerful voice, a voice 
which was belied by his tremulous hands, and by his almost 


a life for a love. 


198 

petulant movement. “ Fears ! my dear girl, they really 
don't exist. At this moment, were we clairvoyant, we 
should see Gerald either rising leisurely from a good night’s 
rest, or sitting down to his breakfast in one of those lux- 
urious houses one reads of in Froude’s ‘ Oceana.’ Vessels 
like the Esperance don't go to the bottom. Now, Lil, at 
what hour will you go to fetch Valentine? You will go 
up to town to-morrow, of course.” 

“ By the first train,” replied Lilias. Her lips quivered. 
She turned away ; there was nothing more to be said. Her 
father’s manner did not in the least deceive her. 

“ Dear old man ! ” she said to herself. “ If he can be 
brave, so will I. But oh, Gerald, does any heart ache 
more for you than the heart of your sister Lilias ? ” 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


•99 


CHAPTER XXXIII. 

Valentine had got a blow. The first real great blow 
which had ever been dealt to her. It had a most curious 
effect. Instead of stunning or rendering her weak and in- 
capable, it suddenly changed her from a child into a 
practical and clever and wide-awake woman. The very 
quality of her voice changed. It became full, and inspired 
respect the moment she spoke. She was quite aware that 
her father had deceived her, that he did not mean her to 
accompany Gerald to Sydney. 

She said nothing about this knowledge — not even that 
evening when she got home and found her father looking 
ten years older, but standing on the step of her own little 
home waiting for her. 

11 1 was too late,” she said, quietly. “ The Esperance 
sailed four hours before its time. I must do without 
Gerald for six months ; in six months he will be home.” 

“ In six months,” echoed Mr. Paget, following her up- 
stairs to the drawing-room. “ Kiss me, my darling,” he 
said. “ Valentine, you will come back to your own home 
to-morrow.” 

Valentine raised her cheek to meet her father’s lips. 

“ I think I would rather remain here,” she said. 11 This, 
after all, is my only real home ; you don’t mind my keeping 
the house, do you, father ? ” 

“ No, my dear, if you wish it. Only I thought ” 

His last words came out almost tremulously. 

“ Sometimes we are mistaken in our thoughts,” respond- 
ed Valentine. “ 1 should like best to stay on in my hus- 
band’s house. Six months will not be long passing ; and — 
father, I have some news for you. In July — if I live until 


200 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


July — God is going to give me a child — Gerald’s child and 
mine. I should like it to be born here.” 

“ Thank God,” exclaimed Mr, Paget. “ I am very glad 
of this, Valentine,” he said. “ This — this — is an inestim- 
able mercy. I hope your child will be a son. My dear 
daughter, this news lifts a great weight off my mind.” 

He looked what he felt, delighted. 

“ Of course you must live wherever you like best,” he 

said. “ July — this is March — the child’s father will be ” 

but he did not finish this sentence. 

He went away soon afterwards. Ten years had been 
added to his life in that one single day. 

He knew, one glance into Valentine’s eyes told him, that 
she no longer believed in him. What was any success 
with the heart of his darling turned aside ? 

He walked home feeling tottering and feeble ; he had 
had a blow, but also a strong consolation — his daughter’s 
child — his grandson. Of course the child should be a 
boy. There was something to live for in such news as 
this. A boy to step into his shoes by-and-bye — to keep 
up the credit of the old house ; a boy who should have no 
shame on him, and no dark history. Yes, yes, this was 
very good news, and unlooked for ; he had much to live 
for yet. 

After this Mr. Paget followed his daughter about like a 
shadow. Every day her mind and her powers were develop- 
ing in fresh directions. She had certainly lost some of the 
charm of her childish ways, but her gain had been greater 
than her loss. Her face had always been spirituelle, the 
expression sprightly, the eyes under their arched brows full 
of light. People had spoken of the girlish face as beau- 
tiful, but now that it belonged to a grave and patient, in 
some respects a suffering woman, they found that it pos- 
sessed more than ordinary loveliness. The soul had come 
back again into Valentine’s eyes. She knew two things. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


201 


She was loved — her husband told her that no woman had 
ever been loved so well before. She was also to become 
a mother. She considered herself, notwithstanding her 
crosses, blessed among women, and she resolved to live 
worthily. 

Patience and faith both were hers, and whenever she felt 
inclined to rebel, to fret, to fume, she thought of the day 
when she should show her baby to her husband, and tell 
him face to face that all her heart, all her best affections 
were divided between him and their child. 

She kept to her resolution of living on in the little house 
in Park Lane. She led a busy life, interesting herself a 
good deal in the anxieties and cares of others. When a 
woman takes up that role she always finds abundance to 
do, for there are few pairs of shoulders that have not a 
burden to carry. She also wrote by every mail to her hus- 
band. She had already received one letter from him, 
posted at Teneriffe. This letter was affectionate — cheerful. 
Valentine read it over and over, it was a very nice letter, 
but its words did not reach down into her heart as that 
other letter of Gerald’s, written before he sailed, had done. 
She was puzzled by it. Still she owned to herself that it 
was just the letter she ought to receive, just the pleasant 
happy words of a man who was leading a busy and useful 
life ; who was going away for a definite object, and hoped 
soon to return to his wife and his home. 

All went well with Valentine until a certain day. She 
rose as usual on the morning of that day, went down to 
breakfast, opened one or two letters, attended to a couple 
of domestic matters, and went slowly back to the drawing- 
room. She liked to dust and tidy her little drawing-room 
herself. She had put it in order this morning, had arranged 
fresh flowers in the vases, and was finally giving one or two 
fresh touches to Gerald’s violin, which she always kept 
near her own piano, when she was startled by the con- 
sciousness that she was not alone. 


262 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


She raised her head, turned quickly, a cold air seemed 
to blow on her face. 

“ Valentine ! ” said her husband’s voice, in a tone of 
unspeakable agony. 

She fancied she even saw his shadowy outline.* She 
stretched out her arms to him — he faded away. 


That afternoon Mrs. Wyndham paid her father a visit 
in the City. She was shown into his private room by 
Helps, who eyed her from head to foot with great anxiety. 

Mr. Paget looked into her face and grew perceptibly 
paler. He was certainly nervous in these days — nervous, 
and very much aged in appearance. 

“ Is anything wrong, Valentine ? ” he could not help say- 
ing to his daughter. It was the last sentence he wished to 
pass his lips — he bit them with vexation after the words 
had escaped them. 

“Sit down, my dear;- have you come to take me for a 
drive, like — like — old times ? ” 

“ I have not, father. I have come to know when you 
expect to hear tidings of the arrival of the Esperance at 
Sydney.” 

“ Not yet, Valentine. Impossible so soon. In any case 
we shall have a cable from Melbourne first — the vessel will 
touch there.” 

“ When are you likely to hear from Melbourne ? ” 

“ Not for some days yet.” 

“ But you know the probable time. Can you not ascer- 
tain it ? Will you hear in ten days ? In a week ? In three 
days ? ’ 

“You are persistent, Valentine.” 

Mr. Paget raised his eyes and looked at her from head 
to foot. 

“ I will ascertain,” he said in an almost cold voice, as 
he sounded an electric bell by his side. 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE . 


2503 

Helps answered the summons. 

“ Helps, when is the Esperance due at Melbourne ? ” 

Again Helps glanced quickly at Mrs. Wyndham \ he 
was standing rather behind her, but could catch a glimpse 
of her face. 

“ By the end of May,” he said, speaking slowly. His 
quick eyes sought his chiefs ; they took their cue. “ Not 
sooner,” he continued. “ Possibly by the end of May.” 

“ Thank you,” said Valentine. 

The man withdrew. 

“ I have nearly a month to wait,” she said, rising and 
looking at her father. “ I did not know that the voyage 
would be such a lengthy one. When you do hear the news 
will be bad, father ; yes, the news will be bad. I have 
nothing to say about it, no explanation to offer, only I 
know.” 

Before Mr. Paget could make a single reply, Valentine 
had left him. He was decidedly alarmed about her. 

" Can she be going out of her mind ? ” he soliloquized. 
“ Women sometimes do before the birth of their children. 
What did she mean ? It is impossible for her to know any- 
thing. Pshaw ! What is there to know ? I verily believe I 
am cultivating that abomination of the age — nerves ! ” 

Whatever Valentine did mean, she met her father that 
evening as if nothing had happened. She was bright, even 
cheerful ; she played and sang for him. He concluded that 
she was not out of her mind, that she had simply had a fit 
of the dismals, and dismissed the matter. 

The month passed by, slowly for Valentine — very slowly, 
also, for her father. It passed into space, and there was 
no news of the Esperance. More days went by, no news, 
no tidings of any sort. Valentine thought the vessel was a 
fortnight overdue. Her father knew that it was at least 
a month behind its time. When ho wrote his letter to the 
rector of Jewsbury-on-the-Wold he felt even more anxious 
than his words seemed to admit. 


204 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


The daj after the receipt of this letter Lilias came to 
town and took Valentine home with her. The next morn- 
ing Mr. Paget went as usual to his office. His first inquiry 
was for news of the Esperance. The invariable answer 
awaited him. 

“ No tidings as yet.” 

He went into the snug inner room where he lunched, 
where Valentine’s picture hung, and where he had made 
terms with Gerald Wyndham. He sank down into an easy- 
chair, and covered his face with his hands. 

“ Would to God this suspense were at an end,” he said. 

The words had scarcely passed his lips when Helps 
knocked for admission at the inner door, he opened it, 
caught a glimpse of his servant’s face, and fell back. 

“You heard,” he said. “Come in and tell me quick. 
The Esperance is lost, and every soul on board 

“ Hush, sir,” said Helps. “ There’s no news of the 
Esperance. Command yourself, sir. It isn’t that — it’s the 
other thing. The young gentleman from India, he’s outside 
— he wants to see you.” 

“ Good God, Helps. Positively I’m faint. Shut the 
door for a moment ; he has come, then. You are sure ? ” 

‘‘ This is his card, sir. Mr. George Carmichael.” 

“ Give me a moment’s time, Helps. So he has come. 
It would have been all right but for this confounded 
uncertainty with regard to the Esperance. But it is all 
right, of course. Plans such as mine don’t fail, they are 
too carefully made. All the same, I am shaken, Helps. 
Helps, I am growing into an old man.” 

“You do look queer, Mr. Paget; have a little brandy, 
sir ; you’d better.” 

“ Thank you ; a little, then. Open that cupboard, you 
will find the flask. Brandy steadies the nerves. Now I 
am better. Helps, it was in this room I made terms with 
young Wyndham.” 

“ God forgive you, sir, it was.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


205 


“ Why do you say that? You did not disapprove at 
the time.” 

“ I didn’t know Mr. Wyndham, sir ; had I known, I 
wouldn’t have allowed breathing man to harm a hair of 
his head.” 

Ci How would you have prevented it ? ” 

“ How ? ” 

The old clerk’s face took an ugly look. 

“ Split on you, and gone to prison, of course,” he said. 
“ Now, shall I send Mr. George Carmichael in ? It was for 
his sake you did it. My God, what a sin you sinned ! I 
see Mr. Wyndham’s face every night of my life. Good 
God, why should men like him be hurled out of the world 
because of sinners like you and me ? ” 

t( He’s not hurled out of the world,” exclaimed Mr. 
Paget. 

He rose and swore a great oath. Then he said in a 
quieter voice : — 

“ Ask Mr. Carmichael to step into my office.” 

“ Into this room, sir? ” 

“ Into this room. Go, fool.” 

Certainly Mr. Paget had some admirable qualities. By 
the time a pale-faced, slight, languid-looking man made 
his appearance, he was perfectly calm and self-possessed. 
He spoke in a courteous tone to his visitor, and bade him 
be seated. 

They exchanged a few commonplaces. Then Mr. George 
Carmichael, who showed far more uneasiness than his host, 
explained the motive of his visit. 

“ You knew my father,” he said. “ Owing to a strange 
circumstance, which perhaps you are aware of, but which 
scarcely concerns the object of this call, certain papers of 
importance did not come into my hands until I was of 
age. These are the papers.” 

He placed two yellow documents on the table. 


206 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ I find by these that I am entitled to money which you 
hold in trust.” 

“You are,” said Mr. Paget, with a kindly smile. 

“ I am puzzled to know why I was never made aware of 
the fact. I was brought up as a poor man. I had no 
expectations. I have not been educated to meet the 
position which in reality awaited me. Somebody has done 
me a wrong.” 

“ I assure you not me, Mr. Carmichael. Perhaps, 
however, I can throw some light on the subject. If you 
will do me the favor of dining with me some evening we 
can talk the matter over at our leisure.” 

“ Thank you, I have very little leisure.” 

The stranger was wonderfully restless. 

“ After a struggle I have succeeded in obtaining a good 
post in Calcutta. I hurried over to see you. I must hurry 
back to my work. Oh, yes, thanks, I like India. The 
main point is, when can you hand me over my money. 
With interest it amounts to ” 

“ Including interest it amounts to eighty thousand 
pounds, Mr. Carmichael. Allow me to congratulate you, 
sir, as a man of fortune. There is no need to hurry back 
to that beggarly clerkship.” 

“ It’s no* a clerkship, Mr. Paget, nor beggarly. I’m a 
partner in a rising concern. The other man’s name is 
Parr ; he has a wife and children, and I wouldn’t desert 
him for the world. Eighty thousand pounds ! By Jove, 
won’t Parr open his eyes.” 

Mr. George Carmichael was now so excited that his 
shyness vanished. 

“ When can I have my money, sir ? ” 

“ In a month’s time.” 

“Not until then? I wanted to go back to India next 
week.” 

“It can be sent after you.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


207 


A slow suspicious smile crept round the young man’s 
lips ; he looked more well-bred than he was. 

“ None of that,” he said. “ I 'don’t stir until I get the 
cheque. I say, can’t you give it me at once ? It’s mine.” 

“ Not a day sooner than a month. I must take that 
time to realize so large a sum. You shall have it this day 
month.” 

“ Beastly '■ inconvenient. Parr will be in no end of a 
taking. I suppose there’s no help for it, however.” 

“ None.” 

“This is the 17th of June. Now you’re not playing me 
a trick, are you ? You’ll pay me over that money all 
square on the 17th of July.” 

Mr. Paget had an imposing presence. He rose now, 
slowly, stood on the hearthrug, under his daughter’s picture, 
and looked down at his guest. 

“ I am sorry for you,” he said. “ Your education has 
certainly been imperfect. Your father was a gentleman, 
and my friend. You, I regret to say, are not a gentleman. 
I don’t repeat my invitation to dine at my house. With 
regard to the money it shall be in your hands on the 17th 
July. I am rather pressed for time this morning, Mr. 
Carmichael, and must ask you to leave me. Stay, however, 
a moment. You are, of course, prepared to give me all 
proofs of identity ? ” 

“ What do you mean, sir? ” 

“ What I say. The certificate of the marriage of your 
parents and certificate of the proof that you are the person 
you represent yourself to be must be forthcoming. I must 
also have letters from your friends in India. No doubt, 
of course — no doubt who you are. but these things are 
necessary.” 

Notwithstanding that he was the owner of eighty thou- 
sand pounds, Mr. George Carmichael left the august 
presence of the head of Paget Brothers feeling somewhat 
prestfallen. 


208 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


He had scarcely done so before Helps rushed in. 

“ A cable, sir ! Praise the Lord, a cable at last ! ” 

He thrust the sheet of paper into his employer’s hands. 
It came from Melbourne, and bore the date of the day 
before. 

tf F.sperance arrived safely. Delay caused by broken machinery. 
Accident of a painful nature on board. Full particulars by mail. 

“Jellyby.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


209 


CHAPTER XXXIV. 

Mr. Paget was most careful that the full contents of the 
cable did not go to his daughter at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. 
He read it three or four times, then he took up a telegraph 
form and wired to her as follows : — 

“ Esferance arrived safely. Delay caused by injury to machinery.” 

This telegram caused intense rejoicing at the rectory, 
and Mr. Paget had his gloomy part to himself. He conned 
that part over and over. 

A serious accident. To whom ? About whom ? What 
a fool that Jellyby was not to have given him more particu- 
lars. Why did that part of the cablegram fill him with 
consternation? Why should he feel so certain that the 
accident in question referred to his son-in-law ? Well, he 
must wait over a month for news, and during that month 
he must collect together eighty thousand pounds. Surely 
he had enough to think of. Why should his thoughts revert 
to Wyndham with an ever-increasing dread ? 

“ Wyndham is safe enough,” he said. “ Jolly enough, 
too, I make no doubt. His money waits for him at Balla- 
rat. Of course bad news will come, but /shall see through 
it. Oh, yes, I shall see through it fast enough.” 

Days of suspense are hard days — long and weary days. 
As these days crept one by one away Mr. Paget became 
by no means an easy person to live with. His temper 
grew morose, he was irritable, manifestly ill at ease, and 
he would often for hours scarcely utter a word. 

The 17th of July passed. Mr. Carmichael again called 
for his money. A part was paid to him, the balance the 

14 


210 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


head of the great shipping firm assured the young man 
could not possibly be forthcoming for another month or 
six weeks. 

“ I am sorry,” Mr. Paget said, “ extremely sorry not to 
be able to fulfil my word to the letter. But I must have 
time to realize such a large sum, and I greatly fear I must 
claim it.” 

Mr. Carmichael had a cheque in his hand for ten thou- 
sand pounds. He could scarcely feel discontented at such 
a moment, and took his departure grumbling but elated. 

“ Helps,” said Mr. Paget, “ I have taken that ten 
thousand pounds out of the business, and it can ill afford 
to lose it. If news does not come soon we are undone, and 
all our plotting and planning won’t save the old place 
nor the honor of the old house.” 

“ No fear,’’ muttered Helps. “The news will come. I 
have bad dreams at night. The house will be saved. Don’t 
you fret, Mr. Paget.” 

He went out of the room looking as morose and ugly as 
possible, and Mortimer Paget hurled no blessings after 
him. 

The next day was fraught with tidings. A thick packet 
lay on the chiefs desk, bearing the imprint of the Espe- 
rance on it. By the side of the packet was a telegram. 
He opened the telegram first : — 

“ Jewsbury-on-the-Wold, ioa.m. 

“ Valentine had a son this morning. Both doing well.” 

The tears absolutely sprang to Mr. Paget’s eyes. His 
hands trembled ; he looked round furtively ; there was no 
one by. Then he raised the telegram to his.lips and kissed 
it. Valentine had a son — he had a grandson. Another 
head of the old house had arisen on the horizon. 

He rang his electric bell ; he was so excited that he 
could not keep these tidings to himself. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


211 


“ I have sent for you to receive your congratulations, 
Helps,” he said ; “ and — and here’s a cheque for ten 
pounds. You must go home early and have a good supper 
— champagne and all that sort of thing. Not a word, Helps, 
my good fellow, you deserve it. You quite deserve it ! ” 

“May I ask what for, Mr. Paget? Forgive me, sir. I see 
that the packet from the Esperance lias come.” 

“ So it has. It can wait. Take your money, Helps, and 
drink my grandson’s health. He arrived this morning, 
bless him — my daughter had a son this morning.” 

“ Indeed, sir. It’s a pity the father isn’t there. It would 
have been pretty to have seen Mr. Wyndham as a father. 
Yes, sir. I’m glad your young lady is doing well. Babes 
come with trouble, and it seems to me they mostly go with 
trouble. All the same, we make a fuss of them — and the 
world’s too full as it is.” 

“ This child supplies a long felt need,” replied the baby’s 
grandfather, frowning. “ He is the future head of the 
house.” 

“ Poor innocent. Yes, sir, I congratulate you as in duty 
bound. You’ll soon read that packet, won’t you, sir. It 
seems a sort of a coincidence like, getting news of the 
father and the babe in one breath.” 

“ I’ll read the packet presently,” said Mr. Paget. “ Go 
away now, Helps ; don’t disturb me.” 

Left alone, the pleased man spread out the pink sheet 
of paper in such a position that his eye could constantly 
rest on it. Then he broke the seal of Captain Jellyby’s 
yarn, and began to read. 


212 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE , 


CHAPTER XXXV. 

“ Esperance, April io. 

“ My Dear Sir, — 

l( I begin a letter to you under peculiarly afflicting circumstances. 
Your son-in-law, the favorite of every one on board, one of the nicest 
young gentlemen I have had the luck to meet, fell overboard last night, 
between nine and ten o’clock, when a very heavy sea was running. He 
was standing at the wheel, talking to a sailor of the name of Loggan. 
Loggan said he was very cheerful and keen to watch the storm. He 
was helping to tighten up a bit of rope when the boat gave a lurch. 
Loggan shouted to him to take care, but he was taken off his feet, and 
the next moment was in the water. We put out the boats and did all 
in our power, but in addition to the storm the night was very dark, and 
we never saw nor heard anything more of the unfortunate young gentle- 
man. The night was so rough he must have gone to the bottom almost 
directly. I cannot express to you, sir, v T hat a gloom this has cast upon 
all on board. As I said already, your son-in-law was beloved by pas- 
sengers and sailors alike. His death was due to the most ordinary 
accident. 

“Well, sir, regrets are useless, but if regrets would bring Mr. Wynd- 
ham back, he would be safe and well now ; he was one of the most 
taking young men I ever came across, and also one of the best. Please 
give my respectful condolences to his poor young wid ow ” 

Here there was a break in the narrative. It was taken 
up some days later. 

“ I had scarcely written the last when an awful thing happened. 
There was a fearful crash on board, and in short, sir, our funnel was 
blown down. I can scarcely go into particulars now, but for many 
days we lay at the mercy of the waves, and I never thought to see land 
any more. It speaks well for the worthiness of the Esperance that she 
weathered such a gale. But for many days and nights the destruction 
to your property, for the water poured in in all parts, and the miserable 
state of the passengers, baffles description. The ship was in such a con- 
dition that we could not use steam, and when the storm abated had to 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


213 


drtifas best we could. For our main masts were also broken, and we 
could put on scarcely any sail. Our provisions were also becoming 
short. 

“ A week ago, by the mercy of God, we came within hail of the 
steamer Salamanca , which towed us into port, and the Esperance has 
been put into dock at Melbourne for repairs. 

“ Under these appalling circumstances, Mr. Wyndham’s loss has 
not been forgotten, but to a certain extent cast on one side. Perhaps I 
ought to say here, sir, that when your son-in-law commenced his voy- 
age to Sydney under my auspices, he appeared to be in such a state of 
agitation, and in such distress of mind, that I feared for his brain, and 
wondered if you had sent him on this voyage by a doctor’s orders. He 
made also a request to me which seemed to confirm this view. He 
begged me not to let out to anyone on board the smallest particulars (I 
really did not know any) of his history. In especial he did not wish 
his wife spoken of. He looked strange when he made these requests, 
and even now I can see the despair in his eyes when I refused — you will 
remember, sir, by your express desire — to touch at Plymouth. I may 
as well say frankly, that had Mr. Wyndham continued as depressed as 
he was the first few days of the voyage, I should have scarcely con- 
sidered his untimely end altogether due to accident. But I am happy 
to be able to reassure your mind on that point. That he felt the sepa- 
ration from his wife terribly at first there is no doubt, but there is also 
no doubt that he got over this feeling, that he was healthily happy, and 
altogether the brightest fellow on board. In short, sir, he was the life 
of the ship ; even now we are never done lamenting him. Untimely 
a% his fate was, no one could have been more ready to rush suddenly 
into the presence of his Maker. I enclose with this a formal certificate 
of Mr. Wyndham’s death, with the latitude and longitude of the exact 
spot where he must have gone down accurately described. This certifi- 
cate is duly attested by the Consul here, and I delayed one day in 
writing to you in order that it should go. 

“ I remain, sir, 

“ Yours respectfully, 

“ Harry Tellyby.” 

“ P.S. — I forgot to mention that two of our boats have been absolutely 
lost ; but I will send you a full list of casualties by next mail.” 

Helps had never felt more restless than he did that 
morning ; he could not attend to his ordinary avocations. 


214 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


Truth to tell, Helps’ position in the house of Paget Brothers 
had always been more or less a dubious one. It was patent 
to all that he was confided in to a remarkable degree by 
the head of the house. It was also observed that he had 
no special or defined post. In short that he did a little 
of everybody’s work, and seemed to have nothing abso- 
lutely depending on himself. 

All the same, when Helps- was away the whole establish- 
ment felt a loss. If the old clerk was useful for no other 
purpose, he was at least valuable as a scape-goat. He could 
bear blame which belonged to others. It was convenient 
to make excuses, and to shift uncomfortable omissions of 
all sorts from one’s own shoulders. 

“ Oh, I thought Helps would have seen to that.” 

Helps saw to a great deal, and was perfectly indifferent 
to these inuendoes. Of one thing he was certain, that they 
would never reach the chiefs ears. 

On this particular morning Helps would assist no one ; 
he had ten pounds in his pocket, and he knew that the 
futur owner of the great business lay in his cradle at Jews- 
bury-on-the-Wold. Little cared he for that. 

“ Whatnews of Mr. Wyndham ? ” This was his thought of 
thoughts. “ What secret lies hidden within that sealed 
packet ? What is my master doing now ? When will he 
ring for me ? How soon shall I know the best and the 
worst? Oh, God, why did I let that young man go? Why 
didn’t I split? What’s prison, after all ? My God. what 
is prison compared to a heart on fire ! ” 

Helps pottered about. He was a very wizened grey 
little fellow. The clerks found him decidedly in the way. 
They muttered to one another about him, and Mr. Man- 
ners, one of the juniors, requested him in a very cutting 
voice to shut the door and go away. 

Helps obeyed the command to the very letter. By this 
time his state of mind might have been described as on the 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


tack. For two hours Mr. Paget had been reading that 
letter. Impossible ; no letter would take that time to read. 
Why had he not rung ? Surely he must know what Helps 
was enduring. Surely at this crisis of his fate — at this 
crisis of both their fates — he must want to see his faithful 
servant. Why then did he not ring ? 

At last in despair Helps knocked at the door of the outer 
office. There was no answer. He turned the handle, 
pushed the door ajar and went in. The room was empty. 
Mr. Paget’s pile of ordinary business letters lay unopened 
on his desk. Helps went up to the door of the inner room, 
and pressed his ear against the keyhole. There was not a 
stir within. He knocked against a chair, and threw down 
a book on purpose. If anything living would bring Mr. 
Paget out it was the idea of anyone entering, or disar- 
ranging matters in his office. Helps disarranged matters 
wildly ; he threw down several books, he upset more than 
one chair ; still the master did not appear. At last he 
knocked at the door of the inner room. There was no 
response. Then he knocked again, louder. Then he ham- 
mered with his fists. Then he shook the door. No re- 
sponse. The inner room might as well have been a grave. 
He rushed away at last for tools to break open the door. 
He was terribly frightened, but even now he had sufficient 
presence of mind not to bring a third person to share his 
master’s secret. He came back with a pick-lock, a ham- 
mer and one or two other implements. He locked the door 
of the outer office, and then he set boldly to work. He 
did not care what din he made ; he was past all thought 
of that now. The clerks outside got into a frantic state of 
excitement ; but that fact, had he known it, would have 
made no difference to Helps. 

At last his efforts were crowned with success. The 
heavy door yielded, and flew open with a bang. Helps 
fell forward into the room himself. He jumped up hastily. 


21 6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


A quiet, orderly, snug room ! The picture of a fair and 
lovely girl looking down from the wall ! a man with grey 
hair stretched on the hearthrug under the picture ! a man 
with no life, nor motion, nor movement. Helps flew to his 
master. Was he dead ? No, the eyes were wide open ; 
they looked at Helps, and one of the hands was stretched 
out, and clutched at Helps’ arm, and pulled it wildly 
aside. 

“ What is it, my dear master ? ” said the man, for there 
was that in the face which would have melted any heart to 
pity. 

*• Don’t ! Stand out of my light,” said Mr. Paget. “ Hold 
me — steady me — let me get up. He’s there — there by the 
window ! ” 

“ Who, my dear sir ? Who ? ” 

u The man I’ve murdered ! He’s there. Between me 
and the light. It’s done. He’s standing between me and 
the light. Tell him to move away. I have murdered him ! 
I know that. Between me and the light — the light ! Tell 
him to move away — tell him — tell him ! ” 

Mortimer Paget gave a great shriek, and covered his 
terrified eyes with his trembling hands 1 


A LIFE FOR A LOFE. 


217 


CHAPTER XXXVI. 

“What is the matter, Lilias? I did not do anything 
wrong.” 

The speaker was Augusta Wyndham. 

Three years have passed away since she last appeared 
in this story ; she is grown up now, somewhat lanky still, 
with rather fierce dark eyes, and a somewhat thin pro- 
nounced face. She is the kind of girl who at eighteen is 
still all angles, but there are possibilities for her, and at 
five and twenty, if time deals kindly with her, and circum- 
stances are not too disastrous, she might be rounded, soft- 
ened, she might have developed into a handsome woman. 

“ What is it, Lilias ? ” she said now. “ Why do you 
look at me like that ? ” 

“ It is the same old story, Gussie,” replied Lilias, whose 
brown cheeks were paler, and her sweet eyes larger than of 
old ; “ you are always wanting in thought. It was thought- 
less of you to make Valentine walk home, and with little 
Gerry, too. She will come in fagged and have a headache. 
I relied on your seeing to her, Gussie ; when I asked you 
to take the pony chaise I thought of her more than you, 
and now you’ve come back in it all alone, without even 
fetching baby.” 

“ Well, Lilias.” Augusta paused, drew herself up, leant 
against the nearest paling, crossed her legs, and in a pro- 
vokingly petulant voice began to speak. 

“ With how much more of all that is careless and all that 
is odious are you going to charge me? ” she said. “ Oh, 
of course, ‘ Gussie never can think.’ Now I’ll tell you what 
this objectionable young woman Augusta did, and then you 


218 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


can judge for yourself. I drove to Netley Farm, and got 
the butter and the eggs, and then I went on to see old 
James Holt, the gardener, for I thought he might have 
those bulbs we wanted ready. Then I drew up at the turn- 
stile, and waited for that precious Mrs. Yal of yours.” 

“ Don’t/’ said Lilias. “ Remember whose ” 

“ As if I ever forget — but he — he had others beside her 
— he never had any Augusta except me,” two great tears 
gathered in the great brown eyes ; they were dashed hastily 
aside, and the speaker went on. 

“ There’s twice too much made of her, and that’s a fact. 
You live for her, you’re her slave, Lilias. It’s perfectly 
ridiculous — it’s absurd. You have sunk your whole life 
into hers, and since Marjory’s wedding things have been 
worse. You simply have no life but in her. He wouldn’t 
wish it ; he hated anyone to be unselfish except himself. 
Well, then — oh, then, I won’t vex the dear old thing. Have 
you forgiven me, Lil ? I know I’m such a chatter-pate. I 
hope you have forgiven me.” 

“ Of course I have, Gussie. I’m not angry with you, 
there’s nothing to be angry about. You are a faulty 
creature, I admit, but I also declare you to be one of the 
greatest comforts of my life.” 

“ Well, that’s all right — that’s as it should be. Now for 
my narrative. I waited by the turnpike. Valentine and 
baby were to meet me there. No sign of them. I waited 
a long time. Then I tied Bob to the gate, and started on 
discovery bent. You know it is a pretty lane beyond the 
turnpike, the hedges hid me. I walked along, whistling and 
shaking my whip. Presently I was assailed by the tuneful 
duet of two voices. I climbed the hedge and peeped over. 
I looked into a field. What did I see? Now, Lilias the 
wise, guess what I saw ? ” 

“ Valentine and our little Gerald,” responded Lilias. 
“ She was talking to him ; she has a sweet voice, and surely 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 2ig 

there never was a dearer little pipe than wee Gerry’s. They 
must have looked pretty sitting on the grass.” 

‘ They looked very pretty — but your picture is not auite 
correct. For instance, baby was sound asleep.” 

“ Oh, then, she had him in her arms, and was cooing to 
him. A lovelier scene than ever, Augusta.” 

“ A very lovely scene, Lilias ; only, one woman’s voice 
would not make a duet.” 

Something in Augusta’s eyes caused Lilias to droop her 
own. She turned aside to pick a spray of briony. 

“Tell me what you saw,” she said abruptly. 

“ I saw Valentine and Adrian Carr. They were sitting 
close together, and baby was asleep on his breast, not on 
hers, and he was comforting her, for when I peeped over I 
saw him touch her hand, and then I saw her raise her hand- 
kerchief and wipe away some tears. Crocodile’s tears, I 
call them. Now, Lilias, out of my way. I mean to vault 
over this gate.” 

“ What for, dear ? ” 

“ To relieve my feelings. Now I’m better. Won’t you 
have a try ? ” 

“ No, thank you, I don’t vault gates.” 

“ Aren’t you going to show anything ? Good gracious, I 
should simply explode if I had to keep in things the way 
you do. Now, what’s the matter? You look white all the 
same ; whiter than you did ten minutes ago. Oh, if it was 
me, I couldn’t keep still. I should roar like a wounded 
lion.” 

“ But I am not a wounded lion, Augusta, dear.” 

Lilias laid her hand on her sister’s shoulder. 

“ I am older than you,” she continued, “ and perhaps 
quieter. Life has made me quieter. We won’t say any- 
thing about what you saw, Augusta. Perhaps none of us 
have such a burden to bear as Valentine.” 

“ Now, Lilias, what stuff you talk. Oh, she’s a humbug, 
and I hate her. There, I will say it, just for once. She 


220 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


took Gerald away, and now she wants to take Adrian from 
you. Oh, I know you’re an angel — you’d bear anything, 
but I’m not quite a fool.” 

“ They are coming ; you must hush,” said Lilias, putting 
her hand across her young sister’s lips. 

Augusta cast two wrathful eyes behind her, lightly 
vaulted back over the gate, and vanished from view round 
the first corner. Lilias opened the gate and went slowly to 
meet the group who were coming down the dusty country 
road. 

Valentine was in black, but not in widow’s weeds. She 
had a shady hat over her clustering bright hair, and round 
this hat, the baby, little Gerry, had stuck quantities of 
leaves and grasses and what wild flowers his baby fingers 
could clutch. With one hand she was holding up her long 
dress ; her other held a basket of primroses, and her face, 
bright now with color in the cheeks, laughter on the lips, 
and the fire of affection in the eyes, was raised to where her 
sturdy little son sat on Carr’s broad shoulder. 

The child was a handsome little fellow, cast in a far more 
masculine mould than his father, to whom he bore scarcely 
any resemblance. 

As Lilias, in her dark grey dress, approached, she 
looked altogether a more sorrowful and grief-touched figure 
than the graceful, almost childish young widow who came 
to meet her. 

So Carr thought, as with a softened light in his eyes he 
glanced at Lilias. 

“ A certain part of her heart was broken three years 
ago,” he inwardly commented. “ Can I — is it in my 
power — will it ever be in my power to comfort her ? ” 

But Lilias, knowing nothing of these feelings, only noted 
the happy-looking picture. 

“ Here we are ! ” said Carr, catching the boy from his 
shoulder and letting him jump to the ground. “ Run to 
your auntie now, little man.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


221 


Off waddled the small fat legs. Lilias stooped and 
received the somewhat dusty embrace of two rounded arms, 
while cherub lips were pressed on hers. 

“ You do comfort me, little Gerry,” she gasped under 
her breath. 

Then she rose, almost staggering under his weight. 

“ Let me carry him for you,” said Carr, coming up to 
her. 

“ No, thank you, I like to have him,” she said ; and she 
turned and walked by Valentine’s side. 

“ Are you tired, Val ? I did not mean you to walk home. 
I sent Augusta with Bob and the basket chaise. I thought 
you knew they were to meet you at the turnpike.” 

“ I’m afraid I forgot,” answered Valentine. “I met Mr. 
Carr, and we came to a delicious field, full of primroses, and 
baby wanted to pick lots, didn’t you, treasure ? We sat and 
had a rest ; I am not very tired, and Mr. Carr carried this 
big boy all the way home. Hey -ho,” she continued, throw- 
ing off her hat, and showing a head as full of clustering 
richly-colored hair as of old, 4< what a lovely day it is, it 
makes me feel young. Come along, baby, we’ll race toge- 
ther to the house. It’s time for you to go to sleep, little 
master. Now, then — baby first, mother after — one, two, 
three and away ! ” 

The child shouted with glee, the mother raced after him, 
they disappeared through the rose-covered porch of the 
old rectory. Lilias raised two eyes full of pain to Carr’s. 

“Is she beginning to forget?” she asked. 

“ No ; why should you say so ? She will never forget.” 

“She looked so young just now — so like a child. Poor 
Val ! She was only twenty-two her last birthday. Mr. Carr, 
I don’t want her to forget.” 

“ In one sense rest assured she never will — in another — 
would you wish her to endure a lifelong pain ? ” 

“ I would — I would. It was done for her — she must 
never forget.” 




222 A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 

“ You always allow me to say plain words, don’t you ? ” 
said Carr. “ May I say some now ? ” 

“Say anything you please, only don’t teach her to 
forget.” 

“ What do you mean ? ” 

The man’s eyes blazed. Lilias colored all over her 
face. 

“ I mean nothing,” she said hurriedly. “ Come into the 
flower-garden. We shall have a great show of roses this 
year. Come and look at the buds. You were going to say 
something to me,” she added presently. 

“ Yes. I was going to prepare you for what may come 
by-and-bye. It is possible that in the future — remember, 
I don’t know anything — but it is possible that in the future 
your young sister-in-law may once more be happy. I don’t 
know how — I am not going to prognosticate anything, but 
I think as a rule one may safely infer that the very bitterest 
grief, the most poignant sorrows which come before twenty 
are not abiding. Mrs. Wyndham has her child. It would 
not do for the child to associate only sorrow with the 
mother’s face. Some time in the future she will be happy 
again. It is my opinion that your brother would be glad 
of this.” 

“ Hush ; you don’t know. My brother — my only bro- 
ther ! I at least can never be the Lilias of old.” 

“ I believe you,” said Carr much moved by her tone. 
“ You, too, are very young ; but in your heart, Miss Wynd- 
ham, in your heart you were an older woman, a woman 
more acquainted with the grave side of life, than that poor 
young thing was when the blow fell.” 

Lilias did not answer for a moment or two. 

il I am glad Marjory is out of it all,” she said then. 
u You know what a long nervous illness she had at the time. 
Dear old Marjory, she was such a tempestuous darling.” 

“ But she is happy now.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


223 


“ Oh, yes, she has her husband. Philip is very good, 
he suits Marjory. Yes, she is quite happy now, and I am 
not miserable — you mustn’t think it. I know in whom I 
have believed.” 

Her eyes were raised to the sky overhead. 

I know He won’t fail me. Some day Gerald and I 
shall meet.” 

“ Some day, assuredly,” answered Carr. 

“ And in the meantime, I am not unhappy, only I don’t 
intend ever to forget. Nor shall she.” 

“ One question,” said Carr. “ Have you heard news 
lately of Mrs. Wyndham’s father ? ” 

“ I believe he has recovered. He never comes here. I 
must own I have a great antipathy to Valentine’s father. I 
don’t want to hear of him nor to think of him.” 

“ I can understand that. Still, if it will not trouble you 
greatly I should like to ask you a question or two with 
regard to him. He was very ill, at the — at the time, wasn’t 
he?” 

“ He was very ill, mentally, he was quite off his head 
for several months.” 

“ Don’t you think that was rather strange ? ” 

“ I never thought much about it, as far as he was con- 
cerned. Of course he must have had a dreadful shock.” 

“ But not such a shock as you had. Not a shock to be 
named with what that poor girl, his daughter, went through. 
Your brother was not his own son, and — and ’ 

“ I never thought about it, Mr. Carr. I heard that he 
was ill, and that the illness was mental. He has been quite 
well again for some time.” 

“ I assure you you’re mistaken. I met him a fortnight 
ago in town. I never saw a man so completely altered in 
the whole course of my life.” 

“ Please don’t tell me about him. It never was, nor 
could be, an interesting subject. Ah, there is my dear 
father calling me. I must run to him.” 


224 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


The rector was seen approaching. His figure was 
slightly more bent, and his hair whiter than of old. Lilias 
linked her hand within his arm, and Carr turned away. 

“ I can never have it out with her,” he said to himself. 
“ I never seem to have the courage when I’m with her. 
And besides, I don’t believe she’d leave her father. But 
if she did — if I ever could hope to win her for my wife, 
then I might venture to whisper to her some of my suspi- 
cions. How little she guesses what my thoughts are. 
Can I act in any way without consulting her ? I have a 
good mind to try.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


225 


CHAPTER XXXVII. 

The house of Paget Brothers was never more flourishing 
than during the spring and summer of 18 — . It was three 
years since the death of its junior partner, Gerald Wynd- 
ham, and three years since Mortimer Paget had paid away 
in full the trust money of eighty thousand pounds which 
he owed to George Carmichael, of the firm of Carmichael, 
Parr and Co., Calcutta. Although none of the parties 
concerned quite intended it, certain portions of the story 
of this trust got abroad, and became the subject of a nine 
days’ gossip in the City and elsewhere. It had never even 
been whispered that Paget Brothers were in difficulties. 
Still such a sum would not be easy to find even in the 
wealthiest concern. Then the fact also trickled out that 
Wyndham’s life had been insured, heavily insured, in three 
or four different offices. His death must have come in 
handily, people said, and they said no more — just then. 

The fact was, that had one been even inclined to suspect 
foul play, Mr. Paget’s dangerous illness at the time would 
have prevented their doing so. Surely no man ever before 
grieved so bitterly for a dead son-in-law as did this man. 
The blow had felled him with a stroke. For many months 
his mind gave way utterly. The words spoken in delirium 
are seldom considered valuable. What Mr. Paget did or 
said during the dark summer which followed Wyndham’s 
death never got known. In the autumn he was better ; 
that winter he went abroad, and the following spring he 
once more was seen in the City. 

He looked very old, people said, but he was as shrewd 
and careful a business man as ever. 

15 


226 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ I have to put things in order for my grandson,” he 
would say. 

Nobody ever saw him smile just then, but a light used 
to come into his sunken dark eyes when the child’s name 
was mentioned. 

Valentine and the boy spent most of their time in the 
old house in Park Lane. She was very gentle with her 
father, but the relations they had once borne to each other 
were completely altered. He now rather shrank from her 
society. She had to seek him, not he her. He was mani- 
festly ill at ease when in her presence. It was almost 
impossible to get him to come to see her in her own house. 
When he did so he was attacked by a curious nervousness. 
He could seldom sit still; he often started and looked 
behind him. Once or twice he perceptibly changed color, 
and on all occasions he gave a sigh of relief when he said 
good-bye. 

The child visited his grandfather oftener than the mother 
did. With the child Mortimer Paget was absolutely at 
home and happy. 

The third summer after Wyndham’s death passed away. 
Valentine spent most of the time at Jewsbury-on-the-Wold. 
Mr. Paget went abroad, as he always did, during August 
and September. In October he was once more in town. 
Valentine came back to London, and their small world 
settled down for its usual winter routine. 

On all sides there were talks of this special winter prov- 
ing a hard one, the cold commenced early and lasted long. 
In all the poorer quarters of the great city there were 
signs of distress. Want is a haggard dame. Once known 
her face is dreaded. As the days grew short, the darkness 
deepened, and the fogs became frequent, she was often 
seen stalking about the streets. Poorly clad children, 
shivering women, despairing defiant-looking men all trem- 
bled and fled before her. The cold was intense, work 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


227 


became slack, and then, to increase all other evils, the 
great cruel monster, Strike, put down his iron heel. Want 
is his invariable handmaid. Between them they did much 
havoc. 

It was on a certain short November day of this special 
winter that Mortimer Paget arrived early at his office. 
He drove there in his comfortable brougham, and stepped 
out into the winter cold and fog, wrapped up in his rich 
furs. As he did so a woman with two small children came 
hastily up, cast a furtive glance to right and left, saw no 
policeman near, and begged in a high piteous whining 
voice for alms. 

Mr. Paget had never been known to give alms indiscri- 
minately. He was not an uncharitable man, but he hated 
beggars. He took not the least notice of the woman, 
although she pushed one of the hungry children forward 
who raised two piteous blue eyes to the hard man’s face. 

“ Even a couple of pence ! ” she implored. “ The 
father’s on strike, and they’ve had nothing to eat since 
yesterday morning.” 

“ I don’t give indiscriminate charity,” said Mr. Paget. 
“ If your case is genuine, you had better apply at the 
nearest office of the Charity Organization.” 

He was pushing open the outer office door when some- 
thing arrested his attention. 

A man came hurriedly up from a side street, touched the 
woman on the shoulder, lifted one of the hungry children 
into his arms, and the whole party hurried away. The 
man was painfully thin, very shabbily dressed, in a long 
frock coat which was buttoned tight. He had a beard and 
moustache, and a soft slouch hat was pushed well forward 
over his eyes. 

The woman’s face lit up when she saw him. Both the 
children smiled, and the whole group moved rapidly away. 

The effect of this shabby man’s presence on those three 
helpless and starving creatures was as if the sun had come 


228 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


out. Mr. Paget staggered to his office, walked through 
the outer rooms as if he were dazed, sought his sanctum, 
and sat down shaking in every limb. 

Since his strange illness of three years ago, Helps had 
been more like a servant and nurse to him than an ordin- 
ary clerk. It was his custom to attend his master on his 
first arrival, to see to his creature comforts, to watch his 
moods. 

Helps came in as usual this morning. Mr. Paget had 
removed his hat, and was gazing in a dull vacant way 
straight before him. 

“ You are not yourself this morning, sir,” said the clerk. 

He pushed a footstool under the old man’s feet, removed 
the fur-lined overcoat and took it away. Then standing 
in front of him he again said : — 

“ Sir, you are not yourself to-day.” 

“The old thing, Helps,” said Mr. Paget. He shook 
himself free of some kind of trance with an effort. “ The 
doctors said I should be quite well again, as well as ever. 
They are mistaken, I shall never be quite well. I saw him 
in the street just now, Helps.” 

“ Indeed, sir ? ” 

It was Helps’ role as much as possible to humor his 
patient. 

“Yes, I saw him just now — he takes many guises ; he 
was in a new one to-day — a starved clerk out of employ- 
ment. That was his guise to-day. I should not have re- 
cognized him but for his hand. Perhaps you remember 
Wyndham’s hand, Helps ? Very slender, long and tapered 
— the hand of a musician. He took a ragged child in his 
arms, and his hand — there was nothing weak about it — 
clasped another child who was also starved and hungry. 
Undoubtedly it was Wyndham — Wyndham in a new guise 
— he will never leave me alone.” 

“ If I were you, Mr. Paget,” said Helps after a pause, 
“ I’d open the letters that are waiting for replies. You 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 229 

know what the doctor said, that when the fancy came you 
mustn’t dwell on it. You must be sure and certain not to 
let it take a hold on you, sir. Now you know, just as well as 
I do, that you didn’t see poor Mr. Wyndham — may Heaven 
preserve his soul ! Is it likely now, sir, that a spirit like 
Mr. Wyndham’s, happy above the sky with the angels, 
would come down on earth to trouble and haunt you ? Is 
it likely now, sir ? If I were you I’d cast the fancy from 
me ! ” 

Mr. Paget raised his hand to sweep back the white hair 
from his hollow, lined face. 

“You believe in heaven then, Helps ? ” 

“ I do for some folks, sir. I believe in it for Mr. Gerald 
Wyndham.” 

“ Fudge ; you thought too well of the fellow. Do you 
believe in heaven for suicides ? ” 

“ Sir — no, sir — his death came by accident.” 

“ It did not ; he couldn’t go through with the sacrifice, 
so he ended his life, and he haunts me, curse him ! ” 

“ Mr. Paget, I hope God will forgive you.” 

“ He won’t, so you needn’t waste your hopes. A man 
has cast his blood upon my soul. Nothing can wash the 
blood away. Helps, I’m the most miserable being on earth. 
I walk through hell fire every day.” 

“ Have your quieting mixture, sir ; you know the doc- 
tor said you must not excite yourself. There, now you 
are better. Shall I help you to open your letters, sir? ” 

“ Yes, Helps, do ; you’re a good soul, Helps. Don’t 
leave me this morning ; he’ll come in at the door if you 
do.” 

There came a tap at the outer office. Some one wanted 
to speak to the chief. A great name was announced. 

In a moment Mr. Paget, from being the limp, abject 
wretch whom Helps had daily to comfort and sustain, be- 
came erect and rigid. From head to foot he clothed him- 


2 3 0 


A LIFE EOF A LOVE. 


self as in a mask. Erect as in his younger days he walked 
into the outer room, and for two hours discussed a matter 
which involved the loss or gain of thousands. 

When his visitor left him he did so with the inward re- 
mark : — 

“ Certainly Paget’s intellect and nerve may be considered 
colossal.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


23 i 


CHAPTER XXXVIII. 

Esther Helps still took charge of her father’s house in 
Acacia Villas. She was still Esther Helps. Perhaps a 
more beautiful Esther than of old ; a little steadier, too, 
a little graver — altogether a better girl. 

For some unaccountable reason, after that night at the 
theatre when Wyndham had sat by her side and taken her 
back from destruction to her father’s arms, she had almost 
ceased to flirt. She said nothing now about marrying a 
gentleman some day, and as the men who were not gentle- 
men found she would have nothing to do with them, it 
began to be an almost understood thing among her friends 
that Esther, lovely as she was, would not marry. This 
resolve on her part, for it amounted to an unspoken 
resolve, was followed by other changes. She turned her 
attention to her hitherto sadly neglected mind. She read 
poetry with Cherry, and history and literature generally by 
herself. Then she tried to improve her mode of speech, 
and studied works on etiquette, and for a short time be- 
came frightfully stilted and artificial. This phase, how- 
ever, did not last long. The girl had really a warm and 
affectionate heart, and that heart all of a sudden had been 
set on fire. The flame never went out. It was a holy 
flame, and it raised and purified her whole nature. 

She loved Wyndham as she might have loved Christ 
had He been on earth. Wyndham seemed to her to be the 
embodiment of all nobility. He had saved her, none knew 
better than she did from how much. It was the least she 
could do to make her whole life worthy of her savior. She 
guessed by instinct that he liked refinement, and gentle 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


232 

speech, and womanly ways. So it became her aim in life 
to seek after those things, and as far as possible .to acquire 
them. 

Then the news of his death reached her. Only Cherry 
knew how night after night Esther cried herself to 
sleep. Only Cherry guessed why Esther’s cheeks were so 
sunken and her eyes so heavy. Her violent grief, how- 
ever, soon found consolation. Gerald had always been 
only a star to be gazed at from a distance ; he was still 
that. When she thought of heaven she pictured seeing 
him there first of all. She thought that when the time 
came for her to go there he might stand somewhere near 
the gates and smile to see how she, too, had conquered, 
and was worthy. 

Now she turned her attention to works of charity, to a 
life of religion. It was all done for the sake of an idol, but 
the result had turned this flippant, worldly, vain creature 
into a sweet woman, strong in the singleness of her aim. 

Esther cared nothing at all about dress now. She would 
have joined a Deaconess’ Institution but she did not care 
to leave her father. She did a great deal of work, how- 
ever, amongst the poor, and at the beginning of this severe 
winter she joined a band of working sisters in East Lon- 
don as an associate. She usually went away to her work 
immediately after breakfast, returning often not until late 
at night, but as she wore the uniform of the association, 
beautiful as she was she could venture into the lowest 
quarters, and almost come home at any hour without ren- 
dering herself liable to insult. 

One night as Cherry was preparing supper she was sur- 
prised to hear Esther’s step in the passage two or three 
hours before her usual time of returning. Cherry was 
still the same strange mixture of poet and cook that she 
had ever been. With the “ Lays of Ancient Rome ” in 
one hand and her frying-pan held aloft in the other, she 
rushed out to know what was the matter. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


233 


“ Why, Essie,” she exclaimed, catching sight of her cou- 
sin’s face. “You’re ill, Essie; come in and sit down by 
the fire. I do hope to goodness you haven’t gone and 
caught nothing.” 

“ I have caught nothing,” said Esther. “ I am not ill.” 

She untied her bonnet strings and loosened her long 
straight cloak. 

“Is father in, Cherry? I want to see him the minute 
he returns.” 

“You’ll have to wait then,” said Cherry, turning away 
in a half offended manner. If Esther did not choose to 
confide in her she was not going to force confidence. 

She resumed her cooking with vigor, reading aloud por- 
tions from the volume on her knees as she did so. 

t( The Lady Jane was tall and slim ; 

The Lady Jane was fair ” 

“ Essie, I wish you wouldn’t fidget so. Whatever is the 
matter? ” 

“ I want my father,” repeated Esther. 

“ Well, he’s not in. Uncle’s never back till an hour after 
this. I tell him he’s more and more of a nurse and less 
and less of a clerk every day of his life ; he don’t like it, 
but it’s true. That old Mr. Paget is past bearing.” 

Esther rose with a sigh, folded her cloak, laid it on a 
chair, placed her bonnet on top of it, and going over to the 
fireplace gazed into the flames. 

Cherry’s cooking frizzled and bubbled in the pan, Cher- 
ry’s own head was bent over her book. 

“This is the rarest fun,” she exclaimed suddenly. 
“ Didn’t Lady Jane pay Sir Thomas out ? Lord, it were 
prime. You never will read the ‘ Ingoldsby Legends,’ 
Esther. Now I call them about the best things going. 
How white you do look. Well, it’s a good thing you are 
in time for a bit of supper. I have fried eggs and tomatoes 


234 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


to-night, browned up a new way. Why don’t you take 
your cloak and bonnet upstairs, Essie, and sit down easy 
like? It fidgets one to see you shifting from one foot to 
another all the time.” 

“ I’m going out again in a minute,” said Esther. “ 1 
came in early because I wanted my father. Oh, there’s 
his latch-key in the door at last. Don’t you come, Cherry, 
I want to speak to him by myself.” 

Cherry’s hot face grew a little redder. 

“ I like that,” she said to herself. “ It’s drudge, drudge 
with me — drudge, drudge from, morning till night; and 
now she won’t even tell me her secrets. I never has no 
livening up. I liked her better when she was flighty 
and flirty, that I did — a deal better. We’ll, I’ll see what 
comes of that poor Sir Thomas.” 

Meanwhile Esther, with one hand on her father’s 
shoulder, was talking to him earnestly. 

“ I want you to come back with me, father — back this 
very minute.” 

“ Where to, child? ” 

“ To Commercial Road. There’s to be a big meeting of 
the unemployed, and the Sisters and I, we was to give sup- 
per to some of the women and children. The meeting 
will be in the room below, and the supper above. I want 
you to come. Some gentlemen are going to speak to them ; 
it won’t be riotous.” 

Helps drew a deep sigh. It was a damp drizzling night, 
and he was tired. 

“ Can’t you let me be this time, Essie? ” he said. 

“ No, father, no, you must come to-night.” 

“ But I can’t do nothing for the poor fellows. I pity 
them, of course, but what can I do ? ” 

“ Nothing, only come to the meeting.” 

“ But what for, Essie ? ” 

“ To please me, if for no other reason.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*35 


“ Oh, if you put it in that way.” 

“ Yes, I put it that way. You needn’t take off your great 
coat. I’ll have my cloak and bonnet on again in a jiffy.” 

“ What, child, am I to have no supper ? ” 

Poor Helps found the smell from the kitchen very appe- 
tising. 

4 4 Afterwards, when you come back. Everything good 
when you come back. Now, do come. It is so impor- 
tant.” 

She almost dragged him away. Cherry heard the house 
door bang after the two. 

“ Well, I’m done,” she exclaimed 1 t( See if I’ll cook for 
nobody another time.” 

Esther and her father found an omnibus at the corner 
of their street. In a little over half-an-hour they were in 
Commercial Road ; a few minutes later they found them- 
selves in the large barn-like building which was devoted 
to this particular mission. 

The ground floor consisted of one huge room, which was 
already packed with hungry-looking men and half-grown 
boys. 

“ Stand near the door,” said Esther, giving her father 
explicit directions. “ Don’t stay where the light will fall 
on your face. Stand where you can look but can’t be 
seen.” 

“ You don’t want me to be a spy, child. What is the 
meaning of all this ? ” 

“ You can put any meaning you like on it. Only do 
what I tell you. I want you to watch the men as they 
come in and out of the room. Watch them all ; don’t let 
one escape you. Stay until the meeting is over. Then 
tell me afterwards if there is any one here whom you 
know.” 

a What is the girl up to ? ” muttered Helps. 

But Esther had already slipped upstairs. He heard 
sounds overhead, and women and children going up the 


236 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE . 


stairs in groups ; he saw more than one bright-looking 
Sister rushing about, busy, eager, and hopeful. Then the 
sounds within the large lower room showed him that the 
meeting had begun, and he turned his attention to the 
task set him by his daughter. 

Certainly Esther was a queer girl, a dear, beautiful girl, 
but queer all the same. In what a ridiculous position she 
had placed him in ; a tired elderly clerk. He was hungry, 
and he wanted his supper ; he was weary, and he sighed 
for his pipe and his easy-chair. What had he in common 
with the men who filled this room. Some of them, undoubt- 
edly, were greatly to be pitied, but many of them only 
came for the sake of making a fuss and getting noticed. 
Anyhow, he could not help them, and what did Esther 
mean by getting him to stand in this draughty doorway on 
the chance of seeing an old acquaintance ; he was not so 
much interested in old acquaintances as she imagined. 

The room was now packed, and the gentleman who 
occupied the platform, a very earnest, energetic, thoughtful 
speaker, had evidently gained full attention. Helps almost 
forgot Esther in the interest with which he listened. One 
or two men offered to make way for him to go further into 
the room ; but this he declined. He did not suppose any 
friend of Esther’s would appear ; still he must be true to 
the girl, and keep the draughty post she had assigned him. 

At the close of the first address, just when a vociferous 
clapping was at its height, Helps observed a tall very thin 
man elbowing his way through the crowd. This crowd of 
working men and boys would not as a rule be prepared to 
show either forbearance or politeness. But the stranger 
with a word whispered here, or a nod directed there, 
seemed to find “ open sesame ” wherever he turned. Soon 
he had piloted his way through this great crowd of human 
beings almost to the platform. Finally he arrested his 
progress near a pillar against which he leaned with his 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


237 


arms folded. He was more poorly dressed than most of 
the men present, but he had one peculiarity which rendered 
him distinguishable ; he persistently kept his soft felt hat 
on, and well pushed forward over his eyes. 

Helps noticed him, he could scarcely himself tell why. 
The man was poor, thin. Helps could not get a glimpse 
of his face, but there was something in his bearing which 
was at once familiar and bespoke the gentleman. 

“ Poor chap, he has seen better days,” muttered Helps. 
“ Somehow, he don’t seem altogether strange, either.” 

Then he turned his attention once more to watch for the 
acquaintance whom Esther did not want him to miss. 

The meeting came to an end and the men began to 
stream out. Helps kept his post. Suddenly he felt a 
light hand touch his arm ; he turned ; his daughter, her 
eyes gleaming with the wildest excitement, was standing 
by his side. 

“ Have you seen him, father ? ” 

“ Who, child — who ? I’m precious hungry, and that’s 
the truth, Esther.” 

11 Never mind your hunger now — you have not let him 
escape — oh, don’t tell me that.” 

“ Essie, I think you have taken leave of your senses 
to-night. Who is it that I have not let escape ? ” 

“ A tall man in a frock coat, different from the others ; 
he has a beard, and he wears his hat well pushed forward ; 
his hands are white. You must have noticed him; he is 
certain to be here. You did not let him go ? ” 

“ I know now whom you mean,” said Helps. “ I saw the 
fellow. Yes, he is still in the room.” 

“ You did not recognize him, father ? ” 

“ No, child. That is, I seem to know something about 
him. Whatever are you driving at, Esther? ” 

“ Nothing— nothing — nothing. Go, follow the man 

with the frock coat. Don’t let him see you. Find out 


238 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


where he lives, then bring me word. Go. Go. You’ll 
miss him if you don’t.” 

She disappeared, flying upstairs again, light as a feather. 

Helps found himself impelled against his will to obey 
her. 

“ Here’s a pretty state of things,” he muttered. “ Here 
am I, faint for want of food, set to follow a chap nobody 
knows nothing about through the slums.” 

It never occurred to Helps, however, not to obey the 
earnest dictates of his daughter. 

He was to give chase. Accordingly he did so. He did 
so warily. Dodging sometimes into the road, sometimes 
behind a lamp post in case the tall man should see him. 
Soon he became interested in the work. The figure on 
in the front, which never by any chance looked back, but 
pursued its course undeviatingly, struck Helps once more 
with that strange sense of familiarity. 

Where had he seen a back like that ? Those steps, too, the 
very way the man walked gave him a queer sensation. He 
was as poor looking a chap as Helps had ever glanced at, 
and yet the steps were not unknown — the figure must have 
haunted the little clerk in some of his dreams. 

The pursuer and pursued soon found themselves in 
quarters altogether new to Helps. More and more squalid 
grew the streets, more and more ruffianly grew the people ? 
There never was a little man less likely to attract attention 
than this clerk with his humble unpretentious dress and 
mien. But in these streets he felt himself remarkable. A 
whole coat, unpatched trousers, were things to wonder at 
here. The men and the women, too, took to jostling him as 
he passed. One bold-faced girl tilted his hat well forward 
over his eyes, and ran away with a loud laugh. 

Helps felt that even for Esther’s sake he could not pro- 
ceed any further. He was about to turn back when an- 
other glance at the figure before him brought such a rush 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


239 


of dazed wonderment, of uncanny familiarity, that all 
thought of his own possible danger deserted him, and he 
walked on, eager as Esther herself now in pursuit. 

All this time they had been going in the direction of the 
docks. Suddenly they turned down a very badly lighted 
side street. There was a great brewery here, and the wall 
of the brewery formed for a long way one side of the street. 
It was so narrow as to be little better than a lane, and 
instead of being a crowded thoroughfare was now almost 
deserted. Here and there in the brewery wall were niches. 
Not one of these niches was empty. Each held its human 
being — man, woman, or child. It seemed to be with a 
purpose that the tall stranger came here. He slackened 
his pace, pushed his hat a little back, and began to perform 
certain small ministrations for the poor creatures who were 
to pass the night on the cold damp pavement. 

A little girl was asleep in one of the niches ; he wrapped 
her shawl more closely round her, tucking it in so as to 
protect her feet. Her hair hung in a tangled mass over her 
forehead. He pushed it back with a tender hand. Finally 
he pressed into the little thin palm two lollypops ; they 
would give comfort to the child when she awoke. 

Helps kept behind, well in the shadow ; he was abso- 
lutely trembling now with suppressed excitement. He had 
seen by the glitter of the flaring gas the white hand of the 
man as he pushed back the child’s elf-locks. The two went 
on again a few steps. The man in front stopped suddenly 
— they were passing another niche. It had its occupant. 
A girl was stretched prone on the ground — a girl whose 
only covering was rags. As they approached, she groaned. 
In an instant the stranger was bending over her. 

“ You are very ill, I fear. Can I help you ? ” 

“ Eh ? What’s that P ” exclaimed the girl. 

She raised her head, stretching out something which was 
more like a claw than a hand. 


240 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ What’s that noise?” she repeated. 

The noise had been made by Helps. It was an amazed 
terrified outcry when he heard the voice of the man who was 
bending over the girl. The man himself had observed 
nothing. 

“ You are very ill,” he repeated. “ You ought to be in 
a hospital.” 

“ No, no, none of that,” she said, clutching hold of his 
hand. “ I ha’ lain down to die. Let me die. I wor starv- 
ing — the pain wor awful. Now I’m easy. Don’t touch me 
—don’t lift me ; I’m easy — I’m a-goin’ to die.” 

The stranger knelt a little lower. 

“ I won’t hurt you,” he said. “ I will sit here by 
your side. Don’t be frightened. I am going to raise your 
head — a little — a very little. Now it rests on my knee. 
That is better.” 

“ Eh, you’re a good man ; yes, that’s nice.” 

Her breath came in great pants. Presently she began to 
wander. 

“ Is that you, mother ? Mother, I’ve been such a bad gel 
— bad every way. The Almighty’s punishing me. I’m dying, 
and He’s a sending me to hell.” 

“ No,” said the quiet voice of the man. “ No ; you are 
the one He wants. He is seekin g you.” 

“ Eh ? ” she said. Once more her clouded brain cleared. 
11 Eh, how my breath does go. I’m a-going to hell ! ” 

11 No. He-has sent me to find you; you are not going 
there.” 

“ How do you know ? ” 

She turned herself an inch or two in her astonishment 
and stared up at him. 

Something in his face seemed to fill her with astonish- 
ment. 

11 Take off your hat,” she said. “ Are you Jesus Christ ? ’.* 

It was at this juncture that Helps turned and fled. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


241 


He ran as he never ran before in the whole course of his 
life. Nobody saw him go, and nobody obstructed him in 
his headlong flight. Presently he got back to the Mission 
Hall. The place was closed and dark. He was turning 
away when a woman came out of the deep shelter of the 
doorway and touched his arm. 

“ Essie, is that you ? My God, Essie, I’ve seen a ghost ! ” 

“ No, father, no — a living man.” 

“ This is awful, child. I’m shaking all over. I’d sooner 
be in my grave than go through such a thing again.” 

“ Lean on me, father. We’ll walk a bit, and soon find 
a cab-stand. We’ll have a cab home. It’s about time you 
had your supper. Don’t talk a bit. Get back your poor 
breath.” 

As they were driving home a few minutes later, in a 
hansom, she turned suddenly. 

“ And you’ve got Mr. Wyndham’s address ? ” 

“ Good heavens, Essie, don’t say his name like that ! I 
suppose it’s a sign of the end that I should have seen a 
spirit.” 

“ Nonsense, father, you saw no spirit. That’s Mr. Gerald 
Wyndham in the flesh, as much as you and I are in the 
flesh. You saw no spirit, but a living man. I recognized 
him this morning, but I wasn’t going to take my own word 
for it, so I got you to look him up. They call him Brother 
Jerome down here. Nobody knows anything at all about 
him, how he lives, nor nothing ; only that he goes in and 
out amongst the people, and is always comforting this one 
or cheering that, and quieting down rows, and soothing 
people, and — and — doing more in a day than the Sisters 
or I could do in a week. I’ve heard of him for a month 
past, but I only saw him to-day. He’s a mystery, and 
people wonder about him, and no one can tell how he 
lives, nor where he sleeps. / know, though. He sleeps 
out of doors, and he starves. He shan’t starve any longer.” 

16 


242 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE , 


CHAPTER XXXIX. 

“ Esther,” said Helps, late that night, after Cherry, in a 
very sulky humor, had gone to bed, “ Esther, this is a very 
terrible, a very awful thing for me ! ” 

“ How so, father ! ” 

She was kneeling by his side. Now she put her arm 
round his neck, and looked into his face. Her beating, 
throbbing, exulting heart told her that her discovery of 
that day was new life to her. 

“ I am glad,” she continued, after a solemn pause ; “ yes, 
I don't mind owning I am very glad that a good man like 
Mr. Wyndham still lives.” 

u Child, you don’t know what you are talking about. It 
is awful — awful — his coming back. Even if he is alive he 
ought to have stayed away. His coming back like this is 
terrible. It means, it means ” 

“ What, father ? ” 

“ Child, it must never be known : he must be warned ; 
he must go away at once. Suppose anybody else saw 
him ? ” 

“ Father,” said Esther. 

She rose and stood over the shrinking old man. 

il You have got to tell me the meaning of those queer 
words of yours. I guessed there was a mystery about Mr. 
Wyndham ; now I am certain. If I don’t know it before 
I leave the room to-night, I’ll make mischief. There ! ” 

“ Essie — Essie — I thought you had turned into a good 
girl.” 

“ I’ll turn bad again. Listen. I love that man. Not 
as a girl loves her lover — not as a wife cares for her hus- 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


243 


band. He is married, and I should not be ashamed to tell 
his wife how I love him. I glory in my love ; he saved me. 
Father, I wasn’t coming home at all that night. He saved 
me ; you can understand how I feel for him. My life 
wouldn’t be a great deal to give up for him. There has 
been mischief done to him, that I am sure. Now tell me 
the truth ; then I’ll know how to act. Oh, father, you’re 
the dearest and the kindest. Tell me the truth and you 
won’t repent it.” 

“No, Essie, child, I don’t suppose I shall repent. Sit 
there. You know too much, you may as well know all. 
Mr. Wyndham’s life was insured.” 

“ Yes?” 

“ Heavily, mark you, heavily.” 

“ Yes.” She covered her face with her hands. <l Let 
me think. Say, father ” — she flung her hands into her lap 
— “ was this done on purpose ? ” 

“ Ay, child, ay ; and a better man never lived. Ay, it 
was done on purpose.” 

“ He was meant not to come back ? ” 

“ That’s it, Essie, my dear. That’s it.” 

“ I see ; .yes, I see. Was the insurance money paid ? ” 

“ Every farthing of it, child. A large sum paid in full.” 

“ If he appeared again it would have to be refunded ? ” 

“ If it could be, child.” 

“ If it couldn’t ? ” 

“ Then the story, the black story of why it was wanted, 
would have to come out ; and — and — Esther, is the door 
locked ? Come close, Essie. Your old father and my 
master would end our days in penal servitude.” 

“ Now I see,” said Esther. 

She did not scream nor utter any loud exclamation, but 
began to pace softly up and down the room. Mentally 
she was a strong girl ; her calm in this emergency proved 
her mettle. 


244 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


After a few moments Helps began to speak ; his words 
were wild and broken. 

“ Over and over I thought I’d rather,” he said. “ Over, 
and over, and over — when I saw what it meant for him, 
poor young gentleman. But I can’t, Essie, I can’t. When 
it comes to the pinch I can’t do it. We thought he was 
dead, my master and I, and my master he went off his 
head. And over he said, yes, over and over — ‘ Helps, a 
clean cell and a clean heart would be heaven to this.’ 
But, bless you, Essie, he couldn’t stand it either at the 
pinch. We thought Mr. Wyndham lying under the sea. 
Oh, poor young gentleman, he had no right to come back.’’ 

“ No right ? He has a wife and a child.” 

“A widow and orphan, you mean. No, Esther, he 
should have stayed away. He made a vow, and he should 
have stuck to it.” 

“ He has not broken his vow, father. Oh, father, what 
a wicked thing you have done ; you and that master to 
whom you have given your life. Now let me think.” 

“You won’t send me to prison, Esther?” 

“ No, no. Sit down. I must think things out. Even 
now I don’t know clearly about Mr. Wyndham ; you have 
only treated me to half-confidences. Stay, though, I don’t 
wish to hear more. You mustn’t go to prison. Mr. 
Wyndham mustn’t starve. I have it. Mr. Wyndham shall 
come here.” 

“ Esther ! ” 

Poor old Helps uttered a shriek, which caused Cherry 
to turn uneasily on her pillow. 

“ Keep yourself quiet, father. I’m a determined woman, 
and this thing shall be. Mr. Wyndham shall eat of our 
bread, and we will shelter him ; and I — I, Esther Helps — 
will undertake to guard his secret and yours. No one 
living shall guess who he is.” 

“ You forget — oh, this is an awful thing to do. You 
forget — there’s Cherry.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


245 


“ I’ll blind Cherry. If I can’t, she must go. I shall 
bring Mr. Wyndham home to-morrow night ! ” 

“ Esther, this will kill me.” 

“ No, it won’t. On the contrary, you’ll be a better and 
a happier man. You wouldn’t have him starve, when 
through him you have your liberty? I’m ashamed of 
you.” 

She lit her candle and walked away. 

Old Helps never went to bed that night. 


246 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


CHAPTER XL. 

Esther did not go out next morning. Cherry was surprised 
at this. Helps went off at his usual hour. Cherry noticed 
that he ate little or no breakfast ; but Esther did not stir. 
She sat quietly by the*breakfast table. She ate well and 
deliberately. Her eyes were bright, her whole face was full 
of light and expression. 

“ Ain’t you going down as usual to those dirty slums ? ” 
quoth Cherry. “ I’m sick of them. You and your clothes 
both coming in so draggled like at night. I’m sick of the 
slums. But perhaps you mean to give them up.” 

“ Oh, no,” said Esther, waking from a reverie into which 
she had fallen, “ but I’m not going this morning. I’ve 
something else to attend to.” 

u Then perhaps, Esther,” said Cherry, with her round 
eyes sparkling, “you’d maybe think to remember your 
promise of getting that pink gauze dress out of your trunk ; 
you know you promised it to me, and I’ve a mind to make 
it up with yellow bows. I’m sure to want it for something 
about Christmas.” 

“ You shall have it,” said Esther, in a sharp, short 
voice. 

The abstracted look returned to her face. She gazed 
out of the window. 

“ Law, Essie, ain’t you changed, and for the worse, I 
take it ! ” remarked Cherry. “ I liked you a sight better 
when you were flighty and frivolous. Do you remember 
the night you went to the theatre with that Captain some- 
thing or other? My word, wasn’t uncle in a taking. ’Twas 
I found your tickets, and put uncle up to getting a seat near 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


$47 

you. Weren’t you struck all of a heap when you found 
him there ? I never heard how you took it.” 

“ Hush,” said Esther, rising to her feet, her face growing 
very while. “ I was mad, then, but I was saved. That’s 
enough about it. Cherry, you know the box-room? ” 

“ Yes,” said Cherry. <f It’s stuffed pretty well, too. 
Mostly with your trunks, what you say belonged to your 
mother.” 

“ So they did. Well, they must go downstairs.” 

“ Wherever to ? There isn’t a*corner for them in this 
scrap of a house.” 

*• Corners must be found. Some of the trunks can go 
in our bed-room — some into father’s ; some into the pas- 
sage, some into the drawing-room if necessary. You 
needn’t stare, it has got to be done.” 

Esther stamped her foot and looked so imperious that 
Cherry shrank away. 

“ I suppose you’re a bit mad again,” she muttered, and 
she began to collect the breakfast things on a tray. 

“ Stop, Cherry, we may as well talk this out. I’ll go 
upstairs now and help you with the boxes. Then we’ll clean 
out the attic; if I had time I’d paper it, but there ain’t. 
Then I’m going out to buy a bedstead and bedding, and a 
table and washhand stand. The attic is to be made into 
a bed-room for ” 

Here she paused. 

“Well,” said Cherry, “ for whom, in the name of good- 
ness ? ” 

Esther gulped something down in her throat. 

“ There’s a good man in the East of London, a very good 
man ; he has no money, and he’s starving, and he has to 
sleep out of doors ; and — and — I can’t stand it, Cherry — 
and I spoke to father, and we have agreed that he shall 
have the attic and his food. That’s it, his name is Brother 
Jerome ; he’s a sort of an angel for goodness.” 


248 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ Slums again,” said Cherry ; “ I’ll have nothing to do 
with it.” 

She took up her tray and marched into the kitchen. 
Esther waited a minute or two, then she went to her room, 
put on a coarse check apron, and mounted the narrow 
attic stairs. She commenced pulling the trunks about ; she 
could not lift them alone, but she intended to push them to 
the head of the stairs and then shove them down. 

•Presently a thumping step was heard, and Cherry’s 
round face appeared. 

“ Disgusting job, I call it,” she said ; “ but if I must 
help you, I suppose I must. I was going to learn ‘ Lord 
Tom Noddy ’ this morning. I thought I might wear the 
pink gauze with yellow bows, and recite it at Uncle Dan’s 
Christmas party. Cousin Tom says I’m real dramatic when 
I’m excited, and that’s a beautiful piece, so rhymic and 
flowing. But then we all have to bend to you, Esther, and 
if I must help you I suppose I must.” 

“ 1 think you had better, dear, and some day perhaps 
you won’t be sorry. He’s a good man, Brother Jerome is, 
he won’t be no trouble. I’ll clean his room for him myself 
once it’s put in order, and he’s sure to go out early in the 
morning. He’ll breakfast upstairs, and I’ll take him his 
breakfast, and his supper shall be ready for him here 
at night. We must see if that chimney will draw, Cherry, 
for of course he’ll want his bit of fire.” 

After this the two girls worked with a will ; they cleaned 
and polished the tiny window, they scrubbed the floor and 
brushed down the walls, and polished the little grate. Then 
Esther went out and made her purchases. The greater 
part of a five pound note was expended, and by the after- 
noon Gerald Wyndham’s room was ready for him. 

“ Brother Jerome will come home with me to-night, 
Cherry,” said Esther. “ I may be late — I’m sure to be late 
— you needn’t sit up.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


*49 

“ But I’d like to see him. Slums or no slums, he has 
given me a pair of stiff arms, and I want to find out if he’s 
worth them.” 

“ Oh, he’s nothing to look at. Just a tall, thin, starved- 
looking man, He’ll be shy, maybe, of coming, and you’d 
much better go to bed. You’ll leave some supper ready in 
his room.” 

11 What shall I leave ? ” 

“ Oh, a jug of beer and some cheese, and the cold meat 
and some bread and butter. That’s all, he’s accustomed 
to roughing it.” 

“ My word, you call that roughing. Then the slums 
can’t be so bad. I always thought there was an uncom- 
mon fuss made about them. Now I’ll get to 1 Lord Tom 
Noddy,’ and learn off a good bit before tea time ; you 
might hear me recite if you had a mind, Essie.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


250 


CHAPTER XLI. 

“ Oh, yes, she’s the sweetest missus in the world ! ” 

That was the universal opinion of the servants who 
worked for Valentine Wyndham. They never wanted to 
leave her, they never grumbled about her, nor thought her 
gentle orders hard. The nurse, the cook, the housemaid, 
stayed on, the idea of change did not occur to them. 

Valentine and her little son came back to the house in 
town at the end of October. Lilias came with them, and 
Adrian Carr often ran up to town and paid a visit to the 
two. 

One day he came with a piece of news. He had got the 
offer of an incumbency not very far from Park Lane. A 
fashionable church wanted a good preacher. Carr had 
long ago developed unusual powers as a pulpit orator, and 
the post, with a good emolument, was offered to him. He 
came to consult Lilias and Valentine in the matter. 

“ Of course you must go,” said Lilias. “ My father will 
miss you — we shall all — but that isn’t the point. This is 
a good thing for you — a great thing — you must certainly 
go.” 

“ And I can often see you,” responded Carr, eagerly. 
“ Mrs. Wyndham will let me come here, I hope, and you 
will often be here.” 

“ I wish you would spend the winter with me, Lilias,” 
said Valentine. She had interpreted aright the expression 
in Carr’s eyes, and soon afterwards she left the room. 

She went up to her own room, shut and locked the door, 
and then stood gazing into the fire with her hands tightly 
locked together. She inherited one gift from her father. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 251 

She, too, could wear a mask. Now it dropped from her, 
and her young face looked lined and old. 

“ It isn’t the grief of losing him,” she murmured under 
her breath. “ It’s the pain — the haunting fear — that things 
are wrong. Have I known my father all these years not 
to note the change in him ? He shrinks from me — he 
dreads me. Why ? His conscience is guilty. Oh, Gerald, 
if I had only let you look into my heart, perhaps you would 
not have gone away. Oh, if only I had been in time to go 
on board the Esperance you would have been living now. 
Yes, Gerald, the terror never leaves me day and night; 
you are dead, but God did not mean you to die. My own 
Gerald — my heart would have been broken, or I should 
have lost my reason, if I had not confided my fears to Mr. 
Carr. Some people perhaps think I have forgotten — some 
again that I have ceased to love my husband. How little 
they know ! Of course I am bright outwardly. But my 
heart is old and broken. I have had a very sad life — I am 
a very unhappy woman. Only for little Gerry I couldn’t 
live. He is sweet, but I wish he were more like his father. 
Ah, there is nurse’s knock at the door. Coming, nurse. 
Is baby with you ? ” 

Mrs. Wyndham unlocked her door, and a little round, 
dimpled, brown-tinted child scampered in. He was fol- 
lowed by his nurse, a grave, nice-looking woman of about 
thirty. She was a widow, and had a son of her own. 

“Has baby come to say good-night, Annette? Come 
here, sweet. Come into mother’s arms.” 

She sat down on a low chair by the fire, and the little 
man climbed on her knee. 

“ I don’t 'ike 00. I 'ove 00,” he said. 

“ He’s always saying that, ma’am,” remarked the nurse. 
“ He likes his toys — he loves his mother.” 

“Course I ’ove my mother.” 

He laid his brown curly head on her breast. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


252 

“ Nurse, is anything the matter? You don’t look well.” 

“That’s it, madam. I’m not ill in body, but I’m sore 
fretted in mind. Now, baby, darling, don’t you pull your 
dear ma to bits ! The fact is, ma’am, and sore I am to say 
it, I’m afraid I must leave this precious child.” 

a Nurse ! ” 

Valentine’s arms dropped away from baby ; baby raised 
his own curly head, and fixed his brown eyes on the woman, 
his rosy lips pouted. 

“ Sore I am to say it, ma’am,” repeated Annette, “ but 
there’s no help. I’ve put off the evil day all I could, 
ma’am ; but my mother’s old, and my own boy has been ill, 
and she says I must go home and see after them both. Of 
course, madam, I’ll suit your convenience as to the time 
of my going, and I hope you’ll get some one else as will 
love the dear child. Come to bed, master baby, dear ; 
your mother wants to go down to dinner.” 


A few days after this, as Helps was taking his comfort- 
able breakfast, cooked to perfection by Cherry’s willing 
hands, he raised his eyes suddenly, looked across at his 
daughter Esther, and made a remark. 

“ I’m told poor young madam is in no end of a taking.” 

“ What young madam, father? ” 

11 Mrs. Wyndham, The nurse is going and the child has 
got wooping cough. He’s bad, too, poor little ’un, and 
frets about the nurse like anything. My master’s in a way, 
too ; he’s wrapped up in that little lad. It was he told 
me ; he said perhaps you’d know of a nurse as would suit, 
Esther.” 

“Don’t stare so, Cherry,” said Esther. “Anybody 
would think father was talking of ghosts, to see the big- 
ness of your eyes. Well, father, yes, I’ll think about a 
nurse. I’m sorry the child is ill.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


253 


“ Don't you go and get a nurse from the slums,” retorted 
Cherry. “You’re all slums, you are. My word, I am 
having a time since that new lodger took possession.” 

Here Cherry paused to pour fresh water into the tea-pot. 
Esther and her father exchanged frightened glances. 

“Brother Jerome, indeed!” proceeded this energetic 
young person. “ He’s a mighty uneasy sort of Brother 
Jerome. His good deeds don’t seem to quieten him, any- 
way. And why does he always keep a hat stuck on his 
head, and never raise it when he passes me on the stairs. 
I know I’m broad and I’m stout, and I’ve no looks to 
boast of, but it’s meant for men to raise their hats to women, 
and I don’t see why he shouldn’t. Then at night he walks 
the boards overhead fit to work on anybody’s nerves. I 
don’t recite half so dramatic as I did, because I can’t get 
my sleep unbroken.” 

“ Your tongue ain't stopped, anyway,” said her uncle, 
almost crossly. “ Esther, you’ll think about the nurse for 
young madam.” 

He rose and left the room. 

Esther sat still a little longer. She heard Cherry rat- 
tling the plates in the kitchen. Presently she got up, put 
on her bonnet and cloak, called good-bye to her cousin, 
and went out. There 'could scarcely be a better Sister of 
the Poor than Esther Helps. She was near enough to 
them socially to understand their sorrows. She had never 
known starvation,, but she could take in what tiny means 
meant — their mode of speech was comprehensible to her, she 
was sufficiently unfastidious to go into their dirty rooms, to 
witness their uncouth, semi-savage ways without repulsion. 
She liked the life, it suited her, and her it. She was the 
kind of woman to be popular as a district visitor. She had 
abundance of both sympathy and tact. When her sympa- 
thies were aroused, her manners could be affectionate. In 
addition, she had a very lovely face. The poor of East 


4 LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


London adore beauty ; it comes so rarely near them in 
any case that they look upon it as an inestimable treasure. 
The women and children liked to watch Esther when she 
talked and when she smiled. The men treated her with 
the respect due to a regal presence. 

Esther went down as usual to her mission work to-day. 
Sister Josephine, the head of this branch of work, greeted 
the handsome girl with a smile when she came in, drew 
her aside, and spoke to her about a particularly difficult 
undertaking which was soon to be commenced. This 
undertaking would require the utmost tact and talent ; the 
sister asked Esther if she would be willing to become the 
head of the movement. 

“ I don’t know anyone more suitable,” she said in con- 
clusion. Only if you come, you must consent to sleep 
away from home. Some of our work — our principal work 
— will take place at night.” 

Esther’s clear ivory-tinted skin became a shade paler. 
She looked full at the sister with troubled but unshrinking 
eyes. 

“ You do me a great honor,” she said. “ But I am 
afraid I must decline it. At present I cannot sleep away 
from home. It is also possible — yes, it is quite possible — - 
that I may have to give up the work altogether fora time.” 

“ Esther, are you putting your hand to the plough and 
looking back ? ” 

“ I don’t know, Sister Josephine. Perhaps I am.” 

The sister laid her hand solemnly on the girl’s arm. 

“ Esther, if you love anyone better than God, you have 
no right to come here,” she said. 

Then she turned away and walked sorrowfully down the 
long mission room. She was disappointed in Esther 
Helps, and though Esther’s own heart never faltered, she 
felt a sharp pang pierce it. 

That night she came home late, 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


255 


“ Has Brother Jerome come in? ” she asked Cherry. 

“ No. How you do fash about that man ! His supper’s 
waiting for him, and I saw to his fire. Now I’m going to 
bed. I’m dead tired.” 

“ Do, Cherry. I’ll sit up for Brother Jerome.” 

“ Ask him, for goodness sake, not to march the boards 
so frequent. He’ll have my grey hairs to account for. 
He’s picked up a cough, too, and between the creaking of 
the boards, and the coughing, I have nice nights lately.” 

“You study too much, Cherry, or you wouldn’t mind 
such little noises. Now go to bed, dear. I’ll give Brother 
Jerome a hint.” 

“ Good-night, Esther. Uncle’s been in bed an hour or 
more. I hope that brother of the slums won’t keep you 
long.” 

Cherry ran upstairs, and Esther went into the bright 
warm little kitchen. She left the door wide open, and 
then she sat and waited. 

The substance of Sister Josephine’s words rang in her 
ears. 

“ If you love another better than God, you have no 
right to come here.” 

Did she love another better than God ? No, no, impossi- 
ble. A man had influenced her life, and because of his 
influence she had given herself up, soul and body, to God’s 
service. How could she love the man best? He had 
only pointed to the higher way. 

Then she heard his step outside ; his latch-key in the 
door, and she felt herself tremble. He went straight up- 
stairs, never glancing in the direction of the kitchen ; as 
he went he coughed, and his cough sounded hollow. His 
figure, never remarkably upright, was much bent. 

Esther waited a few minutes ; then, her heart going pit- 
a-pat, she crept very softly upstairs, passed her own room 
and Cherry’s, and knocked at Wyndham’s door, 


256 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


He came and opened it. 

“ Can I speak with you, brother ? ” 

“ Certainly. Come in, Esther ? ” 

The attic had been converted into a wonderfully snug 
apartment. The bed and washing apparatus were cur- 
tained off, and the part of the room which surrounded the 
hearth revealed a bright fire, a little table on which a 
tempting cold supper was spread, and a deep easy chair. 

“Sit down, brother,” said Esther, “and eat. Let me 
help you. I can talk while you eat your supper. Are you 
very tired to-night? Yes, I am afraid you are dreadfully 
tired.” 

“ I am always tired, Esther. That is in the condition 
of things.” 

He sank back into his chair as if he were too weary to 
keep out of it. Then, with a flash of the old Gerald Wynd- 
ham in his eyes and manner, he sprang up. 

“ I was forgetting myself. Will you sit here ! ” 

“ What do you take me for, Mr. — Brother Jerome, I 
mean. I have come up here to see you eat, to see you 
rest, and to — to — talk to you.” 

“ Esther, I have no words to thank you. You are, yes, 
you are the noblest woman I know.” 

She flushed all over ; her eyes shone. 

“ And isn’t that thanks for ever and ever ? ” she said 
in a voice in which passion trembled. 

Wyndham did not notice. He had taken off his hat, 
and Cherry’s good supper stood by his side. He ate a 
little, then put down his knife and fork. 

“ Ain’t you hungry, sir ? ” 

“ No. At first, when I came here, I was so starved that 
I never could eat enough. Now I am the other way, not 
hungry at all.” 

“ And, sir, you have got a cough.” 

“ Yes, I had a very bad wetting last week, and a cough 










A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


2 57 


is the result. Strange. I had no cough when I slept out 
of doors.” 

“ Mr. Wynd — Brother Jerome, I mean, you wouldn’t go 
back to that old life ? Say you wouldn’t go back.” 

The almost anguish in her voice penetrated for the first 
time to Wyndham’s ear. He gave her a startled glance, 
then said with warmth : — 

“ Esther, you and your father have been good Samaritans 
to me ; as long as it is safe I will stay with you.” 

“It shall and must be safe. Who would look for you 
here, of all places, when they think you are buried under 
the waves of the sea ? ” 

“ That is true. I expect it is perfectly safe for me to 
stay.” 

He lay back in his chair, and gazed into the fire ; he had 
almost forgotten Esther’s presence. 

“And you like it — you feel happier since you came? ” 
she asked, presently, in a timid voice. 

“ What did you say ? ” 

“ Mr. Wyndham,” the forbidden name came out with a 
burst, “ do tell poor Esther Helps that you are happier 
since she found you.” 

She had fallen on her knees, the tears were streaming 
from her eyes ; she held out her hands to him. 

“Oh,” she said, “ I would give my life for yours.” 

In a moment Wyndham’s dreamy attitude left him ; he 
sprang to his feet, all alive and keen and watchful. He 
was the old Wyndham ; his eyes were full of pity, which 
made his whole face radiant. 

“ Hush,” he said. “ Get up. Don’t say any more. Not 
another word — not a syllable. You forget yourself. Esther, 
I saved you once — I must save you again. Sit there, yes, 
there ; I am quite strong. I must tell you the truth. 
Esther, I said just now that you were the noblest woman I 


17 


2 5 8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


know. You must go on being noble. I will stay here on 
that condition.” 

“ Oh, sir, will you? '* Poor Esther would have liked to 
shrink through the very boards. “Will you forgive me, 
sir ? ” 

“ Hush ; don’t talk about forgiveness. There is nothing 
to forgive. Esther, I will show you how much I trust you. 
I will talk to you about my wife. I will tell you a little of 
my story ; I mean the part I can tell without implicating 
others.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE , 


259 


CHAPTER XLII. 

Esther was now seated in the easy-chair ; Wyndham stood 
by the mantel-piece. He had got a shock, and that shock 
had given him strength, and a good deal of his old manner. 

“ Esther,” he said, “ I cannot tell you all the story, but 
some of it I should like you to hear. You are a friend to 
me, Esther, and the part that relates to myself I will con- 
fide to you.” 

“ Sir, I know the other part ; you have been the victim 
of a wicked man.” 

“ Hush ; I don’t wish to speak about anyone but myself. 
I don’t blame anyone but myself, I loved a woman, Esther 
Helps, so much better than myself that for her sake I 
resolved to die to the world. I need not give you the reason 
of this. It seemed to me necessary for her happiness that I 
should do this ; and I did not think it too much to do. I 
married my wife knowing that the great love I had for 
her was not returned. This seemed all for the best, as 
when I died, as die to all appearance I should, her heart 
would not be broken. She could continue to live happy and 
honored. Do you follow me ? ” 

“ Yes, sir, yes. Are you tired ? Will you sit, Mr. Wynd- 
ham ? ” 

“ I was never less tired. When I speak of my wife I feel 
as if a fresh vigor were coming into me. We were married, 
and I soon found that I had overtaxed my own resolve. 
In one particular I could not complete the sacrifice I had 
undertaken. I tried to make her love me, and for a time 
— a short time — I thought I had succeeded.” 

The speaker paused, and the eagerness of his tone 
changed. 


26 o 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ I failed. The heart that I most craved for was not to 
be mine. I tested it, but it did not respond. This was best, 
no doubt, but the fact preyed on me dreadfully. I went 
on board the Esperance , and, then, God forgive me, the 
thought took possession of me, the idea overmastered me, 
that I would make my fictitious death real. Everything had 
been carefully arranged with regard to my apparent death. 
That part implicates others, so I will not touch upon it. I 
resolved to make certainty doubly certain by dying in 
earnest. Thus my wife’s future would be assured. My 
death would be real, the thing that might come upon her 
would be averted for ever. I was in a condition when I 
could not balance right and wrong ; but my intellect was 
sufficiently keen and sensible to make me prepare for the 
deed I contemplated. I took steps which would prevent 
anyone on board thinking that I had fallen overboard by 
design. My death would be attributed to the merest acci- 
dent. Thus all was made absolutely safe. What is the 
matter, Esther ? ” 

“ Oh, Mr. Wyndham ! Oh, you frighten me. Did you — 
did you think of your soul, sir ? ” v 

“ I did, Esther. But I loved my wife better than my 
hope of heaven. I resolved to risk even that for her. As 
I tell you, I had no sense of personal right or wrong at that 
time. You see that I am a very wicked man, Esther — no 
hero — a man who yielded to a dire temptation. I won’t 
talk about this. The night came, and I dropped into the 
water. There was a storm that night. It was dark, but 
now and then the stars could be seen through the rifts of 
. the clouds. As I leapt overboard I looked up, and saw 
the brightness of the Southern Cross. Then I went under. 
The great waves closed over my head. The next instant 
I came to the surface only possessed with one fierce frantic 
desire, to save the life I meant to throw away. Better be 
a living dog than a dead lion, I said to myself. Yes, I would 
live — if only like the miserable dogs of Eastern towns. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


261 


would live as the outcast, as the scum of the earth — I would 
live. I had done a horrible thing in seeking to throw 
away my life. I cried aloud in an anguish of terror : — ‘ God 
spare me ! God leave my breath in my body ! Don’t 
take my spirit before the judgment seat ! ’ Through the 
rifts in the clouds I saw a boat at a little distance 
manned by some of the sailors who were looking for 
me. I shouted, but no living voice could be heard in the 
gale. Then I resolved to husband my strength. I was an 
excellent swimmer, and I could always float like a cork. I 
could not swim in that sea, but I could lie quite passive on 
the waves. I turned on my back, and waited for the issue 
of events. I closed my eyes and felt myself being moved 
up and down. The motion in itself was not unpleasant. 
The waves were wonderfully buoyant. Instead of losing 
my strength I was rested. My heart beat steadily. I knew 
that my chance of life depended on my keeping very cool. 
Presently something struck me. I put out my hand and 
grasped a floating oar. By means of the oar I knew that 
unless I froze with the cold I could keep above the water 
for hours. I placed it under my arms and kept above the 
water with very little effort. 

“ The cold, however, was intense, and I doubt that I 
could have lived till morning had not another chance of 
deliverance just then appeared. The clouds had almost 
cleared from the sky, and by the brightness of the southern 
constellations I saw something gleaming white a little 
further off. It was not the ‘ship, which must have been a 
league or two away by now, but something I could see in 
my present horizontal position. I ventured to raise my 
head a very little, and saw a boat — a boat painted white — 
which, strange to say, had not been overturned by the 
roughness of the waves. It was gently floating onwards in 
my direction. The name Esperance was painted in gold 
letters on the outside of the boat, near the bow. I guessed 


262 


A life for a lovf. 


at once what had happened. One of the ships’ boats had 
got loose from its moorings in the gale, and was now sent 
to me as an ark of deliverance. It was evidently on one of 
the ship’s oars, too, that I was supporting my head. 

“ Then I saw that God did not mean me to die, and a 
great glow of gratitude and even happiness ran through 
me. You will wonder at this, but you don’t know how 
horrible death looked in the jaws of that angry sea. 

“ The boat came nearer, and nearer and my happiness and 
sense of relief grew to almost rapture. I cried aloud : — ‘God, 
I thank Thee ! Take the life you have thought worth pre- 
serving almost through a miracle, as your own absolutely. 
Take my body, take my spirit, to spend, to worship, to lose 
myself in Thee ! ’ Then the boat came up, and I had to 
duck under to avoid being stunned by her. 

“ It is no easy matter to get into an empty boat in a rough 
sea. My hands were almost numb, too, for I had been a 
couple of hours in the water. I felt, however, quite cool, 
self-possessed and quiet. I could think clearly, and bring 
my little knowledge of boats to my aid. I knew my only 
chance of not upsetting the boat was to climb over by the 
stern. This, after tremendous difficulties, I accomplished. 
I lay in the bottom of the boat for some time quite uncon- 
scious. When at last I was able to rouse myself, daylight 
had come and the storm had gone down. My clothes were 
drenched through with salt water. I could not keep from 
shivering, and every bone ached. I was not the least hun- 
gry, but I was consumed with thirst. There were two or 
three oars lashed to the side of the boat. I could row, 
therefore, and the exercise warmed me. Presently the sun 
came up in the heavens. I was glad of this, but its rays 
beating on my uncovered head soon produced headache, 
which in its turn brought on a queer giddiness and a feel- 
ing of sickness. I saw now that I was going to be very ill, 
and I wondered how long I should retain my senses. I 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE % 


263 


knew that it behoved me to be very careful. I was alive, 
but for my wife’s sake I must appear to be dead. I saw 
that I had taken the very best possible step to insure this 
end, and if I could only carry on my purpose to its con- 
clusion I should have adopted a far better plan for secur- 
ing the establishment of my own apparent death than the 
one originally devised for me. 

“ Aching as I did from head to foot I found it difficult 
to keep my thoughts collected. I managed, however, to 
do so, and also to scratch out the name of the Esperance 
from the bows of the boat. This I accomplished with my 
pocket knife. I also cut away my own name from my linen, 
and from two handkerchiefs which I found in my pockets. 
These handkerchiefs had been marked by my wife. After 
this I knew there was no more I could do. I must drift 
along and take my chance of being picked up. I cannot 
recall how I passed the day. I believe I rowed a little 
when I felt cold ; but the greater part of the time I simply 
allowed the boat to drift. 

“ That evening I was picked up by a trading vessel bound 
for the Cape. Its crew were mostly Dutch, and several of 
the sailors were black. I faintly remember going on board 
the vessel. Then all memory leaves me. I had a long 
illness — a fever which changed me, turning my hair very 
grey. I grew a beard in my illness, and would not allow 
it to be removed when I got better, as I knew that in the 
future I must live under the shadow of death, I must com- 
pletely sink the identity which made life of value. 

“ I was put into hospital when we arrived at Cape Town, 
and when I got better was given a small purse of money, 
which had been collected by some people who professed 
to take an interest in me. On the day I left the hospital 
I really commenced my new life. 

“ It is unnecessary to tell you all that followed. I had 
not forgotten my vow — the vow I made to God verily out 


264 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


of the deeps. I determined, as far as it was in me, abso- 
lutely to renounce myself and to live for God as He reveals 
himself in suffering man. I did not resolve to do this with 
any ulterior motive of saving my own soul, and atoning for 
the sin of the past. I felt that God deserved all that I 
could possibly give Him, and to give it absolutely and 
without reservation kept me, I believe, from losing my 
senses. For a time all went well. Then the hunger which 
had been my curse came back. You will ask what that was. 
It was a sense of utter starvation which no physical food 
could satisfy, which no mental food could appease. I must 
get near my wife. I had sinned for her, and now I could 
not keep away from her. I must at least live in the same 
country. I prayed against this hunger ; I fought with it, 
I struggled with it, but I could not beat it down. A year 
ago I came back to England. I came to London, to the 
safest place for a man who must hide. Willing hands are 
always needed to help to lighten some of the load of misery 
in this great city. I called myself Brother Jerome, and 
presently I found my niche. I worked, and I could have 
been happy. Yes, starving in body, with nowhere to lay 
my head, I could have been happy following The Blessed 
example, but for the hunger which always drove me mad, 
which was gnawing at my heart, which gnaws there still — 
which — Esther — Esther Helps — is — killing me ! ” 

Wyndhani dropped his head on his hands. He uttered 
one groan. When he raised his head again his eyes were 
wet. 

“ I am close to my wife,” he said ; “ but I have never 
heard of her once — not once since I returned.” 

Then he sat down in the chair which Esther rose from. 
He began to cough again, and Esther saw the drops of 
sweat standing large on his forehead. 

It was now her turn to speak. She stood upright — a tall, 
slim woman — a woman who had gone through a change so 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 265 

great as almost to amount to a new birth — while Wyndham 
had been telling his story. 

“ Now,” she said, “ I am happy. I praise God for His 
mercies, for it is given to me to comfort you.” 

Wyndham raised his head; he was- too exhausted to ask 
her what she meant, except with his eyes. 

“ Your wife is well, and from this day forth you shall 
hear news of her, fresh news, once a week. Every Sunday 
you shall hear.” 

“ Esther, don’t torture me. Are you telling me truth ? ” 
“ I am telling you the solemn truth. Would I lit to a 
man like you ? Mr. Wyndham, do you know, has anyone 
ever told you that you have a child ? ” 

“ Nobody. Is this the case ? My God, a child ! ” 

“ Yes, sir, a little boy ; he is called after you. He is 
three years old. You’d like to see him, maybe ? ” 

“ Good heavens, Esther, this is like new wine to me. I 
have a son of my own — Valentine’s son ! ” 

He began to pace the floor. 

“ And you would like to see him, wouldn’t you, sir? ” 

“ Yes — no — the joy might kill me. People have died of 
joy.” 

“ You wouldn’t die of joy, sir. It has always been the 
other way with you. Joy would make you live, would 
cure that cough, and that sinking feeling you have told me 
of.” 

“ And the hunger, Esther — the hunger which gnaws and 
gnaws. Esther, you are a wonderful woman.” 

“Sit down, Mr. Wyndham. Keep quiet. Don’t get 
excited. I’ll do this for you. I made up the plan this 
morning. It was about that I came to speak to you. The 
baby wants a new nurse. To-morrow I am going to offer 
for the place. I shall get it, too, no fear of that. I shall 
live in the same house as your wife, every night your son 
will sleep in my arms. Each Sunday I come here with my 


266 


A LIRE FOR A LOVE. 


news — my weekful of news. Some day I bring your son. 
What more natural than that I should come to my father 
once a week. Who will suspect? Mr. Wyndham, that 
hunger of yours shall have one weekly meal. No fear, no 
fear. And now, sir, go to bed, and may God Almighty 
bless you ! ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


267 


CHAPTER XLIII. 

Valentine Wyndham had often said that no greater 
treasure of a nurse could be found than the one who 
came to her when little Gerald was a month old. When 
she saw Esther, however, she changed her mind. Esther 
was superior to Annette in personal appearance, in intel- 
lect, and in a curious unspoken intangible sympathy which 
brought a strange sense of comfort to Valentine’s strained 
and worn heart. Esther was full of tact. She was not 
demonstrative, but her every look and word expressed 
loving interest. Baby very soon ceased to fret for Annette. 
With a child’s fickleness he boldly declared that he liked 
“noo nurse better than old nurse.” His most loving 
word for Esther was “ noo nurse,” and he was always con- 
tented and happy when he lay in noo nurse’s arms and 
listened to her stories. She had wonderful stories for him, 
stories which she never dreamt of telling in his mother’s 
presence, stories which always led to one termination — a 
termination which had a wonderful fascination for baby. 
They were about little fatherless boys, who in the most un- 
looked for ways found their fathers. Baby revelled in these 
tales. 

“ I’se not got a farwer, noo nursie,” he would generally 
end sorrowfully. 

Then Esther would kiss him, and tell him to wait, and 
to watch for the good fairies who were so kind to little 
boys. 

His whooping cough soon got better, and he was able to 
go out. One day Esther took him early into the Park. 
He was dressed all in white fur. Esther told him he looked 
like Baby Bunting. 


268 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ Bui I haven’t got a farwer to buy me a wabbit-skin,” 
quoth baby. 

That day, however, the father he did not know pressed 
two or three burning kisses on his round cheek. Esther 
sat down on a chair near a very worn and shabby-looking 
man. His back was partly to her. She said a word and 
he turned round. He looked at the child. Suddenly a 
light filled his sunken eyes — a beautiful light. He stretched 
out his arms, and straight as an arrow from a bow, Baby 
Bunting found a shelter in their close embrace. 

“ Kiss me,” said the man. 

The little lips pressed his cheek. 

“ I ’ove oo,” said baby, in his contented voice. “ Has 
’oo little boys of ’oo own ? ” 

“ One little boy.” 

“Oo ’ove him, I pose? ” 

“ Ay.” 

Three kisses were pressed on baby’s face and he was 
returned to Esther. 

“ Nice man,” he said patronizingly, by-and-bye. “ But 
he gived raver hard kisses when he crunched me up.” 

That evening baby told his mother that a man met him 
in the Park, who kissed him and looked sad, and said he 
had a little boy of his own. 

“ And he crunched me up with kisses, mover,” con- 
cluded baby. 

“ Was this man a friend of yours, Esther ? ” queried Mrs. 
Wyndham. 

“Yes, madam, a friend of mine, and of my father’s. A 
gentleman with a very sorrowful story. I think it com- 
forted him to kiss master baby.” 

Esther was a woman of acute observation. It seemed 
to her that if there was an individual on earth to be envied 
it was Valentine Wyndham. What matter though she 
thought herself a widow ? Still she had won a love of a 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


269 


quality and depth which surely must satisfy the most 
exacting heart. Esther often said to herself that if she 
were Valentine she must surely rest content. As to her for- 
getting Wyndham that could surely, surely never be. 

These were Esther’s thoughts, always suppposing the case 
to be her own ; but she had not been many weeks in the 
house in Park Lane before she began to open her eyes and 
to suspect that matters were otherwise with her young 
mistress. Valentine, although still a wife, supposed herself 
a widow. All the world thought her such. What more 
natural than that she should turn her thoughts once more 
to love. At the time of her supposed widowhood she was 
under twenty years of age Why should she mourn for her 
young husband all her days ? Surely .there was somebody 
who considered that she ought not to mourn — somebody 
who came almost daily to the house, whom Mrs. Wynd- 
ham liked to talk to. For Esther noticed that her eyes 
were bright after Adrian Carr went away. She did not 
guess that their brightness was generally caused by the 
shedding of tears. 

Esther began to feel very uncomfortable. Should she or 
should she not tell Wyndham of the danger which was 
threatening Valentine ? 

There came a Sunday when Mrs. Wyndham entered her 
nursery with a request. 

“ Nurse, my head aches dreadfully. I know you stipu- 
lated to have every Sunday afternoon to yourself, but if you 
could stay at home to-day I should be grateful.” 

No one could make requests more sweetly than Val- 
entine, and Esther felt herself coloring up with the pain 
of refusing. 

“ 1 am very sorry, madam,” she said in a low constrained 
voice ; “ but — but — my father will expect me. You know 
it was an understood thing, madam, that I was to see him 
once a week. You remember my telling you I am his only 
child.” 


270 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ Yes, yes,” said Valentine, “ and I have thought of that. 
If you will take care of Gerry this one afternoon I will send 
the page in a cab to your home to fetch your father here.” 
Esther changed color, from red to white. 

“Iam more sorry than I can express, my dear madam, 
but it would make all the difference to my father seeing me 
in my own little home and here. My father is very humble 
in his ways, dear madam. I think, perhaps, if you have a 
headache, Jane, the under housemaid, might be trusted for 
once with master baby.” 

“Jane has already gone out,” replied Valentine coldly. 
Then with an effort she swallowed down her resentment. 
“ I will be frank with you, Esther,” she said. “ If it was 
simply a headache I could certainly take care of my little 
boy, even at some inconvenience. But there is more 
behind. I promised Miss Wyndham, who is now in town, 
to meet her this afternoon at Mr. Carr’s new church. She 
is most anxious to hear him preach, and I should be sorry 
to disappoint her.” 

“ You mean you are anxious to hear him preach,” quoth 
Esther, under her breath. “ And is it on that account I 
will leave a hungry heart to starve ? ” Aloud she said : 
“ Do you object to my taking master baby with me, 
madam ? ” 

“ I do object. The child must not be out so late. Then 
you distinctly refuse to accommodate me, Esther ? ” 

“lam obliged to adhere to our arrangement, Mrs. 
Wyndham. I am truly sorry.” 

Valentine held out her hand to her little boy. 

“Come, then, Baby Bunting,” she said. “Mother will 
play with her boy ; and pool Aunt Lilias must go to church 
alone.” 

She did not look at Esther, but went quietly away, hold- 
ing the child’s hand. 

“ V/hat a brute I am,” soliloquized the nurse. “ And 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 271 

yet, sJie, poor young lady, how can she — how can she for- 
get ? ” 

Esther’s home was in all its Sunday quiet when she 
reached it. Helps was having his afternoon siesta in the 
kitchen. Cherry was spending the day with the cousins 
who admired her recitations. Helps started out of his 
slumbers when his daughter came in. 

“ Essie,” he said, “ I’m glad you’ve come. That young 
man upstairs is very ill.” 

Esther felt her heart sinking down. She pressed her hand 
to her side. 

“ Is he worse, father? ” she gasped. 

“ Oh, I don’t know that he’s worse ; he’s bad enough as 
it is, without going in for being worse. He coughs constant, 
and Cherry says he don’t eat enough to keep a robin 
going. Esther, I wish to goodness we could get him out 
of this.” 

“ Why so, father ? He doesn’t hurt you. Even Chery 
can’t name any fault in him.” 

<l No, but suppose he was to die here. There’d be an 
inquest, maybe, and all kinds of questions. Well, I’m not 
hard-hearted, but I do wish he’d go.” 

Esther sank down into the nearest chair. 

“ You speak cruel words now and then, father,” she said. 
“ Who talks of dying ? He won’t die. If it comes to that, 
or any chance of it, I’ll come back and nurse him to life 
again.” 

“ Essie, you think a sight of that young man.” 

“ Well, I do. I’m not going to deny it. I’m going up- 
stairs to see him now.” 


272 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XLIV. 

AT THE SOUND OF THE CLOCK. 

She left the room, tripping lightly upstairs in her neat 
nurse’s dress. When she got to Wyndham’s door and 
knocked gently for admission her heart, however, was beat- 
ing so wildly that she feared he might notice it. 

“ Come in,” said his voice ; she entered. 

He was lying back in his easy-chair. When he saw 
Esther he took off the soft hat which he always wore in 
Cherry’s presence, and greeted her with that brightness in 
his eyes which was the greatest reward he could possibly 
offer her. 

“You are a little late,” he said; “ but I thought you 
would not fail me.” 

“ I won’t ever fail you, Mr. Wyndham ; you know that.” 

“ Esther, it is safer to call me Brother Jerome.” 

“ Not. at the present moment. The house is empty but 
for my father. Still, if you wish it, sir.” 

“ I think I do wish it. A habit is a habit. The name 
may slip out at a wrong moment, and then — my God, think 
what would happen then ! ” 

“ Don’t excite yourself, sir. Esther Helps is never 
likely to forget herself. Still I see the sense of your wishes. 
You are Brother Jerome to me always from this out. And 
now, before I go any further, I want to state a fact. Brother 
Jerome, you are ill.” 

“ I am ill, Esther. Ill, nigh unto death.” 

“ My God, you shan’t die ! ” 

“ Hush ; the- question of dying does not rest with you 
or me. I want to die, so probably I shall live.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


273 


*• You look like dying. Does Cherry feed you well ? ” 
lt Better than well. I want for nothing.” 

“ Is your fire kept up all night ? ” 

“ Esther, I have not come to requiring a night nurse yet. 
My fire goes out in the early hours before the dawn.” 

“The coldest part of the twenty-four hours. Brother 
Jerome, you must give up visiting in East London at 
present.” 

“ No, not while I can crawl. You forget that on a 
certain night I surrendered my body as well as my spirit 
to the service of comfort. While I can comfort others I will. 
There is nothing else left to me.” 

li Then, sir, you will die — you will deliberately kill your- 
self.” 

“ No, I tried that once. I won’t again. Esther, what is 
the matter ? You are a good girl. It is a mistake for you 
to waste your pity on me.” 

“ You must forgive me, sir. Pity comes to one unbid- 
den. Pity — and — and sympathy. If you get worse, I shall 
leave my situation and come home and nurse you.” 

“ Then you will indeed kill me. You will take away my 
last hope. My one goblet of new wine will be denied me. 
Then I shall truly die. Esther, what is your budget of news ? 
How is my wife ? Begin — go on — tell me everything.” 
u Mrs. Wyndham is well, sir.” 

tl Well ? Do you mean by that that she is happy? Does 
she laugh much ? Does she sing? ” 

“ Sometimes she laughs. Once I heard her sing.” 
u Only once, Esther ? She had a very sweet voice. I 
used sometimes to tell her that it was never silent.” 

“ Once, sir, I heard her sing.” 

“ Oh, once ? Was it a cheerful song ? ” 

“ It was on a Sunday evening. She was singing to your 
little boy. I think she sang the * Happy Land.’ I don’t 
quite remember. I came to fetch the boy to bed, and she 

18 


274 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


was singing to him. She took her hands off the piano 
suddenly when I came in, and there were tears in her eyes.” 

“ Tears ? She was always sensitive to music. And yet 
you say she does not look sad.” 

“ I should not call her sad, Brother Jerome. Her face 
is calm and quiet. I think she is a very good young lady.” 

“You need not tell me that, Esther ; you managed very 
well about the boy.” 

“ Thank you, sir. I think I did. What did you feel 
when you saw him, sir ? ” 

“ Rapture. All my blood flowed swiftly. I lived and 
breathed. I had an exquisite five minutes.” 

“ The boy is not like his mother, sir.” 

“ No, nor like me. He resembles my sister Lilias. 
Esther, I must see him again.” 

“ You shall, by-and-bye, but not too soon. We must 
not run any risks.” 

“ Certainly not. I will have much patience. Hold out 
the hope only, and I will cling to it indefinitely.” 

“ You shall see the child again, Brother Jerome.” 

“ God abundantly bless you. Now go on. Tell me more. 
How does my wife spend her time? Has she many 
visitors ? ” 

“ Sometimes her father.” 

“ Only sometimes ? They used to be inseparable.” 

“ Not now, sir. There is something wrong between 
them. When they meet they are constrained with one 
another, and they don’t meet very often. I have orders, 
though, to take the child every morning to see Mr. Paget.” 

“ Have you ? I am sorry for that. He kisses my son, 
does he ? ” 

“Yes, sir. He seems wrapped up in him ; he ” 

“ Don’t talk of him. That subject turns my blood into 
vinegar. Go on. Tell me more. What other visitor has 
my wife ? 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


275 


“ Sometimes your sister, Miss Lilias Wyndham.” 

“ My sister ? Esther, you don’t know what that name 
recalls. All the old innocent days ; the little hymns before 
we went to bed, and the little prayers at our mother’s knee. 
I don’t think I can bear to hear much about Lilias ; but I 
am glad she loves my wife.” 

“ She does, sir. She is devoted to Mrs. Wyndham. I don’t 
think any other visitors come except Mr. Carr.” 

“ Adrian Carr, a clergyman ? ” 

Wyndham’s tone had suddenly become alert and wake- 
ful. 

“ I believe the gentleman’s name is the Rev. Adrian Carr, 
Brother Jerome.” 

“ Why do you speak in that guarded voice, Esther ? 
Have you anything to conceal ? ” 

“ No, sir, no. Don’t excite yourself. I conceal nothing ; 
he comes, that is all.” 

“ But surely, not often ? He is my father’s curate ; he 
cannot often come to London.” 

“ He is not Mr. Wyndham’s curate now, sir ; he has a 
church of his own, St. Jude’s they call it, at the corner of 
Butler-street.” 

“ And he comes constantly to my house ? To — to see 
my wife ? ” 

“ Your — your widow, sir.” 

“ God help me, Esther ! God help me ! How am I 
to endure this ! My poor — my beloved — my sweet — and 
are you exposed to this ? Esther, Esther, this care turns 
me into a madman.” 

“ You must stay quiet, Brother Jerome. Mr. Carr comes, 
and your — your widow sees him.” 

“ Do you think she likes him ? ” 

“ Oh, sir, I would rather die than have to tell it to you.” 

“ 1 cannot listen to your sentimentalisms. Does my wife 
seem happy when Adrian Carr calls upon her ? ” 


276 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ I think she is interested in him, Brother Jerome.’’ 

“ Does she see him alone ? ” 

“ Often alone.” 

“ And you say she seems pleased ? ” 

“ I think so. It is incomprehensible to me.” 

“ Never mind whether you understand it or not. Do 
you know that by this news you are turning me into a 
devil? I’ll risk everything — everything. I’ll expose the 
whole vile conspiracy if my wife is entrapped into engaging 
herself to Adrian Carr.” 

Brother Jerome was no longer a weak-looking invalid ; 
he began to pace his attic floor ; a fire burnt in his sunken 
eyes, and he clenched his thin hands. For the time he was 
strong. 

“ Listen to me, Esther Helps. My wife shall run no risk 
of that kind. It was in the contract that that should be 
prevented. I sinned for her — yes, I willingly sinned for 
her — but she shall never sin for me. Rather than that we’ll 
all go to penal servitude. I, and your father, and her 
father.” 

“ Do quiet yourself, Mr. Wyndham. There may be 
nothing in what I told you.” 

Esther felt really frightened. 

“ Perhaps the gentleman comes to see your sister, Miss 
Wyndham. He certainly comes, but — but ” 

“ Esther, the whole thing must be put a stop to — the faint- 
est shadow of risk must not be run. My wife thinks herself 
a widow, but she must retain the feelings of a wife. It must 
be impossible for her, while I live, to think of another 
man.” 

“ Can you not bring yourself back to her memory, sir ? 
Is there no way? ” 

“ That is a good thought. Don’t speak for a little. Let 
me think.” 

Wyndham continued to pace the floor. Esther softly 
built up the fire with trembling fingers. In this mood she 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


277 


was afraid of Wyndham. That fire in his eyes was new to 
her. She was cowed — she shivered. With her mental 
vision she already saw her grey-headed father in the pri- 
soner’s dock. 

“ Esther,” said Wyndham, coming up to her suddenly, 
“ I have thought of a plan. It won’t implicate anyone, 
and if a chord in Valentine’s heart still beats true to me 
this must touch it. At what hour does Carr generally call 
to see my wife ? ” 

“ He is a busy man ; he comes mostly at night, about 
nine o’clock, fie has a cup of tea, and goes away at ten. 
When Miss Wyndham is there he sometimes stays on till 
nearly eleven.” 

“ He comes every night ? ” 

“ Almost every night.” 

“ And he leaves at ten? ” 

“ A few minutes after ten. When the clock strikes ten 
it seems to be a sort of a signal to him, and he gets up and 
goes away.” 

“ Thank you. Ten, then, will be the hour. Esther, some- 
thing else may happen at ten of the clock. You need not 
look so white. I said no risk would be run. It is possible, 
however, that my wife may be agitated. No, you don’t 
suppose I am going to reveal myself to her — nothing of the 
sort. Still, something will happen which may break down 
her nerve and her calm. In that case she may even appeal 
to you, Esther, you will be very guarded. You must re- 
member that on the success of this scheme of mine depends 
your father’s safety, for if she engages herself to Carr I 
swear by the God above me that we three, Paget, your 
father, and I, go to prison.” 

• “ Sir, I must own that I feel dreadfully frightened.” 

“ Poor Esther ! And you don’t deserve it, for you are 
the best of girls and quite innocent. But that is ever the 
way. The innocent bear the sins of the guilty. In this 


278 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


matter, however, Esther, you must trust me, and keep your 
own counsel. Now, I want to know if you have any money 
you can lend me ? ” 

“ 1 have two sovereigns in my purse, sir. Will that 
do?” 

“ Plentifully. I will tell you what I want the money 
for. I want to hire a violin — a good one. Once, Esther, 
I used to express my feelings through the violin. It talked 
for me. It revealed some of the tortures of my soul. The 
violin shall speak again and to my wife, Now you are pre- 
pared at all points. Good-bye. Be as brave as you are 
good, and the worst may be averted.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


27$ 


CHAPTER XLV. 

On the following night, as Esther was preparing to go to 
bed, the nursery door was suddenly opened and Mrs. 
Wyndham entered. 

“ Esther,” she said, “ I want baby.” 

“ He is sound asleep, madam. You would not wake 
him ? ” 

“ He can be moved without disturbing him. I want 
him to sleep in my bed. I want his company. My little 
child ? ” 

She was trembling. She caught hold of the rails of the 
baby’s cot. 

“ Little children are sacred innocent things, aren’t they, 
nurse? I want my little child to-night.” 

“ Strange,” thought Esther. “ I listened with all my 
might, and I could not hear anything except the usual 
barrel organs and German bands in the street. But she 
has heard something, there isn’t a doubt. How queer and 
shaken she looks. Poor young thing, I do pity her ; she 
can’t help thinking she is a widow when she is a wife.” 

Aloud Esther complied with Mrs. Wyndham’s request 
cheerfully, 

“ Certainly, madam. The child will never know that 
we are moving him. If you will go on to your room, 
ma’am, I’ll follow with master baby.” 

Mrs. Wyndham turned away at once. 

When the nurse entered her mistress’ room with the 
child, there was a soft nest made in the big bed to receive 
him, and the fire in the grate cast a cheerful glow over 
everything. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


280 

“ Let me kiss him,” said the mother. “ My darling, my 
beloved. I’ll take him into my arms presently, nurse, and 
then all fears will fly away.’’ 

“ Fears, Mrs. Wyndham ? No one ought to fear in this 
cheerful room.” 

“ Perhaps not, nurse ; but sometimes I am superstitious 
— painfully so. Yes, put baby there. Is he not a hand- 
some boy ? Although I could wish he were more like his 
father.” 

“ He seems to feature your sister-in law, Miss Lilias 
Wyndham, madam.” 

“ How queer that you should find that out ! He is not 
like what Lilias is now, but they all say she was just such 
another little child. Nurse, I hate high winds — there is 
going to be a storm to-night.” 

“ Would you like me to sleep on the sofa in your room, 
madam ? ” 

“ Yes, no— yes, oh, yes.” 

“ I will bring a shawl, and wrap it round me and lie 
down.” 

“ No, don’t, nurse, don’t. I must not yield to this name- 
less thing. I must — I will be brave. And the child, my 
own little child, will comfort me.” 

“ What is the nameless thing, dear madam ? ” 

<£ I cannot — I won’t speak of it. Esther, are you — are 
you going ? ” 

“ Certainly not, Mrs. Wyndham. I mean, not yet.” 

“ That is right. Take this chair ; warm yourself. Esther, 
I don’t look on you as an ordinary nurse. Long ago I 
used to be so much interested in you.” 

“ It was very kind of you, madam ; young ladies, as a 
rule, have no time to interest themselves in poor girls.” 

“ But I had plenty of time, and did interest myself. My 
father was always so much attached to yours. I was an only 
child, and you were an only child. I used to wonder if 


A LIFE FOE A LOVE. 


281 

you and your father cared for each other as passionately, 
as loyally, as I and my father cared.” 

“I don't know that, madam; we did love each other. 
Our love remains unchanged. True love ought never to 
change, ought it ? ” 

iC It ought never to change,” repeated Mrs. Wyndham. 
Her face grew white, her lips trembled. “ Sometimes true 
love is killed by a blow,” she said suddenly. Then her 
expression changed again, she tried to look cheerful. “ I 
won’t talk any more. I am sleepy, and that nest near 
baby looks inviting. Good-night, dear nurse.” 

“ Let me undress you, ma’am. Let me see you in your 
nest beside the child.” 

“ No. Go now. Or rather — rather — stay a mometit or 
two longer. Esther, had you ever the heartache ? ” 

“ There are a few women, madam, who don’t know what 
the heartache means.” 

“ I suppose that is true. Once I knew nothing about it. 
Esther, you are lucky never to have married.” 

Esther Helps made no response. 

“ To marry — to love — and then to lose,” dreamily 
murmured Mrs. Wyndham. “ To love, and then to lose. 
Esther, it is a dreadful thing to be a widow when you are 
young.” 

“ But the widow can become a wife again,” suddenly re- 
plied Esther. 

The words seemed forced from her lips ; she was sorry 
the moment she had uttered them. 

Mrs. Wyndham opened her big eyes wide. 

“ I suppose the widows who can become wives again 
have not lost much,” she responded in a cold voice. 

Then she moved over to the bedside and began to un- 
dress. 

A few moments later Esther left her. She felt puzzled, 
perplexed, unhappy. She had no key to the thoughts which 


282 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


were passing in her mistress’ mind. Her impression was 
that Valentine loved Carr, but felt a certain shame at the 
fact. 

The next evening the vicar of St. Jude’s called again. 
He came hurriedly to the door, ran up the stairs without 
being shown the way, and entered Valentine’s presence 
with a brisk step. Esther leant over the banisters to watch 
him as he entered the drawing-room. It was half-past nine 
when he arrived ; he had been conducting a prayer meeting 
and was later than usual. 

The drawing-room door was shut on the two, and Esther, 
who had been sitting with the child, now crept softly 
downstairs and entered a small bed-room at the back of 
the drawing-room. This bed-room also looked on the 
street. It was the room occupied by Lilias when she visited 
her sister-in-law. Esther closed the door softly behind her. 
The room was dark. She went up to the window and look- 
ed eagerly up and down the gaily-lighted street. 

She could distinguish no words, but the soft murmur of 
voices came to her through the drawing-room wall. 

“ You are better to-night ? ” said Carr, in a cheery, con- 
fident tone ; “ although you took it upon yourself to disobey 
me.” 

“,I could not go to the prayer-meeting. I could not.” 

“Well, well, you must act as you think best; only I 
don’t think staying at home is the best thing for you.” 

“ Oh, I shan’t get over-nervous ; and Lilias is coming to 
me next week.” 

Carr’s eyes brightened. 

“ That is good,” he said. “ Well, I must not stay. I 
just looked in for a moment. I knew you would not let 
these superstitious fears get the better of you. Good- 
night.” 

He held out his hand. Valentine put hers behind her. 

“No,” she said ; “you always stay until past ten. It 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 283 

was at ten o’clock last night ” She trembled — more 

words would not come. 

“ And I will stay until past ten to-night,” responded Carr 
resuming his seat. “ Now, don’t look at the clock. Turn 
your thoughts to me and my affairs. So Miss Wyndham 
comes here next week ? ” 

“ She does.” 

11 Shall I put everything to the test, then ? ” 

Valentine’s face grew bright. 

“ Oh how earnestly I wish you would,” she cried, clasp- 
ing her hands. 

“ Do you, indeed ? Then you must think there is some 
chance for me. The fact is, Mrs. Wyndham, I am the 
veriest coward that ever breathed. If I win, I win for ever. 
I mean that I am made, body, soul, and spirit. If I lose, I 
think morally I shall go under. A main spring will be 
broken which has kept me right, kept my eyes looking 
upwards ever since I knew your sister Lilias.” 

“ But even if she refuses you, you will live on,” said Va- 
lentine, in a dreamy voice. “ We often have to live on 
when the main spring is broken. We creep instead of run- 
ning, that is all.” 

11 Now you are getting gloomy again. As your spiritual 
adviser I cannot permit it. You have put a daring thought 
into my head, and you are bound to think of me, not your- 
self, at present. Will you sing something to me before I 
go ? You know Lilias’ song of triumph ; you taught it to 
her. Sing it to me to-night, it will be a good omen.” 

Valentine hesitated for a moment. Then she went over 
to the piano and opened it. Her fingers touched one or 
two chords tremblingly. Suddenly she stopped, her face 
worked. She looked at Carr with a piteous expression. 

“ I cannot sing the triumph song,” she said, “ it is not 
in me. I should do it no justice. This must take its place. 
But it is not for you, remember. Oh, no, I pray God never 
for you. Listen, don’t scold me afterwards. Listen.” 


284 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


Her fingers ran over the keys, her voice swelled and filled 
the room : — 

<c The murmur of the mourning ghost 
That keeps the shadowy kine. 

Oh, Keith of Ravelston, 

The sorrows of thy line ! 

Ravelston, Ravelston, 

The merry path that leads 
Down the golden morning hill, 

And through the silver meads, 

Ravelston, Ravelston, 

The stile beneath the tree. 

The maid that kept her mother’s kine, 

The song that sang she. 

She sang her song, she kept her kine. 

She sat beneath the thorn, 

When Andrew Keith of Ravelston 
Rode through the Monday mom. 

His henchmen sing, his hawk bells ring. 

His belted jewels shine — 

O, Keith of Ravelston, 

The sorrows of thy line ! ” 

“Now, good-night,” said Valentine, springing to her 
feet. “ Don’t question me about the song. I sang it, but 
I cannot speak of it. The clock is about to strike. It is 
your hour for farewell. Oh, yes, I wish you all luck — all 

luck. The clock is striking ! Oh, what a noise there 

is in the street ! ” 

“ What a silence you mean,” said Carr, as he took her 
hand. 

It was true. The thunderous rattle of a heavy waggon, 
the discordant notes of a brass band, the din of a hurdy- 
gurdy frightfully out of tune, suddenly stopped. It was as 
if a wave of sound had been arrested, and in the quiet 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


285 


floated up the passionate wail of a soul. There are no 
other words to describe what the sound meant. It had a 
voice and an interpretation. It was beautiful, but its 
beauty was torture. Trembling in every limb, Valentine 
sprang away from Carr, flew to one of the French windows, 
wrested it open, and stepped on to the balcony. She was 
in white, and the people in the street could see her. She 
pressed to the front of the balcony and looked eagerly up 
and down. 

The wailing of the lost soul grew more feeble — more 
faint. It stopped. There was a pause of half a minute, 
and then the waggon lumbered on, and the hurdy-gurdy 
crashed out its discordant notes. 

“I . saw nothing,” said Carr, who had followed Mrs. 
Wyndham on to the balcony and now led her back to the 
drawing-room. “ I saw nothing,” he repeated. “ I mean, 
I did not see the man who played.” 

“ But you heard?” 

“ Oh, yes, I heard.” 

“You could not see. That was spirit music. My hus- 
band played. Don’t speak to me ; don’t touch me ; you 
tried to argue me out of my belief last night, but even^z* 
heard to-night. My husband has come back in the spirit, 
and he has played for me. Only he knows that air — only 
he in all the world. That was ‘ Waves.’ Once I told you 
the story of ‘ Music waves.’ ” 

She did not faint, she crouched down by the fire ; but 
no face to be alive could be whiter than hers. 

“ What is the matter, Mr. Carr ? ” she said suddenly. 
“ Why cannot my husband’s spirit rest ? They say that 
those spirits that are hurried out of life before their time 
cannot rest. O, tell me what you think. O, tell me what 
it means. You heard the music yourself to-night.” 

“ I did. I certainly heard it.” 

“ And at the same hour. When the clock struck.” 


286 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ That is a mere coincidence, not worth considering.’* 

“ I don’t believe in its being a coincidence.” 

She beat her hands passionately together. 

“ The thing was planned — he planned it. He will come 
again to-morrow night when the clock strikes ten.” 

Again she beat her hands together ; then she covered her 
face with them. 

Carr looked at her anxiously. The weird soft wailing 
music had affected even his nerves. Of course he did not 
believe in the supernatural element, but he was touched by 
the distress of the woman who was crouching at his feet. 
This mental unrest, this superstitious terror, might have a 
disastrous effect. He must do his utmost to check it. If 
necessary he must even be cruel to be kind. 

“Mrs. Wyndham,” he said, “you must go away to- 
morrow ; you must go into the country for a few days.” 

“ I will not. I won’t stir a step.” 

“ You ought, your nerves are shaken. There is nothing 
for shaken nerves like change of air. Go to Jewsbury-on- 
the-Wold, and talk to Lilias. She, too, loved your husband ; 
she will sympathize, but she will not lose sight of common- 
sense.” 

“ I will not stir from here.” 

“ I think for your child’s sake you ought. The child 
belongs to your husband as well as you, to your dead 
husband. The child is fatherless as far as this world is 
concerned. You have no right — it is very, very wicked of 
you to do anything to make him motherless.” 

“ What do you mean ? Why do you speak to me in that 
tone ? I don’t deserve it.” 

“ You do.” 

“ I think you are cruel.” 

Valentine’s eyes filled with sudden tears. 

“ What do you mean by saying that I will leave baby 
motherless ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


287 


“ 1 mean that if you encourage the fancy which has now 
taken possession of you you are extremely likely to loose 
your senses — to become, in short, insane. How can you 
train your child if you are insane ? ” 

Valentine shuddered. 

“ But I did hear the music,” she said. “ The old story 
music that he only played. How can I doubt the evidence 
of my senses ? Last night at ten o’clock I heard ‘ Waves * 
played on the violin, my husband’s favorite instrument — 
the melody which he made, the harmony and melody with 
all the passion and its story, which he made about himself 
and me. No one else could produce those sounds. I 
heard them last night at ten o’clock, you were here, but 
you heard nothing. To-night there was silence in the 
street, and we both heard — we both heard.” 

“ I certainly heard some very melancholy music.” 

“ Played on the violin ? ” 

“ Yes, played on the violin.” 

a In short, you heard ‘Waves.’ ” 

“ I heard something which I never heard before. I can- 
not tell the name.” 

“ No. What you heard was ‘ Waves,’ in other words 
the cry of a soul.” 

u Mrs. Wyndham, get up. Give me your hand. Look 
me in the face. Now, that is better. I am going to talk 
common-sense to you. You have been from the first im- 
pressed with the idea that foul play was done to your 
husband. For a time I own I shared your apprehension. 
I discovered one or two things in connection with his 
death which far more than your words inclined me to this 
belief. Since I came to London I have thought a great 
deal over the matter. Last week a lucky chance brought 
me in communication with Captain Jelly by of the Espe- 
rance. Ah, you start. I saw him. I think you would 
like me to bring him here some night. He entered intp 


288 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


minute particulars of Wyndham’s last days. He would 
like to tell you the story himself. I can only say that a 
fairer story could not be recorded of any man. He was 
beloved by every one on board the ship. ‘ We all loved 
him,’ said Captain Jellyby. ‘ Emigrants, passengers, sail- 
ors, all alike. Sir,’ he said, ‘ when Mr. Wyndham was 
washed over, there wasn’t a dry eye on board. But if ever 
a man humbly and cheerfully went forth to meet his Crea- 
tor, he was the man, sir. He met his death trying to help 
the man at the wheel. Bless his heart, he spent all his life 
trying to help other people.’ ” 

Valentine was silently crying. 

“You comfort me,” she said ; “you comfort me much. 
Go. on.” 

“ That is all, my dear friend, that is all. It set my mind 
at rest with regard to your husband. It ought to set yours 
at rest also. He is a glorious and happy spirit in heaven 
now. Is it likely that he would come back from there to 
frighten you for no object or purpose? No, you must 
dismiss the idea from your mind.” 

“ But the music — the unearthly music.” 

“ Played by a strolling musician with a talent for the 
thing. That was all.” 

“ His air and mine — ‘ Waves.’ The air that no one else 
knew, that was never written down.” 

11 You imagined the likeness to the air you mention. 
Our imaginations play strange tricks with us. The air 
played to-night was of a very minor character, and had 
notes in common with the one your husband composed. 
Hence a fleeting resemblance. It is more natural and in 
accordance with sense to believe this than to suppose that 
your husband came back from heaven to torture you. Now, 
good-night. You are good. You will try and be brave. 
I ask you to be brave for the sake of your noble husband’s 
child.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


289 


CHAPTER XLVI. 

As Carr was leaving the house he came across Esther, 
who, very white, but with a resolute look on her face, met 
him on the stairs. 

“ How is my mistress, sir ? ” 

Carr felt nettled at her tone. 

“ Why do you ask ? ” he said shortly ; “ when last you 
saw her I presume she was well.” 

“ No, sir.” 

“ No ? ” 

Carr paused. He gave Esther a quick piercing look, 
and his manner changed. Her face was strong, it could be 
relied on. 

“You are the little boy’s nurse, are you not? ” 

“ I am, Mr. Carr.” 

“ And you are attached to your mistress ? ” 

Esther hesitated. 

“ I — I am,” she said, but her voice trembled. 

“ Mrs. Wyndham wants some one who can be kind and 
sympathetic near her. Some one who can be tactful, and 
full of common-sense. Her nerves are greatly shaken. 
For instance she was much agitated at some music she 
heard in the street to-night.” 

“ I heard it, sir. I was surprised. It wasn’t like ordi- 
nary music.” 

“ Oh, you thought so, did you ? For heaven’s sake 
don’t repeat your thoughts to Mrs. Wyndham. You look 
a sensible young woman.” 

Esther dropped a curtsey. 

“ I hope I am,” she said in a demure voice. 

19 


290 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ Has your mistress a maid — a maid she likes ? ” 

“ No. I render her what little services are necessary.” 

“ Can you stay in her room to-night ? She ought not to 
be alone.” 

“ I will sleep on the sofa in my mistress’ room.” 

“That is right. Don’t allude to the music in the street 
if you can help it.” 

Carr ran downstairs and went away, and Esther, slowly 
and hesitatingly, entered the drawing-room. 

Mrs. Wyndham was standing with her two arms clasped 
round her husband’s violin. The tears were raining from 
her eyes. Before she could disengage herself Esther saw 
the action, and a queer pang, half of pleasure, half of pain, 
shot through her. She saw at a glance that Gerald Wynd- 
ham’s wife cared for no one but her husband. She stepped 
across the room quickly, and without any thought of the 
familiarity of the action put her hand through her mistress’ 
arm, and led her towards the door. 

“ Come,” she said, “ you are tired and weak. Master 
baby is in his nest, and he wants you. Come, I am going 
to put you to bed.” 

Valentine raised no objection. She was trembling and 
cold. The tears were undried on her cheeks ; the look of 
infinite pathetic patience in her eyes almost crushed Esther 
Helps. 

“ What a fool I was to suppose she didn’t love her hus- 
band,” she murmured. “ As if any woman could be much 
with him and not love him. lucky Mrs. Wyndham — 
notwithstanding all your sorrow you are the woman I envy 
most on earth.” 

Valentine did not object to her maid’s attentions. She 
felt shaken and worn out, and was glad passively to sub- 
mit. When she was in bed she spoke for the first time. 

“ Esther, get a shawl, and lie here, outside the clothes. 
It comforts me to have you near.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


291 


Esther obeyed without any comment. She wrapped a 
thick shawl around her, and lay down near the edge of the 
big bed. Valentine took her little rosy boy into her arms. 

“ Now you must go to sleep, Mrs. Wyndham,” said the 
maid, and she resolutely shut her own dark eyes. 

For an hour she lay motionless, every nerve keenly 
awake, and on tension. For an hour she never lifted her 
eyelids. At the end of that time she opened them, and 
glanced at her mistress. Valentine was lying as still as if 
she were carved in marble. Her eyes were wide open. 
They were looking straight before her out into the big 
room. She scarcely seemed to breathe, and never saw 
Esther when she glanced at her. 

“ This won’t do,” thought the maid. “ Poor little soul, 
she has got an awful shock. She will be very ill if I don’t 
do something to rouse and interest her. I know she 
loves her husband — I will speak of him.” 

Esther moved on purpose somewhat aggressively. Val- 
entine’s wide-open eyes never flinched or changed their 
expression. The maid touched her mistress on the 
shoulder. 

“ This isn’t good of you,” she said ; “ you ought to be 
asleep.” 

Valentine started and shivered violently. 

11 1 thought I was asleep,” she said. “ At any rate I was 
far away.” 

“ When people sleep they shut their eyes,” quoth 
Esther. 

“ Were mine open ? I did not know it. I was looking 
at a picture — a picture in real life. It was lovely.” 

“ I like beautiful pictures,” said Esther. “ Tell me what 
you saw.” 

By this time these two women had forgotten the relative 
positions they bore to each other. Valentine observed 
no familiarity in Esther’s tone. Esther spoke and thought 


292 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


as though she were Valentine’s social equal. She knew 
she was above her mentally just then ; it was necessary 
for her to take the lead. 

“Tell me what you saw, madam,” she said. “ Describe 
your beautiful picture.” 

Valentine obeyed with the docility of a child. 

“ It was a seaside picture,” she began. “ The sun was 
setting, and there was a path of light across the waters. 
The path seemed to go right up into the sky, and melt, 
and end there. And I — I thought of Jacob’s ladder, from 
earth to heaven, and the angels walking up and down. 
On the shore a man and a girl sat. He had his arm round 
her waist ; and she was filling her hands with the warm 
soft sand and letting it dribble away through her fingers. 
She was happy. She felt warm and contented, and pro- 
tected against the whole world. Although she did not 
know that she loved it so much, it was the arm that 
encircled her that gave her that feeling.” 

Valentine stopped suddenly. 

“ That was a pretty picture, madam,” said Esther. “ A 
pretty picture, and you described it well. I suppose the 
gentleman was the girl’s lover or husband.” 

“ Her lover and husband in one. They were married. 
They sat like that once during their honeymoon. Presently 
he, the husband, took up his violin, which he had beside 
him, and began to play.” 

“ Don’t go into the music part, please, Mrs. Wyndham, 
I want just to keep to the picture alone. I want to guess 
something. I am good at guessing. You were the happy 
young girl.” 

“ I was ; oh, I was.” 

“ And the gentleman was your husband ; yes, your 
husband, whom you dearly loved.” 

“ Don’t talk of him, he is lost, gone. Esther, I’m a 
miserable, miserable woman.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 293 

Her icy quiet was broken up. Long-drawn sobs escaped 
her ; she shivered as she wept. 

“ It is an awful thing to love too late — to love too late,” 
she moaned. 

“ Madam, I’m going to give you some sal-volatile and 
water : when you have taken it you shall tell me the whole 
story from first to last. Yes, you had better ; you have 
said too much or too little. I may be able to comfort you 
if I know all.” 

Esther administered the restorative. When the distress- 
ful sobs were quieted, and Mrs. Wyndham lay back 
exhausted on her pillow, she took her hand, and said with 
infinite tact and tenderness : — 

“You love him you have lost very deeply. Is that not 
so?” 

u Beyond words to describe.” 

“ You were young when you were married, Mrs. Wynd- 
ham ; you are a very young woman still. Perhaps, as a 
young girl, as almost a child-girl, you did not know what 
great love meant.” 

“ I always knew what great love meant. As a little girl 
I used to idolize my father. I remember when I was very 
young, not much older than baby here, lying down on the 
floor and kissing the carpet over which his steps had walked. 
I used to steal into his study and sit like a mouse ; perfectly 
happy while I was watching him. When I saw his face 
that was bliss ; when he took me in his arms I thought 
Heaven could give me no more. You are an only child, 
Esther Helps. Did you feel like that for your father ? ” 

“ No, madam, I always loved my father after a quiet 
fashion ; I love him after a quiet fashion still. That kind 
of intense love I did not know. And you feel it still for 
Mr. Paget ? I suppose it is natural. He is a handsome 
gentleman ; he has a way about him that attracts people. 
For instance, my father would do anything for him. It is 


294 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


still bliss to you, Mrs. Wyndham, to watch your father’s 
face.” 

“ Come near to me, Esther ; let me whisper to you. 
That love which I thought unquenchable is — dead ! ” 

“ Madam, you astonish me ! Dead ? ” 

“It died, Esther Helps, on the morning my husband 
sailed away.” 

“ Then you only love your husband now ? ” 

“ I love many people. For instance, this little child ; 
for instance, my sister Lilias. What I feel for my husband 
is high above all these things. I cannot describe it. It 
lies here — in my heart — and my heart aches, and aches.” 

“ It would make Mr. Wyndham very happy to hear 
you,” said Esther. 

Her words were unguarded. Valentine began to sob 
feebly. 

“ He can never hear me,” she said. “That is the dread- 
ful part. I loved him when we were married, but I did 
not know it. Then the knowledge came to me, and I was 
so happy. One evening I told him so. I said, ‘ I love 
you ! ’ I shall never forget his face. Often he was sad, 
but his face seemed to shine when I said those words, and 
he took me in his arms, and I saw a little way into the 
depth of his great heart. Soon after that something hap- 
pened — I am not going to tell it, it doesn’t matter — please 
don’t hold my hand, Esther. It is very queer that you 
should be with me to-night.” 

“ Why, dear madam ? Don’t you like to have me with 
you ? ” 

“ I think I do. I really quite think I do. Still it is 
strange that you should be here.” 

“ Your story interests me wonderfully, Mrs. Wyndham. 
Will you tell me more ? ” 

“ There is not a great deal to tell. Fora time I misun- 
derstood my husband, and the love which really filled my 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


29 $ 

heart seemed to go back and back and back like the 
waves when the tide is going out. Then the time came 
for him to go to Sydney. He could not say good-bye ; he 
wrote good-bye. He said a strange thing in the middle of 
the letter ; he asked me if I really loved him to join him the 
next morning on board the Esperance. Loved him ! Of 
course I loved him ! I was so relieved. Everything was 
made clear to me. He was first — all others everywhere 
were second. My father came in, and I told him what I 
meant to do. He was angry, and tried to dissuade me. 
When he saw that I would not yield he appeared to 
consent, and promised go with me the next morning to 
Southampton. The Esperance was not to sail until noon. 
There seemed lots of time. Still, for the first time, I began 
to doubt my father. I determined not to wait for the train 
he had arranged to travel by with me, but to go down by 
a much earlier one. I went to Southampton with a Ger- 
man maid I had at the time. We arrived there at eight in 
the morning, we reached the docks soon after nine, the 
Esperance was away — she had sailed at eight. Don’t ques- 
tion me about that day, Esther Helps. It was on that day 
my love for my father died.” 


296 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER XLVII. 

It was nearly morning before Mrs. Wyndham fell asleep. 
Before then, Esther had said a good deal. 

“ I am not surprise^ at your loving your husband,” she 
began. “ Men like your husband are worth loving. They 
are loyal, true, and noble. They make the world a better 
place. Once your husband helped me. I am going to 
tell you the story. 

“ Three years ago, Mrs. Wyndham, I was a very different 
girl from the one who now is by your side. I was hand- 
some, and vain, and empty-headed. I thought most of 
dress and of flirting. I had the silliest form of ambition. I 
wanted to be a gentleman’s wife. My mother had been a 
lady by birth, and I thought it was only due to me to be 
the same. My only chance of becoming a lady was by 
marrying a gentleman, and I thought surely someone would 
be found who would make me his wife for the sake of my 
handsome face. I had nothing else to recommend me, 
Mrs. Wyndham, for I was empty-headed and untrained, and 
I had a shallow, vulgar soul. 

“ One day I was skating in Regent’s Park with some 
friends. I fell on the ice and hurt my foot. A gentleman 
picked me up. I looked into his face in the bold way I 
had, and then all of a sudden I felt ashamed of myself, and 
I looked down, and a modest, humble womanly feeling 
crept over me. The gentleman was your husband, Mr. 
Wyndham ; the expression on his face impressed me, and 
I could not forget it. He came to our house that evening 
and brought a book to my father, and a present of flowers 
from you to me. I felt quite silent and queer when he was 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


* 97 


in the room ; I did not talk, but I listened to every word 
he said. He was so uncommon. I thought what a clergy- 
man he’d make, and how, if he were as eloquent in his 
words as in his looks, he might make us all good in spite 
of ourselves. He made a great impression on me, and I did 
not like to think my low silly thoughts after he had gone. 

“ Soon afterwards I made the acquaintance of a Captain 
Herriot, in the — th Hussars ; he was a very fine gentleman, 
and had very fine words, and although I did not love him a 
bit nor a scrap, he turned my head with his flattery. He 
did go on about my face — I don’t know how I ever was 
goose enough to believe him. He managed to get my 
secrets out of me though, and when I told him that I meant 
to be a gentleman’s wife some day, he said that he was the 
gentleman, and that I should marry him, and him alone. I 
thought that would be fine, and I believed him. He made 
all arrangements — oh, how I hate to think of what I after- 
wards saw was his real meaning. 

“ I was not to let out a thing to my father, and on a cer- 
tain night we were to go together to the Gaiety, and he was 
to take me home afterwards, and the next morning we were 
to go to church and be married. He showed me the 
license and the ring, and I believed everything, and thought 
it would be fine to be the wife of Captain Herriot. 

“ I kept my secret from my father, but Cherry, a cousin , 
who lives with us, got some of it out of me, for I was mad 
with vain triumph, and it was indirectly through her that 
I came to be delivered. The night arrived, and I went 
away from my home thinking how proudly I’d come back 
to show myself in a day or two ; and how Cherry would 
open her eyes when I told her I was the wife of Captain 
Herriot, of the — th Hussars. I reached the theatre, and 
Captain Herriot gave me his arm, and led me into the house, 
and we took our places in the stalls. People turned and 
looked at me, and Captain Herriot said it was no wonder, 


2 9 8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


for I was the most beautiful woman in the Gaiety that 
night. 

“ Then the curtain rose, the house was darkened, and 
some one took the empty stall at my other side. I turned 
my head, Mr. Wyndham was sitting near me. He said a 
courteous word or two. I bowed my head ; I could not 
speak. Madam, I did not see that play ; I was there, 
looking on, but I saw nothing. Captain Herriot whispered 
in my ear ; I pushed away from him. Suddenly he was 
horrible to me. I felt like a girl who was placed between 
an angel and a devil. Instantly the mask fell from my 
eyes. Captain Herriot meant to ruin me, never to marry 
me. Mr. Wyndham scarcely said a word to me till the 
play was over, then he spoke. 

“ ‘ Your father wants you/ he said. 1 Here is a cab, 
get into it. I will take you to your father/ 

“ He spoke out, quite loud and clear. I thought Cap- 
tain Herriot would have fought him. Not a bit of it. His 
face turned an ugly color. He took off his hat to me, and 
slunk away through the crowd. That was the last straw. 
He had not even spirit to fight for the girl who thought 
she was about to become his wife. 

“ Mr. Wyndham got on the box of the cab, and took 
me to Mr. Paget’s offices. My old father came out, and 
helped me out of the cab, and put his arms round me. 
He wrung Mr. Wyndham’s hand, and said ‘ God bless you, 
sir ; ’ and then he led me inside, and told me how Cherry 
had betrayed me, and how he (my father) had taken that 
stall ticket intending to sit beside me that night, and give 
Captain Herriot a blow in his face afterwards, as he was 
known to be one of the greatest scoundrels going. Press- 
ing business kept my father at the office that night, and 
Mr. Wyndham promised to go in his place. 

“ ‘ There isn’t another young gentleman who would do 
it,’ said my father. ‘ No not another/ 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


*99 

“ After that, madam, I was changed ; yes, a good bit. 
I thought I’d live more worthy. Mr. Wyndham’s face 
used to come between me and frivolous ways and vain 
sins. It seemed as if his were the hand to lead me up. 
You don’t mind, do you, madam, that he should have 
rescued one poor girl from the pit of destruction, and 
that she should love him — yes, love him for what he has 
done ? ” 

“ Oh, Esther, do I mind ? Come here, Esther, come 
here. Let me put my arms round you. Kiss me. You 
have lifted something from my heart — how much you can 
never know. Esther, I was at the Gaiety that night, and 
I saw my husband with you, and I — I doubted him.” 

“ Madam — you ? ” Esther sprang away — her whole face 
became crimson. 

“ I did, Esther ; and that was when my love went away 

like the tide going out ; but now — now Esther, lie 

down. Let me hold your hand. I am sleepy. I can 
sleep sweetly now.” 


300 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


CHAPTER XLVIII. 

When the wandering minstrel, with his violin under his 
arm, left the neighborhood of Park-lane, he walked with a 
somewhat feeble and faltering step through Grosvenor- 
square and into Bond-street. A few people looked at him 
as he passed, and a hungry-looking girl who was leaning 
against a wall suddenly asked him to play for her. He 
stopped at the sound of her voice and said a word or two. 

“ I am sorry my violin only knows one air, and I have 
played it.” 

“ Can you not play it again ? ” 

“ It is not meant for you, poor girl. Good-night.” 

“Good-night, kind sir. I’ll say a prayer for you if you 
like ; you look miserable enough.” 

The minstrel removed his soft hat, made a gesture of 
thanks, and hurried on. He was going to Queen’s Gate. 
The walk was long, and he was very feeble. He had a few 
coins in his pocket from the change of Esther’s sovereigns ; 
he determined to ride, and mounted on the roof of a Ham- 
mersmith omnibus in Piccadilly. 

By-and-bye he reached his destination, and found him-' 
self in familiar ground. He walked slowly now, hesitating 
— sometimes inclined to turn back. Presently he reached 
a house ; he went up the steps, and took shelter for a 
moment from the biting east winds under the portico. It 
was late, but the lights were still shining in the great man- 
sion. 

He was glad of this ; he could not have done what he 
meant to do except under strong excitement, and sheltered 
by the friendly gas light. He turned and gave the visitor’s 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


301 


bell a full peal. The door was opened almost instantly by 
a liveried footman. 

“ Is Mr. Paget within ? ” 

The man stared. The voice was not only refined, but to 
a certain extent familiar. The voice, oh, yes ; but then 
the figure, the thin, long reed-like figure, slouching forward 
with weakness, buttoned up tight in the seedy frock coat 
whose better days must have been a matter of the very 
distant past. 

“ Is Mr. Paget within ? ” 

The tone was so assured and even peremptory that the 
servant, in spite of himself, was overawed. 

“ I believe so, sir,” he said. 

“ Ask if I can see him.” 

“ Mr. Paget is not very well, sir, and it is late.” 

Ci Asl^ if I can see him.” 

The footman turned a little surly. 

“ I’ll inquire,” he said; “he’s sure to say no, but I’ll 
inquire. Your name, if you please. My master will 
require to know your name.” 

“ I am known as Brother Jerome. Tell your master 
that my business is urgent. Go ; I am in a hurry.” 

“ Rum party, that,” murmured the servant. “ Don’t 
understand him ; don’t like him. All the same, I can’t 
shut the door in his face. He’s the sort of party as has 
seen better days ; ’ope as the umbrellas is safe.” 

Then he walked across the hall and entered his master’s 
study. 

The room, with its old oak and painted glass, and elec- 
tric light, looked the perfection of comfort. The tall, 
white-headed man who sat crushed up in the big arm-chair 
was the envied of many. 

“ If you please, sir,” said the servant. 

“ Yes ; don’t leave the door open. Who were you chat- 
ting to in the hall ? ” 


3°2 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


11 A man who has called, and wants to see you very par- 
ticular, sir.” 

“ I can’t see him.” 

“ He says his name is Brother Jerome.” 

“ I can’t see him. Go away, and shut the door.” 

“ I knew it would be no use,” muttered the footman. 
“ Only he seems a sort of a gentleman, sir, and in trouble 
like.” 

“ I can’t see him. Shut the door and go away ! ” 

“ Yes, you can see me,” said a voice. 

The minstrel walked into the room. 

“ Good heavens ! ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3°3 


CHAPTER XLIX. 

At the sound of his voice the footman fell back as white 
as a sheet. Mr. Paget rose, walked over to him, took him 
by the shoulders, and pushed him out of the room. He 
locked the door behind him. Then he turned, and back- 
ing step by step almost as far as the window, raised his 
hands, and looked at his forbidden visitor with a frozen 
expression of horror. 

Wyndham took his hat off and laid it on the table. Mr. 
Paget raised his hands, covered his face with them, and 
groaned. 

“ Spirit ! ” he said. “ Spirit, why have you come to tor- 
ment me before the time ? ” 

“ I am no spirit,” replied Wyndham, “lama living man 
— a defrauded and injured man — but as much alive as you 
are.” 

“ It is false — don’t touch me — don’t come a step nearer 
— you are dead — you have been dead for the last three 
years. On the 25th April, 18 — , you committed suicide by 
jumping into the sea ; you did it on purpose to revenge 
yourself, and since then you have haunted me, and made 
my life as hell. I always said, Wyndham, you would make 
an awful ghost — you do, you do.” 

“ I am not a ghost,” said Wyndham. “ Touch me, and 
you will see. This wrist and hand are thin enough, but 
they are alive. I fell into the sea, but I was rescued. I 
came to you to-night — I troubled you to-night because you 

have broken our contract, because What is the 

matter? Touch me, you will see I am no ghost.” 

Wyndham came nearer ; Mr. Paget uttered a piercing 
shriek. 


3°4 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ Don’t — don’t ! ” he implored. “ You are a lying 
spirit; you have often lied — often — tome. You want to 
take me with you ; you know if you touch me I shall have 
to go. Don’t — oh, I beseech of you, leave me the little time 
longer that I’ve got to live. Don’t torment me before the 
time.” 

He dropped on his knees ; his streaming white hair fell 
behind him, his hands were raised in supplication. 

“ Don’t,” said Wyndham, terribly distressed. “ You 
have wronged me bitterly, but I, too, am a sinner ; I would 
not willingly hurt mortal on this earth. Get up, don’t de- 
grade yourself. I am a living man like yourself. I have 
come to speak to you of my wife — of Valentine.” 

“ Don’t breathe her name. I lost her through you. No, 
you are dead — I have murdered you — your blood is on my 
soul — but I won’t go with you yet, not yet. Ha ! ha ! I’ll 
outwit you. Don’t touch me ! ” 

* He gave another scream, an awful scream, half of 
triumph, half of despair, sprang to the door, unlocked it 
and vanished. 

Wyndham took up his violin and left the house. 

“ Mad, poor fellow ! ” he muttered to himself. “ Who’d 
have thought it ? Even from a worldly point of view what 
fools people are to sin ! What luck does it ever bring 
them? He made me his accomplice, his victim, in order 
to keep his daughter’s love, in order to escape dishonor 
and penal servitude. He told me the whole story of that 
trust money — to be his if there was no child — to be 
kept for a child if there was. He was a good fellow 
before he got the trust money I have no doubt. The friend 
died, and soon afterwards Paget learned that he had left a 
son behind him. Mr. Paget told me — how well I remem- 
ber his face when he told me how he felt about the son, 
who was then only an infant, but to whom he must deliver 
the trust money when he came of age. 1 I wanted that 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


305 


money badly,’ he said, 1 and I resolved to suppress the 
trust papers and use the money. I thought the chances 
were that the child would never know.’” 

The chances, however, were against Mr. Paget. The 
friend who had left him the money in trust had not so ab- 
solutely believed in him as he supposed. He had left du- 
plicate papers, and these papers were in the boy’s posses- 
sion. One day Mr. Paget learned this fact. When he 
knew this he knew also that when his friend’s son came of 
age he should have to repay the trust with interest; in 
short, he would have to give the young man the enormous 
sum of eighty thousand pounds or be branded as a thief 
and a criminal. 

“ I remember the night he told me this story,” concluded 
Wyndham with a sigh. 

He was walking slowly now in the direction of the Em- 
bankment. 

“ So the plot was made up,” he continued. “ The insur- 
ance on my life was to pay back the trust. Valentine 
would never know her father’s dishonor. She would con- 
tinue to love him best of all men, and he would escape 
shame, ruin — penal servitude. How have matters turned 
out ? For the love of a woman I performed my part : for 
the love of a woman and self combined, he performed his* 
How has he fared ? The woman ceases to love him, and 
he is mad. I — how have matters fared with me ? How ? 
The wages of sin are hard. I saw a sight to-night which 
might well turn a stronger brain than mine. I saw my wife, 
and the man who may soon be her husband. I must not 
dwell on that, I dare not.” 

Wyndham walked on, a burning fever gave him false 
strength. He reached the Embankment and presently sat 
down near a girl who looked even poorer and more miser- 
able than himself. There were several men and girls occu- 
pying the same bench. It was a bitter cold, frosty night ; 

20 


3°6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


all the seats along the Embankment were full, some poor 
creatures even lay about on the pavement. Wyndham 
turned to look at the slight young creature by his side. 
She was very young, rather fair in appearance, and very 
poorly clad. 

“ You are shivering,” said Wyndham, in the voice which 
still could be one of the kindest in the world. 

The poor worn young face turned to look at him in sur- 
prise and even confidence. 

“Yes,” said the girl. “ I’m bitter cold, and numb, and 
starved. It’s a cruel world, and I hate God Almighty for 
having made me.” 

“ Hush, don’t say that. It does no good to speak 
against the one who loves you. Lean against me. Let 
me put my arm round you. Think of me as a brother for 
the next hour or two. I would not harm a hair of your 
head.” 

“ I believe you,” said the girl, beginning to sob. 

With a touching movement of absolute confidence she 
laid her faded face against his shoulder. 

“ That is better, is it not ? ” said Wyndham. 

“Yes, thank you, sir. I’m desperate sleepy, and I 
shan’t slip off the bench now. I was afraid to go to sleep 
before, for if I slipped off somebody else would get my 
seat, and I know I’d be dead if I lay on the pavement till 
morning.” 

“Well, go to sleep, now. I shan’t let you slip off.” 

“ Sir, how badly you are coughing.” 

“ I am sorry if my cough disturbs you. I qannot help 
giving way to it now and then.” 

“ Oh, sir, it is not that ; you seem like a good angel to 
me. I even love the sound of your cough, for it is kind. 
But have you not a home, sir ? ” 

“ I certainly have a shelter for the night. Not a home 
in the true sense of the word.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


3°7 


“ Ought you not to go to your shelter, sir ? ” 

“No, I shall stay here with you until you have had a 
good sleep. Now shut your eyes.’’ 

The girl tried to obey. For about ten minutes she sat 
quiet, and Wyndham held her close, trying to impart some 
of the warmth from his own body to her frozen frame. 
Suddenly the girl raised her eyes, looked him in the face, 
and smiled. 

“ Sir, you are an angel.” 

“ You make a great mistake. On the contrary I have 
sinned more deeply than most.” 

“Sir?” 

“ It is true.” 

“ I don’t want you to preach to me, sir ; but I know 
from your face however you have sinned you have been 
forgiven.” 

“ You make another mistake ; my sin is unabsolved.” 

“ Sir?” 

The girl’s astonishment showed itself in her tone. 

“ Don’t talk about me,” continued Wyndham. “ It is a 
curious fact that I love God, although it is impossible for 
Him to forgive me until I do something which I find im- 
possible to do. I go unforgiven through life, still I love 
God. I delight in His justice, I glory in the love He has 
even for me, and still more for those who like you can re- 
pent and come to Him, and be really forgiven.” 

He paused, he saw that he was talking over the girl’s 
head. Presently he resumed in a very gentle pleading 
voice : — 

“ I don’t want to hear your story, but ” 

The girl interrupted him with a sort of cry. 

“ It is the usual story, sir. There is nothing to conceal. 
Once I was innocent, now I am what men and women 
call lost. Lost and fallen. That’s what they say of girls 
like me,” 


3 o8 A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 

“ God can say something quite different to you. He 
can say found and restored. Listen. No ones loves you 
like God. Loving He forgives. All things are possible to 
love.” 

“Yes, sir; when you speak like that you make me 
weep.” 

“ Crying will do you good. Poor little girl, we are 
never likely to meet again in this world. I want you to 
promise me that you won’t turn against God Almighty. 
He is your best friend.” 

“ Sir ! And He leaves me to starve. To starve, and 
sin.” 

“ He wants you not to sin. The starving, even if it must 
come, is only a small matter, for there is the whole of eternity 
to make up for it. Now I won’t say another word, except 
to assure you from the lips of a dying man, for I know I 
am dying, that God is your best friend, and that He loves 
you. Go to sleep.” 

The girl smiled again, and presently dropped off into an 
uneasy slumber with her head on Wyndham's shoulder. 

By-and-bye a stout woman, with a basket on her arm, 
came up. She looked curiously at Wyndham. He saw at 
a glance that she must have walked from a long distance, 
and would like his seat. He beckoned her over. 

“ You are tired. Shall I give you my seat? ” 

“ Eh, sir, you are kind. I have come a long way and 
am fair spent.” 

“ You shall sit here, if you will let this tired girl lay her 
head on your breast.” 

“ Eh, but she don’t look as good as she might be ! ” 

“ Never mind. Jesus Christ would have let her put her 
head on His breast. Thank you, I knew you were a kind- 
hearted woman. She will be much better near you than 
near me. Here is a shilling. Give it her when she 
wakes. Good-night.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3<>9 


CHAPTER L. 

Esther longed to go to Acacia Villas during the week. 
She often felt on the point of asking Mrs. Wyndham to give 
her leave, but then again she felt afraid to raise suspicions ; 
and besides her mistress was ill, and clung to her. 
Although Esther listened with a kind of terror on the fol- 
lowing evening, the sound of the violin was not again 
heard. 

Sunday came at last, and she could fclaim her privilege 
of going home. She arrived at Acacia Villas with her 
heart in a tumult. How much she would have to tell 
Wyndham ! It was in her power to make him happy, to 
relieve his heart of its worst load. 

Cherry alone was in the kitchen when she arrived, and 
Cherry was in a very snappish humor. 

“ No, Esther, I don’t know where uncle is. He’s not 
often at home now. I hear say that Mr. Paget is very bad 
— gone in the head you know. They’ll have to put him 
into an asylum, and that’ll be a good thing for poor uncle. 
Take off your bonnet and cloak, Esther, and have a cup of 
tea cosy-like. I’m learning one of Macaulay’s Lays now 
for a recitation. Maybe you’d hear me a few of the stan- 
zas when you’re drinking your tea.” 

“ Yes, Cherry, dear, but I want to go up to Brother 
Jerome first. I can see him while you’re getting the kettle 
to boil. I’ve a little parcel here which I want him to take 
down to Sister Josephine to the Mission House to-morrow.” 

Cherry laughed in a half-startled way. 

“ Don’t you know? ” she said. 

“ Don’t I know what ? ” 


3 I0 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


“ Why Brother Jerome ain’t here ; he went out on Tues- 
day evening and never came home. I thought, for sure, 
uncle would have gone and told you.” 

“ Never came home since Tuesday ? No, I didn’t hear.” 

Esther sat down and put her hand to her heart. Her 
face was ghastly. 

“ I knew it,” murmured Cherry under her breath. “She 
have gone and fallen in love with a chap from one of them 
slums.” 

Aloud she said in a brisk tone : — 

“ Yes, he’s gone. I don’t suppose there’s much in it. 
He were tired of the attic, that’s all. I sleep easy of nights 
now. No more pacing the boards overhead, nor hack, hack, 
hack coughing fit to wake the seven sleepers. What’s the 
matter, Esther?” 

“ You are the most heartless girl I ever met,” said Esther. 
“ No, I don’t want your tea.” 

She tied her bonnet strings and left the house without 
glancing at her crestfallen cousin. 

That very same afternoon, as Mrs. Wyndham was sitting 
in her bedroom, trying to amuse baby, who was in a slightly 
refractory humor, there came a sudden message for her. 
One of the maids came into the room with the information 
that Helps was downstairs and wanted to speak to her 
directly. 

Mrs. Wyndham had not left her room since Tuesday 
evening. There was nothing apparently the matter with 
her, and yet all through the week her pulse had beat too 
quickly, and a hectic color came and went on her cheeks. 
She ate very little, she slept badly, and the watchful 
expression in her eyes took from their beauty and gave 
them a strained appearance. She did not know herself 
why she was watchful, or what she was waiting for, but she 
was consciously nervous and ill at ease. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 




When the maid brought the information that Helps was 
downstairs, her mistress instantly started to her feet, almost 
pushing the astonished and indignant baby aside. 

“ Take care of Master Gerry,” she said to the girl. “ I 
will go and speak to Mr. Helps ; where is he ? ” 

“ I showed him into the study, ma’am.” 

Valentine ran downstairs ; her eagerness and impatience 
and growing presentiment that something was at hand 
increased with each step she took. She entered the study, 
and said in a brusque voice, and with a bright color in her 
cheeks : — 

“ Well ? ” 

“ Mr. Paget has sent me to you, Mrs. Wyndham,” said 
Helps, in his uniformly weak tones. “ Mr. Paget is ill, and 
he wants to see you at once.” 

Valentine stepped back a pace. 

“ My father ! ” she said. “ But he knows I do not care 
to go to the house.” 

“ He knows that fact very well, Mrs. Wyndham.” 

“ Still he sent for me ? ” 

“ He did, madam.” 

“ Is my father worse than usual ? ” 

“ In some ways he is worse — in some better,” replied 
Helps in a dubious sort of voice. “ If I were you I’d come, 
Miss Valentine — Mrs. Wyndham, I mean.” 

“ Yes, Helps, I’ll come ; I’ll come instantly. Will you 
fetch a cab for me ? ” 

“ There’s one waiting at the door, ma’am.” 

“ Very well. I won’t even go upstairs. Fetch me my 
cloak from the stand in the hall, will you? Now I am 
ready.” 

The two got into the cab and drove away. No one in 
the house even knew that they had gone. 

When they arrived at Queen’s Gate, Helps still took the 
lead. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


312 

“ Is my father in the library ? ” asked the daughter. 

“ No, Mrs. Wyndham. Mr. Paget has been in his room 
for the last day or two. I’ll take you to him, if you please, 
at once.” 

“ Thank you, Helps.” 

Valentine left her cloak in the hall, and followed the old 
servant upstairs. 

“ Here’s Mrs. Wyndham,” said Helps, opening the door 
of the sick man’s room, and then shutting it and going 
away himself. 

“ Here’s Valentine,” said Mrs. Wyndham, coming for- 
ward. “ I did not know you were so ill, father.” 

He was dressed, and sitting in a chair. She went up to 
him and laid her hand gravely on his arm. 

“ You have come, Valentine, you have come. Kneel 
down by me. Let me look at you. Valentine, you have 
come.” 

“ I have come.” 

Never did hungrier eyes look into hers. 

“ Kiss me.” 

She bent forward at once, and pressed a light kiss on his 
cheek. 

“ Don’t do it again,” he said. 

He put up his hand and rubbed the place that her lips 
had touched. 

“ There’s no love in a kiss like that. Don’t give me such 
another.” 

“You are ill, father; I did not know you were so very 
ill,” replied his daughter in the quiet voice in which she 
would soothe a little child. 

“ I am ill in mind, Valentine, and sometimes my mind 
affects my body. It did for the last few days. This after- 
noon I’m better — I mean I am better in mind, and I sent 
for you that I might get the thing over.” 

“ What thing, father ? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3*3 

“ Never mind for a moment or two. You used to be so 
fond of me, little Val.” 

“ I used— truly I used ! ” 

The tears filled her eyes. 

“ I thought you’d give me one of the old kisses.” 

“ I can’t. Don’t ask it.” 

“ Is your love dead, child, quite dead ? ” 

“ Don’t ask.” 

“ My God,” said the sick man ; “ her love is dead before 
she knows — even before she knows. What a punishment 
is here ? ” 

A queer light filled his eyes ; Valentine remembered that 
whispers had reached her with regard to her father’s sanity. 
She tried again to soothe him. 

“ Let us talk common-places ; it does not do every 
moment to gauge one’s feelings. Shall I tell you about 
baby ? ” 

“ No, no ; don’t drag the child’s name into the conver- 
sation of this hour. Valentine, one of two things is about 
to happen to me. I am either going to die or to become 
quite hopelessly mad. Before either thing happens I have 
a confession to make.” 

“ Confession ? Father ! ” 

Her face grew very white. 

“ Yes. I want to confess to you. It won’t pain me so 
much as it would have done had any of your love for me 
survived. It is right you should know. I have not the 
least doubt when you do know you will see justice done. 
Of late you have not troubled yourself much about my 
affairs. Perhaps you do not know that I have practically 
retired from my business, and that I have taken steps to 
vest the whole concern absolutely in your hands. When 
you know all you will probably sell it ; but that is your 
affair. I shall either be in my grave or a madhouse, so it 
won’t concern me. If any fragment of money survives 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3*4 

afterwards — I mean after you have done what you absolutely 
consider just — you must hold it in trust for your son. Now 
I am ready to begin. What is the matter, Valentine? ” 

“ Only that you frighten me very much. I have not been 
quite — quite well lately. Do you mind my fetching a 
chair ? ” 

“ I did not know you were ill, child. Yes, take that 
chair. Oh, Valentine, for you my love was true.” 

u Father, don’t let us go back to that subject. Now I 
am ready. I will listen. What have you got to say ? ” 

“ In the first place, I am perfectly sane at this moment.” 

“ I am sure of that.” 

“ Now listen. Look away from me, Valentine, while I 
speak. That is all I ask.” 

Valentine slightly turned her chair ; her trembling and 
excitement had grown and grown.” 

“ I am ready. Don’t make the story longer than you 
can help,” she said in a choked voice. 

“ Years and years ago, child, before you were born, I 
was a happy man. I was honorable then and good ; I was 
the sort of man I pretended to be afterwards. I married 
your mother, who died at your birth. I had loved your 
mother very dearly. After her death you filled her place. 
Soon you did more than fill it ; you were everything to me ; 
you gave early promise of being a more spirited and bril- 
liant woman than your mother. I lived for you ; you were 
my whole and entire world. 

“ Before your birth, Valentine, a friend, a great friend of 
mine, left me a large sum of money. He was dying at the 
time he made his will; his wife was in New Zealand; he 
thought it possible that she might soon give birth to a child. 
If the child lived, the money was to be kept in trust for it 
until its majority. If it died it was to be mine absolutely. 
I may as well tell you that my friend’s wife was a very 
worthless woman, and he was determined she should have 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3*5 


nothing to say to the money. He died — I took possession 
— a son was born. I knew this fact, but I was hard 
pressed at the time, and I stole the money. 

“ My belief was that neither the child nor the mother 
could ever trace the money. Soon I was disappointed. I 
received a letter from the boy’s mother which showed me 
that she knew all, and although not a farthing could be 
claimed until the lad came of age, then I must deliver to 
him the entire sum with interest. 

“ From that moment my punishment began. The trust 
fund, with interest, would amount to eighty thousand 
pounds. Even if I made myself a beggar I could not re- 
store the whole of this great sum. If I did not restore it 
at the coming of age of this young man, I should be 
doomed to a felon’s cell, and penal servitude. I looked 
into your face ; you loved me then ; you worshipped me. 
I idolized you. I resolved that disgrace and ruin should 
not touch you. 

“ Helps and I bptween us concocted a diabolical plot. 
Helps was like wax in my hands ; he had helped me to 
appropriate the money ; he knew my secrets right through. 
We made the plot, and waited for results. I took you into 
society, I wanted you to marry. My object was that you 
should marry a man whom you did not love. Wyndham 
came on the scene ; he seemed a weak sort of fellow — 
weak, pliable — passionately in love with you — cursedly 
poor. Did you speak, Valentine ? ” 

“ No ; you must make this story brief, if you please.” 

“ It can be told in a few more words. I thought I could 
make Wyndham my tool. I saw that his passion for you 
blinded him to almost everything. Otherwise, he was the 
most selfless person I ever met. I saw that his unselfish- 
ness would make him strong to endure. His overpowering 
love for you would induce him to sacrifice everything for 
present bliss. Such a combination of strength and weakness 


3 1 6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


was what I had been looking for. I told Helps that I had 
found my man. Helps did not like it ; he had taken an 
insane fancy for the fellow. What is the matter, Valentine ? 
How you fidget.” 

“ You had better be brief. My patience is nearly ex- 
hausted.” 

“ I am very brief. I spoke to Wyndham. I made my 
bargain ; he was to marry you. Before marriage, with the 
plausible excuse that the insurance was to be effected by 
way of settlement, I paid premiums for insurances on the 
young man’s life for eighty thousand pounds. I insured 
his life in four offices. You were married. He knew 
what he had undertaken, and everything went well, except 
for one cursed fact — you learned to love the fellow. I nearly 
went mad when I saw the love for him growing into your 
eyes. He was to sail on board the Esperance. He knew, 
and I knew that he was never coming back. He was to 
feign death. Our plans were made carefully. I was to 
receive a proper certificate, and with that in my hand I 
could claim the insurance money. Thus he was to save 
you and me from dishonor, which is worse than death. 

“ All our plans were laid. I waited for news. Val- 
entine, you make me strangely nervous. What is the 
matter with you, child ? Are you going to faint ? ” 

“ No — no — no ! Go on — go on ! Don’t speak to me — 

don’t address me again by my name. Just go on, or I 

Oh, God, I am a desperate woman ! Go on, I must hear 
the end.” 

As Valentine grew excited her father became cool and 
quiet: he waited until she had done speaking, then 
dropping his head he continued his narrative in a dreary 
monotone. 

“ I waited for news — it was long in coming. At last it 
arrived on the day my grandson was born. Wyndham had 
outwitted me. He could not bear the load of a living death. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3D 


Shame on him. He could take his bliss, but not his punish- 
ment. He leaped overboard the Esperance — he committed 
suicide.” 

“ What ? No, never. Don’t dare to say such words.’’ 

“ I must say them, although they are cruel. He com- 
mitted suicide, and then he came to haunt me ; he knew 
that his blood would rest on my soul ; he knew how best 
to torture me for what I had done to him.” 

“ One question. Was the insurance money paid? ” 

“ Was it ? Yes. I believe so. That part seemed all of 
minor importance afterwards. But I believe it was paid. 
I think Helps saw to it.” 

“ You believe that my husband committed suicide, and 
yet you allowed the insurance offices to pay.” 

“ What of that ? No one else knew my thoughts.” 

“ As you say, what of that ? Is your story finished ? ” 

“ Nearly. I lost your love, and for the last three years 
I have been haunted by Wyndham. I see his shadow 
everywhere. Once I met him in the street. A few nights 
ago he came into the library and confronted me ; he spoke 
to me and tried to touch me ; he pretended he was not 
dead.” 

“ What night was that ? ” 

Valentine’s voice had changed ; there was a new ring in 
it. Her father roused himself from his lethargic attitude to 
look into her face. “ What night did my husband come to 
you ? ” 

“ I forget — no, I remember. It was Tuesday night.” 

“ Did he carry a violin ? Speak — did he ? ” 

“ He carried something. It may have been a violin. 
Do they use such instruments in the other world ? He was 
a spirit, you know, child. How queer, how very queer you 
look ! ” 

“ I feel queer.” 

“ He wanted me to touch him, child, but I wouldn’t. I 
was too knowing for that. If you touch a spirit you must 


3*8 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


go with him. No, no, I knew a thing worth two of that 
He went on telling me he was alive. But I knew better, 
he couldn’t take me in. Valentine, everything seems so 
far away. Valentine, I am faint, faint. Ah, there he is 
again by the door. Look ! No, he must not touch me — 
he must not ! ” 

Valentine glanced round. There was no one present. 
Then she rang the bell. It was answered by the old house- 
keeper. 

“ Mrs. Marsh, my father is ill. Will you give him some 
restorative at once ? And send for the doctor, if necessary. 
I must go, but I’ll come back if possible to-night.” 

She left the room without glancing at the sick man, who 
followed her to the door with his dim eyes. She went 
downstairs, put on her cloak and left the house. 

She had to walk a little distance before she met a han- 
som, and one or two people stared at the tall, slim figure, 
which was still young and girlish, but which bore on its 
proud face such a hard expression, such a burning defiant 
light in the eyes. Valentine soon reached home. Every- 
thing was in a whirl in her brain. Esther Helps was stand- 
ing on the steps. She flew to Esther, clasped her hands 
In a grasp of iron, and said in a husky choked voice : — 

“ Esther, my husband is alive ! ” 

“ He is, dear madam, he is, and I have come to take 
you to him ! ” 

“ Oh, Esther, thank God ! ” 

“ Come indoors, madam, you have not a moment to lose. 
We will keep that cab, if you please. I have only just 
come back. I was going to seek you. Stay one moment, 
Mrs. Wyndham. You are in black ; will you put on your 
white dress — the one you wore on Tuesday night.” 

“ Oh, what does it matter? Let me go to him.” 

“ Little things sometimes matter a great deal ; he saw 
you last in your white dress,” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3*9 


“ He was really there on Tuesday night ? ” 

“ He was there. Come, I will fly for the dress and put 
it on you.” 

She did so. Valentine put her cloak over it, and the 
two drove away in the hansom. Valentine had no ears for 
the direction given to the cabman. 

“ I am in heaven,” she said once, under her breath. 
“ He lives. Now I can forgive my father ! ” 
a Madam, your husband is very ill.” 

Valentine turned her great shining eyes towards Esther. 
“ All the better. I can nurse him,” she said, with a smile, 
and then she pulled the hood of her cloak over her head 
and did not speak another word. 

The cab drew up at one of the entrances to St. Thomas’ 
Hospital. 


320 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER LI. 

“ What place is this? ” asked the wife. 

She was unacquainted with hospitals and sickness. 

“This is a place where they cure the sick, and succour 
the dying, dear Mrs. Wyndham,” gently remarked Esther 
Helps. 

“ They cure the sick here, do they ? But I will cure 
my husband myself. I know the way.” She smiled. 
“ Take me to him, Esther. How slow you are. Beloved 
Esther — I don’t thank you — I have no words to say thank 
you — but my heart is so happy I think it will burst.” 

The porter came forward, then a nurse. Several cere- 
monies had to be gone through, several remarks made, 
several questions asked. Valentine heard and saw nothing. 
Esther helped Valentine to take off her cloak ; and she 
stood in her simple long plain white dress, with her bright 
hair like a glory round her happy face. 

The nurse who finally conducted them to the ward where 
Wyndham lay looked at her in a sort of bewilderment. 
Esther and the nurse went first, and Valentine slowly fol- 
lowed between the long rows of beds ; some of the men 
said afterwards that an angel had gone through the ward 
on the night that the strolling minstrel, poor fellow, died. 
The sister who had charge of the ward turned and whis- 
pered a word to Esther, then she pushed aside a screen 
which surrounded one of the beds. 

“ Your husband is very ill,” she said, looking with a world 
of pity into Valentine’s bright eyes. “ You ought to be 
prepared ; he is very ill.” 

“ Thank you, I am quite prepared. I have come to cure 
him.” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


321 

Then she went inside the screen, and Esther and the 
nurse remained without. 

Wyndham was lying with his eyes closed ; his sunken 
cheeks, his deathly pallor, his quick and hurried breath 
might have prepared the young wife for the worst. They 
did not. She stood for a moment at the foot of the bed, 
her hands clasped in ecstasy, her eyes shining, a wonderful 
smile bringing back the beauty to her lips. Then she 
came forward and lay gently down by the side of the dying 
man. She slipped her hand under his head and laid her 
cheek to his. 

“At last, Gerald,” she said, “ at last you have come 
back ! You didn’t die. You are changed, greatly changed ; 
but you didn’t die, Gerald.” 

He opened his eyes and looked her full in the face. 

“ Valentine ! ” 

" Hush, you are too weak to talk. Stay quiet, I am with 
you. I will nurse you back to strength. Oh, my darling, 
you didn’t die.” 

“ Your darling, Valentine? Did you call me your dar- 
ling?” 

“ I said it. I say it. You are all the world to me ; without 
you the world is empty. Oh, how I love you — how I have 
loved you for years.” 

“ Then it was good I didn’t die,” said Wyndham, he 
raised his eyes, looked up and smiled. His smile was one 
of ecstasy. 

“ Of course it was good that you didn’t die, and now 
you are going to get well. Lie still. Do you like my 
hand under your head ? ” 

“ Like it ? ” 

“ Yes ; you need not tell me. Let me talk to you ; 
don’t answer me. Gerald, my father told me. He told 
me what he had done ; he told me what you had done. 
He wants me to forgive him, but I’m not going to forgive 

21 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


^22 

him. I’ll never forgive him, Gerald. I have ceased to 
love him, and I’ll never forgive him ; all my love is for 
you.” 

“ Not all, wife — not quite all. Give him back a little, 
and — forgive.” 

“ How weak you are, Gerald, and your voice sounds 
miles away.” 

“ Forgive him, Valentine.” 

“Yes, if you wish it. Lie still, darling.” 

“ Valentine — that money.” 

“ I know about it — that blood-money. The price of your 
precious life. It shall be paid back at once.” 

“ Then God will forgive me. I thank Him, unspeakably.” 

“ Gerald, you are very weak. I can scarcely hear your 
words. Does it tire you dreadfully to talk ? See, I will 
hold your hand ; when you are too tired to speak your fin- 
gers can press mine. Gerald, you were outside our house 
on Tuesday night. Yes, I feel the pressure of your hand ; 
you were there. Gerald, you were very unhappy that 
night.” 

“ But not now, darling,” replied Wyndham. He had 
found his voice ; his words came out with a sudden strength 
and joy. “ I made a mistake that night, wife. I won’t 
tell it to you. I made a mistake.” 

“ And you are really quite, quite happy now.” 

“ Happy ! Sorrow is put behind me — the former things 
are done away.” 

“ You will be happier still when you come home to baby 
and me.” 

“ You’ll come to me, Val ; you and the boy.” 

“ What do you say? I can’t hear you.” 

“ You’ll come to me.” 

“ I am with you.” 

“You’ll come — up — to me.” 

Then she began to understand. 




A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


3 2 3 


Half-an-hour later the nurse and Esther drew the screen 
aside and caire in. Valentine’s face was nearly as white 
as Wyndham’s. She did not see the two as they came in. 
Her eyes were fixed on her husband’s, her hand still held 
his. 

“ He wants a stimulant,” said the nurse. 

She poured something out of a bottle and put it between 
the dying man’s lips. He opened his eyes when she did 
this, and looked at Valentine. 

“ Are you still there ? Hold my hand.” 

“ Do you think I would let it go? I have been wanting 
this hand to clasp mine for so long, oh, for so long.” 

The nurse again put some stimulant between Gerald’s 
lips. 

“ You must not tire his strength, madam,” she said. 
“ Even emotion, even joyful emotion is more than he can 
bear just now.” 

“ Is it, nurse ? Then I will sit quiet, and not speak. I 
don’t mind how long I stay, nor how quiet I keep, if only 
I can save him. Nurse, I know he is very ill, but, but 

» 

Her lips quivered, and her eyes, dry and bright and hun- 
gry, were fixed on the nurse. Wyndham, too, was looking 
at the nurse with a question written on his face. She bent 
down low, and caught his faint whisper. 

“ Your husband bids you hope,” she said then, turning 
to Valentine. “ He bids you take courage ; he bids you 
to have the best hope of all — the hope eternal. Madam, 
when you clasp hands up there you need not part.” 

“ Did you tell her to say that to me, Gerald ? ” asked 
the wife. “ Oh, no, you couldn’t have told her to say 
those words. Oh, no, you love me too well to go away.” 

“ God loves you, Valentine,” suddenly said Gerald. 
“ God loves you, and He loves me, and His eternal love 
will surround us. I up there, you here. In that love we 
shall be one.” 


3 2 4 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


Only the nurse knew with what difficulty Wyndham 
uttered these words, but Valentine saw the light in his 
eyes. She bowed her head on his thin hand, her lips kissed 
it — she did not speak. 

To the surprise of the sister who had charge of the ward, 
Wyndham lingered on for hours — during the greater part 
of the night. Valentine and Esther never left him. Esther 
sat a little in the shadow where her pale face could scarcely 
be seen. If she felt personal grief she kept it under. The 
chief actors in the tragedy, the cruelly-wronged husband 
and wife, absorbed all her thoughts. No, she had no time, 
no room, to think of herself. 

Wyndham was going — Brother Jerome would no longer 
be known in the streets of East London ; the poor, the 
sorrowful, would grieve at not seeing his face again. The 
touch of his hand could no longer comfort — the light in his 
eyes could no longer bless. The Mission would have to do 
without Brother Jerome — this missioner was about to 
render up his account to the Judge of all. 

The little attic in Acacia Villas would also be empty ; 
the tired man would not need the few comforts that Esther 
had collected round him — the tiresome cough, the weary 
restless step would cease to disturb Cherry’s rest, and 
Esther’s chief object in life would be withdrawn. 

He who for so long was supposed to be dead would be 
dead in earnest. Valentine would be a real widow, little 
Gerald truly an orphan. 

All these thoughts thronged through Esther’s mind as 
she sat in the shadow behind the screen and listened to 
the chimes outside as they proclaimed the passing time, 
and the passing away also of a life. 

Every moment lives of men go away — souls enter the 
unknown country. Some go with regret, some with re- 
joicing. In some cases there are many left behind to 
sorrow— in other cases no one mourns. 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


325 


Wyndham had sinned, he had yielded to temptation ; he 
had been weak — a victim it is true — still a victim who with 
his eyes open had done a great wrong. Yet Esther felt 
that for some at least it was a good thing that Wyndham 
was born. 

“ I, for one, thank God that I knew him,” she murmured. 
“ He has caused me suffering, but he has raised me. I 
thank God that I was permitted to know such a man. The 
world would, I suppose, speak of him as a sinner, but to 
my way of thinking, if ever there was a saint he is one.” 

So the night passed on, and Valentine remained motion- 
less by the dying man’s bed. What her thoughts were, 
none might read. 

At last, towards the break of day, the time when so many 
souls go away, Wyndham stirred faintly and opened his 
eyes. Valentine moved forward with an eager gesture. He 
looked at her, but there was no comprehension in his glance. 

“ What is the matter?” said Valentine to the nurse. “ I 
scarcely know him — his face has altered.” 

“ It looks young, madam. Dying faces often do so. 
Hark, he is saying something.” 

“ Lilias,” said Wyndham. “ Lilly — mother calls us — we 
are to sing our evening hymn. 

* Bright in the happy land ! ’ 

Lilias, do you hear mother ; she is calling ? Kneel down — 
our evening prayers — by mother — we always say our 
prayers by mother’s knee. Kneel, Lilias, see, my hands are 
folded — * Our Father’ ” 

There was a long pause after the last words, a pause 
followed by one more breath of infinite content, and then 
the nurse closed the dead man’s eyes. 


3^6 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


CHAPTER LII. 

TWO YEARS AFTER. 

Augusta Wyndham was pacing up and down the broad 
gravel walk which ran down the centre of the rectory garden 
in a state of great excitement. She was walking quickly, 
her hands clasped loosely before her, her tall and rather 
angular figure drawn up to its full height, her bright black 
eyes alert and watchful in their expression. 

“ Now, if only they are not interrupted,” she said, “ if 
only I can keep people from going near the rose-walk, he’ll 
do it — I know he’ll do it — I saw it in his eyes when he 
came up and asked me where Lilias was. He hasn’t been 
here for six months, and I had given up all hope \ but hope 
has revived to-day — hope springs eternal in the human 
breast. Tra la, la — la, la. Now, Gerry, boy, what do you 
want ? ” 

A sturdy little fellow in a sailor suit stood for a moment 
in the porch of the old rectory, then ran with a gleeful 
shout down the gravel walk towards Augusta. She held 
out her arms to detain him. 

“ Well caught, Gerry,” she said. 

“ It isn’t well caught,” he replied with an angry flush. “ I 
don’t want to stay with you, Auntie Gussie : I want to go 
to my — my own auntie. Let me pass, please.” 

“ You saucy boy, auntie’s busy ; you shall stay with me.” 

“ I won’t. I’ll beat you — I won’t stay.” 

“ If I whisper something to you, Gerry — something about 
Auntie Lil. Now be quiet, mannikin, and let me say my 
say. You love Auntie Lil, don’t you? ” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 327 

“You know that; you do talk nonsense sometimes. I 
love father in heaven, and mother, and Auntie Lil.” 

“ And me, you little wretch.” 

“ Sometimes. Let me go to Auntie Lil now.” 

“ I want to whisper something to you, Gerry. Auntie 
Lil is talking to someone she loves much better than you 
or me or anyone else in the world, and it would be very 
unkind to interrupt her.” 

Gerry was sitting on Augusta’s shoulder. From this 
elevated position he could catch a glimpse of a certain 
grey dress, and a quick flash of chestnut hair, as the sun 
shone on it — that dress and that hair belonged to Auntie 
Lil. It was no matter at all to Gerry that someone else 
walked by her side, that someone was bending his dark 
head somewhat close to hers, and that as she listened her 
steps faltered and grew slow. 

Gerry’s whole soul was wounded by Augusta’s words. 
His Aunt Lilias did not love anyone better than him. It 
was his bounden duty, his first duty in life, to have such 
an erroneous statement put right at once. 

He put forth all his strength, struggled down from Au- 
gusta’s shoulders, and before she was aware of it was speed- 
ing like an arrow from a bow to his target, Lilias. 

“ There, now, I give it up,” said Augusta. “ Awful child, 
what mischief may he not make ? Don’t I hear his shrill 
voice even here ! Oh, I give it up now ; I shall go into 
the house. The full heat of the sun in July does not suit 
me, and if in addition to all other troubles Lilias is to have 
a broken heart, I may as well keep in sufficient health to 
nurse her.” 

Meanwhile Gerry was having a very comfortable time 
on Carr’s shoulder ; his dark eyes were looking at his 
Aunt Lilias, and his little fat, hot hand was clasped in hers. 

“ Well,” he said suddenly, “ which is it ? ” 

“ Which is what, Gerry ? I don’t understand.” 


3 28 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


“ I think you are stoopid, Auntie Lill. Is it him or 
me?” 

Then he laid his other fat hand on Carr’s forehead. 

“ Is it him or me ? ” said Gerry, “ that you love the 
most of all the peoples in the world ? ” 

“ It’s me, Gerry, it’s me,” suddenly said Adrian Carr ; 
“ but you come next, dear little man. Kiss him, Lilias, and 
tell him that he comes next.” 

“Gerald’s dear little boy,” said Lilias. She took him in 
her arms and pressed her head against his chubby neck. 

“ Dear, dear little boy/’ she said. “ I think you’ll always 
come second.” 

She looked so solemn when she spoke, and so beautiful 
was the light in her eyes when she raised her face to look 
at Gerry, that even he, most despotic of little mortals, 
could not but feel satisfied. 

He ran away presently to announce to all and everyone 
within reach that Mr. Carr had kissed Auntie Lill like any- 
thing, and the newly-betrothed pair were left alone. 

“ At last, Lilias,” said Carr. 

She looked shyly into his face. 

“ I thought I should never win you,” he continued. “ I 
have loved you for years, and I never had courage to tell 
you so until to-day.” 

“ And I have loved you for years,” replied Lilias Wynd- 
ham. 

“ But not best, Lily. Oh, I have read you like a book. 
I never came before Gerald in your heart.” 

“ No,” she said letting go his hand, and moving a step 
or two away, so that she should face him. “ I love you 
well, beyond all living men, but Gerald stands alone. His 
place can never be filled.” 

The tears sprang into her eyes and rolled down her 
cheeks. 

“ And J love you better for loving him so, my darling,” 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE . 


3 2 9 

answered her lover. He put his arms round her, and she 
laid her head on his breast. 

Far a long time they paced up and down the Rose-walk. 
They had much to say, much to feel, much to be silent 
over. The air was balmy overhead, and the rose-leaves 
were tossed by the light summer breeze against Lilias’ grey 
dress. 

Presently she began to talk of the past. Carr asked 
tenderly for Valentine. 

“Valentine is so noble,” replied her sister-in-law. “You 
don’t know what she has been to me since that day when 
she and I looked together at Gerald’s dead face. Oh, that 
day, that dreadful day ! ” 

“ It is past, Lilias. Think of the future, the bright 
future, and he is in that brightness now.” 

“I know.” 

She wiped the tears again from her eyes. Then she con- 
tinued in a changed voice : — 

“ I will try and forget that day, which, as you say, is 
behind Gerald and me. At the time I could scarcely think 
of myself. I was so overcome with the wonderful brave 
way in which Valentine acted. You know her father died 
a month afterwards, and she was so sweet to him. She 
nursed him day and night, and did all that woman could 
do to comfort and forgive him. His brain was dreadfully 
clouded, however, and he died at last in a state of uncon- 
sciousness. Then Valentine came out in a new light. She 
went to the insurance offices and told the whole story of 
the fraud that had been practised on them, and of her 
husband’s part in it. She told the story in such a way that 
hard business men, as most of these men were, wept. 
Then she sold her father’s great shipping business, which 
had all been left absolutely to her, and paid back every 
penny of the money. 

“ Since then, as you know, she and Gerry live here. She 
is really the idol of my old father’s life ; he and she are 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE. 


%1P 

scarcely ever parted. Yes, she is a noble woman. Wlien I 
look at her I say to myself, Gerald, at least, did not love 
unworthily.” 

“Then she is poor now? ” 

“ As the world speaks of poverty she is poor. Do you 
think Valentine minds that ? Oh, how little her father un- 
derstood her when he thought that riches were essential to 
her happiness. No one has simpler tastes than Valentine. 
Do you know that she housekeeps now at the rectory, and 
we are really much better off than we used to be. Alack 
and alas ! Adrian, you ought to know in time, I am such 
a bad housekeeper.” 

Lilias laughed quite merrily as she spoke, and Carr’s dark 
face glowed. 

“ It is a bargain,” he said, “ that I take you with your 
faults and don’t reproach you with them. And what has 
become of that fine creature, Esther Helps ? ” he asked 
presently. 

“ She works in East London, and comes here for her 
holidays. Sometimes I think Valentine loves Esther Helps 
better than anyone in the world after Gerry.” 

l< That is scarcely to be wondered at, is it ? ” 

Just then their conversation was interrupted by some 
gleeful shouts, and the four little 'girls, no longer so very 
small, came flying round the corner in hot pursuit of 
Gerry. 

“ Here they is ! ” exclaimed the small tyrant, gazing 
round at his devoted subjects, and pointing with a lofty and 
condescending air to Adrian and Lilias. “ Here they is ! ” 
he said, “ and I ’spose they’ll do it again if we ask them.” 

“ Do what again ? ” asked Lilias innocently. 

“ Why, kiss one another,” replied Gerry. “ I saw you 
do it, so don’t tell stories. Joan and Betty they wouldn’t 
believe me. Please do it again, please do. Mr. Carr, 
please kiss Auntie Lil again.” 


A life for a love. 


33 1 


“ Oh, fie, Gerry,” replied Lilias. She tried to turn away, 
but Carr went up to her gravely, and he kissed her brow. 

“ There’s nothing in it,” he continued, looking round at 
the astonished little girls. “ We are going to be husband 
and wife in a week or two, and husbands and wives always 
kiss one another.” 

“ Then I was right,” said Betty. “ Joan and Rosie 
wouldn’t believe me, but I was right after all. I am glad 
of that.” 

“ I believed you, Betty. I always believed you,” said 
Violet. 

“ Well, perhaps you did. The others didn’t. I’m glad 
I was right.” 

“ How were you right, Betty? ” asked Carr. 

“ Oh, don’t ask her, Adrian. Let us come into the 
house,” interrupted Lilias. 

“ Yes, we’ll come into the house, of course. But I should 
like to know how Betty was right.” 

“ Why you wanted to kiss her years ago. I knew it, and 
I said it. Didn’t ^ou, now?” 

“ Speak the trufe,” suddenly commanded Gerry. 

“ Yes, I did,” replied Carr. 

When Adrian Carr left the rectory that evening he had 
to walk down the dusty road which led straight past the 
church and the little village school-house to the railway 
station. This road was full of associations to him, and he 
walked slowly, thinking of past scenes, thanking God for 
his present blessings. 

“ It was here, by the turnstile, I first saw Lilias,” he 
said to himself. “ She and Marjory were standing together, 
and she came forward and looked at me, and asked me in 
that sweet voice of hers if I were not Mr. Carr. She 
reminded me of her brother, whom I just barely knew. It 
was a fleeting likeness, seen more at first than after- 
wards. 


33 2 


A LIFE FOR A LOVE * 


“ Here, by this little old school-house the villagers stood 
and rejoiced the last day Gerald came home. Poor Wyndham 
— most blessed and most miserable of men. Well, he is 
at rest now, and even here I see the cross which throws a 
shadow over his grave ! ” 

Carr looked at his watch. There was time. He entered 
the little church-yard. A green mound, a white cross, 
several wreaths of flowers, marked the spot where one who 
had been much loved in life lay until the resurrection. The 
cross was so placed as to bend slightly over the grave as 
though to protect it. It bore a very brief inscription : — 

In Peace. 

GERALD WYNDHAM. 

Aged 27. 


THE END. 


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